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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Jurassic Park
Alan is The Doctor.
Nobody can survive that much.

InGen is owned by, or owns, Delos.
Westworld was created to provide funding for InGen's Jurassic Park project.

The dinosaurs in Isla Sorna are killing out of mercy

Note that only the sympathetic[ish] characters in The Lost World and JP3 die, while the Too Dumb to Live protagonists survive. This is because the dinosaurs are sparing the less stupid people from being with the protagonists, freeing them in the only possible way to free someone from a movie: killing them.

The protagonists will not die because the dinosaurs have more sinister plans in mind for being so stupid, likely involving torture.

The men on the boat in the Lost World were killed by the mysterious virus supposedly featured in drafts of Jurassic Park 4.
As for all the blood and gore... the virus causes violence. Like a zombie apocalypse virus.

The men on the boat were killed by the T-Rex!
Notice how the cage the rex was originally in is located on the deck of the ship? That would suggest that they kept it there, instead of putting it into the cargo hold. The T-Rex broke free and killed most of the crewmen. The last of them hid in the hold; when it followed them, one of the crewmen on the deck closed the doors. But the T-Rex had fatally wounded him when it broke free, and the man died, still clutching the control switch.
  • The only problem is the captain's severed hand holding onto the steering wheel in the intact cabin; but we never see the other wall, and so there might well be a huge gaping hole where the T-Rex burst through right outside the camera's view. Furthermore, in the book, the T-Rex had a flexible tongue, and so it might have been able to grab the captain by his ankle and drag him close enough to eat him without breaking the cabin.
    • That was a continuity error created when they scrapped a section of the script that involved some smuggled velociraptors onboard the ship. It was based on a part of the first book.
    • Perhaps the T. rex killed everyone on board, including someone who was gripping the hold door's control box. Sated, the animal descended into the hold to sleep off its meal. The box (and hand) were left lying on the edge of a crate or other high surface. Later that night, the seas got choppy, and the rocking of the ship tipped the thing over the edge, causing the switch to get tripped when it hit the deck.

The men on the boat were killed by a prehistoric sea creature, possibly a giant squid.
The same thing happened to the guys on the motorboat in Jurassic Park 3.
  • But the prehistoric monsters were cloned off blood found in preserved mosquitoes. Since when would a mosquito have landed on a sea monster or been able to penetrate its thick oily hide?
    • Presumably, most of the large prehistoric sea-reptiles (with some exceptions — see Icthyosaurus) would have had to come onto land to lay their eggs. The mosquitoes could have either bitten one of the adults then or, more likely, bitten one of the young while it was on its way to the water after hatching (the young have thinner skins and all that).
      • Science Marches On; plesiosaurs and other post-Triassic sea reptiles were ovoviparous appearently, just like ichthyosaurs. That doesn't mean injured beached animals wouldn't be targets to mosquitoes however.

The men on the boat were killed by raptors that got onto the ship on the island.
It's a Twist Ending that never got picked up on, thanks to the T-Rex.
  • This was apparently featured in an early draft of the script.
  • Having raptors sneaking aboard ships and getting out into the city would have been a better story than the T-Rex shenanigans they went with. Then again, having a giant T-Rex terrorizing San Diego does look cooler... but it doesn't satisfy those of us who are more plot-oriented.
    • Who's to say they didn't? In-universe, maybe a couple raptors (that's all that was needed to kill the crew) did go around San Diego, but they weren't featured so heavily in the press (and also not shown in the film) as they were relatively easier to take care of. Granted, they're faster and more clever than the T-Rex, but they can die from a single gunshot (or a few of them) and, as such, maybe the police did take them down relatively quickly. Alternatively, maybe they hid somewhere and terrorised small sectors of a population (e.g., a neighbourhood) without generating so much noise and destruction. They're the kind of predators who would take their victims one by one, killing them before they can shout.

