Funny: The Expendables

As befits a Homage to old-school '80s action movies, The Expendables comes loaded with six barrels of awesome, belt-fed with 1 round of funny every 10 links.


  • Three meta-Out Of Character Moments worth noting:
    • Jet Li's entire characterisation rant when sitting in Stallone's truck - it's funny to see someone who's typecast as The Stoic in nearly all his Hollywood roles being given full Large Ham licence.
    • Mickey Rourke, keeping his look from The Wrestler and Iron Man 2, now has an obsession with 'decorating' everything around him, whether it's Lee Christmas's head or a guitar he's planning to smash up when it's completed.
      • It's Mickey's "interpretation" of Charlottes Web that really sells the scene, though.
    • The scene in the church.
      • "This guy, he loves working in the jungle."
      • "He wants to be President."
  • Speaking of meta, Randy Couture's explanation of his ear deformity is marked by everyone immediately having a Here We Go Again reaction.
  • "Are you CRAZY?! YOU COULDA KILLED ME!!" "You're welcome!"
  • Immeidately after Hale Caesar guns down a small army with his AA-12.
    Hale: REMEMBER THIS SHIT AT CHRISTMAS!
  • Jason Statham vs. Domestic Abuser Bastard Boyfriend and friends: "Don't worry, we got your back." Hilarity ensues.
  • "Buddha. Pest."
  • The Gag Reel. Bruce Willis can't remember the name of the island, and Stallone can't hang up his damned gun belt.
    • The second movie's gag reel features perhaps the ultimate showdown: Armed terrorists with assault rifles... versus Novak Djokovic and his racquet.
  • The deleted scene, where Gunnar tells off the pirate leader for not having a parrot on his shoulder.
  • Speaking of Gunnar
    • It's good to hang pirates.
  • From the second film:
    • One of the things Gunnar does while travelling with CIA Agent Maggie Chan is to try to get her attention. Her capping off his efforts with an eyeroll is priceless.
    • Arnold Schwarzenegger in a Smart Car. "My shoe is bigger than this car!"
      • He also accidentally rips off the door when trying to open it. Church, not to be outdone, does the same to the other door.
    • The Chuck Norris fact that was worked in to Chuck's introduction scene:
    Barney: I heard you once got bitten by a king cobra.
    Booker: Yeah, and after five days of agonizing pain... (Dramatic Pause) ...the cobra died.
    Maggie: Don't cry.
    Ross: You almost had an idea.
    • Also, the dialogue leading to it:
    Christmas: (looking at Gunnar checking out the cave wall) What do you think he's doing?
    Ross: I dunno...making a bomb? Whay don't you go ask him?
    Christmas: Hey, Gunnar, what are you doing?
    Gunnar: Making a bomb! What does it look like?!
    • This also serves as a throwback to the first movie when he was preparing to hang one of the pirates with basically the exact same dialogue.
    • The exchange between Ross and Christmas concerning how big the Mook is, their backs turned to him the whole time.
    Christmas: He's big.
    Ross: ...So?
    Christmas: Just sayin'....
  • Most of their off-mission dialogues are pretty funny.
  • Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger swapping catch-phrases during the final fight.
    Trench: I'm almost out. I'll be back!
    Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back!
    (Booker comes in laying down cover fire...)
    Trench: "Who's next, Rambo?"
    Max Drummer: "(Church) is... out of the picture!"
  • This exchange in the sequel during the team's stop at a small village:
    Hale: Even you two rejects could get lucky around here.
    Gunnar: You think?
    Toll: I doubt it.
    Barney: You mind?
    (Mild pause)
    Villager: Who you are?
    Barney: We're Americans.
    Lee: Since when?
    Gunnar: Swedish.
    Hale: Blackfoot.
    Maggie: Chinese.
    Toll: (Annoyed) Retards...
    Barney: (To Toll) You done?
  • Church's token of gratitude to the team is a new plane... new plane meaning "rusty, beat-up An-2 biplane."
    Barney: That thing belongs in a museum.
    Trench: We all do...
  • Drummer treats Lee's talk as gibberish as if he was talking in a foreign language.
  • Practically every single scene with Antonio Banderas is this - especially when he propositions Luna...during the climax:
    Galgo: Your name is Luna, right? Luna means, uh, moon. Hypnotic, mysterious, much like yourself. Would you like to hold...my gun?
  • And this scene. God, this scene.
    Galgo: (marching, Seville's Holy Week-style) "Soy el nooooovio de la muerteeeee..." (stops marching) "I'm bridegroom of Death". Those are the lyrics of a Spanish Legion song we use to sing when we were in a mission in Croatia. (cuts to bombastic war anecdotes)
    (Working on the plane's engine, Barney looks completely uninterested)
  • Don't forget...
    Galgo: Who the hell are you?
    Trench: I'm the guy in charge of this operation.
    Galgo: Ay! (nervously mumbling) Me cago en mis muelas, casi me confundo y le pego un tiro a quien no se lo tengo que pegar. note 
    (Trench looks freaked out)