Please don't eat me! I'm nothing but skin and bones; I won't make a good meal, and you won't like the way I taste!Sometimes food just doesn't agree with you. This phrase, or a variation thereof, is spoken throughout fiction by characters caught between a rock and a slobbering monstrosity trying to eat them. For obvious reasons, it's quite common in animated comedies featuring animal characters, too. The phrase is not usually expected to actually dissuade the predator from attacking—often, not even by the character in question, who'll likely consider it quite radical and far-fetched—but it can be good for stalling, giving our heroes more time to think of an effective means of escape before they're eaten by the enemy. In some rare cases, it's related to Too Spicy for Yog Sothoth and Regret Eating Me. Not the opposite of I Taste Delicious.
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Anime and Manga
- In episode 9 of Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai, when Maria enters the club room, she bumps into Yozora, who's wearing a horse head mask. She freaks out when she sees it, then Yozora jokingly says she's going to eat the girl. Maria claims she won't taste good and has been eating vegetables, but Yozora says she doesn't mind, and says she's a vegetarian.
- A Fairy Tail filler includes Happy being abducted by runaways from a dark guild who hope to eat him. What makes his use of this trope odd is that he isn't saying this to stall. He's genuinely concerned that he'll taste bad because he really has to pee.
- Smith from Ginga Nagareboshi Gin tries this with the Koga dogs, saying that bi-colored dogs like him would cause a stomachache and red dogs tasted better.
- In The Lion King, Zazu says this to the hyenas.
- Subverted in Garfield: The Movie. When Garfield gets cornered by rats when searching for Odie, he says that he'd be too fatty for the rats to eat. Then they say...that fat's fine with them.
- The Hobbit An Un Expected Journey. Dwarfs try to sway troll from eating them by claiming that they have such things as "Parasites as big as me arm!"
- Rutt and Tuke try doing this in Brother Bear when they think Kenai (whom they meet for the first time) was going to eat them. But after a mild insult from one moose to the other, they end up insulting each other until the insult "BIG NOSE!" comes in.
- Subverted in Mogworld, wherein Jim says the line to a monster, realizing a second later that, being a zombie, he's more than likely telling the truth.
- In Kids Praise 9: The Search For Psalty's Missing 9, Psalty and the kids encounter a tribe of bookibals who plan on eating the main character. One of the kids tries to dissuade them by pointing out Psalty's name is indicative of how he'll taste.
- In James and the Giant Peach, the centipede says this to the huge cloud man.
- In The Silver Chair, a Talking Stag tries this and fails to avoid being eaten by giants. The protagonists overhear them talking about the incident later, which results in an Alien Lunch moment of horror when they realize they are eating the Stag.
- A sketch on The Muppet Show has Kermit, as Sindbad the Sailor, telling Sweetums that frogs taste terrible "even with lots of ketchup." To back it up, he asks his crew, "Have I ever been accused of good taste?"
- Inverted in the episode "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" on MST3K, where they have the soon-to-be-first-victim saying "I'm probably very tasty and well-marbled. Not something I've often thought about..."
- The ALF episode "La Cucaracha" has Gordon dealing with a giant alien cockroach out to get him:
Alf: Listen, you don't want to eat me. I'm pure gristle. My whole family has an aftertaste! If you can hold out, there's doughnuts on the way.Cockroach: (thrashes through the kitchen)Alf: Good idea, put some coffee on.
Alf: Oh, I should have guessed... It probably likes gristle. Now I feel like a tease.
- Played with when he escapes to the bedroom a moment later:
- On the Power Rangers Turbo episode "Slice of the Pie", the Monster of the Week bakes the Rangers into a pizza (yes, we know). Cassie tries to dissuade him from eating them by saying she's "not cooked enough yet".
- "Tastes Bad to Monsters" is actually a beneficial status in one tabletop game.
- Werewolf: The Apocalypse has the Merit "Bad Taste", which puts any werewolf or other monster who bites you at some disadvantage due to nausea. Unfortunately, it also means that dogs, wolves and other werewolves won't lick your face or hands, which is a problem socially.
- There is a spell in Dungeons & Dragons that turns your blood into an acid that injures any monsters that bite you.
- And a lower level spell, called "Horrible Taste", which causes nausea in any monster that bites you.
- In Super Mario 64 DS, Tuxie the baby penguin begs Yoshi not to eat her because she tastes terrible and will give him cavities. Yoshi promptly spits her back out.
- This is a common response in the second Ys game when Adol turns into a monster. (Ironic, since the monsters in question are harmless kangaroo-like creatures.)
- Digger tries to convince Grim Eyes and other hyenas that she is unclean and therefore inedible.
- In Dreamwalk Journal, Fleur says the line to her hungry spider companion.
- Ship Leesoo from Tower of God subverts this by telling the Bull he tastes delicious to protect a Mandong Whale. The Bull looks at him once and turns away.
- Baam once says this to Rak on their first meeting.
- In Totally Spies!, Alex tries it on a giant squid, adding "Once, a mosquito bit me and it was sick for, like, two weeks afterward!"
- Ami, to a Sasquatch in Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: "I'm not part of your balanced diet! I'm not kosher!"
- In Taz-Mania, Wendel says it to Taz. Taz tries to eat him anyway and discovers that Wendel was telling the truth.
- Parodied in Recess. T.J. is captured by the kindergarteners, and then Captain Sticky goes up to him and says, "You Food!". T.J.'s response (While trying to "communicate" with them by speaking like them), "Me? Food? No! Me taste bad! Yucky poo-poo!". It turned out they wanted to give him food.
- In one Looney Tunes cartoon, Foghorn Leghorn tries to convince Henry Hawk not to eat him because he's nothing gristle.
- In an episode of Pound Puppies (2010) ("Homeward Pound"), Squirt pleads with a bear who caught him after falling down a waterfall by claiming he's "stringy" and "chock full of preservatives".
- Jimmy Neutron tries this to prevent a hawk from eating him. "You know, I'm really high in HDL Cholesteral...that's the bad kind."
- Garrett attempts this on a ghost that wanted to eat him in Extreme Ghostbusters. He uses the above "Nothing but skin and bones line". Unfortunately for him, skin and bones are the creature's favorite part.
- In Back at the Barnyard, Pip the mouse does this in desperation when a pet snake is about to eat him, telling him he's too spicy. Luckily the snake doesn't since Pip defended him from an abusive owner.