If you could ever find it in your hearts,
if you could ever think to find some sympathy,
never ask us to play this song,
or that song about our pants, or our kitty doggy.
Never ask us to play 'Godzilla' or 'Shut Up'
or that song we haven't written yet about that time we did some stuff
The Cabalists who celebrated this mysterium,
This vast creature, named it Golem.
Perhaps there was an error in the word
Or in the articulation of the Sacred Name;
In spite of the highest esoteric arts
This apprentice of man did not learn to speak. The rabbi watched it tenderly but
With some horror. How (he said)
Could I engender this laborious son?
Better to have done nothing, this is insanity."
Binky the Clown: Heeeey, kids! Wanna see Binky do a magic trick? Well, forget it! I'm not spending another minute in this stupid clown suit! I am an actor! But, noooo... Too short, they said!
I used to produce movies. In the 80s. Kind of like action films, sexy stuff. One critic called them 'European.
' I thought they were shit
I shrivel up every time someone mentions Star Wars
There were a lot of 'voilas
' and 'Gallic shrugs
' with strains of the Marseillaise
on the soundtrack... mostly great stunning cliches
to demonstrate their overwhelming love of La France
and la gloire
. The result was purest chloroform. The picture ran for nearly three hours and at the gala American premiere the principal star in the audience was former vice president Richard Nixon
, the only time I ever felt compassion for him.
You know, it's funny how wrong an artist can be about his own work. The one composition of Tchaikovsky's
that he really detested was his 'Nutcracker Suite
', which is probably the most popular thing he ever wrote.
When you make a movie like Ishtar
, the audiencesí expectations can be exceeded, but they canít be disappointed
. This one disappoints all around... I cannot imagine that anybody who worked on that movie left it feeling that they did their best work. I didnít.
, production designer on Ishtar
...in terms of that film I was embarrassed. I was ashamed of the work, and I was grateful that I had the power to contain it all, and never let anyone see it. It was bad, bad, bad. It could have been wonderful
, but I slipped up. I didn't quite get it and I didn't quite have enough sense to find out why I'm doing it and maybe there would be an answer.
A lot of people hated Alien≥
, but no one hated it more than I did.
...maybe one of the worst films in the entire solar system, including alien productions we've never seen.
Once I looked the whole thing through, I just thought 'Oh, man. It's exactly what I thought it was gonna be, but I'm glad no one's ever gonna see it!' Because I thought he was never gonna be able to sell this to anybody.
...'I'm paroled now. That's in the past, and I'm moving on.'
Gene and I were on the Carson show
once, following Chevy Chase, who had just promoted his Christmas release, °Three Amigos!
. We chatted a little, and then Johnny said, 'Roger, what's your least
favorite Christmas picture?' We were looking directly at each other when he said that, and I noticed an almost invisible expression flash across his face. I knew what the answer was, and I believe in that second Johnny did, too. I paused. '°Three Amigos!
' I said... After the show, Chevy appeared in the door of my dressing room with a poker face.
I was at a loss for words. 'I don't think its so hot either,' he said.
I am so ashamed of this movie that I have completely left working there off of my resume. On behalf of the many artists that have had the dubious distinction of working on this dumpster fire, I apologize to all of humanity for our part in this.
— Vader Hater,
an anonymous animator who worked on Food Fight
I didn't want anything to do with a group of obsessives
who paid to get together to talk incessantly about a TV show that had been cancelled. It wasn't logical...
In my opinion the worst Doctor Who
story ever written. (As an author I am entitled to say that!)
If you thought you were sick of the memes
, I was sick of it way ahead of you. For instance, cake. I've had enough cake jokes
— Erik Wolpaw
, writer for Portal
Congratulations, you've just bought our worst album!
— Elvis Costello
, in the liner notes to a reissue of Goodbye, Cruel World
There's not enough money in the world to get me singing 'Because We Want To' again.
I don't understand why [my M.U.G.E.N
website] still hasn't died even now. They mock me by denying me access to it (I never figured out why, and I don't really care anymore), and then not getting rid of it even after all these years. Ugh, I wish this relic of my past would fucking die in a fire already...
