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Comic Books
Jacali: Why was he dressed like that?
Howard the Duck: Who knows? Why, if zombies are ravenously hungry, do they leave enough of their victims uneaten to become more zombies? If humans are zombies' food, why don't zombies die once most or all of the people have been eaten? And most of all... considerin' the way bodies decompose after death, wouldn't all zombies one day just rot away - or become incapacitated like this poor bastard?
That's what I love about you hairless apes... you never let facts get in the way of a good story.
Howard the Duck: Who knows? Why, if zombies are ravenously hungry, do they leave enough of their victims uneaten to become more zombies? If humans are zombies' food, why don't zombies die once most or all of the people have been eaten? And most of all... considerin' the way bodies decompose after death, wouldn't all zombies one day just rot away - or become incapacitated like this poor bastard?
That's what I love about you hairless apes... you never let facts get in the way of a good story.
— Howard the Duck and Jacali Kane discuss the logical issues with the Zombie Apocalypse trope, Marvel Zombies 5, Issue 5
Fan Works
"Sounds nice, but imagine what would happen to that place during the summer."
—Boy Lynn Loud on a "Land of Chocolate", Peeking Through the Fourth Wall, episode 38
Film — Animated
"I see now that my plan didn't make much sense."
— Noah, The Missing Lynx
Donkey: I'm already starting to feel nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies!
Puss: But how did you receive the wedgies when you are clearly not aware of the underpants?
Donkey: Let's just say some things are better left unsaid and leave it at that.
Puss: But how did you receive the wedgies when you are clearly not aware of the underpants?
Donkey: Let's just say some things are better left unsaid and leave it at that.
Kuzco: How did you get back here before us?
Yzma: Uhh... How did we, Kronk?
Film — Live-Action
Glen: Well shit, man, I guess that's why they call it a "way-homer."
Hi: Why's that?
Glen: Cause you only get it on the way home.
Hi: Why's that?
Glen: Cause you only get it on the way home.
Literature
Melvin: It makes sense, if you think about it!
M: No it doesn't.
M: No it doesn't.
After a while Jeannie came in and I read to her. She herself could not read, and she thoroughly enjoyed the story about the princess who was so unkind that toads and snakes fell out of her mouth when she talked, and her sister who was so loving that pearls and roses fell out of her mouth.
“Were the pearls and roses actually in her mouth,” Jeannie wanted to know, “and if so, how did they get out?” I had been wondering the same thing myself. Juniper would have known the answer.
Live-Action TV
Richard Castle: Perfect place for a murder. No one can hear you scream.
Kate Beckett: No one can help you carry the body up the stairs either.
Richard Castle: Maybe somebody marched Donny at gunpoint down to the river and killed him there.
Kate Beckett: If he had a gun, why would he use a bottle [to kill the victim]?
Richard Castle: Don't ruin my story with your logic!
Kate Beckett: No one can help you carry the body up the stairs either.
Richard Castle: Maybe somebody marched Donny at gunpoint down to the river and killed him there.
Kate Beckett: If he had a gun, why would he use a bottle [to kill the victim]?
Richard Castle: Don't ruin my story with your logic!
— Castle, "The Last Call"
"Wait a minute. How did they open the car door?"
—Rimmernote , Red Dwarf
(Asked what the quote "It was the most excruciating experience of my life" referred to.)
Andy Parsons: Is it David Blunkettnote hanging pictures? [He mimes hitting his thumb with a hammer]
Dara O'Briain: I get that he'd drive the nail into his thumb because he's blind, but why is he hanging pictures? He's blind!
Andy Parsons: Is it David Blunkettnote hanging pictures? [He mimes hitting his thumb with a hammer]
Dara O'Briain: I get that he'd drive the nail into his thumb because he's blind, but why is he hanging pictures? He's blind!
Yolanda Reese: Uh, I'm having a little trouble with Scene 27. It says that I'm "out of phase" which means that I can pass my hand through solid matter, or I can walk through walls.
Director: Yeah, yeah, that's right, because you're "out of phase."
Martin Lloyd: Um, exactly.
