Feedback on a Party of Characters

Basically 4 characters. They form a party in a my RP Gverse of Questoria. The whole universe is kind of a tongue in cheek version of RPGs in general, all glued together with Ruleof Cool. As such, don’t worry if some things are a little cheesy (Such as my knight using a magical guitar), as that’s how its meant to be.

Medieval Man
Real Name: Medieval Man is just a title, but he treats it like his real name anyways. His real name is unknown.
Description: Tall, relatively in shape. Has a rough, gravely voice. Everything else is unknown, as explained below.
Attire: Constantly dressed in a full suit of medieval knight armour. It is dented and dinged from years of questing, with an MM emblazoned on the right shoulder plate, and numerous leather pouches around the waist. It also sports a small red flag on top of the helmet. He never removes the armour because; “You never know when you need to head out on a quest. Or kill bandits.”
Powers and Abilities: Medieval Man has three main weapons, all of which never leave his person, much like his armour. First off is his longsword, Burnside. Burnside is actually just a simple longsword, but Medieval Man named it Burnside to make it sound more impressive. Secondly, is the F.A.R, a Steampunk styled rifle with numerous different types of ammo such as: THUD rounds, mercury and tungsten cored bullets that pack enough punch to knock an elephant over, Harlequin Rounds, bullets that contain a special RNA codon that rapidly changes the red blood cells of the target to C4, and Lucky Stars, which contain a powerful hallucinogen. Finally is his enchanted guitar, Skybloom. Skybloom allows medieval man to channel his magical ability through it in the form of face-melting solos.
Personality: Chaotic good, with a helping of Destructive Saviour. Basically, he believes that if he is going be slaying dragons and saving people, he’s going to be doing it “his way”. While some are happy to let him operate like this, others believe he is nothing more than a vigilante. His behaviour has lead to him being disliked in several areas. If a town has a tavern, you can expect to find him there. Also displays kleptomaniac tendencies, particularly if looting a cave.
Origin: Not much is known about Medieval Mans early life. What family he may have is never brought up in his conversations. He became the adventurer he is today when he learned of a legend that a great hero would rise to protect questoria. He decided that “he could do that”. So he created some custom armour and headed out to be not necessarily the savour that Questoria wants, but the one it gets.

Jim the Wizard
Real Name: Jim.
Description: Not very short, but the shortest member of the party, with a bushy white beard and blue eyes.
Attire: Jim wears a dark blue cloak, with a matching pointy wizard hat adorned with a single white star. Underneath he wears simple leather armour. Like Medieval Man, he has multiple leather pouches and satchels which hold his many magic scrolls and other items.
Powers and Abilities: A skilled wizard, Jim does most of his casting through his staff, but is still able to cast a multitude of spells with his hands alone. He is accomplished in most elemental spells, be it fire, electricity or ice, and has skills in healing and telekinesis. Also has access to dozens of other miscellaneous spells and tricks via his magic scrolls.
Personality: Neutral Good and general Nice Guy. In every way that Medieval Man is loud and obnoxious, Jim is shy and reserved, who tries to pick up the pieces left by some of his more brash team mates. Jim is often the voice of reason against some of Medieval Man’s more ridiculous and destructive ideas. Frightened of dark magic and necromancy and thusly stays away from it, due to the corruption he believes it can cause in individuals. Older brother of Azerdeth.
Origin: Being brothers with Azerdeth, they share a join origin. Read Azerdeth first and then read his origin to get both.

Azerdeth
Real Name: Azerdeth
Description: Taller than Jim, but not quite as tall as Medieval Man. Fairly muscular with a Lantern Jaw of Justice and Perma-Stubble. Constantly smoking.
Attire: Wears custom leather combat armour with a steel bowl helmet that droops over his eyes. Carries multiple grenades and ammo clips on his person.
Powers and Abilities: Guns, Guns, and more guns. The original creator of Medieval Man’s F.A.R, Azerdeth uses his own F.A.R which is extensively modified. He is also fights with some of his wilder contraptions such as grenades and steam punk turrets, as well as serving as repair man for the group.
Personality: Lawful Good Gadgeteer Genius, which does put him at odds with Medieval Man some times. Has a distrust of magic and is annoyed by his magical sounding name, compared to the relatively normal name of his older brother Jim.
Origin: Jim and Azerdeth were born from a Wizard mother and regular father. They originally believed that a person of magical descent and a regular human could not have magical children, and thusly named there first child Jim. When he began displaying magical ability, they were greatly surprised. When they had their next child, they expected him to have the same magical ability, and thusly named him the more wizardly sounding Azerdeth. He however showed zero magical ability, instead focusing on tinkering and building wild contraptions. Together they opened a store in the town of Ravenwood; Jims and Azerdeth’s Spells and Guns. When Medieval Man found his way to there store in his starting days of being Medieval Man, they decided to join him on his quests.

Oracle
Real Name: Unknown
Description: About as tall as Azerdeth.
Attire: Wears a black cloak with full hood and face mask, leaving only her eyes visible. Also has various bandage wrapping around her arms and legs. Carries several dozen daggers in holsters across her chest and waist.
Powers and Abilities: Oracle is just that, thusly has some prophetic powers. In addition, she is an accomplished assassin and thief, and is skilled with daggers and knifes. Knows some minor magical spells such as invisibility and short range teleportation.
Personality: True Neutral, Oracle is with the party to support and observe. She never speaks, instead communicating her intent through hand gestures and body language. She is also fairly reserved, being something of The Stoic.
Origin: Oracles are born and raised in a tower that is located in the middle of the Dark Macro Forest. As they display prophetic tendency’s, they learn how to interpret these prophecies and how they can use them. Every Oracle takes a vow of silence, for they believe that they should only speak in times of grave danger, when there knowledge is needed most. Another tradition of the Oracles is they must leave the tower and explore the world to gain experience and knowledge in order to better form their visions. It is because of this, Oracle met with Medieval Man, Jim and Azerdeth and is traveling with them.

edited 18th Nov '10 12:26:46 PM by TastySub

Sounds pretty good. I think you should swap some of the character traits with one another (for example, why not make the Seer a male and the gunslinger the woman). They're fine as they are, since they seem to be tongue-in-cheek, but I would find it interesting to see a bit of mix-and-matching.

^disagree with the genders

But I think you need a more rounded character for conversations. It doesn't seem to me like the group would flow without one. A character thats of a cornerstone to the group. Maybe even the main character. The story sounds pretty light and fun like a comic I could get into. But you need two romantically linked characters. In addition to that I wouldn't mind a funny secondary romance with the wizard very politely and subtly trying to get with the profit. I think it would be cool if it was pretty unrequited for a while that later grows. Sort of a hagrid/ that other giant chick sorta ship.

But other than that it sounds really cool. How's the progress and where/when can I read?

edited 19th Nov '10 3:42:59 AM by wellyea

I agree with Zeal. Maybe not a switch in genders is what's required, but the distribution of gender is painfully clichéd. To the point I'd probably not give the story a chance if that is the first thing I heard about it.

@King Zeal- Actually, funnily enough, In the very beginning when designing the characters, Oracle was male but not a main character, and Azerdeth was Jims sister. This got switched later in development due to having a female Oracle would be more clichéd, and I liked the brother dynamic or Jim and Azerdeth better.

@Wellyea - Although it doesn’t seem like it, the cornerstone is actually Medieval Man. He’s the reason the party is together and just because he dives headfirst into combat the first opportunity, doesn’t mean he cant sit down and talk with his friends. As for the romance, I thought about this; Medieval Man isn’t quite as a hit with the ladies as he’d like to be. and Azerdeth loves his machines more. The Jim and Oracle romance was actually considered, but I decided that being an Oracle, she doesn’t have those feelings, and Jim is too shy to express his. Perhaps in the future I might make something more of it, but that’s where its staying right now.

As for progress, there isn’t anything readable right now, but I plan to make some short stories. Perhaps I’ll update this thread once I get some readable material out. I have the world built, so now I'm just cleaning up the characters before starting.

@Mr AHR - The Clichéd characters is the point! The world is meant to be tongue in cheek, which is why Azerdeth, Jim and Oracle fall fairly neatly into the Fighter Mage Theif stereotype, with Medieval Man sort of encompassing all three. Perhaps some mixing up is in order however, so I’ll see what I can do.

edited 20th Nov '10 2:29:55 PM by TastySub

If it's supposed to be tongue in cheek, I am temporarily interested again, but that does not justify it necessarily, the same way Seltzer and friedberg movies being a parody do not make them good movies.

So, what do you plan on DOING with these characters?

@Mr AHR - A little background perhaps. Medieval Man was first created as a protagonist during my coding classes, when we were making adventure games. After using him a few times, I started to develop a world where all these little adventures took place. This eventually evolved into the world and characters that I have today. I hoped to use the world to create a full RPG/Adventure game, but unfortunately, never had the chance (In class.) I do hope to create said game in the future, but I didn’t want to just leave all these characters and settings sitting in the back of my mind in the meantime.

So, I’m going to write some short stories featuring the characters and there adventures, which will help showcase the world, allow me to use some of these ideas, and hopefully be fun to read.

Call me AHR.

So, is it going to be a parody, or serious?

A mixture of both. The world itself is a parody, but the story will be serious (But not without funny moments.)

So..Semi-Serious stories in a Parody world. If that makes even a modicum of sense.

All right. I still am a bit iffish, because it seems like it's still not enough justification for the stereotypicalness, tongue in cheek or not.

I hope I can win you over then.

Also, I'm updating as I've completed a few chapters of the story. I changed the format a little; instead of a bunch of short stories, I'm going with a single long one, telling the origin or Medieval Man and his crew. Not posting anything yet however, as I want to make a dent in the story first, so I can stay on an update schedule.

I’m going to try and add a few more character profiles for feedback shortly as well.