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** "[[Film/FreeWilly FREE WIRRY!]]"


-->'''John:''' I had a guy in front of me go "How big is a Small?" ''[{{beat}}]'' It's ''small''. The Smalls are small, the Mediums are medium, the Larges are large. If you have to ask how small a Small is, you're not hungry enough yet, come back later. [[AC:Get outta the line!]]

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-->'''John:''' I had a guy in front of me go "How big is a Small?" ''[{{beat}}]'' It's ''small''. The Smalls are small, the Mediums are medium, the Larges are large. If you have to ask how small a Small is, you're not hungry enough yet, come back later. [[AC:Get '''''Get outta the line!]]line!'''''

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* HorribleCampingTrip: Hates hiking and camping, for various reasons (mostly being so out-of-shape and deprived of modern conveniences).

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* AlcoholInducedIdiocy: He makes really bad decisions when he drinks tequila.


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* SanitySlippage: When tricked into going hiking, he starts to go insane, culminating in him sinnging Gollum's fishing song when finally at their destination.

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* ShoutOut: When he gets held up in a line, he starts snarling in [[Franchise/StarWars Ewokese]].
** When hiking, he starts to think like [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Gollum]].
-->"They took away our Winnebago. That was my Precious!"


* ToiletHumor: While on an extended drive, John accidentally let a fart slip.

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* ToiletHumor: ToiletHumor:
**
While on an extended drive, John accidentally let a fart slip.slip.
** He also mentioned one time he was in England and was served beans and black coffee for breakfast, then given a bumpy cab ride to "get him all churned up." [[{{Fartillery}} He blew the doors off the taxi.]]


*** This bit him on the ass ''hard'' when he was able to take a trip to Italy. He relates how he knows how to say "Feed me, I'm starving" in multiple languages. At the restaurant in Italy, he busts out one... and the restaurateurs make ''damn'' sure he doesn't leave the table unsated (although from the way he described it, it seems that this is standard practice for restaurants in Italy).

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*** ** This bit him on the ass ''hard'' when he was able to take a trip to Italy. He relates how he knows how to say "Feed me, I'm starving" in multiple languages. At the restaurant in Italy, he busts out one... and the restaurateurs make ''damn'' sure he doesn't leave the table unsated (although from the way he described it, it seems that this is standard practice for restaurants in Italy).


'''John:''' Well, then I'll take it. Let me help you up.

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'''John:''' Well, then [[NiceToTheWaiter ....Well then, I'll take it. Let me help you up.]]


'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 April 5, 2014) was an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.

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'''John John Paul Pinette''' Pinette (March 23, 1964 April 5, 2014) was an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.


'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 April 5, 2014) an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.

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'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 April 5, 2014) was an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.



Pinette died of a pulmonary embolism at a hotel in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on April 5, 2014, just days after his 50th birthday.

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Pinette died of a pulmonary embolism at a hotel in Pittsburgh, UsefulNotes/{{Pittsburgh}}, Pennsylvania on April 5, 2014, just days after his 50th birthday.


French-Irish comedian (his stomach was Italian). His jokes centered on his life, his travels, and food. Especially food. Also a talented singer.

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French-Irish comedian (his stomach was Italian). His jokes centered on his life, health, food, his travels, food, society, [[OverlyLongGag and food. food.]] Especially food. Also a talented singer.


*** This bit him on the ass ''hard'' when he was able to take a trip to Italy. He relates how he knows how to say "Feed me, I'm starving" in multiple languages (including ancient ones, "[[CrazyPrepared just in case]]"). At the restaurant in Italy, he busts out one... and the restaurateurs make ''damn'' sure he doesn't leave the table unsated (although from the way he described it, it seems that this is standard practice for restaurants in Italy).

to:

*** This bit him on the ass ''hard'' when he was able to take a trip to Italy. He relates how he knows how to say "Feed me, I'm starving" in multiple languages (including ancient ones, "[[CrazyPrepared just in case]]").languages. At the restaurant in Italy, he busts out one... and the restaurateurs make ''damn'' sure he doesn't leave the table unsated (although from the way he described it, it seems that this is standard practice for restaurants in Italy).


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* CrazyPrepared: If what he said about knowing how to say "Feed me, I'm hungry" in more than two dozen languages is true, that's dedication. Even more so if he does indeed know the equivalent phrases from ancient, dead languages, which he says he does "just in case".


'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 April 5, 2014) an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.\\
French-Irish comedian (his stomach was Italian). His jokes centered on his life, his travels, and food. Especially food. Also a talented singer. And for all that, he was probably best known as the carjacked fat guy in the final ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' episode.

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'''John Paul Pinette''' (March 23, 1964 April 5, 2014) an American actor, Broadway performer, and stand-up comedian. He toured the comedy club circuit beginning in the 1980s and appeared in cinema and on television.\\
television.

French-Irish comedian (his stomach was Italian). His jokes centered on his life, his travels, and food. Especially food. Also a talented singer. singer.

...
And for all that, [[IAmNotSpock he was probably best known as the carjacked fat guy guy]] in the final ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' episode.
series finale of ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}''.



* BerserkButton: People who don't understand line etiquette.

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* BerserkButton: People who don't understand hold up food lines by taking too long to decide what to order (he notes that skinny people are particularly notorious offenders for this) or by being too chatty with the employees serving them (such as an old couple directly in front of him in line etiquette. for ribs at a rib festival who basically told their whole life story to the rib guy ''and then asked him to tell his'').
-->'''John:''' I had a guy in front of me go "How big is a Small?" ''[{{beat}}]'' It's ''small''. The Smalls are small, the Mediums are medium, the Larges are large. If you have to ask how small a Small is, you're not hungry enough yet, come back later. [[AC:Get outta the line!]]



** Also, in an Ewok like voice: "Get outa the line!" for those who hold up food lines with indecisive, or random banter.

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** Also, in an Ewok like Ewok-like voice: "Get outa outta the line!" for those who hold up food lines with indecisive, indecisiveness, or random banter.

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-->'''John:''' He looked like he'd seen a ghost. Nobody had ever said that to him before.

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* WrongRestaurant: Had a routine about deliberately invoking this trope. After [[RightOnQueue waiting in line for what seems like hours]] at an ice cream shop, getting angrier and angrier at everyone wasting time in front of him, he finally reaches the front of the line and decides to strike back. He orders an ice cream sundae with ''ham'' on it. "Oh, you don't have any ham? There's a supermarket next door. Go buy some."

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