Quotes / Fridge Horror

Fan Works

That raises a lot of questions, all of them with horrifying answers.
Sora, on how Dr. Finklestein manages to acquire a heart with a lock on it, Kingdom Hearts The Short And Honest Version (Chapter 17)

Live-Action TV

Skinny Pete: Transporters are breaking you apart right down to your molecules and bones. They're makin' a copy. That dude who comes out on the other side? He's not you. He's a color Xerox.
Badger: So you're telling me every time Kirk went into the transport he was killing himself? So over the whole series, there was, like, 147 Kirks?
Skinny Pete: At least. Dude, why do you think McCoy never liked to beam nowhere? 'Cause he's a doctor, bitch! Look it up, it's science!
Breaking Bad, "Blood Money"

Web Animation

We should probably drop the word 'Monster' from the title since you usually just kill blameless wildlife that only attacks because you're invading its' territory or because you just pushed a sharpened stick through the ear of its' favourite child, but I guess calling it Hunter/Gatherer of Innocent Young Dinosaurs Pathetically Mewling Their Last as The Memory of Their Mother's Warmth Drifts away to Be Replaced by the Unforgiving Coldness of— Oh, fuck it. Let's just call it You Bastard.

Web Original

Sarsgaard finally gives Braff his secret present, which is his dead mom's 'favorite necklace,' and is like PS, YOU'RE WELCOME, I ROBBED YOUR MOM'S GRAVE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY. I DUG UP HER COFFIN AND UNBUTTONED HER BLOUSE AND LIFTED HER CORPSIFIED HEAD AND TENDERLY UNDID THE CLASP AND STOLE THIS NECKLACE AND NOW I'M GIVING IT TO YOU. SORRY ABOUT THE SMELL. AND THE CURSE.

And Braff is, like, jazzed about it. Like that was a real solid thing to do.

Chris: Did Perry just not tell her what she was going to France to cover? Because it would be kind of hilarious if he didn’t.

“Lois, I need you to go to Paris.”
“Sure, Perry, what’s the story?”
“Oh, you’ll find out.
ComicsAlliance on on Superman II

Think of Bill Murray's character in Groundhog Day, who having spent tens of thousands of years living the same day on repeat, conceivably would have fucked, murdered, and eaten everybody in that town, Punxsutawney Phil included, many times over. By the time he finally woke up next to Andie MacDowell, he'd have zero sense of moral boundaries, and any true epilogue to Groundhog Day would end with the discovery of her horribly broken body, while Bill Murray's shot to death by cops, masturbating on the roof of a children's hospice.
Stuart Millard, So Excited, So Scared

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. I took my kid to see this movie and it's about a bunch of food that comes to life, like tacos and burgers and shit. And the weird thing is that, of course, most food starts out alive. The meat in the burger used to belong to a cow that was alive. But now the cow has been killed, slaughtered, formed into a patty, and that patty has been reanimated into a new life-form. That's mildly disturbing. Then again, HAW HAW LOOGIT THE WALKING BURGER THAT'S SO CRAY CRAY.

Essentially, it's a game about being Mr. Potter from It's a Wonderful Life, except only one person gets to be Mr. Potter, and everyone else gets to be Jimmy Stewart on the verge of flinging his penniless ass into the swirling frigid waters beneath Pauper's Bridge.

The U.S. Marshals started hunting me for driving one simple wagon of dynamite into a friendly conversation. So the fact that traffic accidents carry the death penalty yet you can legally blow holes in prostitutes means that some woman-hating programmer took a lot of time to make sure it worked that way.

"The more of these we do, the more we realize that children's cartoon programming is a horrible nightmare place. A Scientifically Accurate CatDog would have to be created by merging two feeling beings into one. Sure, we might learn something about how to suppress their immune systems to keep their disparate bodies from rejecting one another, but at what price comes this knowledge?'"
The Description for SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE™: CATDOG

Web Video

"Let's look at your mentality
Freud loves your abnormality
The Stockholm syndrome story:
Beauty and the Bestiality"

Basically, once every 100 years a male is born into the Gerudo and the rest are women. Now, you gotta ask yourself whether Nintendo thought into the implications of this in the slightest... A man will remain fertile even if he lives to be 100 years of age. A woman won't. D'ya see where I'm goin' with this? 'Cuz it's pretty horrible. In order to have a male heir, Ganon would need to have a daughter first. And then he'd need to have a daughter with that daughter. And then he'd have to have a son with his granddaughter.

I'll just let that one sink for a minute.

So when they find that you gotta high midichlorian count in your bloodstream, I guess your parents give you up to the Jedi as a baby to be trained in this creepy, cultlike environment and you lose all your free will.


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/FridgeHorror