Yolanda Reese: So, how come I don't fall through the floor?
[beat]
Martin Lloyd: ...We're going to have to get back to you on that one.
Director: Yeah, yeah, that's right, because you're "out of phase."
Martin Lloyd: Um, exactly.
Yolanda Reese: So, how come I don't fall through the floor?
[beat]
Martin Lloyd: ...We're going to have to get back to you on that one.
— Star Gate SG 1, "Wormhole X-Treme!"
Newspapers
"Which if you think about it rationally is absurd, but you get too involved to think rationally"
— Roger Ebert on Signs.
"Your parents thought they were stimulating your mind, but in fact they were starting the sludge-buildup process, not realizing that every cretinous word they put into your brain would stay there FOREVER, so that decades later you'd find yourself waking up in the middle of the night wondering: Why? WHY did she cut off their tails with a carving knife?"
— Dave Barry, "Brain Sludge"
Podcasts
"It's charming until you realize how many hidden cameras this guy must have set up to get all this footage."
—Bill Corbett, RiffTrax: Batman & Robin
Stand-Up Comedy
"These are the kinds of things I think of when I'm sitting home alone and the television is broken."
—George Carlin, Carlin on Campus
"There's one line in one scene at the start of the movie to explain the entire apocalypse. And it's not even repeated or alluded to. Just one line... It's India. It's a monsoon. A man arrives, clearly in a hurry. He's wearing a suit. He's got a small bag. He's rushed to be here. He's a scientist, he's meeting another scientist. [...] This guy, a physicist, turns to the other physicist and without any shame or compunction goes: 'The neutrinos have mutated and they're heating up the planet!'
[Insert lengthy rant about how scientifically impossible this is.]
At the end of the movie, they're on a boat. It's a new dawn. Everyone's survived. Everyone in the cinema got up and walked out. I was the only idiot in the Curzon on Leicester Square with his arm up going 'Eh, what happened to the fucking neutrinos?!' A week ago, they had 'mutated' and were 'heating up the planet'; how did that change all of a sudden?"''
[Insert lengthy rant about how scientifically impossible this is.]
At the end of the movie, they're on a boat. It's a new dawn. Everyone's survived. Everyone in the cinema got up and walked out. I was the only idiot in the Curzon on Leicester Square with his arm up going 'Eh, what happened to the fucking neutrinos?!' A week ago, they had 'mutated' and were 'heating up the planet'; how did that change all of a sudden?"''
—Dara Ó Briain is not fond of 2012
Video games
"Is the long part its trunk or its neck? How does it bathe itself? An utterly mysterious Chimera."
—The Description for the Ostrelephant, Mother 3
Web Animation
"By the time you figure out what was wrong with that, it won't matter anymore!"
Seppel: Wait a minute! What was Professor Utonium doing making little girls in the first place?!
[beat]
Misteroo: Ew.
[beat]
Misteroo: Ew.
—Arfenhouse Teh Movie Too
Webcomics
"Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot."
—Dirk Strider, Homestuck
Gabe: How can you say the Wonder Twins was about incest? I mean, just because he turns into water, and then she turns into an elephant, and then... Then they... They... Oh My God. And the monkey! Where does the monkey fit in?
Tycho: The monkey watches.
Tycho: The monkey watches.
— Penny Arcade, "Activate
"
""I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but wonder how creatures without arms could make such a device. Or tie up my friends."
—Antimony, Gunnerkrigg Court
Wanda: I'm trying to rein in my ruthless logical thinking and embrace the boundless and bewitching wonders of the magical world.
[Later]
Wanda: [hrrrnghh] If he's so smart then why didn't he just try to summon the fricken egg first not one of them tried to summon that fricken egg, not one, you've learned the summoning charm, great, why not just try summon the motherfrickin egg
[Later]
Wanda: [hrrrnghh] If he's so smart then why didn't he just try to summon the fricken egg first not one of them tried to summon that fricken egg, not one, you've learned the summoning charm, great, why not just try summon the motherfrickin egg
Web Original
"It's a lot like the iron boots in modern 3D Zelda games: you have these 200kg boots in your inventory; you're swimming in water; you open the menu and choose to put the boots 'on'; you sink to the bottom of the water. Are the boots only heavy when they're on your feet? (Maybe they're magical.)"
