The Saddest Sad Machine
Alright...
- Name: Greta Schulz
- Age: 35
- Appearance: File photo from previous place of employment.
- Personality: Greta takes life rather seriously. She is a very organizational person, and wants everything in its place, no ifs ands or buts. She is a composed person, who will only start to get excited over artifacts she deems interesting enough. Otgerwise, a placid, almost cold, air is her only emotion.
- Equipment: She always has a book or two on hand. Greta will adamantly refuse to have cell phones/smartphones.
- Skills: Greta is a very book smart lady. She isn't out of shape, but her wardrobe (pencil skirts and blouses) leave her slowed to a fast walk, because heels and skirts are making twisted ankles an accident waiting to happen.
- Bio: Greta had 0 contact with any artifacts until her 19th birthday. She was at work, shelving books at the library. A bewildered Greta picked up a book she didn't recognize, that certainly wasn't in stock. Opening it up, the short novel (labeled AIA) revealed a regular story. Except that it was ''An Imperial
- Artifact:
- Name: An Imperial Affliction
- Universe of Origin: The Fault in our Stars
- Apperance: A regular book, with a rose red cover. The last few pages are left blank, corresponding with the words of Hazel Grace.
- Category: Normal
- Powers: Upon further inspection, the story stays the same, but different words are used. Some nonsense, cryptic passages are also inserted. This should be considered anomalous.
- History: Artifact appeared on the stacks of library in [REDACTED], Germany. Agent Schulz retrieved, and it was sent immediately to a low security part of the warehouse.
edited 13th Aug '13 7:25:42 PM by mrminun
Uh
Deranged X-Mas Figure
Interested.
Just give me time to put up a Sign-up.
The Gorgon
Same. :3
Time grows thin, the past's a riddle; The Tower awaits you in the middle.
The Gorgon
Are our characters allowed to find multiple artifacts? I have some in mind, like a set of Adeptas Sororitas power armor, Dooku's lightsaber and Glamdring.
Time grows thin, the past's a riddle; The Tower awaits you in the middle.
huzzaaaaaaaah
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Sure? I'll have to see your sheet first.
Just telling ya: you don't need to make a sheet for a character and an artifact. You can just make one for a character. But if your character's backstory mentions an artifact, then do make a sheet for it.
The Saddest Sad Machine
But does Greta get the pass?
Uh
The Gorgon
- Name: Cesarina Ashworth
- Age: 28
- Appearance: A 5'8 woman with shoulder-length brunette hair that has strawberry-blonde streaks running through it and has grey-green eyes. Has a tiny scar under her left eye from a sparring session.
- Personality: Very somber and duty-bound, preferring to keep to herself when not out on artifact-collecting missions. Always puts the mission first, regardless of her friendships. Her attitude towards missions has earned her the moderate enmity of her fellow artifact collectors.
- Equipment: In addition to the standard-issue gear, she wears a longsword on her hip, in case if diplomacy and her gun fail her.
- Skills: Is a decent swordswoman, having used her sword more than once in certain...disputes in the past.
- Bio: Was recruited to the Bureau when she was 21 after stumbling across Count Dooku's lightsaber in [CLASSIFIED] and was interrogated at length before being offered a position to retrieve similar artifacts. Proceeded to prove herself by running missions to pick up artifacts that were spotted in various locations around North America and made her way up a few ranks over the course of her 7 years with the bureau.
- Other: Enjoys a good glass of scotch and old records.
- Case File #5250
- Name: Adepta Sororitas Power Armor
- Universe of Origin: Warhammer 40,000
- Appearance: Power Armor
- Category: Power Granting
- Powers: Increases the mobility and agility of the wearer. Also, it increases the amount of weight that the wearer can handle, making it suitable for heavy combat roles.
- History: A wormhole opened 30 feet above [CLASSIFIED], spitting out an empty suit of power armor and Agent Ashworth was sent to retrieve the item before any curio collectors decided to take it for themselves. Agent Ashworth's mission was successful and she brought it back to the warehouse for storage.
Case File # 5535
- Name: Glamdring
- Universe of Origin: Lord of the Rings
- Appearance: Glamdring◊
- Category: Normal Artifact
- Powers: Doesn't really have any notable powers.
- History: A farmer in [CLASSIFIED] dug up the sword by accident while planting crops and posted the news of his find on the Internet, prompting several dozen fanboys/girls to descend on the site. Agent Ashworth was tasked with retrieving the sword and making sure that none of the people there would take the sword with them. Agent Ashworth was partially successful, in that she managed to retrieve the sword, but one of the girls had made off with the sword before Agent Ashworth got there, forcing Agent Ashworth to go to the girl's house in [CLASSIFIED] and take it from her.
- Name: Count Dooku's Lightsaber
- Universe of Origin: Star Wars
- Appearance: Dooku◊
- Category: Normal Artifact
- Powers: Has the ability to cut through any normal material.
- History: Blinked into existence a foot above the ground in [CLASSIFIED] around 9 years ago. A farmer spotted the strange weapon and took it home to show off to his family. Word got around of the strange weapon and eventually Cesarina heard about it and stole the item from the farmer, attracting the attention of the Bureau, who interrogated her at length before hiring her.
edited 20th Aug '13 9:57:42 AM by SixthSaint
Time grows thin, the past's a riddle; The Tower awaits you in the middle.
Posting a reservation spot, will post an actual signup tomorrow, etc. etc.
huzzaaaaaaaah
@mrminum: Both are OK, but... can you re-upload the image to a different site? Safebooru hates me. And one thing: if she's from Germany, how did she get into the North American Bureau? You could say she was transferred.
@Sixth Saint: Okay, a few things. First, buff up that Personality section. Two, your character works for the American Bureau, which means she couldn't have gone on missions around the world- the only stuff the American Bureau would send her after is the stuff that landed in the US/Canada. Third, "Also, it increases the amount of". Of?... Apart from that, I'm fine with it.
edited 13th Aug '13 8:27:30 PM by Stratofarius
Maid of Time
Interested...
i think i mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart
I'll post a sign up soon
If you are looking for a prize in the box, their is none. Only more cardboard.
The Gorgon
I fixed the mistakes, Strato.
Time grows thin, the past's a riddle; The Tower awaits you in the middle.
I'm interested, but a tad confused.
Judging from what you've just said to Saint, we'd all be working for the North American Bureau (so the US, Canada, Mexico, and all the little countries in Central America and the Carribean?). Does that mean the only artifacts that can be claimed by our team must appear on North American soil? And what about origin? Were the objects that appear in North America dreamed up in North America? For example, since quiddich seekers and the TARDIS were created by the English, does that mean they'll never appear over in America?
Sorry if this sounds nitpicky. I just want to make sure I've got the right idea.
huzzaaaaaaaah
Good questions.
What I meant by North America was just the US, and by some extension, Canada. I was just going to call it "the American Bureau", but technically, I'm American, and I'm from Brazil, so it kinda got a little mangled up. So I'll refer to it by "the American Bureau", and it should only cover the US. Sorry.
As for the whole claiming artifacts thing, this is the way it works: if Artifact X shows up in France, it will stay in the French Bureau's Warehouse. However, this doesn't mean that agents from the American Bureau can't work on international cases. If Artifact X has some relation with Artifact Y, a dangerous artifact that was collected by the American Agents, then they could be called in to help. However, that's extremely rare, and doesn't happen that much, which is why I asked Sixth Saint to change his sheet. International missions happen, like, once every five years.
The origin of the artifact doesn't matter. The TARDIS, for example, might appear on India, Sudan or Peru.
@Sixth Saint: Accepted.
edited 13th Aug '13 8:26:18 PM by Stratofarius
Wonderful! I'll have a character sheet (and an artifact) up tomorrow! 
Reading tropes such as You Know What You Did
Let's see...
