I long for you to hold me like your boyfriend does
And though my dream is slowly fading
I want to be the object of your passion
But it's hopeless
—"Malchik Gay", T.A.T.U.
Renee Montoya: Harvey, you outed me! I'm gay! I'm a dyke, a lesbian, I like girls! Didn't you look at the picture before you started sending it around?
Harvey Dent / Two-Face: Yeah, I know all that. I don't see what that has to do with us. Renee, you have nothing to go back to. I made certain of that. You're staying with me, now. And I can make you whole.
Kurt: You should be thanking me. All I did was to make you realize that your school-girl fantasy of running off with Finn was nothing more than a fairy-tale.
Rachel: ...(Realizing) You like him. That is what this is. And you were just trying to eliminate the competition.
Kurt: I was just helping him understand that you are not a viable second choice!
Rachel: You think I am living in a fairy-tale?! If I was second, or fiftieth, I would still be ahead of you, because I am a girl!
Blaine is the first of many men you'll date who will turn out to be the most flaming of homosexuals!
Kurt to Rachel, Glee again note
Nico: What are you doing?
Karolina: I'm so sorry. Am...am I moving too fast?
Nico: Yes! No! I mean, you shouldn't be moving in that direction at all!
Karolina: But after Alex, you...you said you were done with boys forever.
Nico: I am! But that doesn't mean I'm suddenly into...Wait, you're into girls?
Karolina: Yes? Well, not all of them. Aren't you?
Nico: No! I...I don't think so. I just want to be alone right now, okay? I don't understand this need for people to automatically have to pair up with someone, that's all.
That won't last. He's gay and she's an alien.
— The Doctor flipping through a magazine, Doctor Who, "Rose"
Love you. Miss you. Wish you weren't queer.
Fem!Shepard: Hey. What's happening?
Jack: You got a lot of questions, hasn't you?
Fem!Shepard: I miss your friendly nature when you're not around.
Jack: I've been thinking. We have seen a lot of shit together you and I. And you always come down to talk to me. It's just... I'm not really a "Girls Club Type"-person. I like you, alright? That's a good place to stop.
Let me see what you wrote about yourself. Doctor of paleontology, two kids...wait a second, you split with Carol because you had "different interests"? I think you split with Carol because you had one *very similar* interest.
—Chandler to Ross, Friends
Russ: I'm basically a lesbian in a man's body.
Russ: Well, every girl I like turns out to be a lesbian.
Saffron: Said no lesbian. Ever. In the history of the universe.
She wears my clothes sometimes. I dress her up so she can go on dates with a boy. Only Himeko could be so oblivious to the fact that he's smitten with her, even though she's smitten with him too. She likes boys, and they like her. They look at her and see a girl to marry, a girl to cook and clean for them while they stay late at work, sleeping with their secretaries. She likes girls too, but not in that way. Not like I like girls. Not like I love her.
I'm dumb, she's a lesbian,
I thought I had found the one
Everyone's a little queer -
Why can't she be a little straight?
— "Pink Triangle" - Weezer