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Maximilien: You and Albert were the closest friends, even when you were young children, weren't you?
Franz: Yeah.
Maximilien: Mademoiselle Valentine told me all about it. She told me that she's always been jealous of how close you two are, and how she wishes she had the same thing in her life.
Franz: It's just because we've known each other for so long.
Maximilien: You know, I don't think it's just because you're old friends.
Franz: Huh?
Maximilien: I somehow... get the distinct impression that you share a special bond that no one else can understand.
Franz: Speaking of sharing special bonds, how long have you desired Valentine?
Maximilien: Well, that's a rather awkward question to be asked by her fiancé.
Franz: Oh. Of course, you're right. I'm sorry.
Maximilien: No. Don't be. I'm the one who's at fault here.
Franz: But... if you truly love her, then that should be all that matters.
Maximilien: There you go, saying such irresponsible things yet again...
Franz: Irresponsible? Well... I suppose it is.
Maximilien: This is all very strange to me, Franz. Why is it that you can't love Mademoiselle Valentine? She is your fiancée.
Franz: Yeah, and what about you? Will you stop loving her just because you can't marry her?
Maximilien: Well, I, ah...
Franz: You can't, can you? You can't simply fall out of love. Even if the relationship is such that you can't marry the person, no matter what you desire.
Maximilien: Are you saying that you harbor a hopeless love for someone, too?
Franz: Getting married isn't necessarily the only way to bring the person happiness. Don't you think?
Maximilien: I hadn't thought of that... Maybe you're right about that, Franz.
Franz: Valentine's found herself a great guy.
Franz: Yeah.
Maximilien: Mademoiselle Valentine told me all about it. She told me that she's always been jealous of how close you two are, and how she wishes she had the same thing in her life.
Franz: It's just because we've known each other for so long.
Maximilien: You know, I don't think it's just because you're old friends.
Franz: Huh?
Maximilien: I somehow... get the distinct impression that you share a special bond that no one else can understand.
Franz: Speaking of sharing special bonds, how long have you desired Valentine?
Maximilien: Well, that's a rather awkward question to be asked by her fiancé.
Franz: Oh. Of course, you're right. I'm sorry.
Maximilien: No. Don't be. I'm the one who's at fault here.
Franz: But... if you truly love her, then that should be all that matters.
Maximilien: There you go, saying such irresponsible things yet again...
Franz: Irresponsible? Well... I suppose it is.
Maximilien: This is all very strange to me, Franz. Why is it that you can't love Mademoiselle Valentine? She is your fiancée.
Franz: Yeah, and what about you? Will you stop loving her just because you can't marry her?
Maximilien: Well, I, ah...
Franz: You can't, can you? You can't simply fall out of love. Even if the relationship is such that you can't marry the person, no matter what you desire.
Maximilien: Are you saying that you harbor a hopeless love for someone, too?
Franz: Getting married isn't necessarily the only way to bring the person happiness. Don't you think?
Maximilien: I hadn't thought of that... Maybe you're right about that, Franz.
Franz: Valentine's found herself a great guy.
Kishibe: I love you...
Quanxi: I realized something recently... I.. I think... I love women...
Kishibe: I know...
Quanxi: I realized something recently... I.. I think... I love women...
Kishibe: I know...
Comic Books
Renee Montoya: Harvey, you outed me! I'm gay! I'm a dyke, a lesbian, I like girls! Didn't you look at the picture before you started sending it around?
Harvey Dent / Two-Face: Yeah, I know all that. I don't see what that has to do with us. Renee, you have nothing to go back to. I made certain of that. You're staying with me, now. And I can make you whole.
Nico: What are you doing?
Karolina: I'm so sorry. Am...am I moving too fast?
Nico: Yes! No! I mean, you shouldn't be moving in that direction at all!
Karolina: But after Alex, you...you said you were done with boys forever.
Nico: I am! But that doesn't mean I'm suddenly into...Wait, you're into girls?
Karolina: Yes? Well, not all of them. Aren't you?
Nico: No! I...I don't think so. I just want to be alone right now, okay? I don't understand this need for people to automatically have to pair up with someone, that's all.
— Runaways
Jughead: I don't go on dates, Sabrina. I don't like people that way, you know? And when you asked me out, I didn't realize it was a date until it was too late.
Sabrina: ...Oh.
Jughead: I should've explained the situation, but instead I went along with it and kept... You know, trying to escape. And that wasn't fair to you, and I'm sorry. My judgement was clouded by the fact that, on some primal and fundamental level, all I really want to do is hang out with a giant talking hamburger. And I know that about myself now. And I accept it gladly.
Fan Works
She wears my clothes sometimes. I dress her up so she can go on dates with a boy. Only Himeko could be so oblivious to the fact that he's smitten with her, even though she's smitten with him too. She likes boys, and they like her. They look at her and see a girl to marry, a girl to cook and clean for them while they stay late at work, sleeping with their secretaries. She likes girls too, but not in that way. Not like I like girls. Not like I love her.
Brock: "Who was that?" Your boyfriend?
Erika: "Oh, of course not. That was Sabrina."
Brock: "Sabrina! You mean, you-"
Erika: "Yes, I am a lesbian. Didn't you already know that?"
Erika: "Oh, of course not. That was Sabrina."
Brock: "Sabrina! You mean, you-"
Erika: "Yes, I am a lesbian. Didn't you already know that?"
Too bad she prefers blokes!
— Old Lady, The Nightmare House
Film — Animation
Courtney: So, I was thinking, maybe we could catch a movie sometime. Nothing scary.
Mitch: That sounds great, Cathy. You know, you're gonna love my boyfriend. He's, like, a total Chick Flick nut.
Mitch: That sounds great, Cathy. You know, you're gonna love my boyfriend. He's, like, a total Chick Flick nut.
Film — Live-Action
Conchita: I'm sorry, I want to sleep with Mr. Humphries. He will make me happy.
Miss Brahms: Yes, you'll be lucky.
Holden: I love you.
Alyssa: (beat) You love me.
Holden: I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But—I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't—I can't look into your eyes without feeling that—that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know, this will probably queer our friendship—no pun intended—but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I-I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But, God, I just—I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something, too. And all I ask, please, is that you just—you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which—while I do appreciate it—I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.
Alyssa: (leaves)
Holden: Oh shit. Was it something I said?
Alyssa: Get back in the car and get the hell out of here!
Holden: Aren't you at least, going to comment?
Alyssa: Here's my comment: fuck you!
Holden: Why?
Alyssa: That was so unfair! You know how unfair that was!
Alyssa: No, it's unfortunate that you're in love with me. It's unfair that you felt the fucking need to unburden your soul about it! Do you remember for one fucking second who I am?!
Holden: So? I mean, you know, people change.
Alyssa: Oh, it's that simple? You fall in love with me and want a romantic relationship, nothing changes for you! With the exception of feeling hunky-dory all the time, but what about me, Holden?! It's not that simple! I just can't get into a relationship with you without throwing my whole fucking world into upheaval!
Holden: Alyssa, that's every relationship! There's always going to be a period of adjustment.
Alyssa: "Period of adjustment"?!? (hitting him) THERE'S NO PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT, HOLDEN! I AM FUCKING GAY! THAT'S WHO I AM! AND YOU ASSUME THAT I CAN JUST TURN THAT AROUND JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT A FUCKING CRUSH?! (music stops)
Holden: If this is a crush... then I don't know if I could take the real thing if it ever happens.
Alyssa: Go home, Holden. (walks away)
Emily Montgomery: Is everybody gay? Is this a Twilight Zone?!
— In & Out
Live-Action TV
Kurt: You should be thanking me. All I did was to make you realize that your school-girl fantasy of running off with Finn was nothing more than a fairy-tale.
Rachel: ...(Realizing) You like him. That is what this is. And you were just trying to eliminate the competition.
Kurt: I was just helping him understand that you are not a viable second choice!
Rachel: You think I am living in a fairy-tale?! If I was second, or fiftieth, I would still be ahead of you, because I am a girl!
—Glee
Blaine is the first of many men you'll date who will turn out to be the most flaming of homosexuals!
—Kurt to Rachel, Glee
That won't last. He's gay and she's an alien.
— The Doctor flipping through a magazine, Doctor Who, "Rose"
Fella in Livingstone went sweet on me. Finnish fella from Finland, hardly spoke fucking English. Brought me flowers and some dry food they like there. And, uh, one night, he takes my arm and he starts in and he, uh, whispers in his Finland accent, "I want to suck your cock!"
Let me see what you wrote about yourself. Doctor of paleontology, two kids...wait a second, you split with Carol because you had "different interests"? I think you split with Carol because you had one very similar interest.
—Chandler to Ross, Friends
"I don't wanna be the gay girl that asks out the straight girl! That's such a trope."
