Quotes / Bag of Spilling

"11+ games, y'know. I've journeyed to other planets. I've slain alien gods. But no. Still hip-deep in rats. FML."

"How a Zelda game's usually works is that evil threatens the land in some unspecific manner, and then Link shows up all predestined-hero-like, and the gods shower him with equipment and praise and ear massages, and he saves the people and resolves conflict everywhere he goes until his feet don't touch the ground and the sun shines out of his sexless pee-hole. Meanwhile, Majora's Mask starts by taking that noble destined hero, flushed with triumph from Ocarina of Time, and kicking his fucking teeth in. A mischievous entity referred to as "Skull Kid" nicks Link's horse, turns him into a novelty bong, and gigglingly teabags his nose-hole for a few minutes before running off to make the moon smash into a sleepy carnival town.... It's almost a metaphor for the futility of existence. You can work your sexy little elf boy gams off trying to make a difference, but in the end, none of it matters, because chaos—represented by a prancing nonce with a diseased pineapple for a face—will make it all for naught in the end."

MegaMan: I'd Like to Read a poem that drifts in the air... "I don't know where my old chips are I asked Dad... I asked Mom..."
Lan: Hahahaha! That was great... And True... I have no clue where my old chips are stashed!

Link: Great! I'll grab my stuff!
Gwonam: There is no time! Your sword is enough!

Link: You sure? I've got like five or six quests' worth of stuff in the back! I could-
Gwonam: We do not have the time! Go get your sword!
Link: But I've got eight pouches of bombs!
Gwonam: All you need is your sword!
Link: Can I just-
Gwonam: You defeat Ganon by throwing a book! Now get on the fucking carpet!

The board is set, the pieces are in motion and it's time to go get the Missile Launcher. What's that you say? You already have a Missile Launcher? Heh... welcome to the world of Metroid, friend.

"In X2, you save the galaxy, well sort of. Your the hero, everyone is in your debt. In game time, you play on for about 6 months to a year and amass a huge trading empire and an even huger battlefleet. Your personal ship is a Nova, or an M6, or an M2. Your combat [rank] ace of aces better.
"Along comes X3.
"WTF ? Suddenly you have no factories. No fleet. No race rank with anyone. You have gone from Hero to Zero with the insertion of a disc. Worse, your personal ship is gone and your flying this old fleatrap that cant get out of its own way, let alone keep you alive, and hey, it has no upgrades either and just 2 little popguns. And suddenly you're 'harmless' instead of an 'ace of aces'."

"Why is it that every time disaster strikes, I find myself without a proper blade?"

"So...everything is gone. Your stuff, my stuff, but most importantly, MY STUFF."
Cayde-6, Destiny 2