There's a line even [Joel] Schumacher won't cross, and that line is defending the existence of Batman & Robin
. Schumacher spends the entire commentary track by himself repeatedly and earnestly apologizing for what he did. No stars to get in the way. No producers. Just an hour and a half of Schumacher pretty much going "God, I am so sorry — I just ... nipples? What the fuck was I thinking?
Send me your address. I will pay you your money back." There are very few clever anecdotes, precisely zero joyful reminisces — just a few feeble defenses that quickly give way to shameful apologizing... Take note: Moments of self-awareness like this are rare in Hollywood, and they exist only briefly, like mayflies, before being utterly obliterated by a mountain of cocaine.
is a by the numbers cop thriller done so many times by (Bruce) Willis
it is almost a genre in itself
. Willis actually went on record apologizing for this movie sucking but really its not that bad. It is more a generic thriller you stumble on one boring night and you watch instead of the paid programming for that giggling dumbbell that looks like you are jerking off. If anything, Bruce should apologize for North
Among the filmís many problems was the fact that Adrian Paul wanted nothing to do with it. He hated the way Endgame
had turned out and refused to go back to the dead horse
that was Highlander
. So the producers went back to Christopher Lambert, hoping to bring him back into the series somehow despite the fact that they had killed off his character in the last film in order to make it easier to go forward using Adrian Paul
instead. Lambert refused or, based on how his negotiations with the TV series went, probably just asked for way too much money, knowing his demands wouldnít get met. So the producers had to go crawling back to Adrian Paul, because they desperately wanted one of the iconic MacLeods in the film. In order to bring Paul onboard, they gave him an executive producer credit ...Adrian Paul would later go on record prior to the filmís release and say that The Source missed the mark
. Thatís insanely rare for a lead actor to do in promoting his own movie. It is really that bad.
Calm the fuck down, RPattz
; it was Twilight
. All that was required of him, acting-wise, was to stand there and stare vacantly into the vacant eyes of Kristen Stewart, the vacant confused face of Taylor Lautner, and the confusing wiglet attached to Peter Facinelliís head. Although I do partially agree with him that Twilight
was probably his most difficult acting role; Iím sure even the finest of Juilliard-trained actors would have had great difficulty acting like they werenít totally embarrassed to say shit like: 'No measure of time with you will be enough, but letís start with forever.'
It's difficult to find fault with (Roger) Moore personally
(he can be so charming and amusing), but it's also difficult to not notice his self-observant standoffishness; his bemused contempt for the part. That kind of attitude is deadly for television...(he eventually got that way with The Saint
and Bond, too, for that matter). It's pretty clear with this first episode that he's not suited for either the role, or weekly TV.
I'd like to take a look back at the different segments that came together to make this one of history's worst anythings ever
... The first is Actor Indifference. Nearly all of principle actors from the film are here, and none of them are good enough at their job to hide how much they hate that fact. Harrison Ford
in particular will read the lines but you can kiss his ass if you think he's going to try
. If Kanye West
's agent booked him on Hee Haw
, he'd perform with more enthusiasm. And for this reason, each segment's Actor Indifference will be measured in Angry Han Solo Heads. The more you see, the less people cared.
Look at how bored [Robert] Beltran sounds in the first scene spinning out the same sort of nonsense
as usual. This is a man who has just come back from a Trek
convention and has slagged off the show for not giving him anything to do
in an age. And who can blame him? He might not be the world's greatest actor but this is exactly the kind of repetitive monotony that can drive the weakest of performers to speak out.
It's hardly a 'hidden' reason considering how vocal Kojima was about it, but Old Snake
is a reflection of Hideo Kojima
himself. He's apathetic because Kojima is apathetic; he's tired because Kojima is tired; he gave up on his philosophical idealism because Kojima gave up on his philosophical idealism (in regards to the Metal Gear
series at least). Every major characteristic of Old Snake can be traced back to Kojima's own feelings about the series and his fans. The fact that Snake wants to get it all over with so he can die in peace is exactly parallel to Kojima's desire to end the series so he can move on without restrictions...I can't help thinking this is why he allowed a total Westernization of the controls as well; just blend in and hope for the best.
Gabriel: Peter Molyneux
has become self-aware. Yahtzee:
Ah yes, a recent quote from Peter Molyneux in which he described Fable III
— exact word — a "trainwreck." Gabriel:
Alright, so here's the problem: He's become self-aware, but he's just going hyperbolically in the other direction