RANTS FOR THE RANTS GOD! Let's read/MST "War Games and Death Toys":

Total posts: [12]
Introduction: War Games and Death Toys is what the author considers an "article" and what most people consider "inane rambling" on the topic of the Space Marines of Warhammer 40000. However, unlike the usual people who make inane, poorly-researched rants about games, this person seems not to be a religious fundamentalist, but either some insane Conspiracy Theorist or a Troll trying to satire the Dungeons and Dragons moral panic, and possibly moral panics in general.  1. The essential gist of the "article" is that Games Workshop is trying to indoctorinate children to become fanatically indoctorinated killers using the Space Marines. What end is Games Workshop trying to achieve by indoctorinating children? What of the other factions in Warhammer 40000? Are the absurdly high prices Games Workshop prices its miniatures merely an attempt to get funding for the weapons needed for Games Workshop's world domination plans? We'll just have to read on and find out.

edited 13th Nov '10 10:24:17 AM by SantosL.Halper


The rant begins with the sentence
"The Space Marines come equipped with all of the latest sneaky back-door techniques of conditioning children to accept war and total obedience to authority, complete with telling them to extract pride from doing so and to see themselves as superior beings with the unquestionable right to kill, on command."

What. It then continues on about how it does so in a way that it goes under the radar of parents. We can gleam that from this sentence that the author of this is opposed to totalitarianism. We can even extrapolate and speculate that the author of this is opposed to authorityi in general, and is possibly an Anarchist. It is also fairly obvious that this person is a pacifist.

It then continues to say that they'll brainwash your child into believing genetic modification is good because genetic modification is the first step to being superhuman. We can see that the author of this tract does not believe in genetic modification. Whether s/he is aware of the benefits of genetic modification (See for example Golden rice, which is helping to combat Vitamin A deficiency in Asia) or not is a moot point and will not be adressed here. S/he also does not seem to be aware of the fact that the "Genetic Modification" of a Space Marine involves what is for all intents and purposes surgery. We now move onto the next paragraph:

The next paragraph reveals the author's believe in conspiracy theories and anti-Freemasonry. S/he goes on to rant about how there are "occult and new world order references":

"They abound and if you peruse the page you'll find it chock full of nifty, or is it creepy, predictive programming and even tactics to go street by street in a town near you murdering every person you can find. This will make your child a hero."

I, and possibly you, am/are probably beginning to doubt the author's sanity. S/he uses Grand Master Azrael (who s/he somehow connects with Israel  2) of the Dark Angels, "codex" description sounds like something out of a high mason's ceremony." I have only really skimmed the Dark Angel codex, but I STRONGLY doubt it sounds very masonic at all. S/he then mentions Lucius the Eternal, who just happens to be a TRAITOR Marine. S/he concludes with the mention of the Ordo Malleus, Horus, and "of futuristic looking creepy nazi-like thugs that bear an amazing resemblance to the futuristic looking creepy nazi-like thugs depicted at the Denver airport in the infamous creepy as hell mural on their walls."

The liveblog shall continue when my skull fractures heal and my wall is repaired.

edited 13th Nov '10 10:24:48 AM by SantosL.Halper

3 snowbull14th Nov 2010 06:29:32 AM from outer layers of The City
IJBM Refugee
Oh man, I've been trying to find this for months. Thank you, comrade!

This should win an award for most mundane conspiracy ever.
So, W40K is for children now? The setting that defined Grimdark... yeah. With a premise like that, I really can't see this going badly at all, no sire evil grin

edited 14th Nov '10 6:41:56 AM by slowzombie

5 snowbull14th Nov 2010 08:32:50 AM from outer layers of The City
IJBM Refugee
This has to be the least efficient conspiracy ever, as well. At least its easily deniable.
The Lunatic in Your Hall
So does the author think the modern teenager has access to power armor and bolt guns?

Because from what I know of 40K, the "killing methods" described don't really work without forty-first millennium tech.
I haven't known true fear in a very, very long time.
7 Nomic15th Nov 2010 12:59:44 PM from beyond the Void
Exitus Acta Probat
Dark Angels do have the whole secret society feel going on, being extremely secretive and having an inner circle that only the most trustworthy members of the chapter are initiated in, where they learn about the dark secrets of their past. Not familiar with Masonic stuff so dunno how well that matches their stuff. My quess is not very well.
8 SantosLHalper20th Nov 2010 04:53:29 PM from The Canterlot of the North
Gentlecolt and Bard
Well it's that time of the week again, where I attempt to liveblog this horrible mess. I've been dreading this day all week long, but due to my perception of time, today has come fast as Saturdays generally do. Today it seems we are going through the Author's skewed perception of the Warhammer 40000 Fluff. This will probably be the worst part of the "article", since the fluff is probably my favorite part of Warhammer 40000. However, I shall persevere onwards in the hope that the worst part of this will be over. Since I am familiar with the fluff, I shall be doing this part as an MST. And thus, without further adue:

PARTE DUO: In which the Author tells us about the Space Marines and thereby takes out of context/misinterprets/outright fabricates the fluff]

Thought of the day: Things aren't always what they seem.

What is not explained, is what is so good about having unwavering faith in the Emperor? Why would anyone want to do that? What's so hot about the Emperor that you'd give up your own one-time-only life, as a unique irreplaceable human being, and instead of exploring the world and enjoying life you shut off your brain and become the extension of somebody else's will.[/quoteblock]]

Because if you don't have "unwavering faith", you'll likely fall prey to Chaos and become a corrupted Eldritch Abomination? If you actually attempted to look further and explore the fluff, you would find the answer to this question.

