Quotes / Insult to Rocks

Anime and Manga

I guess I just don't know what to call you. I was thinking about "monster", but I didn't want to insult the cards.
Yami, Yu-Gi-Oh! 4kids dub, Pegasus Island arc.


To say that [Rude Trevor Vargas] was an intemperate, murderous lunatic would wound the feelings of most intemperate, murderous lunatics.


I don't know what car wash you worked before you came here that let you stroll in in 20 minutes late, but it wasn't owned by me, and I own a fuckin' car wash!
Larry, Kill Bill Vol. 2

Otto: Don't call me stupid!
Wanda: Oh right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Live-action TV

Wyatt Cenac: If they're not as evil as I think they are, they are STUPID. We're talkin' potatoes with mouths.
John Oliver: Not even potatoes, Wyatt; a potato can still power a digital clock.
The Daily Show, "The Parent Company Trap" (debating whether Fox News is stupid or evil)

Harrow: I know him, and I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.
— "Shindig", Firefly

Julia, on the other hand, is such a non-entity out here. Iím tempted to say she has a vanilla personality, but I feel like that would be doing a great disservice to the flavor vanilla. I mean, people actively seek out vanilla-flavored products. Children clamor to get a vanilla ice cream cone. Nobody is clamoring for anything Julia-flavored.

Ian Chesterton: You're treating us like children!
The Doctor: Am I? The children of my civilisation would be insulted.


To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes.

Tabletop Games

I would say that our Bureaucrats are no better than vipers— but I shouldn't insult the vipers.
Murat, Death Speaker; Flavour text for the Aysen Bureaucrats Magic: The Gathering card.

Web Animation

The first attempt at a 3D Prince of Persia was the predictably-named Prince of Persia 3D, technically a Tomb Raider clone in the same sense that a bucket of mushy peas and old twigs is technically 'food.'

Web Original

To call this a victory is like calling a lobster attack a handjob— inaccurate and demeaning to everything involved.

Tom Coughlin. Still. Christ. I would say the Giants need new blood, but that suggests old blood is currently running through Coughlin's circulatory system, which is not true. Coughlin's veins are stuffed with old hair tonic and axle grease.
Drew McGary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New York Giants"

Everyone apologize to Ernie Cline for the "ARMADA is everything wrong with gamer culture" takedown — should saved that bullet for PIXELS

Another [reviewer mentioned] this movie was 2001 for Retards. That may have been giving it too much credit. This is like Contact for retards. No, thatís giving it too much credit too because I really like Contact. This is like Fire Maidens from Outer Space for dummies.

Like Stargate Ďbut with better actingí Ė featuring McCoy and Aldred at their worst tackling a script that would have been tossed in the bin of the Stargate production office, you were just asking for trouble with this line. I donít even like Stargate a great deal but its consistent mediocrity is far superior to this slop.
Joe Ford on Big Finish Doctor Who, The Rapture

David: I canít wait for ďI guess you could say I got killed byÖ curiosity.Ē
Chris: That line is actually too good for this movie.
—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Catwoman

I would say this movie officially has porno logic, but pornography often does a much better job than this.
ComicsAlliance on Barb Wire

Following a discussion of what to turn into, including a debate on whether humans or cats are the dominant species on the planet, we see the emergence of our heroes, Anna Nicole and two more of the skankiest skanks this side of a Diva Search.

Actually, I take that back — at least the crack hoes WWE finds are somewhat attractive.

These three look like rejects at a Boise gold club amateurs night.

This was just Ö irredeemable. I really, really doubt Iíll see anything dumber on television this year, unless I start watching Jersey Shore. And even then it might not get dethroned.
Smallvillains on Smallville ("Collateral")

I remember saying, back in the day, that Fifty Shades of Grey was like Atlas Shrugged but stupider, and with added abusive sex.

Iím sorry to say, I did Fifty Shades of Grey a grave injustice.

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian started shopping around their own reality shit show a few months ago and somebody actually bought it and surprisingly that somebody wasnít Animal Planet. No offense to the animals of Animal Planet.

Ok, letís be frankly honest. Todayís post isnít shooting fish in a barrel, itís shooting fish in a barrel with a fucking rocket launcher that is loaded with fish-seeking rockets and the entire barrel is loaded with land-mines and the fish are genetically engineered to jump towards weapon fire.

"I am waiting on bated breath for your answer you sorry sack of lizard vomit. Oh, wait, that is demeaning to the lizard that projectile vomited all over me last week."
Alyrium Denryle during an argument regarding Prop 8, StarDestroyer.net

Web Video

The only reason this film is not a sack of shit is that actual sacks of shit protested that the comparison would be harmful to their image.

It's like a live-action version of Streets of Rage — only less serious.
Good Bad Flicks and Allison Pregler on Lethal (2005)

This movie is so fucking awful, that comparing it to Uwe Boll is an insult to Uwe Boll!

If you thought Twilight was the worst disservice to vampires the world has ever known, [beat] —it is, but this one's pretty bad, too.

I could have taken a shit on it, but even my own shit would be offended to lay on this loathsome piece of filth!

You know that South Park episode where they claim Family Guy is written by manatees?'' The manatees should be insulted!

Western Animation

Moe: What are you telling us? We're trapped like rats?
Russ Cargill: No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... (considers) carrots.