Quotes: Asspull

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"Here the story should really end, for, in real life, the forlorn old man would have little to look forward to but death. The author took pity on him and has provided a quite improbable epilogue."
— Only text displayed in the silent film The Last Laugh (Der letzte Mann).

"Akiha...? What do you mean by Nee-san?"
"I mean Nee-san. Now that I think about it, I had a twin older sister...!"
"You had an older sister... that's a bit of a sudden statement."
Even though this is a parody, this is too much. It's no fun if you don't lay down any groundwork or foreshadowing.
"I don't care about that...!"
Kagetsu Tohya, ("Imogirisou")

"A hawk summon, where did he get that?"
Tobi/Obito (pretending to be Madara), Naruto

"Think about it! What you've done is utterly ridiculous! And that's saying something in a world where people can make water dragons using sign language!"
Deidara in this Naruto fan comic strip, about the infamous "Great Snake Escape".

Fake Kidnapper: Come on, get in the trunk!
George: What about my ankle monitor?
Fake Kidnapper: We have an ankle monitor deactivator!
George: Oh, good. See, I've been meaning to get one of those.

Yzma: Oh, my! Looking for this? *holds the human transformation potion*
Kuzco: No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?!
Yzma: Ah... How did we, Kronk?
Kronk: Well, ya got me. *pulls down a chart of the previous chase* By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.

     reviews 

'Support character was evil all along' does NOT constitute 'character development.' What that is is 'arse pull.'

It's like wire work for plot. Bad wire work.
Neal Bailey on Smallville ("Vengeance")

David: I guess this mirrors the thing with Jimmy Olsen — are you aware of this? That Jimmy used to be on the show, and they killed him off?
Chris: I’d heard that.
David: And then they cut to his little cousin Jimmy Olsen a few states away?
Chris: Okay, that part I was not aware of.
David: Yeah. That Happened.
—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Shield")

It's not so much timey-whimey as it is bullshit-woolshit.

Janette comes back, and it turns out she's mortal! When she left, she fell in love with a human. They made love, and she started to feed on him—but she stopped, and his blood... warmed her heart? I-I guess? Her heart grew three sizes that day. Like a sexy Grinch.
Allison Pregler on Forever Knight, "The Human Factor"

When asked to account for himself Ianto goes on a tirade about clearing up their shit and nobody asking anything about his life — what the hell? This is how you get some attention?

"Out of David Cage's flaming asshole is where that came from"
— Two best friends play beyond two souls

Matt: “Mortal Kombat cannot be won by treachery.” They’re just making this s**t up!
Chris: I almost feel bad for Shang Tsung at this point. You know they were like “Okay, if you win this tournament you can invade Earth” and then he did and they were like “oh sorry, we meant if you win it… ten times?”
Matt: He’s a victim of bureaucracy, man.
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Mortal Kombat

Pat: Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then—takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is holy ground, right? HE CAN'T DO THAT!
Spoony: He just did.
Pat: (whining) But he can't!
Spoony: (admiringly) You heard the man! He "doesn't care about the rules!"
Pat: That's not how it works! Are you sure it's holy ground?!
Spoony: Well, it has to be; there's monks with machine guns running around.
Pat: Ah, I guess you're right. That makes se—HUH???

"So, lemme see if I understand this: Prometheus said he didn't know who the Shade was, but apparently the device he had planted was specifically designed to counteract his powers. What a convenient device! Oh, and the super-duper-maxi-extreme-ultra devices can counteract the magic of the REAL Captain Marvel too. Look, there's smart villains, clever planning, and then there's just pulling crap outta your ass!"