Funny: The Expendables
As befits a Homage to old-school '80s action movies, The Expendables comes loaded with six barrels of awesome, belt-fed with 1 round of funny every 10 links.
- Three meta-Out Of Character Moments worth noting:
- Jet Li's entire characterisation rant when sitting in Stallone's truck - it's funny to see someone who's typecast as The Stoic in nearly all his Hollywood roles being given full Large Ham licence.
- Mickey Rourke, keeping his look from The Wrestler and Iron Man 2, now has an obsession with 'decorating' everything around him, whether it's Lee Christmas's head or a guitar he's planning to smash up when it's completed.
- It's Mickey's "interpretation" of Charlotte's Web that really sells the scene, though.
- The scene in the church.
- "This guy, he loves working in the jungle."
- "He wants to be President."
- Speaking of meta, Randy Couture's explanation of his ear deformity is marked by everyone immediately having a Here We Go Again reaction.
- "Are you CRAZY?! YOU COULDA KILLED ME!!" "You're welcome!"
- Immeidately after Hale Caesar guns down a small army with his AA-12.
Hale: REMEMBER THIS SHIT AT CHRISTMAS!
- Jason Statham vs. Domestic Abuser Bastard Boyfriend and friends: "Don't worry, we got your back." Hilarity ensues.
- "Buddha. Pest."
- The Gag Reel. Bruce Willis can't remember the name of the island, and Stallone can't hang up his damned gun belt.
- The second movie's gag reel features perhaps the ultimate showdown: Armed terrorists with assault rifles... versus Novak Djokovic and his racquet.
- The deleted scene, where Gunnar tells off the pirate leader for not having a parrot on his shoulder.
- Speaking of Gunnar
- It's good to hang pirates.
- From the second film:
Barney: I heard you once got bitten by a king cobra.Booker: Yeah, and after five days of agonizing pain... (Dramatic Pause) ...the cobra died.
- One of the things Gunnar does while travelling with CIA Agent Maggie Chan is to try to get her attention. Her capping off his efforts with an eyeroll is priceless.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger in a Smart Car. "My shoe is bigger than this car!"
- He also accidentally rips off the door when trying to open it. Church, not to be outdone, does the same to the other door.
- The Chuck Norris fact that was worked in to Chuck's introduction scene:
Maggie: Don't cry.Ross: You almost had an idea.
- A hilarious moment of Black Comedy when the last Sang soldier in the village runs up to all of the Expendables at once, and they open fire on him. Barney sums it up: "Rest in pieces!"
- Lee disguised as a priest as mooks close in. The camera pans so his face can be seen in the hood, and he tells the unsuspecting mooks "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife."
- Gunnar telling the team that he wishes his last meal to be the Swedish specialty seal meat and whale ass...
- Gunnar's failed attempt at an improvised phosphate rock bomb.
Christmas: (looking at Gunnar checking out the cave wall) What do you think he's doing?Ross: I dunno...making a bomb? Whay don't you go ask him?Christmas: Hey, Gunnar, what are you doing?Gunnar: Making a bomb! What does it look like?!
- Also, the dialogue leading to it:
- This also serves as a throwback to the first movie when he was preparing to hang one of the pirates with basically the exact same dialogue.
Christmas: He's big.Ross: ...So?Christmas: Just sayin'....
- The exchange between Ross and Christmas concerning how big the Mook is, their backs turned to him the whole time.
- Most of their off-mission dialogues are pretty funny.
- Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger swapping catch-phrases during the final fight.
Trench: I'm almost out. I'll be back!Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back!Trench: Yippie-Ki-Yay...(Booker comes in laying down cover fire...)Trench: "Who's next, Rambo?"
Max Drummer: "(Church) is... out of the picture!"
- Becomes more Hilarious in Hindsight (or Harsher, depending on your opinion) when Bruce Willis refused to join Expendables 3, which featured THIS burning Take That:
- This exchange in the sequel during the team's stop at a small village:
Hale: Even you two rejects could get lucky around here.Gunnar: You think?Toll: I doubt it.Barney: You mind?(Mild pause)Villager: Who you are?Barney: We're Americans.Lee: Since when?Gunnar: Swedish.Hale: Blackfoot.Maggie: Chinese.Toll: (Annoyed) Retards...Barney: (To Toll) You done?
- Church's token of gratitude to the team is a new plane... new plane meaning "rusty, beat-up An-2 biplane."
Barney: That thing belongs in a museum.Trench: We all do...
- Drummer treats Lee's talk as gibberish as if he was talking in a foreign language.
- Practically every single scene with Antonio Banderas is this - especially when he propositions Luna...during the climax:
Galgo: Your name is Luna, right? Luna means, uh, moon. Hypnotic, mysterious, much like yourself. Would you like to hold...my gun?
- And this scene. God, this scene.
Galgo: (marching, Seville's Holy Week-style) "Soy el nooooovio de la muerteeeee..." (stops marching) "I'm bridegroom of Death". Those are the lyrics of a Spanish Legion song we use to sing when we were in a mission in Croatia. (cuts to bombastic war anecdotes)(Working on the plane's engine, Barney looks completely uninterested)
- Don't forget...
Galgo: Who the hell are you?Trench: I'm the guy in charge of this operation.Galgo: Ay! (nervously mumbling) Me cago en mis muelas, casi me confundo y le pego un tiro a quien no se lo tengo que pegar. note(Trench looks freaked out)