Samuel L. Jackson's character lived.
Sure, he might've lost an arm, but he also beat the raptors with it and escaped.
  • Hinted at by Peter Ludlow in The Lost World, who states that there were three deaths, not four, that occurred on Jurassic Park.
  • From the above article: He then ran into the T-rex and (mind you, he only has one arm now) went on to best the Rex in single combat. The Rex was impressed and vowed to avenge Jackson, thus supplying the Deus ex Machina scene at the end of the movie in which the T-rex saves the day and saves Jackson's rep.
  • He used a hollowed out palm tree as a raft and his severed, rotting arm as a paddle.
    • Except for that the arm was left in the building where he disappeared.
      • He went back and got it after Ellie turned the electricity back on. Because he's Made of Win.
    • And while he was at sea, he ate his own arm for sustenance. HELL YEAH.
      • He then lay dying sometime later from a mixture of several diseases brought on by eating his own flesh combined with the salt water he had to drink.
    • And in Jurassic Park 4, he'll get a robotic arm to replace his severed one, go back to Isla Sorna and fight dinosaurs for kicks. It'll be called "Jurassic Park 4: Samuel L. Jackson with a Robotic Arm Fighting Dinosaurs".
      • I'll forgive everything about Jurassic Park III if this happens! I WANT TICKETS TO THAT MOVIE!
      • I'm counting on "Jurassic Park 4: The Avengers on Isla Nublar".
    • What makes you guys think that arm was his? Because it belonged to a black man?
      • He survived the Dinos, but sadly was eaten later by a Genetically Engenered Shark.

Hammond was a supervillain
The velociraptors were the prototypes for his world-conquering Super Soldiers. They were genetically engineered to be intelligent, to preferentially attack humans, etc.
  • Hammond was already supervillain of the worst kind: The arrogant jackass who inadvertently screws everything up in his quest to do big, but non-evil things. Sadly, this is the most realistic kind of supervillain.

Nick van Owen was arrested after leaving Isla Sorna
It would explain why he vanishes after they leave Site B. He got arrested because word about how he, directly or not, caused every single death in the movie got out.
  • A snippet of dialogue reveals that in addition to his work as a photographer, Nick was a part-time member of ecoterrorist group Earth First! whom Hammond recruited specifically to sabotage the hunting operation, so it's plausible that law enforcement might have wanted to have a word with him after he returned for a number of reasons.
  • Alternate theory; once Roland got new ammo for his elephant gun, he decided to avenge his fallen comrades.

Humans are like crack to dinosaurs.
That's why they'd go after the runaway cookies next door, when they had a (probably unpleasant to eat) Big Mac. I'm assuming that it's something to do with the pancreas, not because it's any more likely than the other glands, but because it (after the spleen) tops the Rule of Funny small organs chart. The Spinosaur killed the T-Rex because it was up in its territory, thought about eating it since it was hungry even though it wouldn't be near as easy or tasty as fish, then... *sniff, sniff* "Are those pot brownies I smell?" The Rex was the same way, only with the added advantage of human poop (or at least lawyer poop, and that is not a dig against lawyers) smelling like exceptionally tasty prey. The dilophosaurs killed Nedry because he was there, not because they were hungry (they ate him because he gets wind when scared). The raptors, though... It could be either that they had the same reasons as the others, despite not having eaten a human before, but it is far more likely in my eyes that they wanted to extract their due 1(00)lb of flesh for being kept in a comparatively little "tank" and being thrown a sedated cow once in a while.
  • And the reason the T-rex ate the raptor instead of the humans at the end of the first movie was because it actually missed. It was going for the humans but the raptors got in the way. Once the T-Rex realized its mistake the humans had already scampered away in a Jeep.

Very few of the creatures at Hammond's park resembled actual dinosaurs of fossil record.
Primarily because fossil record is incomplete, so some of the preserved DNA was of species we haven't discovered, or that we reconstructed the fossil records for improperly (they're like our thumbed iguanodons). However, it's also because the patching he did with the frog (and in the book, was there also turtle?) DNA, which affected them to the point that by the time they got lucky enough to get a viable embryo, they weren't too much like the actual creatures the original DNA had come from. He may have tried to make them more interesting (turning the "size" markers on the raptors Up to Eleven so they resembled Utahraptors, mixing some ugly little poison-spitters with the large but cute dilophosaurs, keeping the compys at the size of the German skeleton instead of letting them grow to their natural full size- see putting poisonous plants in just because they're pretty), but I doubt it would have had any sort of success.
  • This is actually one of the key points in the books. The people working there know a lot about genetics, but little about dinosaurs or living animals as a whole. That's why the Jurassic Park project fails.
  • I've always figured the Dilophosaur was a baby, and that's why it was so much smaller than real ones. But butthurt paleontologists as well as snarkers who've read a couple dinosaur books just love harping on the fact that real velociraptors were 2 feet tall and real dilophosaurs were probably around 20 feet long.

