Quotes / Incompatible Orientation

She got that smile
And that body is to die for
One of a kind
And that's why it makes me cry

'Cause I found a girl
Who's in love with a girl
She said that she tried
But she's not into guys
—"I Found A Girl", The Vamps

I long for you to hold me like your boyfriend does
And though my dream is slowly fading
I want to be the object of your passion
But it's hopeless
—"Malchik Gay", T.A.T.U.

Renee Montoya: Harvey, you outed me! I'm gay! I'm a dyke, a lesbian, I like girls! Didn't you look at the picture before you started sending it around?
Harvey Dent / Two-Face: Yeah, I know all that. I don't see what that has to do with us. Renee, you have nothing to go back to. I made certain of that. You're staying with me, now. And I can make you whole.

Kurt: You should be thanking me. All I did was to make you realize that your school-girl fantasy of running off with Finn was nothing more than a fairy-tale.
Rachel: ...(Realizing) You like him. That is what this is. And you were just trying to eliminate the competition.
Kurt: I was just helping him understand that you are not a viable second choice!
Rachel: You think I am living in a fairy-tale?! If I was second, or fiftieth, I would still be ahead of you, because I am a girl!
Glee

Blaine is the first of many men you'll date who will turn out to be the most flaming of homosexuals!
Kurt to Rachel, Glee again note 

Karolina: I'm so sorry. Am...am I moving too fast?
Nico: Yes! No! I mean, you shouldn't be moving in that direction at all!
Karolina: But after Alex, you...you said you were done with boys forever.
Nico: I am! But that doesn't mean I'm suddenly into...Wait, you're into girls?
Karolina: Yes? Well, not all of them. Aren't you?
Nico: No! I...I don't think so. I just want to be alone right now, okay? I don't understand this need for people to automatically have to pair up with someone, that's all.

That won't last. He's gay and she's an alien.
The Doctor flipping through a magazine, Doctor Who, "Rose"

Love you. Miss you. Wish you weren't queer.

Fem!Shepard: Hey. What's happening?
Jack: You got a lot of questions, hasn't you?
Fem!Shepard: I miss your friendly nature when you're not around.
Jack: I've been thinking. We have seen a lot of shit together you and I. And you always come down to talk to me. It's just... I'm not really a "Girls Club Type"-person. I like you, alright? That's a good place to stop.

Have you ever considered dating an actual lesbian?
Robin Desanto to Leslie Bean, Shortpacked!

Let me see what you wrote about yourself. Doctor of paleontology, two kids...wait a second, you split with Carol because you had "different interests"? I think you split with Carol because you had one very similar interest.
Chandler to Ross, Friends

Russ: I'm basically a lesbian in a man's body.
Saffron: What????
[...]
Russ: Well, every girl I like turns out to be a lesbian.
Saffron: Said no lesbian. Ever. In the history of the universe.

She wears my clothes sometimes. I dress her up so she can go on dates with a boy. Only Himeko could be so oblivious to the fact that he's smitten with her, even though she's smitten with him too. She likes boys, and they like her. They look at her and see a girl to marry, a girl to cook and clean for them while they stay late at work, sleeping with their secretaries. She likes girls too, but not in that way. Not like I like girls. Not like I love her.
Chikane, narrating Please Don't Scream, a Kannazuki no Miko fic note 

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian,
I thought I had found the one
...
Everyone's a little queer -
Why can't she be a little straight?
— "Pink Triangle", Weezer

Courtney: So, I was thinking, maybe we could catch a movie sometime. Nothing scary.
Mitch: That sounds great, Cathy. You know, you're gonna love my boyfriend. He's, like, a total Chick Flick nut.

'Tell you in my arms is where you belong
But I know that you can't change someone
So I'll just leave you alone
Although I wish you liked...
Girls, girls, girls
I wish you liked girls, girls, girls
Girls like me
"I Wish You Liked Girls", Abbey Glover

Maximilien: You and Albert were the closest friends, even when you were young children, weren't you?
Franz: Yeah.
Maximilien: Mademoiselle Valentine told me all about it. She told me that she's always been jealous of how close you two are, and how she wishes she had the same thing in her life.
Franz: It's just because we've known each other for so long.
Maximilien: You know, I don't think it's just because you're old friends.
Franz: Huh?
Maximilien: I somehow... get the distinct impression that you share a special bond that no one else can understand.
Franz: Speaking of sharing special bonds, how long have you desired Valentine?
Maximilien: Well, that's a rather awkward question to be asked by her fiancé.
Franz: Oh. Of course, you're right. I'm sorry.
Maximilien: No. Don't be. I'm the one who's at fault here.
Franz: But... if you truly love her, then that should be all that matters.
Maximilien: There you go, saying such irresponsible things yet again...
Franz: Irresponsible? Well... I suppose it is.
Maximilien: This is all very strange to me, Franz. Why is it that you can't love Mademoiselle Valentine? She is your fiancée.
Franz: Yeah, and what about you? Will you stop loving her just because you can't marry her?
Maximilien: Well, I, ah...
Franz: You can't, can you? You can't simply fall out of love. Even if the relationship is such that you can't marry the person, no matter what you desire.
Maximilien: Are you saying that you harbor a hopeless love for someone, too?
Franz: Getting married isn't necessarily the only way to bring the person happiness. Don't you think?
Maximilien: I hadn't thought of that... Maybe you're right about that, Franz.
Franz: Valentine's found herself a great guy.

Kung Jin: You face a Shaolin.
Tanya: Quite a handsome Shaolin.
Kung Jin: Barking up the wrong tree, sister.
Straight Gay Kung Jin resists Tanya's manipulative Femme Fatale charms, Mortal Kombat X

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/IncompatibleOrientation