[[quoteblock]]The Emperor doesn't seem to do much for you but you sure are expected to be mutilated, suffer, and die to make him happy. And is he dead or what? If he's entombed that would mean he's dead as a doornail, right? So, how can he be happy about anything you do, or even give orders to anyone? Are you worshipping the dead now? Is that something you'd really want to do? Because it sounds freaking creepy to me.

The EMPRAH is the guy powering the Astronomicon, which is essentially the only thing allowing interstellar travel. If the Emperor were to die, then the entire Imperium would collapse and the galaxy would be consumed by Chaos. Also, the Romans deified their Emperors upon death, and many people around the world (East Asia for example) venerate their ancestors in rememberence of their deeds in life (in the Emperor's case, bringing Humanity back from barbarism and uniting the Galaxy under one flag).

Being willing to kill and die on command is sort of retarded, isn't it? Shouldn't there be a really good reason to engage in deadly violence? Is the word of "some guy" with a fancy hair do and a big hat enough to make you go kill somebody? Who is he anyway, and what makes him so flaming great? If he wants people killed why doesn't he go do it himself?

Because if people didn't go kill and die on command they would be killed by:

Those are very good reasons, aren't they? All of this is smelling of someone who just looked at the Games Workshop article of Space Marines and just assumed that the [[color:red:Astartes]] were big, bad SPESS MUHREENZ who just went out and terrorised the happy, pacifist population of the galaxy in the name of their evil, dog-kicking EMPRAH who sits atop a pile of skulls and drinks the blood of the innocent from a goblet . I'm beginning to move away from the soul-crushing despair I felt last week and more to amusement at the Author's lack of fluff knowledge. Incidentally, the tag line is "In the grim darkness of the far future, there exists ONLY WAR. How the Warp can you miss that?

These and many more questions abound, but unfortunately are not even alluded to when kids look at this stuff. Sucked in by cool graphics and continuously injected with bizarre ideation and glamorization of death, killing and destruction, and the strange assertion that it is perfectly normal to have unquestioning obedience to who ever has the tallest hat, kids will not be given an equal opportunity to learn how to question such obvious mind control techniques.

Incidentally, it seems that YOU are the when that didn't even look at the fluff and and jumped to conclusions. Also, if W H40k is targeted to kids, then how can you explain the fact that you would consider to be the Periphery Demographic consists of probably >75% of customers?

Everything about being a killer on command who is loyal is right here. The very idea would not ever occur to a child on his own. This must be injected, repeated, and glamorized and it is. It's been done to every last one of us. What easier way to assure obedient, authority driven selfless drones who will go die for no reason, because they never ask for a reason.


Tune in next week for the next installment of WAR GAMES AND DEATH TOYS! In the meantime, I think I'll be doing a Gaunt's Ghosts liveblog, just to get rid of the taint of this liveblogging.

An afternote: a keyword search on the article yields no results for "Imperial Guard", "Ork", "Eldar, "Chaos", "Necron", "Tau", "Inquisition", or "Sister[s of Battle]" which leads me to assume that the Author is not even aware of the other Warhammer 40000 factions. How can one be absolutely unaware of the Warhammer 40000 background even though this person has visited the Games Workshop Website?

edited 21st Nov '10 8:55:49 AM by SantosLHalper

9 Nomic21st Nov 2010 01:38:32 AM from beyond the Void
Exitus Acta Probat
These days Warhammer/40k is mostly marketed for around 12 year olds. They designes have even flat out stated that their main goal is selling little plastic men to kids.

WMG: The articl has been written by an agent of Chaos, attempting to weaken our faith in the Emperor. He uses pretty much the same rethorics: the Emperor is dead, He does not care about you, and you get nothing for sacrificing you'r life for Him. The Chaos Gods allow you to do whatever you desire, no matter how horrifying, and they reward you for your servitude. "I killed thousands for the Emperor and received only His damning silence. Now His lapdogs yap at every life I take and the Gods promise me the Galaxy. Glory for the great Gods of Chaos!"
10 SantosLHalper21st Nov 2010 03:03:32 AM from The Canterlot of the North
Gentlecolt and Bard
That WMG makes a disturbing amount of sense. Should the Ordo Hereticus be informed?

edited 21st Nov '10 3:03:39 AM by SantosLHalper

The Lunatic in Your Hall
@Nomic: So be it as it may, but given the prices, the content, and the general level at which everything is aimed, saying that they're trying to sell "plastic men to kids" is basically just what they're telling the marketing department. EVERY game is aimed at kids, but everyone understands who really has the money and who really buys this stuff.
I haven't known true fear in a very, very long time.
12 SantosLHalper27th Nov 2010 07:20:00 PM from The Canterlot of the North
Gentlecolt and Bard
Incidentally, it seems that the Author of the page has taken down this article. A shame, relief, as I expected much humour from this liveblog. An examination of the main page seems to show that this site has become a link site for strange, conspiratorial movie on the internet. Why did the Author take this down? Perhaps s/he discovered this page and realised his/her idiocy? Probably not. If anything, it was probably because it didn't fit the site's new 'theme'. Thus the article and the liveblogging meets its inglorious end. I think I'll start the Gaunt's Ghosts liveblog next week, if ever.

edited 27th Nov '10 7:25:31 PM by SantosLHalper

The system doesn't know you right now, so no post button for you.
You need to Get Known to get one of those.

Total posts: 12