"Fetch me old brown trousers
Bring them to me now
I'll wear them in the rigging when they fire across the bow
Fetch me old brown trousers
I fear we may be hit
Even if they sink me down they'll never see me sh--Heave Ho!"
— "The Ballad of Old Redcoat", The Pyrates Royale
The accountant had about a second in which to turn pale and wet himself before Kurt ripped his head off.
— The Pilo Family Circus, Chapter 23.
"We fear you exceedingly, even to the relaxation of sphincters!" they chorused.
— In the Courts of the Crimson Kings by S. M. Stirling.
"Am I glad I remembered to pack my parachute today... Although, some spare pants would have been handy, too."
— Chase McCain, Lego City Undercover
"God, I think I just SHITTED ON MYSELF!"
— Big Man, Trapped In The Closet
Ace: Hello, I'm looking for Ray Finkle.
(Ray's father points a gun at him)
Ace: And a new pair of shorts.
"Is there a good laundry in this town?"
— Peter Yates, Murders in the Zoo
Scowler: Remember, they can smell fear!
Patchi: Sorry, that's not fear.
Juniper: (Steps in something) I think I just stepped in some fear!
— Walking with Dinosaurs: The Movie
"The rules of my order forbid me to divulge the contents of Lord Arnolf's letters."
"Your vows are stronger than your bladder, it would seem."
*Vanessa and Austin are being lowered into a pool of man-eating mutant sea bass*
Vanessa: What's your plan?
Austin: First, I plan to soil myself. Then I'm going to regroup and come up with another plan.
—Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery
"After that image, I believe that Jay probably contributed a few of his own bricks to that collection he was hiding behind."
And mothers are always more interested in the condition of your underwear than your body if you're ever in an accident. And they tell you that. "I hope for my sake that if you're ever in an accident, you have on clean underwear." I thought that was what an accident was! ...Look, you're driving a truck; here comes another truck, gonna hit you. Now, whether you hit that truck or not, you're going to have soiled underwear. Because first you say it, then you do it!
— Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby, Himself
"Boys, set the terror alert to brown, because I need to change my pants."
"Get my brown pants!"
—Colin Mochrie addressing the topic of "Confusing Battle Cries" on Whose Line Is It Anyway?
"So this book wants to teach me how to kill a hijacker? I'm crammed into a tube with 200 people too fat for their seats and scared of toothpaste! If some guy pulls a knife on us, there's going to be so much panicked incontinence on the floor that I'll need a jet ski to get to him."
"I am currently wetting my pants."
"I'm preparing for the worst. The very worst. This may require absorbent linens."
— Viscount Dumar, Dragon Age II
"I really should've gone to the privy *before* coming in here..."
Cat: Forget red alert, lets go all the way to brown alert!
Kryten: There's no such thing as brown alert.
Cat: You won't be saying that in a minute, and don't say I didn't alert you!
Rimmer: Look, we all know you're programmed not to harm humans, so you can drop the tough-talk, you big square-jawed chump
(The robot's Robo Cam scans Rimmer (a hologram), Cat (felix sapiens) and Lister ("Barely human - what the hell!"))
Hudson-10: You are all... viable... targets.
"Gentlemen, the crap has literally been scared out of me."
— Dale Gribble, King of the Hill
"PANTS TO BE DARKENED!"
Well, there you have it. Slender! Totally wasn't scared! But it seems as if someone poured urine on my pants and shoved mashed potatoes down the back of my pants...
— "Bane Plays Slender"
Bowles was a tough man. He'd faced the nastiest horrors in his piece of shithole Yellow Zone without blinking. Yet, the sudden horrified realization that hit him at that moment made the corporal void himself, which only marginally worsened the stink in the blood-soaked fighting hole.
Computer: "I see they've also given you brown pants to go with that red shirt."
Computer: "Just gratuitous foreshadowing..."
— Alien Adventure by John Freda.
"I just did something involuntary...and messy."
— Sid, Ice Age: The Meltdown