- Name: Carlita Francesca
- Age: 51, born September 28th 1962.
- Appearance: Five foot eleven inches, short copper hair, dark skin, brown eyes, and a pug nose that complements her round babyface. She was slightly overweight but when she found out exactly how important the job she was assign would be she gave up drinking, got serious about exercise and added twenty years to her life.
- Personality: Carlita is a charming, friendly, funny woman who is guilty of making inappropriate comments at times. She is someone who very rarely becomes angry, perhaps the only time she was seen to was in confronting the terrorists who killed her son. She has an Achilles' Heel, or toe rather, having arthritis in the toe that flares up occasionally and she is too stubborn to take medication to ward off the chances of an attack.
Carlita is fairly intelligent, however she is completely computer illiterate and has to rely on those she works with for even the most basic of tasks. However as long as it's not computer related she will do just about anything for just about anyone. If someone needed help then she would give it with no, or few, complaints. However this was a double edged sword, if someone else asked where someone who bent the rules was she would divulge the information, so there was always a danger of her helping go outside normal channels.
Tropes associated with Carlita
- Action Girl: Ex army and instructorcross trainer. Even in the past few years when she was pushing fifty she got into Mixed Martial Arts and became fitter than she had in years, and before joining the Bureau intended to go to India to hunt down those behind the much publicized rape attacks there.
- Anti-Hero - Classical Anti-Hero: Carlita flip flops between the two, going from thinking ruthlessly, and being uncomfortable with what she does.
- Bad Liar: She cannot lie. At all. Hence why she spills the beans on those who go outside the rules or go behind people's backs and want her to cover for them.
- Beware the Nice Ones
- Brilliant, but Lazy: As well as her credentials of training police and army services, she’s an accomplished artist and musician, but would much rather drink and run a nightclub.
- Closet Geek: Spider Man and films in particular.
- Covert Pervert: Slides towards Dirty Old Woman at times, Carlita can be utterly filthy but she's more covert about it.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: Subverted, she is genuinely harsh and tough in training soldiers but never comes across like this when teaching hostage rescue, and sees even verbal abuse as worse than pointless.
- Drives Like Crazy: An absolute maniac behind the wheel.
- Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: She got the nickname Sledgehammer after threatening someone she was interrogating with one. She had also used a fire ax and guns.
- Lawful Neutral: Genuinely a good person, but knows she has to act within the law.
- Married to the Job: What Carlita feared was the cause of her failed relationships.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: See Drill Sergeant Nasty.
- Torture Technician: Carlita has this reputation and she is certainly knowledgeable, but this is more image than anything else she would do.
- Weapon Of Choice: A Heckler & Kock MP 5/SDS. It has an integral silencer and Carlita adds on every add on she can, scope, laser sight, drum magazine, flashlight, whatever can be used.
- Equipment: Handgun (Carlita likes the Smith & Wesson .500 magnum revolver, but uses the more practical S&W Military & Police semiautomatic at the suggestion of her Commanding Officer in Iraq,) a badge, an ID card used to getting in and out of the Bureau, and the aforementioned MP 5.
- Skills: Can she cook? No, not really. Worse is she think she can cook well enough for a bar. Can she shoot? She is an excellent shot, perhaps the best example is when she was in the Khyber Pass and a member of Al Qaeda that had been taken alive escaped custody, on instinct Carlita fired once and hit him right between the eyes. Can she do the hokey-pokey? Ask her when she's drunk enough.
Aside from that Carlita is a skilled driver, pilot, she is fairly intelligent and a good teacher as demonstrated when she taught SWAT tactics to first the army and then the FBI.
- Bio: Carlita was born to Rochelle Francesca and Juarez Sanchez in Los Mochis, Mexico, not long before their marriage began to fall apart. She grew up witnessing domestic disputes and abuse to both her parents before choosing to drop out of school and run away as a teenager. She eventually found work at a brothel, driving clients and their women around. Carlita recounts memories of her working there, such as how one time there was a ninety year old client and how she thinks any time she's having a bad day all she has to do is think of that, or when there was a celebrity and the paparazzi were tipped off. Carlita eventually left and with communism on the decline thought she might find work with aid efforts in Europe. She eventually joined the US Army as a pilot and began bolstering defenses across the country.
With the knowledge of Israeli and South Korean armies placing women on the front lines Carlita began pushing to operate in a combat role, but was continually knocked back. However she showed great promise during Desert Storm as a pilot and the idea of her being able to train using attack helicopters was raised. It was quickly evident that she was a natural. In the military Carlita met who would be the first (of three) husbands in Oliver Mirrea. They served together in Kuwait and on the end of their tour in the Gulf married, moving to San Antonio Texas where they lived on base there. Oliver was recalled where Carlita remained on base. After a long absence and subsequent separation Carlita lobbied for and was finally allowed to train for a combat pilot role. However not long after her training began she developed arthritis in the foot, and the army decided not to risk her on flights and thus she was transferred to Los Angeles, where she began undertaking theory classes in hostage rescue with the LAPD SWAT, hoping that she could then teach army recruits.
She took to it like a duck to something a duck likes a lot, the knowledge she gained helping train a lot of soldiers. It was at this time in 1994 she met her next would be husband, Chris Rodriguez. With Chris as a fiancé Carlita was happy with her life. Before she was to be recalled back to San Antonio she planned a trip to Mexico with Chris. However during the trip Chris was stung by a scorpion and ended up losing his job during his stay in hospital. Both he and Carlia were furious over the treatment and their fighting ended in them splitting apart, Carlita seeking to move back to San Antonio when she was offered to work from LA. Initially she was going to refuse the job and move back to San Antonio for another line of work because of the bad way the LAPD treated Chris. However she was recalled to the army shortly after September 11, not long after that she met boyfriend number 3, Tom Lonnings.
This time Carlita operated as a soldier teaching piloting skills and what she learned about hostage rescue and bringing in a target alive to soldiers who would be serving in Afghanistan. It was during this time that Carlita fell pregnant to Tom. She named her son Oliver after her first husband, before having Tom look after him when Carlita was sent to Afghanistan where she served as a instructor and a soldier herself. The most eventful part of the tour for her was a strike on a terrorist camp in the Khyber Pass, acting on a lead that Osama Bin Laden was there, but after the attack they could find no evidence of such. Carlita's Commanding Officer however kept her in mind and after she was sent home who she worked for found her work as an FBI agent teaching their Hostage Rescue Team.
At the FBI Carlita was classed as an agent despite not working in the area of investigation, and because that was what she was classed as she sought to try and learn how to become an investigator, and tried to assist the proper agents understand how terrorists think, possible targets as well as ways to track them down. Somehow her role in advising on terrorism was found out and Carlita was contacted by a group offering a bribe. She said she wouldn't turn traitor for anything less than a billion dollars, knowing that there was no way the terms would be met. The FBI was furious Carlita even entertained the idea, however soon the terrorists contacted her again. They had killed Tom, taken her son and threatened to kill him if she did not inform them of how the FBI was trying to find them. She agreed, only to try and lead them into a trap. It failed, and when she told the army about what happened and they could find no way to help she told the terrorists to kill Oliver, she wasn't going to help them. Initially she was in pieces over what she did and was sent home, however back in the US Carlita was able to hold it together enough to lead a raid on where the terrorists were hiding out. When she came across the body of her son she was distraught and was removed from operations, instead being questioned on anything she might have found out. It was a trying ordeal, with Carlita unable to cope, but eventually she was able to put together enough of a lead. She then went to interrogate one of the terrorists that had been captured, only to be removed when she tried to kill him.