  • They are, literally, The Theme Park Version of dinosaurs in canon, so this is not really a WMG, just an observation.
  • The velociraptors' ahistorical size can easily be attributed to misnaming. They're actually utahraptors, which were about the same size as the ones in the movie.
  • Actually:These raptors may not be up to date in scientific terms, but at the time they were originally created, they were in fact "accurate". When Michael Crichton first wrote Jurassic Park in the mid-late 80's, he based many of his dinosaurs on depictions and classifications by an unorthodox paleo-artist by the name of Gregory S. Paul, who had classified the recently discovered Deinonychus antirrhopus as "Velociraptor" antirrhopus. Crichton used these classifications when he wrote Jurassic Park. It is due to constant scientific updating, that these creatures became scientifically obsolete very soon. These classifications and designs were then carried over to the film version, which Spielberg had already planned on making, before the book was even published! The designs were copied as so to be accurate to the novel, not science. When Jurassic Park /// came out in 01, it was widely known in the scientific community that raptors had feathers (it is speculated now, that, to a degree they could even fly), but it was already too late, the image of the Deinonychus-sized, featherless Raptor had already been imprinted into the Jurassic Park fan community, and it was too lat to go back from that. What they did instead, was introduce a new "sub-species". The creators of JP/// passed these new raptors off as having been the "original" raptors bred, and that they re-bred the raptors to make them less intelligent, albeit more vicious. It is one of the many plot-holes that we, at JPL have worked tirelessly to patch together, and new strings are still being added to the mess of continuity that Joe Johnston has caused with JP///.
  • The scientists combined the recovered DNA with modern animal DNA to grow... something. If the result wasn't dinosaurish enough, it was discarded. If it was, it was labeled with a name that (to the geneticists with minimal knowledge of paleontology) seemed to match.

Alexis Murphy (the girl, 1st movie) is a zombie in disguise.
Honestly. Watch the movie again and see how she angles her head whenever she screams and how she runs to close the freezer on the V-raptor? Definitely some zombie tendencies. I think she deliberately organized all her brother's 'accidents' to tenderize his flesh before she feasts.

The fourth film would have been about...
BioSyn sending their own mercs to Isla Nublar to recover the canister full of the DNA samples that Nedry stole. Tim and/or Lex are now running InGen, and they send their own people to try and stop them.
  • Problem here in that the canister was specified to only have enough coolant for 36 hours, not the ~150,000 necessary for this plot to work.
    • It must have created some mutations after laying dormant in the mud.
  • Probably jossed since the movie's actually coming out.
    • "Since the movie's acutally coming out" Excuse me while I run and cry...because unless it's about Samuel L MF Jackson...I'm going to say...NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

The dinosaurs are actually animals possessed by evil spirits as in Berserk

Remember the Kushan sorcerers/buddhist monk wannabes that inserted human spirits on crocodiles and tigers and whatever the makaras are supposed to be? Well, maybe the "scientists" behind JP have a much more supernatural and darker nature, mastering not only genetics but also whatever sort of magic the kushans used, creating abominations with a desire to eat people and, if possible, to rape (probably they did so offscreen to the characters that show up dead but we don't see dying, as in the crew in the ship in the second movie).

In addition, the Pteranodons, in all their violations against real pterosaur anatomy/biology, are actually garudas, and Hammond is actually the Godhand Conrad. Or possibly Void.

