Quotes: Incompetence, Inc.

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Pointy-Haired Boss: All of the conference rooms are booked.
Dilbert: Okay, then I guess we should compare the importance of your meeting versus mine.
Pointy-Haired Boss: That's not how it works. Conference rooms go to the highest-ranking manager.
Pointy-Haired Boss: Scram.
(cut to meeting of Pointy-Haired Bosses)
Pointy-Haired Boss: The goal of this meeting is to figure out why nothing ever gets done around here.

Kramer: Grinders, sanders, wet stones. They are the ones who botched the Statue of Liberty job.
Jerry: Right, they couldn't get the green stuff off.
George: It is a horrible company. There's no management whatsoever. I could go hog wild in there!
Seinfeld, "The Slicer"

    real life 
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

culture: Some bullshit that corporations like to throw around to pretend not to be either evil or incompetent. Either that or they are just blindly copying other corporations lead in newspeak...This culture Bullshit is brought to you by the same people that decided employees are associates.
—Also Urban Dictionary

You must remember one thing about Hollywood. Even if Ishtar is a big bomb, Warren, Dustin, Elaine, and I will all work again … only next time at a higher fee!
Paul Williams, composer for Ishtar

Can you believe they spent nearly 90 million dollars (adjusted for marketing) for this piece of sh*t. The original Mask was only made for 18 million! Yeah, that was 10 years ago so there is some inflation, but not 70 million worth of inflation! I have long ago come to grips that nothing is sacrilege in Hollywood and any crackpot idea is a go... But this makes me appreciate Roger Corman so much more. Because he made crap but at least he was a shrewd businessman. He really didn’t care what piece of sh*t you made as long as you came in on/under budget and the movie at least paid for itself on sales.

Are the Kents alive? What's his relationship with all of these characters? Who exists? And DC couldn't give me answers. I said, Oh, my gosh. You're deciding all these things and you mean even you don't know what's going on in your own books?
George Perez

Vince Russo is a deer caught in the headlines as long as there's a wrestling match going. As long as he can make it a phony B-movie script, or an outhouse in the ring, or woman having miscarriages...so get the wrestling matches outta there, 'cause nobody wants to see that shit anyway. That's been proven over at WCW, where they don't even have wrestling matches anymore— I watched Thunder the other night, because I happened to be stuck in a hotel room, and I saw Lance Storm stumbling around like a drunk man. When you make that guy uncoordinated, you can do it to anybody.

Before I even asked for my release, I said, 'I would like to know who's in charge. Could you draw out a chain of command for me?' And these people could not do it. They had no clue. And I said 'This what I'm talking about. You can't even draw a chain of command for me, and it's a simple thing. It should kind of be in your bylaws.
Awesome Kong on leaving TNA

I guess in the end, it all came down to time constraints, as WWE decided beforehand that if any match was expendable, it was their World title match. Not the Divas tag team match, which could have been moved to the pre-show…

And if WWE really wanted to trim the fat off their supercard, they could have axed the Dancing Mamas segment with Brodus Clay, a sideshow it knew nobody paid to see because it was never advertised….

…or this dreadful Santino-Foley segment that not only wasn’t advertised, but was itself an advertisement for another TV program!

A TV program airing on a rival network!

Are you talented, but also in possession of the kind of deficient personality that renders those talents irrelevant? DAN SNYDER HAS A PRIVATE JET RIDE WAITING FOR YOU... Can you name any other franchise in any sport that requires its own propaganda arm? The Redskins are a mad king who has locked himself inside a castle turret. It wouldn't shock me if everyone at Redskin Park turned out to be syphilitic.

The entire organization preaches this 'No excuses' mantra before immediately making a bunch of excuses for why they lost yet another 'classic trap game'.

The fans are as delusional, racist (Peyton Hillis could fumble 3 times in 4 possessions & fans & beat writers will still masturbate to how hard he plays) & moronic as any in the league but pride themselves on not being as bad as Jets fans...

Attending a live Giants home game still requires taking a trip to fucking New Jersey even though the team's owners could buy 2 stadiums in whatever borough of NYC they desired & still have plenty to support their daughters' acting careers.

Eidos spent something like four million dollars marketing Soul Reaver. You'd think if it had enough faith in its product to spend $4,000,000 pimping it through magazine ads, television commercials, paid articles, action figures, and a crappy one-shot comic book, they could have redirected some of the cash going to pointless promotional swag nobody cared about and put it toward finishing the fucking game instead. But hell — maybe I don't understand business.
Pat R. on Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver