Quotes / Names to Run Away from Really Fast

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    Comic Books 

Your translator doohickey called him "annihilate" or "nihilism" or something. I mean, there's your frickin' clue train pulled right up to the station.
Ben Grimm on "Nihil", Ultimate Fantastic Four

Evening, gentlemen, we're from X-Factor. My codename is "Can Crush You with a Glance" Man. And this is my partner "Once Disemboweled a Fellow Just to Watch Him Die" Girl. Let's take ten seconds to consider why we're called that, and what it could mean for your long-term health prospects.
Guido Carousella, X-Factor #4

    Films — Live-Action 

I'm not called the Torturer because I don't torture people.
The Torturer, American Dreamz

Heydrich apparently hates the moniker the good people of Prague have bestowed on him. Actually, why he would hate the name "the Hangman" is baffling to me; it would appear he has done everything in his power to earn it. I, on the other hand, love my unofficial title.
Hans Landa the Jew Hunter, Inglourious Basterds

Fozzie: (reading from a buisness card) Dominic... Badguy?
Dominic Badguy: Bad-gee. It's french.

Let me introduce my associates. This is Mr. Broken Teeth, Mr. Ruptured Spleen, and my right-hand man, Mr. Rape Your Daughter With Assault Unless You Play Ball.

What kind of idiot would knowingly date a girl named Knives?
Ramona Flowers, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Major "Mad Dog" Hollister, isn't it? Sandy "Take No Prisoners" Charlesworth, SAS.
Water

    Literature 

Don't fear! Dark Apocalypse is here! ...Hello? (crowd runs away screaming)
— "Does This Cape Make Me Look Fat?", by Chelsea Cain and Marc Mohan

Wedge Antilles: Admiral, have you wondered why the Emperor gave such nasty names to his Star Destroyers? Executor, Agonizer, Iron Fist, Venom?
Teren Rogriss: I've heard every schoolboy theory proposed on that matter.
Wedge: This one comes from Luke Skywalker-
Rogriss: Having exhausted the schoolboys, we now turn to the farmboys? How charming.
Wedge: -who has a certain perspective on the matter the rest of us don't. He thinks it all has to do with corruption, with the seduction of the not-too-unwilling. [...] Put a man or woman in a situation where the actions he's obliged to take, such as serving Emperor Palpatine, are a certain path to personal corruption. Fill his ears with words saying that his actions are honorable ones. But surround him with constant reminders of the wrongness that he's doing. Our victim will cling to the words but will, at some level, always be aware of the wrongness - he can't escape it. The symbols, such as the names of the ships he commands, won't let him forget. He's always aware of his descent, of his slow transference to the dark side. Skywalker thinks the Emperor found this knowing acceptance of corruption, this half-accepting, half-struggling process, particularly delicious.

But still, it was hard not to worry about what would happen if Sermung ever fell. The Crystal Titan was a name that carried so much weight behind it. In some places, its mere utterance was enough to prevent war. And as long as those other names were out there—names like the Mad Demon, the Living Void, the Monster of the East, and the Salesman of Death—as long as those existed, the Crystal Titan seemed entirely needed.

    Live-Action TV 

Bloodmist: Poor, lost creature. Wandering, not knowing who or what you are. What is your name, lost one? Do you even know?
Rev Bem: My name is Brother Behemial Far-Traveller. I am a Wayist of the Sacred Order...
Bloodmist: Behemial Far-Traveller! That is a food name, not fit for a Harbinger of the Abyss. I asked you what your name is. The name your father gave you!
Rev Bem: RED PLAGUE!!!

Wanda: (flipping through the dentist section of the Yellow Pages) Dr. Hertz... Dr. Payne... Dr. Yankum...
Brent: Oh, you're making those names up.
Wanda: (shows him the phone book)
Brent: Wow. Dr. Payne. I think he fought Spider-Man.

Wilson: This guy's name is Weber, not von Lieberman!
House: I call Weber "von Lieberman." Way eviler.
House

If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum, you've strangled someone in a bar fight. That's just a fact.
John Oliver on Sepp Blatter, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

    Magazines 

What, was "Hitler von Killington" too subtle? How about "Sergeant Satanstein?"