After her years of service leading to the murder of her son Carlita wondered about quitting. Given everything she had encountered she chose to leave. Not long after this Carlita tried running a bar and night club, but found that she couldn't just stand by and do nothing when reports came from India about rape she tried to become involved. Her CO from Afghanistan who stayed in touch with Carlita caught wind of this and instead after a few calls were placed suggested Carlita join the Bureau.
Why would the Bureau want Carlita? Well she has some thirty years of experience in law enforcement and the army, she has a lot of knowledge on the topic she is happy to teach and she's useful to have around in case things get hairy. Not just fighting, suppose there is a problem with uncovering an artifact, she could come up with or participate in getting it and the agent safely home, or if there is someone else involved Carlita would know how to keep tabs on them and counteract whether it be intelligence gathering on the Bureau or something more forceful. Why would Carlita want to join the Bureau? That's easy, she's past fifty, she can't be in the field like she used to be, she doesn't want to, but she can still teach and help out, she wants to teach and help out, and she wants to gain the knowledge and experience to work as a proper agent rather than just a shooter.
edited 15th Aug '13 2:41:42 AM by tsstevens
Currently reading up My Rule Fu Is Stronger than Yours
- Name: Harry Nicholas
- Age: 68
- Appearance: Balding, with a grey close-cropped beard and brown eyes. He proudly carries several scars from missions in the field on his person.
- Personality: Harry is that kind of grizzled, seen-it-all and shot-it-all kind of employee that every good secret agency worth its salt always tends to end up with; nobody knows how he's managed to stick around so long or even how he got hired in the first place, but he refuses to be downgraded to a desk jockey and keeps on going out into the field, and so far has shown no inclination to retire. He dislikes the idea of keeping the artifacts under lock and key for use or even study; if he had his way the Agency would be destroying every rogue item they picked up.
- Equipment: Standard issue badge and ID card. Instead of a pistol or any kind of fancy laser weapon, however, Harry sticks with a creaky yet dependable Winchester shotgun from his days in the military, lovingly nicknamed "Matilda" by its owner. He refuses to use any Artifacts in his operations, often grumbling that the pretty boys in the big seats are playing around with the same things that they're supposed to lock up.
- Skills: Prior military training and service in Vietnam, as well as a lot of experience out in the field over the course of his lifetime.
- Bio: Harry first encountered an Artifact during his deployment in the Vietnam War, when he and his platoon discovered what they thought was some newfangled Commmunist weapon◊ outside of their temporary campsite. When the bomb began releasing its deadly and still-living payload, Harry was the only one able to barely escape infection. He spent a fortnight alone in the jungle, devising traps and jury-rigged explosive devices to take down his former comrades before fighting his way back to Saigon over the course of several more weeks. The officers in charge of his debriefing sent him back to the USA with a Section 8 and a strong suggestion to check into a psychiatric ward. Once there, however, he received a telephone call from a mysterious group of individuals who seemed to believe his account, and was offered a job. With most other employability options now closed to him, what other choice did he have?
- Other: Has a wife, Agatha, two children (both married) and four young grandchildren; all of whom are under the assumption that he works for the government.
edited 14th Aug '13 12:17:19 PM by Locoman
Name: Jericho Love
Age: 28
Appearance: You can already tell he's a player
◊
Personality: Very calm, conceited individual. Loves flowers. Quite a suave romantic type. Always dating or meeting new girls. Very intelligent. Very relaxed and confident. Gives off an air of control and assertion. Very slow paced with everything, never rushing anything. Likes to analyze details a lot. Likes to laugh and joke a lot. Kind and helpful.
Equipment: Has the standard equipment, only he gave his pistol away, and now has two 357. Black and gold magnums. And two white and gold flowers patterned Desert Eagles.
Skills: Very skilled at dual firing, quick draws, and fancy, flashy OTT shooting, which he rarely does unless its a wooden dummy or something he can show off with. Adept at Parkour, can climb buildings within reason and very athletic. Very intelligent and can work out plans on the spot.
