These are what we call the 'YMMV items.' Things that some people find in this work. We call them 'your mileage might vary' because not everyone sees these things in the same way. This starts discussions in the trope lists, a thing we don't want. Please use the discussion page if you'd like to discuss any of these items.
Dude, Not Funny!: Sprinkled throughout the fic, but this one stands out even then:
They tuned it on and the Special Olympics was on. There was a boy/little girl tansvesite THING on the Telly and it had greasy barack hair and a butt chin and was ugly and clearly the most retarded of them all. It was flopping around like a crazy penis because it’s the most retardedest and cant right write.
Family-Unfriendly Aesop: Hey kids- if you get pregnant at a young age while still in school via a full-grown stranger, you'll be rich enough to buy a mansion and be loved by all!
Relationship Sue: Dally as the stand-in, vicariously-living-through variety, who is a vampire witch who is loved by all. For the perfect significant other flavor, there's Hiei, who has been derailed into a personified sex toy.
Romantic Plot Tumor: The normal "kill Dumbledore" plot is crummy enough, but the Love Triangle involving Dally, Hiei, and Edward (and later Bill, too) grabs the fic and drags it as far down as possible.
Rooting for the Empire: Granted, the villains aren't the most moral, but somehow they're less monstrous than the "good guys." It's really picking the lesser of two evils- the Dirty Old Man who tried to (and failed to) rape a handful of boys, or a group of people who murdered quite few characters and gave one of the most sadistic Groin Attacks in the history of fanfiction?
The Scrappy: Although everyone in the story is hated to a certain extent, Dally takes the cake. Even her offspring is given a little forgiveness due to pointblank being called a "hellspawn" in the story.
Strawman Has a Point: When Bella's introduced, she's giving a speech about how teen pregnancy is "illegal." If you take "illegal" to mean "not a good thing," she has a point - especially when Delly winds up on the Maury show at the end of the story.