Upgrade the Weaksauce Power

You cannot be seen in the dark. At night, or in the dark, you can get away with mostly anything.

The power of heart.

Your heart can create a physical manifestation in the real world wielding machine guns and RPG grenades. Comes with unlimited ammo.

Power to cook 1-min noodles in 58 seconds.

edited 4th Jun '16 7:11:11 AM by Jamiester

They get a lot more flavor than normal noodles.

You can only silence your voice.

With your mind. And multiple can be done together at the same time without your brain overloading.

And make it such that it's selectively silenced. Great for telling secrets without anybody else eavesdropping, also great for shouting to a friend without an enemy knowing, etc.

The power to break pencils, and only pencils.

edited 4th Jun '16 7:17:17 AM by ironcommando

Your powers are so precise that you can forge pencils into deadly weapons, effective cutting implements, complicated machines, or even computers.

The power to upgrade the ram of any computer by one megabyte and only one megabyte, simply by concentrating hard enough.

You can do this to any computer, and also remove one megabyte from a computer.

The ability to switch a person's gender at birth.

edited 5th Jun '16 8:48:13 AM by Superjohn

By altering the genetic sequence of the child, you also grant them mutant superpowers.

Power to fetch a remote within an inch from your fingertips.

The remote is created by the fingertips of the man with the aforementioned power. The remote created can control anything, including Vladimir Putin.

The power to eat cockroaches.

And get all their abilities (like Spiderman, only for cockroaches). The more you eat, the stronger they are.

The ability to remember precisely what you said twenty four hours ago.

You don't just remember what you said, but you remember everything else that was going on with perfect clarity.

The ability to type with your mind

It's much faster than normal typing, and you become a lot better at multitasking so you can take full advantage of the fact that your hands are now free.

The ability to see infrared and ultraviolet light.

These extra layers of vision can be selectively turned on and off, as well as adjusted for relative intensity and overlay your regular vision, effectively allowing for one to bypass the being blinded by candles and blacklights. Isn't the world just awesome in three-depth vision?

The ability to translate anything, but only into poorly-structured, possibly-broken, and nearly-illegible English.

Your "translations" are hilarious enough to instantly turn into classic and memorable memes, giving you instant internet fame.

The power to style your hair exactly how you want, including gravity-defying Anime Hair

...which logically makes it great for hand-to-hand combat.

The ability to relieve only itching.

It also cures any negative condition of which itching is a symptom (like say, acid corrosion).

Lagging,

which forces everyone to slow down the pace at which they do anything, so they can stop to smell the roses and enjoy the beauty of life.

The ability to change the colour of any object into any colour you want.

You have the power to erase written information such as Road signs, Books, paper. You can also plunge the earth into darkness by turning the sun black.

The power to lift things weighing 10 pounds or less without effort.

You know what weighs less the 10 pounds? Air, aka the air dictators need to breathe, the air fires needs to exist, the air that can power wind turbines.

The ability to cause a Theme Tune you play when ever you do something cool.

edited 6th Apr '18 2:05:41 PM by vjoi

You can perfectly control the volume and pitch of the Theme Tune, turning it into any kind of sound attack. Additionally, you can make it an Ear Worm for those who hear it.

The power to become totally invulnerable for one second in your whole life.

edited 6th Apr '18 4:17:06 PM by C105

It will only activate during the milliseconds that you get hit by fatal attacks, such as knives or bullets, making them useless against you.

The Power of Lol

You make your foes laugh so hard they pass out.

The power to have good wifi everywhere.

You instantly become the best ISP, especially if you're pro net-netraility (meaning cha-ching!).

The ability to become instantly clean.

edited 7th Apr '18 4:55:29 AM by aNinjaWithAIDS

This power can also be used to purify contaminated water and crops.

The power to melt chocolate with your mind.

You can make chocolate appear anywhere as well, meaning you can blind your foes.

The power to change colour of objects.

You can use it to make yourself and any object invisible.

The power to control your heart rate at will.