For Cryin' Out Loud
On the day of his execution, a prisoner eagerly runs to the electric chair and straps himself in, babbling crazily to himself until the guards throw the switch and electrocute him.
The episode then jumps two years into the past, where the prisoner - rock concert promoter Marty Slash (Lee Arenberg) - is having his ears checked by a doctor. Marty complains of hearing what sounds like a muffled voice in his head, but the doctor dismisses it as impaired hearing caused by years of exposure to loud music, giving Marty some swabs, gel, and drops for his eardrums. That night, Marty hosts a benefit concert (headlined by Iggy Pop), the latest in a series of shows that have raised $1 million to save the Amazon. Behind closed doors, however, Marty plans to steal the money and flee the country to get out of the music business. As he prepares to flee, the voice he complained about hearing becomes clear, revealing itself to be his conscience (voiced by Sam Kinison), then loudly and obnoxiously trying to persuade Marty to forget the plan.
While ranting to the voice that he's sick of being treated as a punching bag by rock stars and is stealing the money to be a big shot himself, Marty is interrupted by a groupie, who begins to seduce him. Saying that she has a "small matter to negotiate" with him, he reveals herself as Miss Kielbasa (Katey Sagal), his banker. She knows that Marty withdrew all the money from the Amazon account (as well as the fact that he never reciprocated her feelings for him) she offers to keep her mouth shut in exchange for half of the cash. Marty agrees to the deal, but as she counts out her share and the conscience picks up on his plans, Marty beats her to death with an electric guitar.
The conscience pleads with Marty as he stuffs Miss Kielbasa's body into a drum case, just before a police officer stops by to notify him about noise complaints that the neighbors have been filing. After the voice nearly blows his cover, Marty tries and drown it out by filling his ears with the medicated drops and jamming gel-covered cotton swabs into them. When these fail, he briefly considers shoving a sharpened pencil through his eardrum, but he comes to his senses and instead decides to leave the club with the money.
Getting funny looks from everyone he passes, Marty starts thinking that they can hear his conscience yelling about his crimes. He has the soundman turn the volume up to its highest level in a last-ditch effort to silence the voice and bangs his head against one of the speakers, eventually breaking it. When the police pull the plug on the show, Marty confesses to his embezzlement and the murder of Miss Kielbasa in front of the entire crowd, even giving the money back to them. He then slowly realizes that everyone was staring at him only because he had a broken cotton swab lodged in one ear. Marty's conscience muses that if he had just kept his mouth shut, he could have escaped with the cash after all.
The story jumps back to the present day, just before Marty's execution. He sits in his cell, now completely deaf, but still able to hear his conscience telling bad jokes in his head and driving him crazy. As the guards arrive to escort him to the electric chair, he frantically asks them if it's time to go, with his malevolent conscience asking what the hurry is before laughing maniacally.
Tropes:
- Actor Allusion: Marty's conscience is voiced by Sam Kinison, and it uses Kinison's famous "OH! OHHHHHH!" catchphrase on him as a form of torture when he refuses to confess his crimes.
- All for Nothing: Marty blabs about his plot and his killing of Miss Kielbasa in front of the whole crowd, thinking that they can hear his conscience. When we see that a swab is jammed in his ear, the conscience hints that the concert-goers could never hear it and he could've gotten away with the cash all along.
- As Himself: Iggy Pop headlines Marty's concert.
- Asshole Victim: Marty and Miss Kielbasa, the former bludgeoning the latter to death after she tries taking half of the charity money he was stealing, then getting arrested and sent to death, tortured by his conscience for two whole years.
- Ax-Crazy: Being stuck hearing his conscience and only his conscience for two years straight has not helped Marty's mental health.
- Bad People Abuse Animals: Marty's conscience notes that he once glued his dog's eyes shut when he was a kid.
- Bait-and-Switch: The episode opens with a shot of the electric chair, then the sight of prison guards and a priest walking towards it. We hear the crying and begging of Marty offscreen, thinking that he's pleading not to be killed. Then...Marty: (shoving the guards out of the way) Hurry up! LET'S DO IT!
- Blackmail Backfire: Ms. Kielbasa seriously underestimates the lengths Marty will go to to get his money.
- Chekhov's Gun: The cotton swabs Marty's doctor gives him at the (chronological) start of the episode.
