ITT: Make a badass bost about yourself

-BLAM- *Gets up.*

-SLAM- *Staggers to his feet and delievers a cold stare*

The Big Bad: "Why won't you die!?"

Karl: *snickers* "You want to know why? Because as long as I choose to fight, I will draw breath. You can't stop me. You can't even hope to slow my down. Greater ones than you have tried. I know pain. I know suffering. And very soon, you will too."

edited 27th May '11 11:49:55 AM by KarlKadaver

Impossible, you say? Impossible that I stand before you? I've stood unblinking down the barrel of a gun; fear only drives me to become greater. Impossible for a nobody to even get this far? I've met some of the greatest creators and leaders, and I walk the path that they've inspired. Impossible to stop you? I always carry everything I need to get the job done. Whatever job that might be.

Who am I? I'm the erosion of your hope. I am the one who cannot be predicted, the ultimate variable. If you cannot fathom defeat, then I am the one that you cannot understand. I am inexorable!

I am Thirty Two Underscore Footsteps, and YOUR END IS NIGH!

You know why you're scared right now? I don't look like much; I don't sound like much; I'm untrained. I'm unarmed. Before today, I'd never been within a mile of getting injured, much less killed. Never faced down something that wanted me dead.

You're scared because I got here anyway. You're wondering what my secret is. What superpower I've been hiding behind my back this whole time. I'll tell you.

I'm just this cool.

You know what I'm really doing when I'm not here?

I'm fighting zombie Hitler and his zombie Nazis using nothing more than a pair of nunchuks and my brainpower.

Oi, oi, oi! You think you can take me down with a threat like that? You think you can crush my spirit, destroy my hope, kill my dreams? Think again! Listen up, I'll tell you who I am!

I'm Erin, the brilliant beauty from the southeast! I'm a Gunmen pilot! I'm a Puella Magi! I'm a Kamen Rider! I'm all these things and more, because you know what? I have the power- The power to dream! The power to believe! The power to DEFEAT YOU!

I'm Hollikuru, and that's all I need to be!

That's it? That's how you were going to beat me?

You failed, my friend.

What am I, you ask?

I'm exactly what you all say I am: I am a monster.

I cannot be killed because I am undying, I cannot be stopped because I am unrelenting, I will not be defeated because I choose not to be.

What am I?

I am a demon. And I've come to take your soul to Hell.

-spit-

You want to know what fear is?    Then Face Me.   

You think you can cross me and leave unscathed?

Oh no, good sir/madam - you've just become my new game.

And you'll be as mad as I am before I'm done playing...

edited 6th Jun '11 7:13:37 AM by StolenByFaeries

Let me tell you a little story. Once, I was given the nickname 'Hero' in the derogatory sense; people remarked that my pursuit of justice would only invite trouble and bring about my end. Well, fast forward to today, and I can conclude that those people were half right. After all, trouble's been the order of the day ever since I started. Oh, yes, I can't remember a time in my life in which such trouble hasn't been a factor.

Now, the thing is, they were wrong about the second part. You see, with every trial I overcame, I turned up stronger for it; better equipped to deal with the next punk that assumed that I was all talk. After all, without conflict, how can any of us hope to change, for better or for worse? And change I did; I'm now unironically known as 'Hero,' after all these years of ridicule.

And, now, here you are, thinking that I've simply had a lucky streak that you think you're going to end. Hell, you were even cocky enough to let me tell you all of this without interrupting me, which I suppose I ought to thank you for.

I am The Hero Hartmut. You're obviously in too deep to consider running away at this point, so at least try to put up some form of resistance. It'd be wasteful if you didn't.

I have lit worlds on fire. I have witnessed creation and the heat death, and yet here I am. I have faced demons, angels, and the horrors that human kind have long forgotten.

My name is forgotten because I allow it. My deed aren't recorded for none except myself lived to record them. Your simple swords, guns, and other toys merely amuse me.

You live because I tolerate it, and you will die because I demand it.

Your fate is sealed, your doomed unleashed, for now you face a terror that has long plaque this world and will continue; you face Philosopher.

Your stregth is grand. Your number is many. Your tatics are well organised. Your will is high.

Let these are futile against Ailedhoo, for Ailedhoo will show thy suppier planning and bring thy all down one by one.

Now get ready... for Ailedhoo will KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN!

(to the tune of Pixie's Rap from TFOP)

(raps) I'm pissy, i'm pissy, who cares about all those sissys? I'm sissy....(get on it) I'm sissy....YEAH!

Wait...that wasn't right...

edited 15th Sep '11 12:47:43 AM by SquadalaGuy

I'm me.

I can fuck tigers to death. I can kill a million suckers with just a tablespoon. Giant squid want me to rape them.

You know who I am, bitch.

I am the god of the world, the emperor of darkness, do you dare to oppose me? I will crush with my sword and elemental powers,I ,Xiphos Orochi 666 will destroy you and send you to heaven and hell where I shall finish you.

Afraid? I'm not that surprised because I WILL CRUSH YOU!

You've come so far, seen so much, killed so many...just to die here.

It's rather funny, it's like life was playing a big joke on you. Oh well, it was nice knowing you.

Name's Steven, sorry to keep this short but you're really annoying me and: Look at that your throat's now in my hand.

In brightest day, in blackest night No evil shall esc...

Dang, that one's taken.

I am vengeance. I am the ni...er, that one's taken too.

When monsters roar or children cry, a brilliant glow will light the sky. I promise all within my sight that no evil escapes from Locksley's might!

edited 11th May '12 11:12:41 AM by resetlocksley

All humans are fools, as I rise from the hellfire of Heaven, apocalypse will start and plagues will befall them. Nothing can stop me as I walk through the mists of sin and betrayal. I am the Emperor of Yggdrasil, the God of the world. Forfeit your life and this battle will be quick. Mhua ha ha ha ha ha, NOW DIE INFERNAL HUMAN!

I'm sure you have seen a thousand horrors in your life and are sure to see a thousand more. However, me? I shall be the worst horror you shall ever see or imagine in your short, insignificant life.

edited 28th May '12 6:48:58 PM by starfy64

This used to be my signature, but:

My will is like a rubber band; easy to bend, but hard to break.

I am the warlord who exterminates the youkai! I am the one who conquers felarya in the name of humanity! I. Am. Paradisedj32.

There is no shadow under the stars where you cannot hide from me.

I AM DARKNESS!

Every time you feel the cold breath of terror breath down your neck, I've just grown stronger.

I AM TERROR!

NO FORCE IN THE WORLD CAN DESTROY WHAT I AM!

I AM OMEGA SHADOWCRY! LONG UNLIVE THE NIGHT! '

Prepare to be bit into eight bits by NE Sgamer 190!

I'm just a petite young woman. It's not like I'm known to wonder off on my own in the woods without a second thought. It's not like I consider scuba diving and storm chasing to be thrilling. And it's certainly not like I've been trained to handle sharks or anything.

edited 3rd Apr '13 6:45:58 PM by MurkyMuse

I am the Earl of Sandvich! Master of HAM! The MUSTARD of your doom!