In.Gen returned to Sorna between the sequels

There are new dinos in the island nobody has seen before (Ankylosaurus, Spinosaurus), new installations (the labs, the pteranodon cupula), and several "old" species have new colorations or attributes (raptors, parasaurolophus, brachiosaurs, pteranodons). Evidently, In.Gen had to return after the events of the second sequel, tried again to restore its dream dinosafari project and once again everything spilled out of control and the site had to be evacuated. These guys never learn!
  • Alternately ... In Lost World, Nick turned on a bunch of generators to get the radio working. After everyone left, the automated systems started pumping out new eggs. The Spino was one of those eggs, that's why the super-pred didn't bother anyone in Lost World. Regarding the rest of it, the blue raptors were the males, and all the other buildings were on the far side of the island away from where the events of Lost World took place.
    • Actually, the facility that we see in The Lost World, was simply the workmens' town for the island. It was living/dining and recreational quarters for everyone who worked on the island. The facility we see in JP/// was actually in a separate section of Isla Sorna, a bit more North-east of the Workers Town, called the Embryonics Admin. and Lab Complex. This was where the real magic happened. This was where the dinosaurs were really created. When Nick turns on the power, it's only for the Workers Town. The Embryonic Admin. and Lab don't have power, evident as the phones don't work.

The T. rex in the first movie had a cold

  • That's why it didn't smell Alan Grant when it moved its face right up to him.
    • Makes sense, considering that the Brachiosaur did too. Also, there was that sick Triceratops. The T-Rex could have eaten it before going after Alan and the kids. Screw the gate, I have plot!
Roland was supposed to be the hero of The Lost World
Think about it, aside from Malcolm, Roland is the only cast member who made any sense at all in that film. I think, in the original draft of the script, Roland leads an expedition including Sarah, a biologist with no field experience whatsoever to Site B. While there, they run afoul of gang of narcotics traffickers who were planning on using this uncharted island as a waystation (they had no clue about the dinosaurs). When both teams' camps are destroyed, the remaining drug traffickers join forces with the scientists, and the rest of the plot happens similar to how it did, minus the idiotic San Diego sequence.

However, before the scriptwriter could send in his script, his computer crashed, wiping out several dozen pages. He then suffered head trauma. Repeatedly.

Working on memory, the scriptwriter submits a new draft. But, after the head trauma, his memory failed, and we were left with a story about Sarah, the allegedly expert field researcher who snaps photos of enormous wild animals at point blank like a idiot tourist, and who thinks that walking around in a blood-soaked shirt is a good idea. Nick, the one-man animal wrongs group, is inserted. The drug traffickers become an allegedly evil team of poachers, who want to put the dinosaurs in a zoo (Boo! Hiss!). Roland goes from being the competant leader of the hero's expedition, to the only sane man (aside from Malcolm), leading the alleged villains.

The dinosaurs won't attack Hammond
The dinosaurs imprint on what they see at birth, which is almost always Hammond. As such they view him as their mother and will not attack him, notice how he's the only character to never be attacked by a dinosaur throughout the movie, even after the raptors are loose? The dinosaurs attack the rest of the humans with such tenacity because they smell 'mother' on them and assume them to be competition/threats to Hammond.
  • Perhaps in the movie. In the novel, Hammond attempts to escape, but is taken down by a flock of (mildly venomous) Compsagnathus.
    • In the novel, the Compsagnathus were one of the species that were breeding in the wild, and thus would not have seen Hammond at birth.
    • This could be why he wanted to go out into the park to turn the power back on instead of Ellie, not just because of his old-fashioned ideals. He knew he wouldn't be hurt.
    • Well he could be the only one to never get attacked just because he never really gets near them.

Nick van Owen and Sarah Harding are raptors disguised as a humans, sent to cause chaos and suffering.
Hence every single one of their actions being counter-productive to human survival.
  • Would that make them Vs?

The reason the raptors were so intelligent, is because they had used Hammond's DNA to complete their DNA sequinces.

Sure, it seems illogical at first, but why would Hammond feel so attached to them? Why would he want to be there to view their birth? Sure, he stated he wanted to see them ALL after they hatched, but this could have been a sly coverup on his part. He really had only told the scientist to warn him when the raptors were going to hatch.

Alternatively, A Wizard Did It.

