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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
The Expendables
There will be a sequel, but it won't start filming before the end of the year

So that Arnold Schwarzenegger can have a real role, as then both he and Stallone will lead a team of mercenaries and compete with each other. And then truly the fans, nay, the world of Men shall rejoice.
  • Slated to come out in the second half of 2012. Arnold is confirmed.

Trent Mauser was just a cover name for Dutch
Arnold is playing the same role he did in Predator, and is no longer taking mission in South American jungles after the last one didn't go so well.
  • You do realize this means we'll have the Expendables fighting Predators eventually, don't you? AND IT WILL BE AWESOME.

Yin Yang is the last descendant of Nameless
After sparing the life of Emperor Qin and getting killed anyway for making the attempt, Qin decided to honor the man by burying him with honors and marking the tombstone with his own birth name - Yin Zheng.note  He's killed off the only remainder of his innocence and the last shred of the man he used to be.

In the Sequel, Arnold Schwarzenegger will reappear with his own team of mercenaries, consisting of...
Danny Trejo, Kurt Russell, 50 Cent, Steven Seagall, and Jean-Claude Van Damme. (See the What Might Have Been entry on the main page.)
  • Needs a token Asian - Donnie Yen? Tony Jaa?
    • Neither has the American name recognition of Jackie Chan.
      • Jossed. He appears alone, but it's alluded to that he has a team.
  • Tony Jaa had a Start of Darkness-esque role in Ong Bak 2, maybe he'd be fine with the role of The Dragon. If so, he could possibly be the first person to kill off an Expendable.
  • Needs more Rock.
    • To make this even better, they will be pursued by a brutal team of CIA killers who have decided that the Expendables are too Bad Ass to live. The leader of the team will of course be Mr. Church. Mêlée à Trois, you gotta love it.
  • Chuck Norris, since he's a devout Christian in Real Life, will play the minor role of Badass Preacher of the church where the trio met. His screentime will be short, but it will include one of the sequel's Crowning Moments of Awesome. Presumably him going all Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass on some mooks or thugs. Or something like this: the trio meets again in the church, but this time a fight is about to break out, until Chuck appears and subdues them with a hammy "THOU SHALT NOT FIGHT ON HALLOWED GROUND!" (roundhouse kicks optional). If I could find it, I'd put here a link to a photo of Chuck Norris in a cassock from Firewalker.
    • Chuck Norris should be the Affably Evil Big Bad. And kung fu fight entire Expendables teams singlehandedly.
      • Chuck Norris has commented that he'd feel inadequate among such famous action stars, and as such doesn't really intend on joining the cast.
      • Inadequate!? Does Chuck Norris have any idea who Chuck Norris even is??
      • Looks like Chuck Norris changed his mind, as he's in the movie in some form.
  • Bruce Campbell has to be in there somewhere. How about as a retired, over-sexed former CIA agent who has information that one of the teams need. There will be a shootout where Campbell casually kills a half dozen crazed killers and picks up chicks at the same time, spouting one-liners throughout.
    • And this exchange must occur:
      • Nude Girl who's life he saved: Thank God I was with a good guy like you.
      • Campbell: Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
    • ... no.

Ross is a Time Lord who's gone insane and he's hallucinating everything that takes place in the film as he slowly starves to death in a broken-down TARDIS

  • Because no WMG page is complete without morbid dying dreams and references to Doctor Who.
  • Alternately, they're all a group of surviving Time Lords that the Doctor hasn't discovered because he's been too busy dealing with his own (and his companions') issues.

This movie is set before the events in RED, and Mr. Church's real name is Frank Moses.

Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson will make a surprise appearance in the sequel.
He's one of the few action stars they HAVEN'T mentioned. Stallone's obviously keeping him in reserve.
  • Jossed.

The last scene is a kind of shared Dying Dream.
Explaining why Gunnar is Back from the Dead, Christmas manages to hit the target, etc.
  • Going off this, Expendables 2 and the planned Expendables 3 are also part of the Dying Dream, and the entire series will end with this being revealed.
    • Or alternately, everyone died and the last scene of #1 and the entirety of the sequels are the characters going through purgatory.

Expendables takes place in the same universe as Burn Notice
Just thinking...this would be an awesome way to shoehorn Bruce into this one.

