Help with a Mons story

Sure, I know that. The protagonist gets a Mon they're not so excited about.

Do you have any thoughts on the ideas I posted?

Creator of Heroes of Thantopolis: http://heroesofthantopolis.com/

VUNDERBAR!

I'll have to look out for the book!

That's very nice! But I meant more like constructive criticism, like which of the two ideas from each big question you liked better? Or could you help me think of a fifth class to round out the other four I've already come up with? Something that fits in with the previously made classes - Fighter, Artist, Explorer and Dreamer?

Creator of Heroes of Thantopolis: http://heroesofthantopolis.com/

Hmmm...how about Healer?

And as for the other question, I'd say go with the Mirror World and Type first (with the Sun/Moon/Earth/Star/Space theme).

Another Troper with a Mons-esque story idea here, who is willing to do his best at lending a hand.

But first... You're classes seem to lack the under appreciated support class. So I'd go for Healer, or a more generalized class name to accommodate various support tasks, such as Scholar.

I would go either way with element-type nomenclature; Sun Warrior such-and-such sounds pretty badass. But so does Warrior of the Sun such-and-such.

A few ideas I'd like to kick around would be having the Vanguardians Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence when sealing away the great evil, and say become constellations or something. That way, you get the space theme without aliens.

As for the villains (and perhaps a means of connecting Vanguardian and human), perhaps the mirror shatters, allowing the eldritch foe to once again influence the world. The fragments of the mirror could be incorporated into stuff to act as the primary means of connection between human and Vanguardian.

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My Mons idea revolves around coordinator-automaton pairs in a Gaslamp Fantasy setting, where a coordinator works on cultivating an automaton from a lowly standardized grunt mannequin to a force to be reckoned with that can act on it's own, and even train automatons of its own.

While the setting and everything is in its infancy, here is a few things I've got:

• Automatons were originally created primarily for the military. As such, they are generally combat oriented.
• Automatons are magic powered machines that run on Aether. Each automaton contains at least one Aether producing crystal.
• There are currently three levels of Aether crystals:
  • Aether seed: small, produces unrefined Aether, nothing to write home about.
  • Aether core: A round crystal orb, produces refine Aether attuned to a specific element.
  • Aether star: A multi-faceted gem, produces highly refined Aether in one-two elements.
• Crystal level determines the variety of upgrades, enhancements, and equipment that an automaton can use.
• The setting, Aria, has an element system consisting of 10 elements: air, fire, earth, water, lightning, metal, nature, ice, light, and dark. Elemental interactions are a WIP.
• In addition to crystal level and element, the automatons generally specialized into various roles. The different base types (subject to change and expansion) include: Glaive(melee offense oriented), Defender, Gunner(ranged offense), Lancer(mixed offense), Micromaton(tiny automaton piloting a Mini-Mecha).
• Coordinators generally serve as instructors, caretakers, mechanics, and supporters to their automaton(s). The interaction between coordinator and automaton promotes the growth of the automaton's Aether crystal.
• Coordinators are generally chosen from exceptionally talented magic users, military recruits, or... rich kids. Lots and lots of rich kids. Maintaining and upgrading and automaton is expensive after all.

edited 15th Jul '17 12:15:13 PM by WillDeRegio

Ooooohhhh...me likes!

Another (hopeful) book to look out for!

edited 15th Jul '17 12:23:46 PM by fruitstripegum

I suppose I'll contribute my two cents as well, because I've had a Mon story (Tales Of Mystrica) in the works that I've been planning and developing for over a decade. It actually originated as a Pokemon fanfic and a Digimon fanfic that I ended up fusing together, so there's that. And since it did, the story takes place in a digital world (like the one in Digimon), but is more modeled after a Pokemon region, in that there are various themed towns scattered around a single continent (except for a single Space Zone). Mons are like Digimon in that they can talk and their Keepers don't typically try to catch 'em all (they have three at the max), but like Pokemon in the naming and element system. They're also organized into Classes depending on what type of creature they are (Beast, Bug, Ghost, Machine, etc.), and have a variety of special techniques they can use.

So overall the setup is more like a video game, and in fact the main characters end up in the world of Mystrica when the entire place is sealed off from the real world, and they end up as The Chosen Many to stop The Syndicate from carrying out a Hijacking Cthulhu plot involving the local Olympus Mons (y'know, like every Pokemon game ever). Besides Mystripets (the mons), there are also ordinary enemies (Mooks, basically, like in every other JRPG ever) and robots to fight, as well as special bosses that the protagonists must defeat to gather enough power to face the Big Bad.