- "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot:
- From the jump, Marty's conscience makes it clear that he needs to turn himself in and admit he was trying to steal the "Save the Amazon" money. Even when Miss Kielbasa shows up and blackmails Marty for half of it, the conscience tries to make Marty realize that he can still do the right thing.
- More bluntly towards the end. Once Marty discovers the swab puncturing his ear drum, the conscience lays the cards on the table:
Conscience: (as the realization hits Marty) Hey, Marty! Something just occurred to me! Do you think that's what everybody was looking at all the time? And they can never really hear me? Oh, Marty... That would mean if you had just kept your mouth shut, you coulda gotten away with it after all... - The Conscience: Marty's is portrayed as a loud and obnoxious voice that irritates him constantly after trying to get through to him for 38 years.
- Dead Man's Chest: After killing Miss Kielbasa, Marty shoves her body into a bass drum case belonging to Donny Osmond.
- Deadpan Snarker: Marty's conscience. It's what you get when Sam Kinison takes the role.
- Death Seeker: After being forced to hear only his conscience for two years, Marty is more than happy to sit in the electric chair.
- Denser and Wackier: The episode definitely travels down this route with the ever-hammy Marty and his equally hammy conscience, as well as the rock and roll soundtrack and the sound effects. Despite this, the plot is pretty straightforward.
- Ear Ache: Marty wound up puncturing his left eardrum by jamming a swab down his ear, to the point where blood dribbles out, to try and silence his conscience.
- Early-Bird Cameo: Miss Kielbasa can be seen in the audience as Marty gives his speech, watching him intently.
- Exact Words: When making his speech, Marty says that the "Save The Amazon" money is going where it's needed. By Marty's definition, that would be the "Marty Slash Retirement Fund".
- Fake Charity: Marty holds a benefit concert raising money to "Save the Amazon." He plans to pocket the accumulated cash for himself and flee to Portugal.
- Fake Nationality: In-Universe, Marty gets a white guy to portray an Amazonian chief who comes on stage. The guy isn't aware of Marty's scheme, and Marty justifies to him that the cost of flying in an actual Amazon would be too expensive.
- Fate Worse than Death: For two years, Marty has been left completely deaf... to the outside world, anyway. He can still hear his conscience, loud and clear.
- Foreshadowing: Notice how after Marty jams a bunch of swabs into his ears, we don't see the left side of his head again?
- Freudian Excuse: While arguing with his conscience, Marty rambles that he's sick and tired of having rock stars (who he's jealous of for being able to achieve huge success in a short time just by "playing three chords on a guitar") treating him as a gofer, so he's making off with the "Save the Amazon" profits to live like a bigshot himself.Marty: "Marty! Marty, these-these groupies are too ugly, Marty!" "Oh, Marty! This chicken isn't extra crispy enough, Marty!" "Marty, we told you we don't like red ones in the M&M bowl, MARTY"! For TWELVE YEARS, it's been "Marty" this and "Marty" that! And I got nothing to show for it, that is, until NOW!
- Freudian Slip: Marty's conscience keeps pressuring him to make these in front of the cop who investigates the noise complaints.Marty: Really, I had no idea that things had gotten this out of hand, okay? Y'see, I just, uh...
Conscience: Killed my banker!
Marty: I killed my banker- I killed my hearing, working in this fucking place. (nervous chuckling) - Genre Savvy: Marty's conscience knows full well where Marty's plan will get him, and it also calls him out for his more idiotic decisions.
- Good Is Not Nice: Marty's conscience tries to help him be a good person like a person's conscience should, trying to talk him out of stealing the charity money and pressuring him to admit to killing Miss Kielbasa. The problem is, while it does pressure him to do the right thing, the conscience mocks Marty and treats him like absolute shit at every opportunity, and ultimately forces him into confessing via a hefty dose of psychological torture.
- Go Out with a Smile: After two years of having to put up with his conscience tormenting him, Marty is all too ready to meet his maker. As he dies, his face fades into a smile, free at last.
- Gory Discretion Shot: Marty bashing Miss Kielbasa's head in with his Townshend guitar is intercut with shots of Iggy Pop thrashing onstage.
- Hearing Voices: How Marty's conscience manifests itself.
- Hell Is That Noise: The conscience's screaming drives Marty to insanity, especially when it brings out Kinison's trademark "OH! OHHHH!" scream to torture him.
- High-Voltage Death: Marty dies in the electric chair, and is incredibly eager to undergo it.
