Currently seeking a position as The Rival to someone with a Messiah Complex.
Services offered include but are not necessarily limited to:
- Package 1: Aloof Ally
- The default package, I'll team up with you from time to time
- Sixth Ranger: Sometimes five isn't enough. When you really need backup, this option is available. Limit
- Shoot the Dog: When you need an Anti-Hero, you get an Anti-Hero.
- The default package, I'll team up with you from time to time
- Package 2: Ineffectual Loner
- If you don't really need another crew member but still want a helping hand, here's a cheap alternative.
- The Worf Effect: Performing just poorly enough to make you look better by comparison.
- Let's Get Dangerous: Don't think this package requires you to sacrifice the dramatic conflict or unpredictable aid offered by other plans. Limit
- If you don't really need another crew member but still want a helping hand, here's a cheap alternative.
- Package 3: The Only One Allowed to Defeat You
- Looking for a real Worthy Opponent for a rival? Look no further! I'll make it my personal goal to defeat you.
- Enemy Mine: Limit 2 with basic plan. May upgrade to premium, or opt for Heel–Face Turn.
- I Am Your Opponent: Useful for escaping awkward social situations. Don't want to bother with the Giant Space Flea from Nowhere? Fight me instead - I'll handle the disposal.
- Looking for a real Worthy Opponent for a rival? Look no further! I'll make it my personal goal to defeat you.
- Package 4: Friendly Enemy
- If you just want a fight to the death without all the negativity, this is the plan for you.
- I Was Just Passing Through: In a tight spot and no friends around? Look for an enemy!
- Mid-Battle Tea Break: When you're feeling overwhelmed, the tea will always be ready.
- If you just want a fight to the death without all the negativity, this is the plan for you.
Entrance includes your choice of Cherry Blossoms, Dramatic Thunder, or Out of the Inferno (you provide the inferno). May optionally be accompanied by a threatening speech or suitably dramatic music.
Those interested in a contract should contact me directly.
Customer Feedback
All comments should be filed here for proper consideration.
Achievements:
I'm responsible for the existence of these pages:
Additionally, I provided rewrites for:
- Rhetorical Question Blunder (was a Wiki Trope, which has been moved)
- Food Chain of Evil (was written in a confusing way that made too big a deal about vampires)
And named:
