"Gods are above living things, which doesn't necessarily mean we care about them."
— Hades, Kid Icarus: Uprising
"Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share Their power with mankind."
— Lex Luthor, Superman Returns
"The Lord of Light wants his enemies burned. The Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious cunts? Where's the god of tits and wine?"
— Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones
"This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend, when the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering."
Guardian of the Park: *After a giant concrete mascot changes direction in midair, saving a girl* The power of the gods! The power of the gods saved that little girl!
Sissel: ...And then that same power very deliberately crushed you instead?
And Zeus said, "No,
You better let me
Use my lightening, like scissors,
Like I cut the legs off the whales
And dinosaurs into lizards."
Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh,
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle.
Gonna cut them right up in half."
— Hedwig and the Angry Inch, "The Origin of Love"
Gods ain't gonna help you, son
You'll be sorry for what you done.
Them gods gonna hurt you, son
When you play with a loaded gun.
They ain't gonna catch you when you fall.
You'll be pleading
While you're bleeding.
— Bastion The Pantheon (Ain't Gonna Catch You)
God: "WHAT DO YOU ASK OF GOD, PUNPUN?"
PunPun: "Is there any way for mom and did to be nice to each other again?"
God: "YOU KNOW, PAL, GOD'S GETTING KIND OF TIRED OF THIS TOPIC."
Now, there is a big difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament, and that is the New Testament God is really kind of a great guy. He is, especially when you compare him to the Old Testament God, who is a prick. I don't know what happened to God over time, how he matured, if he went to an anger management class, or maybe just the birth of his son calmed him down. But before he had the kid, holy fuck he was out of control.
— Lewis Black, Red, White and Screwed