Bio: He grew up a very quiet boy in Hawaii. He began unofficial Parkour running along beaches and rocky areas and so on. He was raised by his grandfather in a small village, they had many exotic pets, his grandfather was a collector of them. One day, he was climbing trees when he saw an out of place flower. Looking like a four leaf clover. He took it home to find his grandfather sleeping, with a note and a glass box with a frog inside. It read: "I've been feeling a bit ill, left this out for you too see, its a poison dart frog, the key's hidden to don't try and take it out, It'd kill you if you did! He left the flower on the box for him then left again. When he returned. He saw two men in black suits, along with paramedics looking of similar attire. They explained to him, a poison dart frog had escaped from a box and killed the grandfather. They said the box had been opened by an Artifact, known as "Raskovnik" A flower that could open any lock. They took him to a special home for children, then he began training at the school there, then he was asked to join the Bureau when they explained what they did. He has been working for them ever since his 8th birthday.
Other: N/A
Name:Raskovnik
Universe of Origin: Eastern European Mythology, this universe?
Apperance: A four leafed clover, with a thinner stem.
Category: Power granting? (Has an ability which grants a power if you have it, but its the plants own power, it does not give it to you)
Powers: Opens any lock
History: It was taken by the Bureau after it accidentally caused the Death of an elderly man in Hawaii and stored in the American Warehouse.
Anything wrong with it, just say so and I shall change it.
edited 14th Aug '13 1:00:33 PM by Ulqahart
If you are looking for a prize in the box, their is none. Only more cardboard.
O_o Damn...I'm not even gonna try to compete with that! 
Let's start with an artifact, since I'm still thinking of an appropriate character and I want to fill a plot hole that has always annoyed me about secret government agencies: where the Hell do they get all their money?!
Name: The Treasure of Caesar Spada
Universe of Origin: The Count of Monte Cristo
Appearance: An oaken coffer bound with cut steel. In the center of the lid is the arms of the Spada family (a sword and oval shield surmounted by a cardinal's hat) stamped on a silver plate. Inside the coffer is divided into three sections: the first holds a thousand gold ingots weighing three pounds each, the second holds over 50,000 crowns each valued at approximately $120 in modern U.S. dollars, and the third holds over ten double handfuls of precious jewels mounted by the most famous workmen, with a value so high it can hardly be whittled down to a single sum.
Category: Normal
Powers: The only power the treasure holds is its unimaginable value. In and of itself, the Spada family fortune is worth approximately $700,000,000, but by investing portions of the fortune into various companies and inventions, the North American Bureau has managed to quintuple its value over the past few decades.
History: Like many Bureaus worldwide, the North American Bureau was crippled financially because of laws one and five: the artifacts cannot be used by the government, and no one must know about the artifacts. Because of the first law, governments across the globe saw the Warehouses as a liability; a pet that needed to be fed periodically, but otherwise left alone. Governments were much more interested in practical investments, and after the new artifact laws were established, it was clear artifact hunting was not a practical investment. Any other form of fund raising was trumped by the fifth law: no one must know about the artifacts. So starting in the late twentieth century, funds for Bureaus started to decline at a rapid pace.
On October 7th 1995, a massive spike in Artifact readings was captured off the coast of Gloucester, Massachusetts. In what turned out to be a literal treasure hunt, the Spada fortune was discovered two and a half miles from shore. The Bureau snatched the chest at nightfall before anyone else could investigate. Since then, the Treasure of Caesar Spada has been one of the primary sources of funding for the North American Bureau.
edited 14th Aug '13 1:00:40 PM by TheodoreHastings
The Saddest Sad Machine
Unfortunately, Greta's picture is not relocatable. I mentioned her transfer, so I guess she's accepted?
Also, Re: Everyone else's signups: JESUS CHRIST THOSE ARE WORDS
Uh
This sounds great!
I'm going to think my character over for a bit, but I'll definitely get one up before this starts. I do have an artefact I'd like to suggest though.
- Name: The Monado
- Universe of Origin: Xenoblade Chronicles
- Appearance: The Monado, for your viewing pleasure.