—Tim Rogers, on Ikaruga
"So why was Gerald not able to choose his own music, if all the other animals had different kinds?"
— Cassandra Gelvin on Giraffes Cant Dance, Don't Read This to My Kids
"If they're both falling straight back and they had just finished [having sex] prior to the cut to the scene (which is what's strongly implied), then they should be falling straight back in parallel, with her directly on top of him. Or maybe side by side, with one of them rolling or sliding off.
But they're not parallel. They're at a roughly 45 degree angle to each other, with an intersection point around the centre of her chest. That would mean their genitals are not even roughly close to one another, it's clear that there was no mouth contact, and from a position like that, even hand contact would be awkward. I suppose they could have been masturbating together, but why would they do that in a position where neither one could see anything?"
But they're not parallel. They're at a roughly 45 degree angle to each other, with an intersection point around the centre of her chest. That would mean their genitals are not even roughly close to one another, it's clear that there was no mouth contact, and from a position like that, even hand contact would be awkward. I suppose they could have been masturbating together, but why would they do that in a position where neither one could see anything?"
Web Video
"Wait a second, if their mission is to proliferate their DNA through procreation, why is there a gay guy in the group?!"
— Linkara on New Guardians
Android 17: Holy shit, you're an android! How did you even do that?
Dr. Gero: I took my brain out and put it into this body.
Android 18: ..How?
Dr. Gero: I...huh. How did I do that?
Dr. Gero: I took my brain out and put it into this body.
Android 18: ..How?
Dr. Gero: I...huh. How did I do that?
"How the hell does that guy owe money?! He has a magic lever that can force people to lose everything! Marry into money? Why?! You have God's personal money tree! Th-Th-There's not even any complicated controls! It's just 'Win' and 'Lose!' Is it only targeted to Fred?! Can it be targeted to other people?! Is there a remote-controlled chip inside everybody's mind that he somehow has control over that can win or lose or...?! This whole movie should be about how that lever works!"
—The Nostalgia Critic on the villain of The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas
"Listen, the more you think about this concept, the more survival solutions you're gonna find, and I'm gonna need you to get off my back about all of them."
— The Screenwriter of Screen Rant Pitch Meetings, about The Producer's suggestions for what the Abbott family should have done differently in A Quiet Place.
Western Animation
"The longer we stand here, the more people are going to question how a fisherman with no engineering background was able to build a sophisticated talking fish robot."
"Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?"
— Superintendent Chalmers, The Simpsons
[Zoidberg's underwater house has just burnt down]
Zoidberg: Nooooooo! My home! It burned down! How did this happen?
Hermes: That's a very good question.
Bender: [Retrieving a lit cigar from the ashes] So that's where my I left my cigar.
Hermes: That just raises further questions!
Zoidberg: Nooooooo! My home! It burned down! How did this happen?
Hermes: That's a very good question.
Bender: [Retrieving a lit cigar from the ashes] So that's where my I left my cigar.
Hermes: That just raises further questions!
— Futurama
"Wait a second... if the pit is bottomless, how exactly are you going to fill it with water?"
[Chowder accidentally puts rat poison in the dish he's making]
Mung: Oh, golly... Why did I even put that poison in the spice cabinet in the first place?!
[A giant rat passes by]
Mung: ...Oh, yeah, that's right...
Mung: Oh, golly... Why did I even put that poison in the spice cabinet in the first place?!
[A giant rat passes by]
Mung: ...Oh, yeah, that's right...
— Chowder
Lisa: There's no shame in coming second!
[Cue a daydream about Lisa's band, "The Second Bests", only for the audience to start booing as soon as they start playing]
Lisa:... Why would they come to our concerts just to boo us?
[Cue a daydream about Lisa's band, "The Second Bests", only for the audience to start booing as soon as they start playing]
Lisa:... Why would they come to our concerts just to boo us?
Real Life
"Where does Oscar the Grouch go to the bathroom? These things keep me up at night."