Mr. Muldoon is (or rather, was) extremely rich
And this is his last will and testement.
  • This troper supports this WMG because imagining Muldoon actually writing his will like that is simply hilarious.
Dr. Grant is the reincarnation of Captain Vasili Borodin.
Having lived a good life, he was granted the gift of reincarnation in America so he could finally see his beloved Montana.

The T-Rex is the hero of this story
When The T-Rex originally attacked it was to test those who would bring her back to life. Gennaro sought to make a profit from her and as such was seen unfit to live. Originally she sought to kill the children for their ignorance but after seeing the lengths to which Alan and Ian went to save them the T-Rex decided to spare them. She would later save them from the Gallimimus. She didn't attack Malcolm on purpose. She only chased him to keep her illusion as a predator. Later when escaping on the jeep she planned on helping them but due to her sudden appearance, she frightened them. She soon decided that the rest of the humans on the island were deemed worthy to live and killed the velociraptors before claiming the island as her own.
  • You know what, I am now considering that canon and nothing is going to change my mind now, that is epic.

Impure DNA caused the biological anomalies in InGen dinos

Practically confirmed In-Universe; we know from the first film that the synthetic dinos aren't "authentic" - their DNA is based on that of real dinosaurs but with frog DNA used to fill in the gaps, so they're more like hybrids. Its then explained that, even though the dinos are all female, they can still breed because this DNA hybridisation gives them the ability to change their sex. If hybridisation can be responsible for that then maybe its also the reason why the things they call Velociraptors are unrealistically tall. For example, some parts of the frog DNA might code for chemicals which can act as Dinosaur Growth Hormone (DGH) or likewise code for chemicals that have molecular shapes complementary to some of the Velociraptor's enzymes, allowing those chemicals to pass through a metabolic pathway that (at some stage) produces a chemical which can act as DGH. Alternately, DGH might be inadvertently synthesized as a result of complex, cascading interactions between several different genes of the hybrid DNA.

This could also be the reason the InGen Spinosaurus can eat people, even though real ones are adapted to eat fish and likewise for all the other biological discrepancies in the series.

Frog DNA had nothing to do with the breeding dinosaur
In the novel version of The Lost World, nests actually seen by characters are the raptor nest, the maiasaur nest, and the...rex nest? Erm, T-Rex wasn't one of the dinos that Wu added frog DNA to, it was only the five species actually breeding. And how would the apatasaurs have managed to keep their herds at max size, given the prions killing them off if they can't breed? Or the mussasaur Levine saw shortly after he first arrived, or the young triceratops, or the fact that there are still dinosaurs around despite several carnivores eating them? Simple: The frog DNA wasn't a prerequisite, Grant just thought it was. He's been wrong before (noted by Ian and Levine). Probably the irradiation was either misaimed or ineffective, and the attempts at making all them female failed in some way based on dinosaur biology. The reason most of the other dino species didn't breed is likely either that there weren't any of one gender or the other by chance, or they weren't sufficiently mature to breed, or (for some species) either the irradiation or the genetic tinkering successfully made the dinos sterile. Regardless, the frog DNA couldn't have been the reason, unless undocumented frog DNA was added to the rexes.
  • Or maybe dinosaurs are like frogs, and can shift gender in certain situations, too, and because InGen didn't do much research into their genes they didn't find this. Also, in the book at least, the way that they made the dinosaurs sterile was by not providing them with certain nutrients in the egg. Assuming that dinos operated based on the XY sex chromosome system, they might have just had... um... dormant Y chromosomes. Or something.
  • It's also possible that the Site B dinos had their breeding capacity deliberately left intact, allowing In Gen's scientists to study their "natural" development in the name of refining the techniques used for stocking the theme park. (IIRC, the novel of The Lost World mentions that the cloning process has an incredibly high failure rate.)

The raptors were the true heroes of the first film.
After all, they did try to eat those goddamn annoying kids. The movie is in fact a tragedy, as the two characters that should have gotten eaten survived the entire thing.

