History Creator / JohnPinette

-->'''John:''' ''[crazy voice]'' "I'm making a pork roast..." ''[normal voice]'' NO YOU'RE NOT! IT'S ALMONDS! MUSHED TOGETHER! YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MARBLES! HAVE A CHEESEBURGER!

* DisgustingVegetarianFood: He described the vegan diet as buying loads of almonds and "mashing them into the shape of things they wish they could eat".

* RunningGag: Besides the various food related jokes, Pinette also had a number of others, including a all you can eat Chinese Buffet which apparently banned John from ever eating there again. Went UpToEleven apparently when on a comedy tour in Scotland, he went into different buffet to escape another meal of haggis with whiskey gravy....

* FateWorseThanDeath: His reaction to finding out he had a gluten allergy was first "I don't know what gluten is", and then after finding ''that'' out, desperately pleading to the doctor "Check again! Maybe it's just cancer!"

-->'''John:''' I had a guy in front of me go "How big is a Small?" ''[{{beat}}]'' It's ''small''. The Smalls are small, the Mediums are medium, the Larges are large. If you have to ask how small a Small is, you're not hungry enough yet, come back later. [[AC:Get outta the line!]]

* ToiletHumor: While on an extended drive, John accidentally let a fart slip.

*** This bit him on the ass ''hard'' when he was able to take a trip to Italy. He relates how he knows how to say "Feed me, I'm starving" in multiple languages. At the restaurant in Italy, he busts out one... and the restaurateurs make ''damn'' sure he doesn't leave the table unsated (although from the way he described it, it seems that this is standard practice for restaurants in Italy).

'''John:''' Well, then I'll take it. Let me help you up.

'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 – April 5, 2014) was an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.

'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 – April 5, 2014) an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.

Pinette died of a pulmonary embolism at a hotel in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on April 5, 2014, just days after his 50th birthday.

French-Irish comedian (his stomach was Italian). His jokes centered on his life, his travels, and food. Especially food. Also a talented singer.

*** This bit him on the ass ''hard'' when he was able to take a trip to Italy. He relates how he knows how to say "Feed me, I'm starving" in multiple languages (including ancient ones, "[[CrazyPrepared just in case]]"). At the restaurant in Italy, he busts out one... and the restaurateurs make ''damn'' sure he doesn't leave the table unsated (although from the way he described it, it seems that this is standard practice for restaurants in Italy).

'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 – April 5, 2014) an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.\\
French-Irish comedian (his stomach was Italian). His jokes centered on his life, his travels, and food. Especially food. Also a talented singer. And for all that, he was probably best known as the carjacked fat guy in the final ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' episode.

* BerserkButton: People who don't understand line etiquette.

** Also, in an Ewok like voice: "Get outa the line!" for those who hold up food lines with indecisive, or random banter.

'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 – April 5, 2014) an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.
French-Irish comedian (his stomach was Italian). His jokes centered on his life, his travels, and food. Especially food. Also a talented singer. And for all that, he was probably best known as the carjacked fat guy in the final ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' episode.

* BuffetBuffoonery: His[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdwuiyO7hOU "Chinese Buffet"]]routine features the third variety.

* RunningGag: Besides the various food related jokes, Pinette also had a number of others, including a all you can eat Chinese Buffet which apparently banned John from ever eating there again. Went UpToEleven apparently when on a comedy tour in Scotland, he went into different buffet to escape another meal of haggis with whiskey gravy...

* WhamLine: In the CircularReasoning argument above, John notes that "If the TV's gonna break, then I'm not buying it" was this to the store employee selling him the TV.

'''John:''' They brought out food for hours. We were fighting amongst ourselves. "Stop ordering, that's enough." "I didn't order this." "I didn't order this either." "They're just bringin' out stuff. Let's get outta here!" We had a friend with us, Timmy. He was too skinny. We should have known, he shouldn't have come! Halfway through the meal, he died! And they kept on tryin' to feed him, they were smacking him, "WASSA MATTER, YOU DON'T LIKE IT?!" "He's ''dead''! ''[beat]'' Pass that over ''here''!"

--->'''John:''' Aren't we going to order?\\
'''Restauranteur:''' Not yet. First, we gonna bring out-a some food.\\

'''John:''' They just kept bringing out food, and we weren't even ordering it! One guy we had with us, Timmy... he was too skinny... he died partway through the meal. They kept trying to feed him, they were putting food in his mouth, slapping him around, "Whassa matter, you don't like it?!" HE'S ''DEAD!'' ({{Beat}}) Pass that over ''here!''

* AcceptableLifestyleTargets:
** The Amish, due to their humble life style and avoiding of electronics, John would toss a few jokes their way figuring they wouldn't see his shows to complain about it. Led to some HilariousInHindsight [[OhCrap jokes]] when he learned of Creator/DiscoveryChannel airing Series/AmishMafia.
** Vegetarians. He tried being respectful of their views, but can't stand being lectured about his own lifestyle, or them trying to claim vegetable stand ins are as good as the real meat products.

French-Irish comedian (his stomach was Italian). His jokes centered on his life, his travels, and food. Especially food. Also a talented singer. And for all that, he was probably best known as the carjacked fat guy in the final ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' episode.