I myself am a bit worried about the system being too complicated, especially since there are Loads And Loads Of Characters thanks to there being eleven protagonists, all of whom have three Mystripets; a mentor who has a friendly robot as a pet; two antagonists with their own Mons; and each of the fifteen-ish towns has a mayor that's their own character. That plus the intricate battle system, large numbers of different creatures, and such.

One thing, therefore, that I think can work with a Mon story is to have it set in its own world like that... but even if you don't go for that, one thing to really think about is what the Mons are fighting against. Do the villains also have Mons? And the goal they have could even help determine what types of Mons are present. Mon stories tend to be very action-focused, so also thinking about your basic mooks, major bosses, etc. would be a good idea. I think honestly there's a lot of world-building to making a good Mon story, as they work well when there's a well-established and consistent system in place... so I'd say work on that first, then figure out your enemies, and if you have a story in mind already, keep that in mind while developing everything in the meanwhile.

Come, my child of the devil. Your mother is calling you. Hear my call in Hell's grand hall, where all our dreams come true.

Well, I was thinking the story would mostly be Slice of Life, but there'd be some kind of annual tournament where owners of the Mons could battle each other for the big cash prize.

Hey thanks for taking a look at my idea and offering up suggestions! I really liked what you had to say.

I think I'm going to go with this class system: Warrior, Artist, Scholar, Healer and Dreamer, with the overall stat spread being like this:

• Warriors are phonically strong with balanced speed and defense, but poor magic ability.
• Artists are the magic version of Warriors, having strong magic skills and balanced speed and defense but poor physical strength.
• Scholars are defense focused, often with good magic ability that involves long-range attacks, but they're slow
• Healers are bulky and fast, but they're not attackers - they're best at taking hits and tiring the enemy out. Both their magic and physical powers are very poor.
• Dreamers are straight up Glass Cannon s, being very fast and very strong in either magic or physical attack but with no defenses - basically going down in one hit especially at low levels.

Sun Warrior does sound really cool and I think I'll use that nomenclature, thanks!

I like the idea of the mirror shattering - that gives an impetus to the plot. They're seeking human help to stop the Eldritch foe from breaking through again... but the the climax would be it breaks through into the Human world and the Vanguardians and their Matched have to fight it and in the end like you said Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence to protect the galaxy from all Eldritch beings. The Mirror World would be destroyed in the process.

My current idea for the device of sorts is a Mirror Ring, an expandable ring that is mirrored on the inside. Anyone with a Mirror Ring can see Vanguardians in reflections, and the Ring expands to draw them into our world and to evolve them. Matched humans have to get creative finding surfaces and objects to carry around with mirrors, but they can always hear their Vanguardian through the ring.

My last new-ish idea is that there are split evolution lines, and each Vanguardian usually has two evolution lines. Maybe even more! That way I can explore multiple themes for each creature design without getting redundant. I'm thinking Vester's alternate 2-star form is a straight up entertainment figure, eventually evolving into the embodiment of a carvinal, whereas Valentine's split is "Modern Beauty" (the names already posted) and "Classical Beauty" who eventually evolves into a form called Vuliette. Often times these branching evolutions take on other Classes but usually have the same element.

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As for my feedback on your idea, I really like it! I feel like a Steampunk Mons idea is really solid and makes a good first impression.

Here's my questions:

- What do the Automatons look like? Are they like gunky steamy machines or are they more sleek? Do they look like mechanical equipment or do they have more fantastical forms?

- They recruit kids to help train the Automatons, so is there a war afoot and against who?

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I've done a lot of Mon stories in the past, but my idea for this one is to make it a real send-up of Shonen style Mons except with themes that are more relevant to me, like self-actualization. I've got a faint idea of pitching this to a site I'm already on as a graphic novel of sorts, ie. the story is mostly in writing but there will be illustrations of the characters and evolutions since describing that kind of change in writing is really dull, IMO!!

There will definitely be rivals working against our Protagonists, but they're probably not working directly for the Big Bad / Eldritch foe. They just act as antagonists and my guess is that they're harnessing Vanguardian power without knowing what it is really. Or something! I'll figure it out! I know I will, that's what I'm good at.

Creator of Heroes of Thantopolis: http://heroesofthantopolis.com/

Thank you! Though, I'm thinking that the setting is more leaning towards Diesel Punk, rather than Steampunk.

I'm planning that the most common model will be humanoid, and specifically a clunky suit of armor, a holdover from the early days of automaton making, albeit with a art nouveau guilded chrome finish. Upgrades, both aesthetically and practically, are at the coordinator and/or automaton's discretion, resulting in practically every top-tier automaton being an Ace Custom.

Some opt for more animalistic designs, such as insects, dogs, and even wyverns.