- Category: Normal. Unless you host an ancient god inside you, in which case it allows you to see glimpses of the future.
- Powers: In its base form, it's a laser sword. However, when activated, it can unleash numerous different benefits to the user. It can:
- Do lots of damage to machinery, and allow weapons nearby to do more as well, for a limited time (about two minutes).
- Make the user and their allies more nimble.
- Create a shield around the user and their allies for about sixteen seconds.
- Can dispel magical effects, and briefly stop them from being cast.
- Can create armour which slightly reduces damage.
- Can blow enemies over with a gust of wind.
- History: The Monado crossed over into our Universe in the late 1970's. it was found by a toy salesman, and was originally sold by him, thinking it was a toy sword, to some kids. When one of them managed to activate it accidentally, and destroy his family computer, the Bureau started to investigate. One agent, under the guise of a collector managed to convince the kids family it was a special replica from some tv show, and that only twenty were ever made, and managed to buy it off them for millions of dollars. It was moved to the warehouse, and the family was left wondering why they couldn't find any records of the toy collectors existence.
edited 15th Aug '13 5:21:48 AM by MusikMaestro
That One Gal
This seems pretty interesting in my opinion. Figure I should start somewhere. I'll...make an application once I'm feeling less tired than I am now.
huzzaaaaaaaah
@tsstevens: Wow, Carlita's intense. And I'm afraid she might be a little too intense. I mean, I like what you did with her backstory, but I don't think the Bureau might be interested in hiring someone as volatile as her. You know what I mean?
@Locoman: Accepted.
@Ulqahart: Ok, first, your backstory, up until the point someone tells him about the artifact, is fine. One, the government would never tell a citizen, let alone a child, about the existence of Artifacts. I also don't see them hiring child agents, or training children to be Artifact hunters. Two, is Raskovnik an original creation of yours?
@Theodore: I like that artifact. Accepted. The artifact, that is.
@Musik Maestro: Also like this one, but the Bureau wouldn't use fake cash. Apart from that, accepted.
The Saddest Sad Machine
And me?
Discussion thread
Introduction
Imagine that everything we believed to be fictional actually exists, but in alternate universes- the shows and movies that we love are the results of humans catching glimpses of these universes in their dreams. You've heard this story before? But what if I told you that every once in a while, objects from these universes "crossed over" to ours? Oh, you've heard this one too. Alright. So what if I told you there were people in our world that knew about this, and they are all part of a government-funded organization whose mission is to collect these objects?
The first signs of cross-overs were back during the ancient times, when Egyptian and Greek civilizations were at their peak. For many years, their people had glimpsed into different worlds through their dreams, but finally, they started to write these stories down. That's what the cross-overs needed to enter our world: physical evidence of their existence. People found unusual helmets and clothes scattered around their cities- clothes that turned them into superpowerful creatures that were considered gods and titans.
It wasn't until Alexander the Great stepped into the scene that something was done regarding these artifacts. Alexander had glimpsed into an universe, an universe where he saw a group of people collecting strange objects and storing them in gigantic warehouses for the good of humanity. While history says that he was a Great Conqueror, we, artifact hunters, will know him as the First One. As he conquered the land, he defeated monsters, and collected their artifacts, storing them in Alexandria.
However, other people glimpsed into the same dreams as Alexander, and these people wanted the artifact for them. And so, Alexandria burned down, the artifacts- and the people responsible for the fire- disappearing forever. For a long time, nothing happened. Artifacts belonging to creatures found their way to Earth, but it was only one or two every twenty years. It wasn't until the end of the Middle Ages where humanity saw a bunch of new artifacts coming in. While the Renaissance allowed many humans to write original works, it also allowed other humans to write the universes they had glimpsed into in their dreams. For many years, people believed there were sea monsters in the seas, when it was actually animals who accidentally ate artifacts brought in by the stories written by those sailors. Unfortunately, most of these artifacts are now at the bottom of the sea.
