Quotes / Extreme Omnivore

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     Schlock Mercenary 

Tagon: Headcount! There were three goons! Three! Where's the third one?
Schlock: Yum?
Narrator: Food that talks is not food, but the goon never said anything, so it's okay, right?

Schlock: PX guy wanted proof I needed all that food. Went on a binge then an' there.
Legs: That's never made you sick before. How much did you eat?
Schlock: Four bottles.
Legs: That's not very—
Schlock: ...of concentrated solvent.
Legs: Perhaps you need to be a little more discriminating when you binge.

Schlock: I'm an amorph. Dinner isn't coming back up unless it can fight its way back up. Smutto is just corn and soy, it'll stay down.
Ebbirnoth: It's not just corn and soy. It's also a bacteria colony fighting off a fungal infection. Smutto is a little pile of germ warfare disguised as a side dish.
Schlock: Okay, sure. But the last time I had to spit something out it was an infection of nanobots. The Smutto I dropped down the hole is way out of its league.
Ebbirnoth: You can eat anything, then?
Schlock: Amorphs are weird that way.

Kathryn: You eat your enemies as a fallback option?
Schlock: No. I eat my enemies when they are delicious.

Bunny: Sergeant, did you just drink medicine out of a bottle you found on the ground?
Schlock: Yes.
Bunny: I... I...
[beat]
Bunny: Okay, I guess I can't see how that could possibly be more dangerous than swallowing two armed men whole. As you were.
Schlock: And you humans call yourselves omnivores.

Ebbirnoth: We need a word that means "omnivorous like a forest fire."
Schlock: When you find that word, I will eat it.

Ebbirnoth: Whoa, it's definitely not safe to eat. Forget metal toxicity, I've found what's laying down the metals. Some of the tissues host free-ranging cells that are more like industrial nanobots. These "metalocytes" would tear us up inside.
Schlock: That's the fizzy taste. They're trying to electroplate me from the inside!
Murtaugh: Aren't you listening? Why are you still eating that?
Schlock: Food that fights back builds character. Also, I like the fizz.

Murtaugh: From the mouth of the mundivore.
Schlock: Mundi-vore?
Murtaugh: Latin for "world-eater."

Schlock: [on eating million year-old cyborg brains] Does the fizzy taste go away?
Far-Wanders: Did Murtaugh tell you that "mundivore" might also be translated to "devourer of the universe?"

    Everything Else 

Eat your shoes
Don't forget the strings
And socks
Even eat the box
You bought 'em in
You can eat the truck
That brought 'em in
Garbage truck
Mmmmm... moldy garbage truck
Eat the truck and driver,
And his gloves
Nutriciousness!
Deliciousness!
Worthlessness!
—"Mr. Green Genes", by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention

"Would it kill them to serve gemstones?"

"I watched Marco eat some of the popcorn. I did as he did... The texture was rough and strange. And the flavor! It reminded me of a food called pizza. But there was just a hint of cigarette butts, which I also enjoy. Although Prince Jake had told me never to eat cigarette butts again. They are bad for you."
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, Animorphs #8

"Ike says he found your luggage in the lobby. And he would like to apologize for eating your pants."
Professor Quadrangle, Quantum Conundrum

"You're right, it does look delicious."
The Cannibal, Sword of the Stars II: Lords of Winter, when targeting an enemy, be it spacecraft or planet

"Yeah, that's real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. 'Course I don't know what that bastard shark's gonna do with it. Might eat it, I suppose. Seen one eat a rockin' chair one time."
Quint, Jaws

Manny: What are you eating?
Bernard: It's some kind of delicious biscuit.
Manny: Bernard, it's a coaster.
Bernard: Is it? Are there any more?
Black Books, "The Grapes of Wrath"

"Look, I am capable of fixing your keyboard or eating it. Guess which I'm closer to doing?"
Ike the half-manticore, Skin Deep, beginning to get irritated

"Inedible. Tastes like chicken."
Louie on the Mamuta, Pikmin 2

"Yeah, he ate one of my cars once. Yeeeah. The whole car. Just with, like, a fork."
Scooter (on Crazy Earl), Borderlands 2

Katelynn: Trick or treat!
Mackenzie: Katelynn, it's Christmas, not Halloween.
Katelynn: Ooh, but look at all the candy!
Mackenzie: Do not eat the decorations. Those candy canes aren't edible. Remember last Christmas when you had to get your stomach pumped?
Katelynn: No, I don't remember. I was sedated!
Mackenzie: It was like a fucking piñata in there!

During the whelp's upbringing, it will be initiated into the secrets of the Great Maw and taught to gulp down and digest the most foul and poisonous substances, from ragged hunks of rotten meat, to ground-up bedrock and the slimy, toxic intestines of stone trolls. An adult Butcher takes pride in the fact he can consume substances that can ravage the digestive systems of even his fellow Ogres. [...] This gastronomic fortitude is a great source of respect from the rest of the tribe, who believe that to cross a Butcher is to cross the Great Maw itself, and therefore doom themselves to premature reincarnation as a hot and nourishing stew.

"Hey Steven! Is there any more engine oil? I need it for the sandwich."
Amethyst, Steven Universe

Florence: Sam, a cockroach just took a bite of your food and died!
Sam: HA! SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, BABY!

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