Quotes: Monster Clown

"What's the matter kid, don't you like clowns? Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cause I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your mama, and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fuckin' family."
Captain Spaulding, The Devil's Rejects

"What's a clown doing here? Everyone knows the only thing scarier than a horde of zombies is a clown. Behold the true face of fear!"
Zombieville USA 2

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and evil clowns."

"Few things are as hopelessly saturated with the stink of fear and death as a colorful, smiling clown. As my four-year-old son put it after having clowns explained to him: 'So clowns are supposed to be funny, but then they accidentally make you sad and afraid?'"

"You know... clowns can get away with murder!"
John Wayne Gacy (allegedly said to taunt police shortly before his arrest)

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."
Jack Handey

"Yes... They all float..." (referring to balloons and bodies in sewers)
"And when you're down here... with me... YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!"
Pennywise the Dancing Clown (played by the equally scary Tim Curry)

TC: and paint the wicked pictures with your motherfuckin blood.
TC: your crushed bones will make my special stardust.
Gamzee Makara, Homestuck

Napalm Man: The fact of the matter is that Kefka is nothing more than a glorified clown.
Cut Man: I believe you underestimate the sheer fear-inducing energy a clown possesses. Take The Joker for example. For starters, he was played by Jack Nicholson. That's kinda scary enough. Then he was played by Mark Hamill, the most evil voice actor in the world. To hell with acting, Mark Hamill WAS the Joker. Also, clowns with chainsaws? SCARY AS ALL HOLY HELL. That should be outlawed in every place on Earth. Ever. And look at Kefka himself. He looks like he fell off the insanity tree, hit every branch on the way down, then hit a trampoline, and hit them again.
Napalm Man: But Why would Emperor Ghestahl even have Kefka as a high-ranking member of the military if he looked like a clown?
Cut Man: When you're charging at your enemy, who's charging at you with their weapon drawn... who would you rather see? One of those evil Lord of the Rings orcs? Or an insane clown?

"There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight."
Lon Chaney, Sr.

"Take the Carnival. Look at 'em, they're really scary. There's nothing more terrifying than a homicidal female clown with a tambourine."
Superball, Registered Hero, Paragon City

"Why so serious? ...Let's put a smile on that face!"

"Her pink face was painted pale white, except around her eyes where the white was disrupted by inky black circles. A sloppily painted teardrop decorated her left cheek ó but Pinstripe hardly noticed it, or the tinge of green now coloring the ends of her tangled mane.

"He was busy staring at her scars."
Pagliacci, Chapter 2

"You were a wonderful clown once. Inventive, funny, outrageous."
Bellboy, in The Greatest Show in the Galaxy, to the Chief Clown, now Chief Collaborator with the Gods of Ragnarok and increasingly sadistic.

"Clown smash!"
Protoclown, The Tick

The clown from Toaster's nightmare, The Brave Little Toaster

"Nicer the man, meaner the clown."
Winston the Clown, The Pilo Family Circus

"And laughter rose from the circus tent as the clowns drove on in their happy jalopy and gave balloons to the children, and when they left there were smiles on the faces of nearly all those in the audience, except for the very clever children who sensed that there was more to clowns than bright suits and funny cars and oversized feet, and that if you were wise you didn't laugh at them, and you stayed out of their way, and you never pryed into their business, for clowns are lonely and angry and want company in their misery. They are always seeking, always searching for new clowns to join them..."
Some Children Wander By Mistake

"With Krinkles the Clown as the mascot, every serving of Sugar Krinkles now had the vitamins and minerals of one handful of flesh and the fear you need to get you going in the morning. The prize inside every box was whispers. Whenever you lost a kitchen knife in 1969, you would somehow always find it inside New Post's Sugar Krinkles. The side of the box had photos of missing children, but each of them was labeled "Ingredients. Sugar Krinkles was eventually pulled from the shelf, but Krinkles the Clown continued to find work. He now appears in mirrors every time you look away from them."

"And there's this clown... but it's not a very funny clown. He made me realize why I'm so afraid of clowns. [...] He is a psychopathic clown with deep psychological issues who looks like he put on his grandmother's makeup wrong."

"What's the matter kid, don't you like clowns? Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cause I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your mama, and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fuckin' family."
Captain Spaulding, The Devils Rejects

Batman/Terry McGinnis: What can you tell me about clowns, Commissioner?
Commissioner Barbara Gordon: In this town, they're never funny.

This used to be a funhouse,
But now it's full of evil clowns.
It's time to start the countdown;
I'm gonna burn it down, down,
I'm gonna burn it down.
P!nk, "Funhouse"

Brienne of Tarth: You are no better than the rest of them. You have robbed and raped and murdered.
Shagwell the Fool: Oh, I have, I have, I shanít deny it...but Iím amusing, with all my japes and capers. I make men laugh.
Brienne of Tarth: And women weep.
Shagwell the Fool: Is that my fault? Women have no sense of humor.

Nate: What do you think parents are most afraid of?
Parker: Clowns.
Nate: No.
Parker: Evil clowns?
Nate: No, Parker.
Parker: Crazy clowns called Geegee who whisper your name from under your bed?
Nate: (beat) No.
Leverage. "The Toy Job"

"Nozo produces a variety of cartoonish sproings, boings, honks, cuckoos, hee-haws, quacks, giggles, and bloodcurdling screams of hellish agony to keep children amused."
Description of (who else?) Nozo, Mortasheen