A steady stream of artifacts found their way into Earth, but more and more artifacts wanted to come in. This caused the rift between universes to momentarily crack, a movement which gave humans many glimpses into horrible universes. While some humans went mad, others converted those terrible feelings and saw them as omens of what would happen to Earth in the future if the world didn't change. The Age of the Revolutions had begun.
By the end of the 19th century, the United States found out about the artifacts, and used their westward expansion to hunt down any artifacts in their lands and store them. In order to keep these artifacts safe, they created an organization, the Bureau for Artifact Collection and Storage, whose sole job was to track and store artifacts in America. The Bureau would become the only official, government-funded artifact hunting organization in the world until the late 1940's.
With the creation of radio, stories were spread all over the world. Comic books started appearing on the shelves. Books started getting more imaginative. The world was evolving, and the Bureau was getting worried, especially after a horrible event when, in 1929, a man holding the artifact of a "genie's lamp", got a single wish. Although there are no records of what his wish was, its results were obvious: the market crashed. The Genie's Lamp remains stored in the Bureau's warehouse to this day. The year after, the Bureau presented a report to the government, saying that some information had leaked during the hunt for the Genie's Lamp.
This information soon found its way to the highest buyer. In 1935, Adolf Hitler obtained a full report detailing everything the US knew about the artifacts. A fan of the mystical, Hitler went mad, and started searching for the artifacts in often bizarre places. When his search gave him no results, he added the artifacts as another reason to conquer the world. In 1939, Poland was invaded, and Hitler immediately started searching for artifacts there. The news spread to other nations of the world. The British, the Soviets, the Italians, the Chinese, the Japanese, the French, the Brazillians, the Argentinians, everyone soon knew about the artifacts. And while the Second World War was happening, every country was trying to find artifacts on their own lands.
After the World War ended, the US turned to a failed idea: the United Nations. With the promise of using it to avoid another World War, the US approached every country, promising to help them in searching for the artifacts. But it wasn't until Winston Churchill's declaration that "the artifacts are the next step towards a Third World War" that the countries actually decided to work together. Together, warehouses were built, and the Bureau expanded, with each country creating its own organization. All countries did the same... except for the Soviet Union.
Many years passed. Technology advanced. Warehouses were upgraded. Wars were waged, used as a way for each country to quietly search for artifacts. Military dictatorships were established all over South America, with the army wanting to use the artifacts to protect themselves. The Soviets had their hands on the button, ready to use their artifacts- and the US was doing pretty much the same. It wasn't until the fall of the Berlin Wall that every country decided to once again reform their methods of storing the artifacts.
Laws were established for the new century. One: the artifacts cannot be used by the government. Two: the artifacts must remain stored in a country's Warehouse at all times. Three: new artifacts belong to the countries where they landed. Four: artifacts that could bring about the end of the world or turn any country into a massive war machine are stored in a special vault under UN control. Five: no one must know about the artifacts.
And now we're in the 21st century, and more artifacts are coming in by the minute. The Bureaus in each country start looking for people who can fight and who also know all that is to know about the worlds where these artifacts come from. The world still doesn't know about the artifacts- even if more people outside the government, like TV showrunners, anime creators, book writers and geek stars are being hired to act as agents on the field- but most believe that is about to change. For no one has asked...
Just why are these things crossing over to our dimension?
General Information
Welcome to "The Bureau", a new crossover RP with a twist. Objects we once thought were fictional can cross over into our world, and it's up to the Bureau to collect them all so they don't spread chaos all over the world. And thanks to the winds of destiny, you are now part of the Bureau. Let's go over some of the rules:
Rules? Don't be a dick, don't metagame, don't godmode, yada, yada, yada, we're all adults here and we all know the rules. Let's all have some fun, everyone!
Sheet
For Characters:'
For Artifacts: That's right, you can suggest artifacts to be used on the RP!
Accepted Characters
edited 17th Aug '13 4:53:47 PM by Stratofarius