As for the (rather small) class of candidates, they're all at least 16 or 17, most of them being older. Half the class expected to be automatically made into Soldiers at the Rear; they were extraordinarily mistaken.

I'm thinking that these cadets will go through training as a result of Cadia's militarization update after the Mass "Oh, Crap!" moment caused by the formation of the Balamar Empire.

edited 15th Jul '17 8:10:44 PM by WillDeRegio

Ah I got it! For me Mons are always animal like so making the Automatons more humanoid is a cool twist.

I'm trying to think of characters first before I start designing more Vanguardians (although I know Vester is going to be one of the main ones since I love him.) True to Digimon/Pokemon stories I'm likely going to have the characters be children, maybe middle schoolers... but I really disliked middle school so maybe having them be highschoolers might make more sense, now that I'm writing this down. (It's funny how writing stuff down really brings clarity.) But they'd be Freshman/9th graders. I think the ensemble will be four girls and one boy because I think my audience for this story will be mostly girls.

My idea for the Leader character is a girl who is Lawful Good to the extreme, in that people don't trust her as a friend because she'll always choose justice and the law over her friends. She's a tattler. But then, maybe that's kinda a silly character? I really need to write out more of my ideas so they don't come out sounding kinda silly.

Previously decided is Vester's Matched, an autistic girl who hasn't really figured out how she's different from the majority NT girls at school, but knows she is. Vester represents a willingness to subvert the status-quo, and she learns to love herself despite the world telling her "you aren't worthy." I'd have her be the main character since she's the only one I've come up with so far and yet... mmm... I dunno. Maybe she would be a good leader since she is more likely to run into an interesting situation than listen to reason and stay back.

And how they meet, well they're all classmates and my idea is that something goes wrong on a field trip and that's where they get the Call to Adventure.

Creator of Heroes of Thantopolis: http://heroesofthantopolis.com/

Well, I wouldn't call the Mons being humanoid a TWIST, per say

After all, the Meda Bots are humanoid robots.

Good news! I've talked with one of my friends and they helped me brainstorm ideas for the human characters, so I'm very excited! And I feel fulfilled too.

Now I'm working on concepts for their partner Mons, which I'm running into some trouble with, but I've started work on designing and conceptualizing one line that I like a lot. It's a Space Healer themed after a nurse who heals using sleep. I'm not sure what the basic level will be called - Vurse seems too on-the-nose. But the 2 star level is Vanesthesia, the 3 star is Vwilight and the 4 star is Vypnos.

Creator of Heroes of Thantopolis: http://heroesofthantopolis.com/

Hmmm...how about Vulten for the basic level?

edited 17th Jul '17 12:05:18 PM by fruitstripegum

What does it derive from?

Creator of Heroes of Thantopolis: http://heroesofthantopolis.com/

Well...nothing. I just thought it sounded cool.

Ah ok XP

Well the Vanguardians have a specific naming system so I'm looking for words that could work besides nurse, with a v added or substituted. Maybe I'll go look up stuff in the thesaurus

EDIT: later in the day

Here's a drawing of the previously mentioned design! http://strontiumsun.tumblr.com/post/163112357148/more-vanguardians-yep-im-still-working-on-this

edited 17th Jul '17 4:33:59 PM by Strontiumsun

Creator of Heroes of Thantopolis: http://heroesofthantopolis.com/

impressive!

Makes me wish I could draw like you.

Thank you! Well it takes time to learn, I'll admit. But it's most important to learn how to draw your way, you know?

Creator of Heroes of Thantopolis: http://heroesofthantopolis.com/

Hey guys! I've come up with an idea for a plot!

OK, so the hero's family is kind of poor (which is why they get a less-than-impressive Mon), then their mother falls ill, and they decide to enter the grand tournament in order to win the big cash prize and pay for the medical bills.

So, what do we think?

edited 20th Jul '17 5:48:45 AM by fruitstripegum

Sounds good! Would make a good motivation for the characters to train their Mons so they stand a good chance in the tournament

While I'm here, I guess I'll admit that I've been thinking of a Mon story myself, which I want to share could use some help with. I'll give details for what I have in mind in a separate post, if you guys are interested in hearing it, but I will say that my Mon story, called "Kaotic Kreatures" for now, takes place in a Science Fantasy world, where magic and high technology co-exist and humans aren't the only sapient species (right now I've got the generic dwarves and elves in mind as the two other races but I got a third one in mind which are essentially animal people, with the titular "Kreatures" being the Mons these races tame (Kreatures themselves being the wildlife of the world, with a few exceptions)

edited 8th Aug '17 5:58:28 AM by KaoticKanine