The Raptors in the first film aren't evil; they're insane.
Raptors are highly intelligent and social animals but because the ones in Jurassic Park were clones, they had no older dinosaurs to socialize with. The scientists who bred them seemed to have little time for them once hatched so it can be safely assumed that they were left mostly to their own devices. Intelligent creatures need interaction though - Parrots (much less intelligent than the raptors are shown to be) will literally go insane if left in isolation for too long. So on Isla Nublar, you have a bunch of raptors who have had none of the rearing or socialization that intelligent pack animals need, compounded by living in a world that is alien to most of their instinctual knowledge. It's little wonder they turned into homicidal psychos. The population on Isla Sorna, on the other hand, growing mostly in the wild and breeding naturally for at least a generation or two, are much more like "real" Raptors. They attack when their territory is breached (Lost World) and when their offspring are stolen (JPIII) but they don't seek out either of those situations.
  • This is canon.

The Lost World is actually a subtle attack on animal right activism
They created Nick, member of an Animal Wrong Group, and made him responsible for all human deaths on the island. But instead of leading an open War On Straw and risking to recieve Strawman Has a Point reaction, they decided to be sneaky about it. They made him a protagonist and acted as if he was right, thus fueling the viewers' hatred for him.

The Frog DNA 'patch' inhibited feather growth.
  • And any other developments about dinosaur physiology we learn of as Science Marches On.
    • Word of God is that mutation is the canon reason for every discrepancy between the Park's dinosaurs and real life dinosaurs, whenever something new is found out, and that there was even some deliberate mutation on the geneticists' parts to make the dinosaurs more impressive for tourists.

Sarah Harding will reincarnate as Millburn in the film, Prometheus
In the events of The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Sarah makes a lot of really questionable decisions as a paleontologist, including getting up close and personal with wild animals and wanting to pet them. Close to a century later, she will reincarnate as Millburn, who goes on the Prometheus mission. In this incarnation, Harding just can't shake the desire to pet and make friends with wild animals, and tries the same trick with the Hammerpede. This time however, the desire kills her/him, and in a rather horrible way.

Mammoths will be in Jurassic Park 4
The Spinosaurus shows that Site B has more species than expected. If someone can get the DNA of a rare predator and create it in secret, who says that the same person could not go and steal a blood sample from a frozen Mammoth Carcass. True, you'd need a artificial Elephant Womb, but if you can make half a dinopedia's worth of species popular and obscure, how hard would it be to breed them?
  • Conceivably, mammoth DNA could be easier to get a hold of than dinosaur, since I think scientists have found at least one mostly intact mammoth frozen in ice.
  • So... Pleistocene Park?
  • They have now entered the JP world in Builder. I call foreshadowing!

All of the scientific errors weren't committed by the movie, but by the staff of Jurassic Park intentionally.
It's no secret that InGen wants to keep their ability to clone dinosaurs well, a secret. So perhaps the explanations given during the tour were red herrings meant to throw rival companies and scientists off of the trail of reproducing their success. Thus, Hammond and Wu are unreliable narrators, and any information about 'frog DNA' should be taken with a grain of salt.

Jurassic Park takes place in an alternate universe where the British Empire still exists
How else can you explain how there are so many rich British families and famous white hunters from East Africa?

Post-films, In Gen's technology was used by others for more "mundane" de-extinction and species-survival projects
Now that the world's seen two islands and "half a dinopedia's worth" of proof the cloning techniques work and just as much reason to wary about making anything else big and dangerous, why not clone that flock of condors? Or prevent Lonesome George from being the Last of His Kind? There might even be surviving geneticists who'd had My God, What Have I Done? moments after the Isla Nublar and San Diego incidents among them. And then maybe go for a baby steps route with de-extinction and have a zoo with passenger pigeons, thylacines and moas?
  • This is to say nothing of species that mankind is actively hunting to extinction. Imagine them cloning more tigers, more elephants, gorillas, pandas, etc. Of course it still doesn't tackle the ethical question that Malcolm raises, in that having hunted these creatures to near-extinction, do we have the right to bring them back, and is bringing them back as bad as hunting them to the death of the species? Would Malcolm have anything to say about Hammond bringing said animals back - would Hammond even be interested in doing so beyond bringing them up as a strawman argument?

Someone actually cared Dodgson was there
Nuff said.
JunoWMG/FilmJurassic Park III

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