    Radio 

Oh, tut tut tut. You're far too modest, Edwin. You have restored the name "Blackgaard" to a position of honor! Not an easy thing to do...
Dr. Regis Blackgaard, Adventures in Odyssey

    Theater 

My name from Adam Goodheart, you'll find
Is changed to Gideon Crawle
For a bad Bart's steward
Who heart is much too hard
Is always "Gideon Crawle"
Old Adam, Ruddigore

    Video Games 

I'd like to know who this "Corypheus" is. With a name like that he's bound to go "mwa-ha-hah!" at some point, I just know it.
Hawke, Dragon Age II "Legacy" DLC

Lord Yama the Vengeful? Wekehsa, in the future, you might want to refrain from stealing things belonging to anyone with "the Vengeful" in their name. You should also add "the cruel" and "the bloody" to that list.
Koss, Guild Wars

Alert! Class 12 psionic waveform detected. The Queen of Blades is inbound.

    Web Comics 

Maureen: Maybe Maxim is smart enough to sense danger and just leave.
(Gilligan Cut)
Maxim: "Haunted forest of painful agonizing death." That's a funny name. Wonder what it means...

    Web Original 

"Mephiles... badly tries to convince Shadow to join the dark side, to which Shadow clearly rejects because he's already had enough of that shit in the last game, and that THIS GUY'S NAME IS FUCKING MEPHILES. It might as well be Mephistopheles, or, better yet, the Devil.
Some Call Me Johnny regarding Mephiles from Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)

Then you fight "Dark Warrior." Oooh, scary name. How about "Death Guy" or "Mr. Kill?"

Man, Brain Business, I want to be sympathetic to your plight, but this is totally your fault for rooming with a guy named Darkness. It's right there in the name: If somebody asks you if you wanna move into an apartment owned by Darkness, you say "No, thanks - I'll just chip in and share a motel room with The Nothing." You don't lease a boat from Baron Fuckdestruction, you don't buy a used car from Azazel, King of the Void, and you don't "crash" with Darkness itself."

Hey, if you didn't want your kid to eventually be murdered by a man with a strong jawline and a penchant for puns, you shouldn't have named him shit like "Davros" to begin with.

Wiz: This man would emerge as the feared bounty hunter, "Sol Badguy".
Boomstick: So, he's clearly the bad guy?
Wiz: Actually, he's the main hero of the story.
Boomstick: W-wha- why would the-?...

REMEMBER: IF IT STARTS WITH "MOR," IT'S EVIL

Also on this ship is Commander Nefarious, Captain I'm-A-Bad-Guy, and Admiral Bone-to-Pick. But they don't mention them.
Mr. Plinkett reviews Revenge of the Sith, RedLetterMedia

Did they consider naming him Meanacing T. Badperson?

Walpurgisnacht is from German, translated literally as "Oh fuck me, RUN!!"

Isn't it funny how psychos have such unique names? This is questioned in Dark Ride, indeed why is it always Jeremiah, Elias, or Isaac? And if your surname happens to be Slaughter, Gore, Knifey, Cutty, or Carver then it appears you can skip that career aptitude normalizing test.

And in addition, he did all this with the most evil fucking name I've ever heard. Goge Vandire. Seriously, how could you ever trust a guy with that name. G-O-G-E VANDIRE. That name is just screaming "I'm gonna take your eye sockets and put my penis into them". I mean, fuck.
The Emperor of Mankind in the middle of a rant, If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device

That's a headline you never want to see: "Captain Murderstab has been released on parole".

    Western Animation 

Terry: By the way, what's the creepy lady's power?
Tamara: I'm not sure, but they call her "Bombshell."
Terry: Oh, that's encouraging.

I'm called Rampage now! A bit obvious, but to the point. Don't you think?
Protoform X Rampage, Beast Wars

If a guy named Foulfellow asks to take you to a place called Pleasure Island, don't go. I mean he's got the world "foul" right in his name.

    Real Life 

It was one of those comic book name coincidences, like how you know a college professor named Dr. Klaus von der Murder isn't going to be getting tenure.

I really understand wanting to build a robot army and threaten the UN. Heck, in a few years' time my actual name will be Doctor Trollman - at which point I think that I personally am required by dramatic law to put on a funky costume and cause and/or fight crime.
Frank Trollman


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