"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either Go Mad from the Revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."
"Archie had an immense talent for crushing girls' souls. He was the Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain of emotional abuse. In fact, if we kept statistics on torturing women, Jordan and Wilt would technically be the Little Archies of basketball...This is supposed to be some cute story, but if you had a 10-year-old daughter with an alcoholic boyfriend, this is no different from the educational pamphlet her therapist would give her."
"...the object of Monopoly is to crush your opponents into bitter financial ruin amid the failure-stained alleyways and tenements of Depression-era Atlantic City. Essentially, it's a game about being Mr. Potter from It's a Wonderful Life, except only one person gets to be Mr. Potter, and everyone else gets to be Jimmy Stewart on the verge of flinging his penniless ass into the swirling frigid waters beneath Pauper's Bridge. And a loss — even an academic one that occurs within the game's first few minutes — takes hours to play out. You can be thoroughly outmatched with absolutely no hope of victory and still end up moving your piece aimlessly around the board for three more hours, because whoever is winning ruthlessly refuses to let you quit. The game actually transforms you into a 1930s slumlord like some weird version of Jumanji cursed with a blood magic spell by J.D. Rockefeller."
"[T]he Doctor hits on a very sensible solution — dump Susan off with the first man she's attracted to and tell her to make babies...Admittedly at the time we expect Susan will grow old and die normally, but later developments in the series make it clear that Susan, as a Time Lord, will regenerate and live for ages, stuck, apparently, on Earth with no TARDIS and a lover who grew old and died as she stayed young forever. This is really, really, intensely not nice of the Doctor."
"We should probably drop the word 'Monster' from the title since you usually just kill blameless wildlife that only attacks because you're invading its' territory or because you just pushed a sharpened stick through the ear of its' favourite child, But I guess calling it Hunter/Gatherer of Innocent Young Dinosaurs Pathetically Mewling Their Last as The Memory of Their Mother's Warmth Drifts away to Be Replaced by the Unforgiving Coldness of— Oh, fuck it. Let's just call it You Bastard."
"Sarsgaard finally gives Braff his secret present, which is his dead mom's 'favorite necklace,' and is like PS, YOU'RE WELCOME, I ROBBED YOUR MOM'S GRAVE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY. I DUG UP HER COFFIN AND UNBUTTONED HER BLOUSE AND LIFTED HER CORPSIFIED HEAD AND TENDERLY UNDID THE CLASP AND STOLE THIS NECKLACE AND NOW I'M GIVING IT TO YOU. SORRY ABOUT THE SMELL. AND THE CURSE.
And Braff is, like, jazzed about it. Like that was a real solid thing to do."
David: We cut to Paris, where Lois Lane gets out of a cab telling the driver “Mercy, mercy.” It’s amazing how Lois Lane is portrayed as being such a great reporter, other than her lack of a) ability to spell and b) world knowledge and/or cultural sensitivity.
Chris: Also her complete shock at the fact that it’s a hydrogen bomb. Did Perry just not tell her what she was going to France to cover? Because it would be kind of hilarious if he didn’t.
“Lois, I need you to go to Paris.”
“Sure, Perry, what’s the story?”
“Oh, you’ll find out.”
"Obi-Wan seeks Yoda's help in finding Kamino 'cause it ain't in the records. He interrupts Yoda teachin' a class... it's like a crowded public school or somethin'. All the kids are wearing these stupid helmets and deflecting lasers shot at them by from a ball that Luke used in the original Star Wars... But, like, they could easily cut one another, right? I mean, why aren't you doing this in a really large gym where everyone can spread out? And aren't they a little young to be handling lightsabers? I mean, look how clumsy the kids are holding them, when Yoda's standing like two feet away!"
"The gang goes to visit Robbie at home, only to find that he's still a complete and utter nutbar and he's referring to everybody by their character names... He strongly suspects that the people who live across the lake are harboring demons. Oh, THAT'S not creepy. Most horrifying of all is that they decide to feed his psychosis by playing along with his continuing fantasy and even play more Mazes & Monsters with him. Are you guys out of your minds? Robbie's going to take you out into the woods and hollow your skulls out like jack-o-lanterns!"
That raises a lot of questions, all of them with horrifying answers.
— Sora, on how Dr. Finklestein manages to acquire a heart with a lock on it, Kingdom Hearts The Short And Honest Version (Chapter 17)