Funny / The Expendables 2

• One of the things Gunnar does while travelling with CIA Agent Maggie Chan is to try to get her attention. Her capping off his efforts with an eyeroll is priceless.
• Arnold Schwarzenegger in a Smart Car. "My shoe is bigger than this car!"
  • He also accidentally rips off the door when trying to open it. Church, not to be outdone, does the same to the other door.
• The Chuck Norris fact that was worked into Chuck's introduction scene:
  Barney: I heard you once got bitten by a king cobra.
  Booker: Yeah, and after five days of agonizing pain... (Dramatic Pause) ...the cobra died.
• A hilarious moment of Black Comedy when the last Sang soldier in the village runs up to all of the Expendables at once, and they open fire on him at the same time. Barney sums it up: "Rest in pieces!"
• Lee disguised as a priest as mooks close in. The camera pans so his face can be seen in the hood, and he tells the unsuspecting mooks "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife." It's so cheesy you can't help but laugh.
• Gunnar telling the team that he wishes his last meal to be the Swedish specialty seal meat and whale ass... before switching it:
  Gunnar: (While gazing at Maggie) ... but I would really go... for some Chinese...
  (Ross does a Double Take between him and Maggie, realizing what he meant.)
  Ross: (To Gunnar) Then you're gonna starve to death.
  (Everyone laughs, save for Gunnar.)
• Gunnar's failed attempt at an improvised phosphate rock bomb.
  Maggie: Don't cry. [pats Gunnar on the back who doesn't even react complete with a face of a puppy that's been kicked]
  Ross: You almost had an idea.
• Also, the dialogue leading to it:
  Christmas: [looking at Gunnar checking out the cave wall] What do you think he's doing?
  Ross: [sounding almost bored] I dunno... making a bomb? Why don't you go ask him?
  Christmas: Hey, Gunnar, what are you doing?
  Gunnar: Making a bomb! What does it look like?!
  • This also serves as a throwback to the first movie when he was preparing to hang one of the pirates with basically the exact same dialogue.
• The exchange between Ross and Christmas concerning how big the Mook is, their backs turned to him the whole time.
  Christmas: He's big.
  Ross: ... So?
  Christmas: Just sayin'...
  [Ross and Christmas look over their shoulders]
  Ross: He looks gigantic.
  Christmas: I said that.
• Most of their off-mission dialogues are pretty funny.
• Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger swapping catch-phrases during the final fight.
  Trench: I'm almost out. I'll be back!
  Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back!
  Trench: Yippie-Ki-Yay...
  (Booker comes in laying down cover fire...)
  Trench: Who's next, Rambo?
  • Becomes more Hilarious in Hindsight (or Harsher, depending on your opinion) when Bruce Willis refused to join Expendables 3, which featured THIS burning Take That!:
  Max Drummer (Harrison Ford): (Church) is... out of the picture!
• This exchange during the team's stop at a small village after the group take notice that there are only women:
  Hale: Even you two rejects could get lucky around here.
  Gunnar: You think?
  Toll: I doubt it.
  Barney: You mind?
  (Mild pause)
  Villager: Who you are?
  Barney: We're Americans.
  Lee: Since when?
  Gunnar: Swedish.
  Hale: Blackfoot.
  Maggie: Chinese.
  Toll: (Annoyed) Retards...
  Barney: (To Toll) You done?
• Church's token of gratitude to the team is a new plane... new plane meaning "rusty, beat-up An-2 biplane."
  Barney: That thing belongs in a museum.
  Trench: We all do...
  • Made even funnier with Harrison Ford (who uttered the first phrase — and was told the second phrase — twenty years earlier) appearing in the next sequel.

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