- How We Got Here / In Medias Res: The episode starts with Marty's execution, where he's unusually excited to get the shock treatment. After he gets electrocuted, the episode begins chronologically, explaining just how Marty became so deranged.
- I Warned You: Marty's conscience tells him that he should've suspected something was up with Miss Kielbasa when she reveals that she witnessed him pocket the charity money.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Despite how much of a relentless dick it is, Marty's conscience takes the time to tell him that everything he's doing is illegal.
- Large Ham: Marty lives and breathes ham during all his time on screen. His conscience is revealed to be an even bigger ham.
- Loser Protagonist: Marty has spent a good amount of his life being a loser, a punching bag, and a put-upon servant to tons of famous rock stars, so he decides to steal the "Save the Amazon" money to live like the bigshots he used to serve. Before he can escape with the cash, his conscience keeps getting into his head, making him believe that other people can hear it. He's arrested when he ends up tricked into blabbing about his crime and is subsequently rendered deaf by his own hand, tormented all the while by his wiseass conscience.
- Male Gaze: The first view of Miss Kielbasa is a closeup of her ample chest.
- Meaningful Name: Marty "Slash", appropriate for the rock and roll theme of the episode.
- Mistaken for Prostitute: Before she reveals her identity, Marty accuses Miss Kielbasa of being a hooker when she tells him that she has a "small matter to negotiate" with him.
- Morally Bankrupt Banker: Miss Kielbasa, who discovered Marty's plans to steal the charity money at the bank. In exchange for her silence (and as revenge for him never noticing her feelings for him), she blackmails Marty into splitting half of the cash with her.
- My Significance Sense Is Tingling: Before Marty finds Miss Kielbasa behind his door, the conscience tells him to put the money down because it can feel that something bad's about to happen.
- Noodle Incident: Marty's conscience brings up a few embarrassing details about Marty's past, which aren't given much context.Conscience: Boy, you let a kid get away with gluing the dog's eyes closed, next thing you know, he's stealing a million dollars in charity money.
- Oh, Crap!: Marty's conscience picks up that he's about to kill Ms. Kielbasa, and furiously tries to talk him out of it. It doesn't work.
- Pre-Mortem One-Liner: Right before Marty kills Miss Kielbasa, who wants half of the "Save the Amazon" money he's stealing in exchange for her silence:Marty: (while picking up a guitar) You know who gave me this guitar?
Ms. Kielbasa: No, who?
Marty: (raises the guitar over his head) Pete... TOWNSHEND! (bludgeons Ms. Kielbasa to death with the guitar) - Prison Rape: The conscience tries to talk Marty out of stealing the charity money by threatening that he'll be subjected to this if and when he's caught.Conscience: I know you have ambitions, Marty, but I don't think they include being gang-raped by the entire Aryan Nation's weightlifting club!
- Reasonable Authority Figure: The cop who shuts down Marty's concert, telling him that several neighbors have complained about the noise.
- Rimshot: One of them plays after the conscience cracks a joke about both itself and Marty having a problem with being "premature".
- Sanity Slippage: Marty gradually goes off the deep end thanks to his crimes and his relentless conscience. By the time of his execution, he's practically doing cartwheels into the chair.
- Seven Minute Lull: Subverted. The crowd goes silent just as Marty's conscience screams at him, but not because they heard it: he's just rammed his head through a speaker onstage and the cops have shut the concert down.
- Shout-Out:
- As said in the Pre-Mortem One-Liner, Marty says he got his guitar from Pete Townshend of The Who, just before he does his own Townshend impression on the back of Miss Kielbasa's skull.
- Miss Kielbasa's groupie disguise makes her resemble Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
- Marty's safe is hidden behind a poster of Alice Cooper.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Almost half of Iggy Pop's dialogue consists of F-bombs.
- Small Role, Big Impact: The doctor who gives Marty the swabs that set up the reveal.
- Squeaky Eyes: Marty's eyes do this when he's asked about where the money is.
- Suddenly Shouting: Marty's conscience does it all the time. Given that it's voiced by Sam Kinison, it's natural.
- Teeny Weenie: The conscience accuses Marty of having one when the disguised Miss Kielbasa brings out something rubbery and noticeably small.
- Wham Line: "Hey... what's that in your ear?"
- Wham Shot: After Marty makes his confession on stage, he winces in pain as the camera moves to the front of his head... where we see a bloody swab in his left ear.
