Your Mondegreens

A program for toddlers was on in the background simply because it's preferable to total silence. And then suddenly, I heard a little girl say...

"It's a bloody doctor!"

She actually said "it's a blow-up dolphin", because they were showcasing a bunch of blue things, including an inflatable dolphin. But I just barely avoided getting an armful of tea burns.

"Dont'Cha wish your girlfriend was free like me?" -> Dont'Cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" ^_^;;

...Isn't "freak" the actual line?

I thought it was "free."

When I was a little kid watching Cyberchase, there was this one line of The Hacker's that I would always hear as "I practically invented the code in the book, dammit." Eleven years later and I can't think of anything else he could have been saying...

Hall & Oates: "Whoa oh, here she comes... she's an anteater..."

Whenever I heard Electric Light Orchestra's "Turn to Stone" as a younger boy, the part in the last verse that goes "You will return again someday/to my blue world" was misheard as "You will return again someday/to burn the world". Slightly different now that I know the lyrics.

edited 29th Jun '14 10:56:13 AM by Mr.Kingdom

I knew that's not what he was saying, but I didn't bother looking up the real lyric until recently. It Amused Me and I didn't want to ruin it.

edited 4th Jul '14 9:20:17 PM by Wheezy

The first several times I heard "You've Got A Friend In Me'' when I was really little:

Actual Lyrics: "(When the road looks) ...rough ahead, and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed...

How I heard it: ...rub a head, and you're miles and miles...

So rubbing someone's head will transport you miles and miles away from home? That's unnerving.

edited 5th Jul '14 10:05:27 AM by kablammin45

That's amazing. I can kinda see it (or hear it, in this case). For whatever reason, I can't clearly make out lines to a lot of songs so I always assume that they're complete gibberish.

I did too, believe it or not,

When I was younger and I heard the goodbye song in The Sound Of Music which goes like,

"So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, goodnight..."

I always thought it said,

"So long, farewell, our feet are saying goodnight..."

"Bless me bagpipes" as "Curse it, me glove hurts".

...yeah.

I blame this wiki for messing with my understanding of "Sunshine of Your Love":

''I'll soon be with you my love, To give you my Dull Surprise.''

My mother keeps hearing "PK Fire!" as "PK Murder!" whenever we play Brawl.

...I've started hearing it too, now...

Similarly, "PK Penner!"

I sometimes hear it as "DK's mother!" which makes matches against Donkey Kong hilarious.

At first, I heard Jamiroquai's Virtual Insanity as 'Virtual Inflammability', which made me laugh when I heard it right the next time.

When I just listen to the song Blessed Are the Dead Whiche Dye in the Lorde and don't have the lyrics in front of me, I always mishear "sacrifices and obedience" as "sacrifice your kids". Always. Even though I know that's not the lyrics. If I'm staring at the words then I hear them correctly but otherwise, nope.

Ok, this is probably the weirdest one from me, also from when I was very little. The theme from the original Winnie the Pooh shorts:

Actual lyric: Deep in the Hundred Acre Wood...

I heard: Deep in the Hundred Naked Wood.

Fortunately, I figured out where Christopher Robin REALLY plays via a sing-along tape before I sung it this way in front of anyone pretty quickly.

"Little Talks" - Of Monsters and Men.

Actual Lyrics: "'Cause though the truth may vary this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore."

Misheard Lyrics "'Cause though the truth may vary this shit will kill ya bodies to safe to shore."

edited 11th Aug '14 10:42:04 AM by Tools

I just remembered one from... A pretty long time ago, actually, when I was a kid.

Thirty Seconds to Mars — "From Yesterday"

"On a mountain he sits, not of gold but of sin" (Actual lyric: "shit")

This one was actually my mom's fault. I tried to point out the captions showing a bad word when we saw the music video, and she insisted it was a typo because she still liked the song. Or, rather, Jared Leto.

edited 11th Aug '14 11:30:23 AM by BaffleBlend

That actually makes just enough sense that if they needed to bowdlerise the song for whatever reason, that would be a reasonable way to do it.

Ages ago when playing Persona 3, I never understood some of the background lyrics, but one of them I swear went something like "I never felt like ''submissive level"

On the same subject, for the longest while I kept hearing Persona 4's Reach Out To The Truth, which plays in every Random Encounter, have these lines:

Actual lyrics: I reach out to the truth, the whole moment now break away. Let me out, oh god let me out...

Mondegreen: I reach out to the truth, the homo men now break away. The lesbians, and the lesbians...

edited 11th Aug '14 12:53:23 PM by Kurgy

In U2's "Bloody Sunday", no matter how many times I listen to it "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" is always heard "someday, buddy, someday". It works with some of the more legible lyrics, too; it could be a response to how he "still hasn't found what [he's] looking for"... Maybe it's just me, though.

I can't believe I almost forgot to list this one that's been making me and my brother laugh for several months whenever it comes up.

To provide some context, whenever there's nothing on TV, we tend to turn it on little kid channels just to has SOMETHING in the background.

So imagine our surprise when this disgustingly cutesy character from Henry Hugglemonster began belting out in a passionate chorus of: "I GOT POSSESSED"

The real lyric is "pizazz", but the song itself and the entire show is just plain forgettable.

edited 14th Aug '14 6:40:12 AM by BaffleBlend