Barney Ross is the estranged son of General "Thunderbolt" Ross.
This would make him Betty Ross's brother, and The Expendables part of the MCU.
  • And then we could get that Samuel L. Jackson cameo mentioned above.
    • Nick Fury meets The Expendables and recruits them for a team-up with The Avengers. Yes. The only thing I fear about that is that the world might explode from the sheer awesomeness.
  • Going by their age difference, more like the General's brother.

Dr. Christmas Jones is related to Lee Christmas.
No-one could possibly name their daughter Christmas (which is clearly the main problem with Denise Richards playing a globe-trotting Nuclear Physicist). It's probably a hyphenated name, because she is either the half-sister, or an ex-wife, of Lee Christmas of The Expendables. That only leaves the question of what her real first name is, and why she's too embarrassed to use it.

Yin Yang was killed sometime after the first movie
  • Hence why he isn't shown much in the trailer and only appears with some new footage and archive footage from the first movie in the trailer as well.
    • Considering that one plot point in 2 is the death of one of the Expendables, this is a possibility. It doesn't help that Jet Li speaks terrible english (well... relatively speaking compared to everyone else) which has hurt his ability to be a success in the West since it's a lot more difficult to make an impression when you're struggling around both an accent and non-fluency.
    • Nope - Yin Yang shows up for the first twenty minutes and survives the second movie.

Then Yin Yang was killed after he left the second movie...
...by Yulaw.
  • Jossed again.

The creators are tropers
  • The movie provides the friggin' image for Troperrific!

The movie is what GI Joe would be in a less cartoonish world.

Trench Mauser is John Matrix.
Sure, John retired again at the end of Commando and went into witness protection, but he needed more money so he became a merc.

In the tradition of the previous WMG about how Trench/Ahnold was going to have his own Mercenary team, Expendables III will feature...

Gunnar Jensen actually is Dolph Lundgren.
In-universe, I mean. Gunnar's life is basically that of Lundgren's anyway, and if you buy into the idea that most (if not all) of the team uses codenames, then maybe Gunnar Jensen actually IS Dolph Lundgren moonlighting as a mercenary. Could be delightfully meta, considering Lundgren played Ivan Drago in Rocky IV...

Jean Claude Van Damme ain't done yet
He might have been stabbed and had his head chopped off, but he will be back somehow, either using the Powers of Satan (He HAS a Satanic tattoo on his neck), a back-up twin or a clone. Either way, he'll be back.

The third movie will feature Wesley Snipes as an old archenemy of Barney's
  • Given the fact that they reportedly want him, and the fact that in Demolition Man he and Stallone played archenemies who fought across two different eras of time, and given the series' tendency towards Actor Allusion, it seems likely.

The team that Mauser leads is likely or would be jokily called The Un-Expendables
  • Given how "Mr. Church" would give missions that would likely kill assets like Ross' team, there would be assets that the CIA uses where if they get the job done more effectively. Trent's team would likely be considered to be unexpendable since they would be an A-Team of sorts, performing jobs within a wetwork/Black Op mission.

The Expendables series is a Stealth Sequel to the Rambo series
  • The fourth Rambo film ends with John Rambo finally going home after 30 years of suffering, war, and killing. But despite finally earning his happy ending, John finds himself restless. While he no longer wants to kill, he realizes that a man with his experience and skills can do a lot of good in the modern world. Thus, deciding to fight only for just causes, he decides to leave his old life behind, and changes his name to Barney Ross, creates a fake history, gets in touch with some mercenary buddies he's met over the years, and forms the Expendables.

The third movie will contain a Take That directed at Bruce Willis
  • It's clear that Willis' demand for more money and subsequent removal from the third film has caused a rift between him and Stallone, who tweeted "GREEDY AND LAZY....A SURE FORMULA FOR CAREER FAILURE" shortly after announcing that Bruce was out. Being that this whole series is basically Sly's pet project, it seems unlikely that he'll be able to resist an onscreen jab or two at his former co-star.
    • Confirmed, and it is glorious. Spoken by Harrison Ford:"(Church) is...out of the picture."

Stonebanks daughter will be the Big Bad either in the 4th movie or the all-female Spin-Off
  • There’s no reason for Stonebanks to mention that he has a daughter other than to set her up as a future antagonist of the team. The fact that she’s female could also be a way to bring the all-female into the picture, to fight fire with fire, so to speak.

Max Drummer is the Earthen descendant of Han Solo.
Well, they're both very skilled pilots, so...

ExcaliburWMG/FilmFace/Off

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