"Why is everybody always pickin' on me?"
—From the chorus to "Charlie Brown", by The Coasters
(and no, the song is not about that
"Nuthin' goes right, I just can't fight it
thanked me for flying United!
I got some money, what did I do?
I bought some quicksand, the deal fell through
My car broke down, I called Triple-A
They left the car and towed
I can't take it no more, I'm getting too old
I called suicide prevention, they put me on hold
Winter, Summer, Spring, and Fall
I'm always up against the wall
Ahh, I don't get no respect at all"
—Rodney Dangerfield, "Rappin' Rodney"
"'The only reason I was born was that rats had chewed on Mother's douche bag, or so she told me.' This is an essential starting point to the Nina story."
"The Giants are an aunt's house you dread visiting. Every time the Giants come onto my television, the screen magically reverts to standard definition...Every time I think of them, all I think about is Billy Crystal telling Bruno Kirby that he's getting a divorce. That seems like a Giants fan thing to do.
Let's go to the game and we can talk about how Helen never loved me. Oh, and Eli will throw a pick."
, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New York Giants
"I lead a cursed life!"
, Persona 4
, finally realizing that he is this trope.
"Story of my life. No matter what I try, God's always got a custard pie up his sleeve."
—Georgy Girl (1966)
"A History of American Farming by Peter Fox: who had a very rough time getting out of bed this morning and didn't eat breakfast and who pinched his left thumb in his gym locker and lost his favorite pencil in the library and whose day got even worse when..."
writing his essay for a 'sympathy grade' (which takes up several pages).
Actually, the crawling awkwardness starts with the introductory fiction. It's about an overweight computer nerd with glasses, bad skin, and bad hair - and everybody picks on him! There's even a pair of pictures with him looking all sad. Aww. Gandhi
would have kicked this kid's ass.
"If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to Rimmer."
And what valliant
deeds did your employers do? Nodwick:
They valiantly fed me to a hydra
, sundered an ancient seal with my head
, and spoiled an evil wizard's spell by substituting my nose
for one of the spell components. Huzzah.
Fran: Where's Manny?
Bernard: He's not here.
Fran: Well how can I find him?
You could become a terrible event and happen to him.
"Sometimes, I'm afraid to be happy, because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens."
"Hey c'mon, make fun of the bald guy! I'll be your lightning rod of hate!"
"Sometimes, I think I was born to be picked on..."
"But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him."
If you're going to probe anyone, probe Chris!
after he and Chris get taken by a UFO, Dan Vs.
Wow. Even my dreams hate me.
It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world.
I think somebody rubbed all the sixes off the dice he throws.
I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!
Wh-Why is everyone ganging up on me? It's so unfair... It's just that... I fell in love with Ragna the Bloodedge...
when all the other female characters gang up on her over Ragna in Rachel's gag ending, BlazBlue: Continuum Shift
Why can't I do anything when it really counts!?
He hath been most notoriously abused.
Are we laughing at Yamcha? Because I'm always up for that.
Teddie: Wowee, Sensei! That was amazing! Don't you think so, whatsyourface?
Yosuke: Dude, why can't I be 'Sensei'?
: Because you're comic relief.
"You know, at this point, i should really just accept that nobody anywhere respects me, shouldn't i?"
, it's not a matter of what
will go wrong, but when
: Okay, you don't like me! We get it!
Nobody screws Yamcha but life.
Your life will be filled with disappointment.
while reading a fortune cookie, Victorious
Why is it that lately, all I want to do is cry?
"'Champion Gear-Carrier For All Your Gear-Carrying Needs' is a pretty wordy synonym for 'Chimp Derriere, Lord of the Butt Monkeys', but I suppose it looks better on a desk plaque."
The day had only just begun, yet it was apparent that all the world was aligning to scheme against and completely fuck over Jaune Arc
— The fic Dreamscape
, describing Jaune's reaction to being found in a bed with his best friend by his other friends
"Thundering typhoons! Everything happens to me!"