"Wait a second... if the pit is bottomless, how exactly are you going to fill it with water?"
"By the time you figure out what was wrong with that, it won't matter anymore!"
"I was standing in the lobby of this hotel just minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said, 'Sir, could you please move? You're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't going to run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit...Unless you're a table."
— Mitch Hedburg
"It's charming until you realize how many hidden cameras this guy must have set up to get all this footage."
"If you think about it, Spider-Man not only made a deal with the devil, he came out of it pretty damn good! He gets his aunt saved, his buddy comes back to life, his identity is secure, he still gets to have had a long-term relationship with a damn supermodel back then, and fool around with kinky sex-addicted catgirls now... basically all Satan gets is the thrill of blinking some bridal photos out of existence. ...Um, ouch?"
"What also confuses me is that we have Marty's great-great-grandparents, one of which looks identical to his mother, a Baines. They produced William McFly, who in turn produces Arthur. Arthur then has George, who marries Lorraine, who has three kids, one of which is Marty. Lorraine, of course, was a Baines. So in order for Marty's mother to resemble Marty's great-great-grandmother on his father's side means either William or Arthur - most likely William - had a child which then went on to marry a Baines, who in turn married back into McFly family. ...So, the Back to the Future universe had incest even before Lorraine tried it on with her unborn son. Confused? Me too. Let's look at the train crash. YEAH!"
— MikeJ, Hang on a Second
There's an awkward scene in The Daleks talking about the TARDIS food dispenser and how it makes energy bars that taste just like the real objects. And it made sense, except for being really stupid and pointless and tedious. But here, the ship, quite frankly, goes a bit mad, starting early in the episode with a long shot in which we can clearly see that the food dispenser has separate buttons for water and... milk. This is absolutely fantastic. Because of course alien species love bovine lactation. Of all the liquids in time and space, they pick water and bovine lactation. Which is clearly about making tea. I mean, that, right there, is the end of any claims that Doctor Who might somehow, if you think about it long enough, make sense. No. Doctor Who might somehow, if you think about it long enough, drive you very productively mad.
— Phil Sandifer, "The Edge of Destruction"
If it takes a millennium to boil you away,
That's .00083 percent in a day
And not that I'm now suggesting you try it
But you lose pounds faster on the Atkin's Diet
You do get dissolved, that seems pretty plain
But it happens too slowly to cause any pain
What was sold as a torture unspeakably cruel
Becomes a long dip in a big heated pool
"I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but wonder how creatures without arms could make such a device. Or tie up my friends."
—Antimony, Gunnerkrigg Court
Seppel: "Wait a minute! What was Professor Utonium doing making little girls in the first place?!"
—Arfenhouse Teh Movie Too
"Wait a second, if their mission is to proliferate their DNA through procreation, why is there a gay guy in the group?!
— Linkara on New Guardians
"I see now that my plan didn't make much sense."
— Noah, The Missing Lynx
"Wait a minute. How did they open the car door?"
—Rimmernote , Red Dwarf
Melvin: It makes sense, if you think about it!
M: No, it doesn't.
"Now I'm going to give you $50,000. [...] The longer we stand here, the more people are going to question how a fisherman with no engineering background was able to build a sophisticated talking fish robot."
"It's a lot like the iron boots in modern 3D Zelda games: you have these 200kg boots in your inventory; you're swimming in water; you open the menu and choose to put the boots 'on'; you sink to the bottom of the water. Are the boots only heavy when they're on your feet? (Maybe they're magical.)"
—Tim Rogers, on Ikaruga
Gabe: How can you say the Wonder Twins was about incest? I mean, just because he turns into water, and then she turns into an elephant, and then... Then they... They... Oh My God. And the monkey! Where does the monkey fit in?
[Zoidberg's underwater house has just burnt down]
Zoidberg: Nooooooo! My home! It burned down! How did this happen?
Hermes: That's a very good question.
Bender: [Retrieving a lit cigar from the ashes] So that's where my I left my cigar.
Richard Castle: Perfect place for a murder. No one can hear you scream.
Kate Beckett: No one can help you carry the body up the stairs either.
Richard Castle: Maybe somebody marched Donny at gunpoint down to the river and killed him there.
Kate Beckett: If he had a gun, why would he use a bottle [to kill the victim]?
Richard Castle: Don't ruin my story with your logic!
— Castle, "The Last Call"
"I want you to think about this: This is a story where a group of people are bopping around the world, encountering monsters and using some vaguely defined magic power taught to them by servant elementals, turning them into collectible playing cards in a game that everyone in the entire world plays. Not only that, these summoned demons also have the power to turn common everyday items, as well as these playing cards, into mystical energy in the form of magic spells. You're telling me that I could go into a sporting goods store in this world, buy a tent, and tell the devil in my magic lamp to turn that into ten Curaga spells? Do these spells take up tangible space, are they in a book or are they in my pocket? Why can I only carry a hundred of them?"
When he's gone, Claire opines that people will ask questions about the crash, but Bennet informs her she's mistaken, and no one's going to know a thing. An ominous whistling accompanies this declaration, and when Claire, dread in her voice, asks what he did, he answers by looking to the sky, from which a missile appears and blows up the plane. I hate to argue with such a dramatic display, but if someone were going to ask questions about a mysterious plane's mysterious landing, I'm not sure an ensuing mysterious explosion would get them to go about their day like nothing happened. But I could be overestimating people's average intelligence and curiosity.
"But he delivers it in such a homespun, likable way that you're already halfway home before you realize, 'Hey, that made no f@#$ing sense!'"
—Jon Stewart, on one of Rick Perry's statementsnote
"I can't believe it took me eight months to realize this, but the mom there can't be giving the engines all she's got! She's on the BRIDGE. She needs to be in ENGINEERING!"
—YouTube Commenter Darthkoolguy on a Burger King Star Trek tie-in commercial
th4t JUST occurr3d to m3 r3c3ntly.
wuz op3n1ng th3 m34l v4ult to m4k3 4 fr34k1n
ghost sn4ck wh3n 1 wuz l1k3. SH1T!!!!
—Latula Pyrope, Homestuck act 6 intermission 3.
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?