What An Idiot / Crash Bandicoot

"You people are dumber than a sack of hammers!"

— Willie Wumpa Cheeks, Crash Tag Team Racing

There are quite a lot of dumb decisions that make even the titular Idiot Hero marsupial himself look like a genius in comparison.

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Crash Bandicoot (1996)

• Dr. Neo Cortex and his assistant Nitrus Brio have just mutated Crash Bandicoot into a humanoid. They plan to put him through a machine dubbed the "Cortex Vortex" in order to brainwash him into being 100% loyal to Cortex and make him the general of his army. Just as Cortex straps Crash to the chair, N. Brio tells him "But Dr. Cortex! The Vortex is not ready! We have no idea what it could do!"
  You'd expect: Cortex to consider N. Brio's advice and double-check the machine for any errors to make sure everything goes smoothly.
  Instead: Cortex is so impatient that he just goes ahead with the brainwashing.
  The Result: N. Brio was right. The Cortex Vortex malfunctions during the brainwashing process and Crash takes advantage of it to escape Cortex's lair and wash ashore in N. Sanity Island. Cue the entire events of the series and Cortex's plans for world domination being ruined ''over and over again''. While Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time reveals the ACTUAL reason the Vortex failed was due to Future Crash accidentally destroying the Vortex's power source while everybody was unaware, it could've still been avoided had Cortex listened to N. Brio and delayed Crash's brainwashing to fix whatever error the machine had.
• During the final battle, Cortex shoots green energy rays from his pistol which can be bounced back at him with Crash's Spin Attack.
  You'd expect: For Cortex to realize this and just use his other colored rays so that Crash can't harm him.
  Instead: He continues using the green lasers. After Crash hits him 5 times with them, Cortex's hoverboard blows up and he falls to the ground hard.
  Even Worse: This strategy is used numerous times throughout the series, meaning Cortex didn't learn anything from this fight.
  

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

• While going home to fetch a laptop battery for his little sister Coco, Crash is suddenly teleported to a warp room by Cortex. The mad scientist, claiming to have undergone a Heel–Face Turn, orders Crash to collect 25 crystals to stop a "planetary alignment" that might destroy the Earth.
  You'd Expect: For Crash to not be so blindly trusting of Cortex's lies. The last time they met, Cortex willingly pulled a ray pistol on him.
  Instead: Crash blindly does what he's told without questions. Surprise surprise, Cortex actually lied about saving Earth and wants instead to use the crystals to power up his new Cortex Vortex and brainwash the whole populace into being his mindless slaves! Nice going, Crash.
• N. Brio, angry that Cortex had replaced him with the insane cyborg N. Gin, is aware of his plan to brainwash Earth and wants to stop it by destroying Cortex's space station with his laser. However, said laser needs to be powered up by 42 Gems, so he hacks into the communications system in the warp room to tell Crash about the gems.
  You'd expect: For N. Brio to also tell Crash that Cortex is lying and wants to use the crystals he is currently gathering for evil purposes. That way, Crash can ignore Cortex's orders to gather crystals no matter how much the doctor screams at him to do it, and collect gems instead.
  Instead: Not only does N. Brio never bother telling Crash about Cortex's plans, but he also sends Ripper Roo, the Komodo Bros, and Tiny Tiger to kill him, not realizing that no Crash means no gems.
• After collecting 20 crystals, Crash is told to meet up with N. Gin so he can deliver the crystals to him. N. Gin arrives in a floating mech.
  You'd expect: N. Gin to just politely tell Crash to give him the crystals and then be on his merry way.
  Instead: Using his mech, he tries to kill Crash and take the crystals by force, even though Crash didn't do anything to antagonize him.
  Thus: Crash is forced to destroy N. Gin's mech with Wumpa fruits in self-defense.
• After Crash finally collects 25 crystals, a panicked Coco hacks into the communications and tells him that Cortex is going to use the crystals to power up the new Cortex Vortex. Soon after, Cortex cuts off Coco from the system.
  You'd expect: Cortex to realize that Crash has just discovered his entire plan and try to do something about it.
  Instead: Cortex still expects Crash to hand over the crystals, despite the bandicoot now having no goddamn reason to do so.
• During the final boss fight, Crash chases after Cortex on his jetpack while the scientist is trying to reach his space station. Cortex still has his ray gun.
  You'd expect: Him to try and shoot at Crash if he gets too close.
  Instead: Cortex never bothers using his blaster during the fight. This is fixed in the N. Sane Trilogy version of Crash 2, where Cortex instead carries a crystal rather than his blaster.

Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped

• Dr. Nefarious Tropy has created the Time Twister, an enormous, all-purpose time machine one can use to travel back to many different time periods. And he uses it for Uka-Uka's latest scheme.
  You'd expect: N. Tropy to have some kind of security measures in the very likely case the Bandicoots find it. Even better, for him to ask Cortex, who fought Crash twice at this point and knows his tactics, for advice in how to deal with him.
  Alternatively: Being a time traveler, for N. Tropy to get himself an army to guard the place while he goes to the past to collect crystals.
  Instead: The Time Twister doesn't seem to have any form of security whatsoever, allowing Crash and Coco to freely invade it and use it to go back in time and take the crystals and gems before Uka Uka and the others.
  You'd then expect: For the villains to try to do something about it.
  Instead: Aside from death threats, the bosses don't act upon it until the Bandicoots have gotten everything they need in that era.

Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex

• At the final level, after Crash beats Cortex and frees Crunch from his brainwashing, Uka Uka, fed up with Cortex's failures, decides that the doctor must die here and now.
  You'd expect: For him to just wait this out and get out of the space station they're in first.
  Instead: He tries to shoot a bolt at Cortex, which the doctor easily dodges, and accidentally damages the space station, causing it to self-destruct.
  The Result: Cortex and Uka Uka have to take an escape pod to avoid being blown up. Said escape pod lands somewhere in Antarctica, and as Twinsanity shows, both eventually get frozen. And of course, Uka Uka has the gall to blame Cortex for all of this, saying "If you hadn't ducked out of the way, none of this would have happened!

Crash Bandicoot 2: N-Tranced

• As part of his latest plan, N. Tropy hires a master hypnotist from the 5th Dimension, N. Trance, to capture and brainwash the Bandicoot trio into being evil. However, thanks to Aku-Aku's interference, N. Tropy ends up capturing the Fake Crash.
  You'd expect: N. Tropy to see the obvious differences (bushy eyebrows, fake teeth...) and dispose of Fake Crash right then and there.
  Instead: N. Tropy assumes that he indeed captured the real Crash and brainwashes the doppelganger, leaving the real bandicoot to travel the world and ruin his entire plan. N. Tropy doesn't even learn of his mistake until after Fake Crash is beaten and snapped out of the brainwashing, and yet he decides to blame N. Trance for all of this.
  Even Worse: As an addition, Fake Crash goes on to help Crash defeat N. Trance.

