Quotes / Incompetence, Inc.

(Look at those idiots!)
Look at all those boobs!
(An office full of morons!)
A factory full of fools!
—"Look At All Those Idiots", The Simpsons Sing the Blues

Pointy-Haired Boss: All of the conference rooms are booked.
Dilbert: Okay, then I guess we should compare the importance of your meeting versus mine.
Pointy-Haired Boss: That's not how it works. Conference rooms go to the highest-ranking manager.
Pointy-Haired Boss: Scram.
(cut to meeting of Pointy-Haired Bosses)
Pointy-Haired Boss: The goal of this meeting is to figure out why nothing ever gets done around here.

Kramer: Grinders, sanders, wet stones. They are the ones who botched the Statue of Liberty job.
Jerry: Right, they couldn't get the green stuff off.
George: It is a horrible company. There's no management whatsoever. I could go hog wild in there!
Seinfeld, "The Slicer"

Freeman: (reading off a company sign) "Work harder, not smarter." Yeah, that's us all right. We stay the course with stupid.

Incompetent middle management, a sales department that doesn't understand what they're selling, a marketing department that tries to redefine the products to match their ads, executives who don't understand how their products work, an incompetent network administrator, mysterious janitors that make midnight rounds of the buildings doing god-knows-what...
—A summary of Tellus Enterprises' mundane staff, Werewolf: The Apocalypse - Subsidiaries: A Guide To Pentex

White Beret Guy: Sales, any luck figuring out who our customers are?
XKCD, "Meeting"

The Shop, like the FBI and the CIA, had a long history of killing the money. If you can't get what you want with foreign aid, go in there with Thompsons and gelignite and assassinate the bastard. Put some cyanide in Castro's cigars. It was crazy, but you couldn't tell them that. All they could see were RESULTS, blinking and glittering like some mythical Vegas jackpot. So they killed the money and stood there with a bunch of useless green scraps sifting through their fingers and wondered what the hell had happened.

The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation describes an android as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun to be With". The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy describes the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the Revolution comes. Curiously, an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica which had fallen through a wormhole in time from a thousand years into the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the Revolution came".