The internet: dedicated to making you fed up of seeing this.
The Aperture Science Enrichment Center will like to remind you that at the end of every test, you will be rewarded with a slightly humorous internet quip from our Aperture Science Humor Database. If at any time you find yourself unable to stop laughing after hearing one, causing a high probability of choking to death, please lie down and wait patiently for our staff to assist you.
Please add entries in the following format:
The meme. [[labelnote:Explanation]]The explanation behind the meme, if necessary.[[/labelnote]] Explanation Like this.
Further mutations and successor memes, if any.
"The Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. In the event that the Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice." Explanation In one level GLaDOS gives the player a Weighted Storage Cube that had to be carried through the level. Playtesters would often leave the cube behind and get stumped, so Valve gave the cube a Palette Swap and had GLaDOS talk about the cube constantly. As a result many players became incredibly attached to the cube and some even gave it a Memetic Badass status. Also a Trope Namer.
"You will be baked, and then there will be cake." Explanation GLaDOS, resident Ninja Butterfly/Mission Control/Big Bad, is an immensely popular Fountain of Memes for her dark, dark comedy, with nearly every single one of her lines repeated or mutated in some form. Some other examples are listed below. Note that this example is what shows up in the subtitles, but you hear the full line.
"Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an "unsatisfactory" mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!"
"Speedy thing goes in, speedy things comes out."
"When the testing is over, you will be... 'missed'!"
"Look at me still [verb]ing when there's science to do"
"...and when you're dead I will be Still Alive."
"Now You're [Verb]ing With Portals", "Now You're Thinking With [Noun]s." Explanation From the advertising campaign, "Now you're thinking with portals". Often used when someone thinks of a weird but ultimately successful solution to a problem. The phrase may have originated from Nintendo slogan "Now you're playing with power!". One of GLaDOS' lines in Portal 2 co-op, when a robot dies, is "Now you're thinking with stupidity".
The cake is a liethe cake is a liethe cake is a lie—— Explanation Both GLaDOS and the escapee Doug Rattmann are a little cake obsessed, and later in the game there is a room where the phrase is written over and over again. Used when something is an obvious scam or whenever cake is mentioned. This one is definitely a Discredited Meme; using it in most Internet circles will get people seriously annoyed and in certain places probably get you banned.
"I wonder if the pancakes will be a lie too?" Explanation In the second Aperture Investment Opportunity video, "Bot Trust", the two robots are seen pancake-flipping. Cue Youtube comments like this. Unforunately, the pancakes were indeed a lie, as none appeared in the game in any fashion.
"Cave Johnson here/Cave Johnson, we're done here." Explanation Cave Johnson, resident Crazy AwesomeMad Corporate Executive, is a Fountain of Memes to challenge even GLaDOS, and though not all of his lines became memes it is damn close. This one is used at the beginning and end of all four of the Aperture Investment Opportunity videos.
When life gives you lemons, burn down life's house.WITH THE LEMONS.Explanation Cave's final pre-recorded message has him deliver an epic rant subverting the typical "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" idiom. It is widely believed he actually managed to do this.
I don't want lemons, I want pictures of Spider-Man! Explanation J.K. Simmons, the voice of Cave Johnson, also played J. Jonah Jameson in the Spider-Man films, resulting in a lot of Hey, It's That Voice! moments and subsequent jokes such as these.
"The Solution? ROBOTS! Then... fire the guys who made those robots and build BETTER robots!"
"BAM! Robots gave us six extra seconds of co-operation. Good job, robots!"
"Chariots chariots." Explanation From the over half hour of additional dialogue added with the Perpetual Testing Initiative (read: user-designed test chambers). Cave first says that due to the multiversal nature of the program, he'll precede all of his messages with "chariots" so the tester knows it's Earth Prime Cave. When he realizes there's a universe where his counterpart for no discernible reason says "Chariots" before his sentences, he adds another one on for good measure.
"How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato." Explanation (spoilers) About halfway through Portal 2 GLaDOS gets attached to a potato, and says this. Also known as "PotatOS", taken from the developer commentary.
"Yeah, you know, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate, Larate, Jiu Jitsu, Kick-punching, belt making, Taekwondo... Bedroom." Explanation The sphere also openly flirts with Chell, managing to achieve minor Memetic Sex God status as a result as well.
They told me, that if I ever [insert action here], I would DIE! Explanation Wheatley was always told that if he performed just about any action, he would die.
"Well, this is the part where [insert action here]". Explanation (spoilers) A parody of the infamous "This is the part where he kills you" scene in Portal 2, where the first two lines are spoken, then the chapter title appears, then the achievement is unlocked with its description, all saying variations of the same line. Upon the soundtrack's release, it was revealed that even the music track title was shown to follow this.
"Hello, this is the part where [insert action here]!"
Ch. 9: The Part Where [insert action here].
Achievement Unlocked: The Part Where [insert action here].
Achievement Description: This is that part.
And I-AH! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! Explanation Wheatley's line when he gets attacked by a bird.
You know, [action] just now taught me a valuable lesson... Explanation (spoilers) At the end of the game as well as once during the Art Therapy co-op levels, GLaDOS says three different variations on "[Doing something] just now taught me a valuable lesson".