Crash Twinsanity

• In the opening Boss Battle, Cortex repeats his old mistakes with his choice of weaponry.
  You'd Expect: Cortex would only use his unblockable bomb and rapid-fire blaster attacks against Crash.
  Instead: Not only does Cortex use a charged blaster shot that Crash can spin back at him, he actually tells Crash that he can return the shot, saying "Here's one gift you can return!"
  The Result: Crash defeats Cortex yet again.
• Coco gets paralyzed by Cortex at the beginning of the game so he could disguise himself as her to lure Crash into a trap. Cortex later teams up with Crash to fight the Evil Twins and stop them from destroying the world.
  You'd expect: Crash and Cortex would remember Coco and maybe try to wake her up and bring her up to speed about the Evil Twins. She could surely prove to be a helping hand.
  Instead: Both completely forget about Coco. Thus, when she wakes up offscreen, she assumes Cortex is up to no good again.
  Later: Coco breaks into Cortex's iceberg lab, still unaware that Crash and Cortex have teamed up.
  You'd Expect: Them to quickly try to calm her down and explain (as difficult as that may be).
  Instead: Crash stands like a potato and just watches as his oblivious sister kicks Cortex in the balls. This leads to Cortex hitting the control panel of the Psychetron (which they ''need'' to go after the Evil Twins in the 10th dimension), causing a malfunction that destroys the two power crystals Cortex was holding onto and paralyzing Coco again. Thus, Crash and Cortex have to travel to Madame Amberly's Academy of Evil to recruit Cortex's niece Nina so she can help them fix the Psychetron.
• At the Academy of Evil, Cortex decides to take over and tells Crash to go back to their airship and tie it to "something secure" to prevent it from flying off without them, while he goes to fetch Nina.
  You'd Expect: For Crash to find some kind of mooring to tie the airship to (it would be crazy for an academy, no matter how obscure, to not have some kind of docks for any students traveling by boat). Failing that, tie it to one of the towers of the Academy. These structures are very sturdy and unlikely to fall apart when keeping the airship in place.
  Instead: He ties it to a freaking bus. Not only is it not strong enough to keep the blimp in place, but the bus is also dragged along like a wrecking ball, causing mass destruction across the academy and nearly killing Nina when she tries to catch up. Lampshaded by Cortex.
  Cortex: "Tie it to something secure", I said!
• Upon the Evil Twins' defeat, they both decide to flee to avoid possible death. They enter a hut, which turns out to belong to the Evil Crash.
  You'd then expect: Them to try and fight off the Evil Crash with their powers (which included ripping Cortex's brain out at the start of the game).
  Instead: They just stand there and let Evil Crash eat them alive.

Crash Tag Team Racing

• The power gems of Motorworld (including the gem that powers its cybernetic owner Von Clutch) has been stolen. After Crash recovers the last gem in Tomb Town, Coco decides to do some detective work and both she and Pasadena hold a meeting to share what they found: there were drops of Wumpa Whip at the places that housed the gems, which means the culprit has some Wumpa Whip on him. And at this point, Crash has gotten addicted to Wumpa Whip and even brought some with him to the meeting.
  You'd expect: For everyone to ask around if anyone has seen anyone or anything suspicious.
  Or: Ask Willie Wumpa Cheeks (the mascot of Motorworld) directly if he knows anything about the Wumpa Whip, because after all, he's a giant Wumpa fruit that dispenses Wumpa Whip.
  You'd also expect: For everyone to not jump to conclusions and accuse Crash of the deed, as it makes no sense at all, as a) the thefts started long before he even set foot in the park, and b) Crash was helping Von Clutch recover the gems in the first place. Why would he go through the trouble of stealing them if he was going to put them right back afterward?
  Instead: Everybody immediately goes straight to accusing Crash and giving him a wrongful What the Hell, Hero? upon seeing him with Wumpa Whip.
  You'd then expect: Coco, who claimed to have an IQ of 164, to come to Crash's defense and tell everybody that they got it wrong, because again, Crash was the only one who was recovering the gems in the first place while everyone else didn't do jack-shit.
  Instead: "Oh, Crash! How could you?!"
  You'd THEN expect: For Crash to try to defend himself and claim innocence. A simple nod saying "I didn't do it" could totally work.
  Instead!!!: Crash bows his head sadly as if agreeing with this madness (though he does raise an eyebrow).
  You'd Then Expect: Willie Wumpa Cheeks, the real culprit, to stay quiet and let these idiots pin his crimes on Crash.
  Instead: Willie gets so fed up with everyone's stupidity that he reveals himself as the culprit, proving Crash's innocence, before fleeing to the final world, Astro Land, with Von Clutch's Black Power Gem in tow.
• After Willie is killed by Cortex and Crash recovers the last power gem, he puts it back on Von Clutch, reviving him. Everyone cheers and Von Clutch gives Crash a slap on the back.
  You'd expect: For someone to clearly see that the lid on Von Clutch's chest that has the gem is still open and therefore close it. Failing that, for Crash to not give Von Clutch a slap on the back, as it could knock the gem off.
  Instead: Nobody does anything, and Crash accidentally slaps the gem out of Von Clutch's chest, disabling him again.
  You'd then expect: For everyone present (particularly Crash, Coco, Crunch, and Pasadena) to just put the gem back on Von Clutch.
  Instead: Coco, Crunch, and Pasadena just stare awkwardly as Crash escapes Motorworld to avoid any consequences.
• Many of the Die-o-Ramas are caused by Crash always acting stupid.
  • Multiple scenes have a sign telling visitors or park drones to not stand in a specific spot, get too close to shark-infested waters, or press a button.
    You'd expect: Crash to clearly obey these signs.
    Instead: He decides to ignore them. Guess what happens next.
  • Another set of Die-o-Ramas involve Crash getting attacked and eaten by Yetis. One scene, in particular, involves a Yeti in a cage at the zoo.
    You'd expect: That since it's a common rule for zoo visitors to not interact with jailed animals, for Crash to not stand so close to this Yeti.
    Instead: Nope. Cue him getting dragged inside the cage by the Yeti and eaten.
  • Another Die-o-Rama cutscene has Crash putting a coin in a vending machine.
    You'd expect: Crash to just push one of the buttons on the machine for a drink.
    Instead: He forgets that part and just stands there waiting for a drink.
    The Result: Once nothing happens, he gets angry and climbs on the machine trying to get it to dispense the drink, only for him to accidentally rock it and have it fall down and smash him.

