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Quotes: Jerkass Gods
And Zeus said, "No,
You better let me
Use my lightening, like scissors,
Like I cut the legs off the whales
And dinosaurs into lizards."
Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh,
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle.
Gonna cut them right up in half."
Hedwig and the Angry Inch, "The Origin of Love"

Gods ain't gonna help you, son
You'll be sorry for what you done.
Them gods gonna hurt you, son
When you play with a loaded gun.
They ain't gonna catch you when you fall.
You'll be pleading
While you're bleeding.
Bastion The Pantheon (Ain't Gonna Catch You)

"Gods are above living things, which doesn't necessarily mean we care about them."

"Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share Their power with mankind."
Lex Luthor, Superman Returns

"The Lord of Light wants his enemies burned. The Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the gods such vicious cunts? Where's the god of tits and wine?"
Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones

Seth: Died instantly?
Jacob: Not quite. She was trapped in the wreck for about six hours before she passed on.
Seth: Yeah, those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don't they?
Jacob: Yes, they do.

"This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend, when the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering."

Guardian of the Park: *After a giant concrete mascot changes direction in midair, saving a girl* The power of the gods! The power of the gods saved that little girl!
Sissel: ...And then that same power very deliberately crushed you instead?

God: "WHAT DO YOU ASK OF GOD, PUNPUN?"
PunPun: "Is there any way for mom and did to be nice to each other again?"
God: "YOU KNOW, PAL, GOD'S GETTING KIND OF TIRED OF THIS TOPIC."

"Now, there is a big difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament, and that is the New Testament God is really kind of a great guy. He is, especially when you compare him to the Old Testament God, who is a prick. I don't know what happened to God over time, how he matured, if he went to an anger management class, or maybe just the birth of his son calmed him down. But before he had the kid, holy fuck he was out of control."
Lewis Black, Red, White and Screwed

"The Greeks got it right, the Greeks understood perfectly that if there were divine beings, they are capricious, unkind, malicious, temperamental, envious, and mostly deeply unpleasant."

"God in this movie is a dick. The movie is supposed to be about Evan being some major asshole and through his experience of building the ark he is supposed to get his comeuppance and grow as a person. In some cases like The Santa Clause that works... But God in this movie takes it upon himself to personally f*ck over Evan taking away his job, money, friends, associates, and also to punish him in a myriad of ways for his own personal jollies. Evan really doesn’t deserve all this crap and it is odd that I feel sorry for this sad pathetic man who really doesn’t deserve a tenth of what he is really getting. That’s not the sign of a good movie is it? Feeling bad for the person who is supposedly getting their much deserved lesson/comeuppance? If I were being a real prick, I would ask why God is saving some 20 people from a flood in the suburbs and he let Katrina go no problem?"

"'Hell take me?' It is a saying from my village and the region about. These Deathless are the gods; they claim to rule the earth and the heavens. And so, when we die, we wish for a place where they are not. Better the pains of hell than living in heaven beneath the Deathless."
Siris, Infinity Blade: Awakening

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