— Elena, One Day at a Time (2017)
Bo: I just...love a man in uniform...
Security Guard: (fake Camp Gay voice) Honey, me too!
Security Guard: (fake Camp Gay voice) Honey, me too!
Grace: When you and I broke up it was for different reasons. I wanted to raise the kids Jewish, you wanted to sleep with men.
Will: I do enjoy that.
Will: I do enjoy that.
Hugh: "Uh... you do realise he's gay, right?"
Georgiou: "Don't be so binary— in my universe, Stamets was bisexual!"
Stamets: "Well, in this universe, I'm gay! And so is he!"
Abby Perkins: “I like men.”
C.J. Lamb: “So do I.”
Abby Perkins: “Oh? So that means you’re… uh…”
C.J. Lamb: “Flexible?”
Abby Perkins : “I see.”
C.J. Lamb: “So do I.”
Abby Perkins: “Oh? So that means you’re… uh…”
C.J. Lamb: “Flexible?”
Abby Perkins : “I see.”
— L.A. Law, episode "Three's A Crowd"
Betty: After thinking about it, I realized this has been the problem with us the whole time. Kevin likes boys.
— Riverdale, episode "Love & Marriage"
Music
She got that smile
And that body is to die for
One of a kind
And that's why it makes me cry
'Cause I found a girl
Who's in love with a girl
She said that she tried
But she's not into guys
—"I Found A Girl", The Vamps
I long for you to hold me like your boyfriend does
And though my dream is slowly fading
I want to be the object of your passion
But it's hopeless
—"Malchik Gay", t.A.T.u.
I'm dumb, she's a lesbian,
I thought I had found the one
...
Everyone's a little queer -
Why can't she be a little straight?
— "Pink Triangle", Weezer
'Tell you in my arms is where you belong
But I know that you can't change someone
So I'll just leave you alone
Although I wish you liked...
Girls, girls, girls
I wish you liked girls, girls, girls
Girls like me
"I Wish You Liked Girls", Abbey Glover
I like you girl, but you don't seem excited
Since she walked in where has your mind been?
You're talking to me, but thinking 'bout her
Your secret is safe— I won't say a word
— "She Likes Girls", Metro Station
But does he really know me?
Do I really know him?
I should have noticed it before (it wasn't noticeable before)
My girlfriends said they saw before him looking at the boys
He likes a boy in uniform
— "I Like a Boy in Uniform", The Pippettes
Never want the *** that's in my league
I only want the ones I envy, I envy!
—"Montero (Call Me By Your Name)", Lil Nas X
Video Games
Fem Shepard: Hey. What's happening?
Jack: You got a lot of questions, hasn't you?
Fem Shepard: I miss your friendly nature when you're not around.
Jack: I've been thinking. We have seen a lot of shit together you and I. And you always come down to talk to me. It's just... I'm not really a "Girls Club Type"-person. I like you, alright? That's a good place to stop.
Kung Jin: You face a Shaolin.
Tanya: Quite a handsome Shaolin.
Kung Jin: Barking up the wrong tree, sister.
Web Animation
Alastor: And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?
Angel Dust: I can suck your dick.
Alastor: HA! No.
Webcomics
Love you. Miss you. Wish you weren't queer.
Have you ever considered dating an actual lesbian?
—Robin Desanto to Leslie Bean, Shortpacked!
Russ: I'm basically a lesbian in a man's body.
Saffron: What????
[...]
Russ: Well, every girl I like turns out to be a lesbian.
Saffron: Said no lesbian. Ever. In the history of the universe.
Go away, you brutes! I'm here to date women !
— Thaddeus Euphemism, The Petri Dish
Web Video
Man with Boyfriend: We're not even gay!
Man with Girlfriend: And we both are.
Man with Girlfriend: And we both are.
— GiveUpAndSettle.com
, a parody of dating sites, by Nigahiga
, a parody of dating sites, by Nigahiga Western Animation
Meg, I can't just do stuff with a guy. I like girls!
— Chris Griffin, after learning that the guy that Meg has a crush on is gay and is attracted to Chris, Family Guy
Real Life
People thought Camila and I were like into each other, and that made me so uncomfortable. Like disgustingly uncomfortable because I was queer, but she was not, and it made me feel like a predator because of the types of clips people would put together and the types of stories people would write.
— Lauren Jauregui, on being shipped with bandmate Camila Cabello.