Crash: Mind Over Mutant

• After converting the broken-down Doominator's eye into a TV, Crash, Coco, Crunch, and Aku Aku watch an infomercial promoting Cortex and N. Brio's latest gadget, the NV, a high-tech, all-purpose entertainment device. Note that Cortex is clearly wearing a Paper-Thin Disguise (compared to N. Brio, who's not even bothering), isn't trying to change his voice to sound different, uses weird sentences and words like "Gentle-mutants", and even has one of the Ratnicians he hired to help in the infomercial vaporized on camera.
  You'd expect: The Bandicoots would realize from the get-go that this commercial is really just Cortex launching a new evil scheme. Even if they don't know the true function of the NV (mutating and brainwashing you), they still should investigate and not take chances.
  Instead: They fall for it, hook, line, and sinker. And they don't even question anything when a box with NV's inside appears at their doorstep.
  The Result: Coco and Crunch, while playing around with the NV's, are suddenly mutated and brainwashed into hideous monsters. And while Crash (who was away with Aku Aku confronting N. Gin) is able to snap Coco out of her brainwashing, he's unable to chase after Crunch, who escapes to the Junkyard.
• After Crash finally beats Crunch and removes the NV from his head, Crunch starts celebrating and yelling "Thanks, little buddy!"
  You'd think: Crash would get the hint and realize that Crunch is back to normal.
  Instead: He fails a spot check and assumes that Crunch is still brainwashed. He then proceeds to badly beat Crunch into unconsciousness until Aku Aku tells him about Uka Uka's involvement in the plot, and tells Crunch to go home.

Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time

• After the events of Crash Bandicoot: Warped, Uka Uka finally opens a portal leading out of prehistoric times so he, Cortex, and N. Tropy could finally escape after 22 years of attempts. Unfortunately, opening the rift has taken its toll on the evil mask, and he falls unconscious.
  You'd expect: For Cortex and N. Tropy to take Uka Uka along with them back to their time, if not for help with their new plan to destroy Crash, then for pragmatic reasons as they are very well aware of his wrath.
  Instead: N. Tropy tells Cortex to leave Uka Uka behind, despite him being the one who finally freed them, stating he's "served his purpose." Thus, by the end of the game, when N. Tropy is defeated and Cortex is banished to the end of the universe, Uka Uka recovers and learns about their betrayal, and thus, Cortex has to face the consequences.
• After Cortex is again beaten by Crash and Coco, N. Tropy suddenly appears in hologram form to gloat and reveals he "no longer has a need for their partnership".
  You'd expect: N. Tropy to say something like "I'll kill the bandicoots instead, don't worry", and not reveal his new plan to remake the timeline in his image, which would erase Cortex alongside the Bandicoots, to make perfectly sure Cortex won't try to seek revenge.
  Instead: He reveals his entire evil plan. Sure enough, Cortex now has every reason to team up with Crash and Coco to stop N. Tropy, mostly because he doesn't want to be erased from existence. Thus, during the level "Out For Launch", Cortex messes with the ship Nitrous Oxide is using to prevent him from escaping, allowing everyone to stow away and steal his car so they can get to the Rift Generator where the N. Tropies are.
• In the level A Hole In Space, the N. Tropies have curb stomped Tawna. However, the rest of the group has just managed to arrive before they can finish her off.
  You'd expect: For the N. Tropies to just kill Tawna, then immediately get serious and do their best to kill the the rest of the heroes.
  Instead: The main N. Tropy convinces his alternate self to give them a "sporting chance" and knock them all back into the quantum rift, separating them while knocking them all out as well, when they could have just killed them right then and there.
  Predictably: Akano wakes up Crash and Coco from their 15-second-long coma and the duo quickly takea quantum rift right outside the Rift Generator.
  You'd then expect: For the N. Tropies to NOW get serious and do their best to kill them.
  Instead: They're so absorbed in their conversation that they don't seem to notice Crash and Coco parkouring their way into their doorstep.
  The Result: Crash and Coco beats them both with just ONE hit.
• After the N. Tropies are dealt with, everybody decides to visit the Sn@xx Dimension to get some food as a celebration. However, Cortex learns that Kupuna-Wa, one of the Quantum Masks, has the power to create rifts to any timeline. Naturally, Cortex decides to kidnap her and use her power to prevent his past failures and erase Crash from existence.
  You'd expect: Cortex to travel all the way to the time when Crash was just a normal bandicoot and either prevent his past self from taking Crash from the wild or kill him. Either one works as long as Crash is Ret-Gone.
  You'd ALSO expect: Cortex to attempt to get rid of Coco as well, since she has proven herself to be just as much of a nuisance to his plans as her brother and was also the backup, meaning that his past self might still try to use her. Also, she was directly responsible for his plot in the second game failing, so getting rid of her pretty much ensures no one can stop him.
  Instead: Cortex travels only to 1996, on the very same day where the Cortex Vortex failed to brainwash Crash. Traveling back to 1995 and getting rid of Crash before his mutation would've led to things going Cortex's way MUCH faster. He also doesn't even consider getting rid of Coco.
• After arriving in 1996, Cortex uses a hologram to contact his past self and begs him not to brainwash Crash Bandicoot.
  You'd expect: Past Cortex to at least listen to his present self before coming to a conclusion.
  Additionally: For him to notice the two mutated bandicoots from the future who are listening to the entire conversation and realize that Future Cortex is telling the truth.
  Instead: Not only does Past Cortex immediately accuse his future self of being an impostor, but he also completely fails to take notice of Crash and Coco. Thus, Future Cortex has to find and restrain his counterpart, holding him hostage. While he does so, Future Cortex continues to try to reason with Past Cortex, but Past Cortex refuses to listen at all.
  You'd then expect: Cortex to find and murder past Crash before he goes into the Cortex Vortex and maybe go after past Coco while he's at it.
  Instead: He decides to stick around for one final fight.
  The Result: He gets beaten again and as a bonus, is banished to the end of the universe by the Quantum Masks. Worse, it only ends up causing a Stable Time Loop of Future Crash accidentally destroying the Cortex Vortex's power source just as his past self was about to be brainwashed, therefore ensuring Crash's creation and rendering Cortex's attempts to change the past meaningless.
• In Coco's last Flashback Tape level The Gauntlet, Cortex realizes that the latest obstacle course he set up for Coco is RIGHT NEAR a "super secret escape hatch".
  You'd Expect: Him to immediately shut down the experiment and send someone down there to either grab Coco or shut off the escape hatch.
  Instead: Not only does Cortex never do that, but he also accidentally blurts out his knowledge of the escape hatch to Coco through the intercom, allowing her to escape and reunite with her brother.
  The Result: Not only does he lose another chance in creating a general for his army (which he takes surprisingly in stride), but Coco would go on to help Crash during the second game and mess up his entire plan.

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