Nathaniel P. is the white guy, FYI.
Dating is probably the most fraught human interaction there is. You're sizing people up to see if they're worth your time and attention, and they're doing the same to you. It's meritocracy applied to personal life, but there's no accountability...But who cares, right? It's just girl stuff.
— Aurit
The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. is a 2013 novel by Adelle Waldman, chronicling the romantic relationships of Nathaniel Piven, a Brooklyn-dwelling up-and-coming novelist, as he struggles to understand women, adjust to his rising literary status, and reconcile what he values intellectually with what he desires sexually.
Waldman also wrote a short story "New Year's," a prequel giving us Nate's friend Aurit's Backstory and her history with him.
This Work Contains Examples of
- A-Cup Angst: When Nate turns down sex with a girl named Justine, she cries that her ex told her no man would find her attractive unless she got breast implants.
- All Girls Like Ponies: Nate assumes that the cute, cheerful barista at his favorite coffee shop was once "a well-loved girl who hung pictures of horses on her bedroom wall."
- A Man Is Always Eager: Downplayed with Nate, who thinks about sex a lot but guilt or a bad mood can dampen his desire.
- Ambiguously Bi: Greer. She floats the idea of Nate watching her have sex with a woman – but it never happens.
- Amicable Exes: Nate is still friends with Kristen and Elisa. Even he and Hannah manage a civil conversation when they see each other at the end.
- Am I Just a Toy to You?: Nate almost doesn't ask Hannah out because he's come to dread the moment when the woman he's with realizes all he's interested in is sex.
- An Immigrant's Tale: In universe. This is the subject of Nate's novel.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Nate cops to liking certain problematic things, including "consumer goods from China, jet travel, Tori Amos."
- Asian and Nerdy: Even in a group of nerds, a character named Eugene Wu is the one who chimes in with unnecessary facts and corrections.
- Beauty Equals Goodness: Deconstructed. Nate recognizes that he has a tendency to idealize the women he's attracted to.
- Better as Friends: Aurit decides this about her and Nate. Waldman's follow-up short story "New Year's" delves into why.
- Betty and Veronica: As a teenager, Nate has a crush on a girl named Amy Pereleman – one of the hottest girls in school, from a rich family, avaricious, The Veronica. He's crushed on by Michelle Goldstein – cute, bookish, The Betty.
- And between Hannah and Greer. Hannah is more down-to-earth and even-tempered (The Betty), while Greer is more volatile and sexually forward (The Veronica). In a way, Nate's girlfriends can be divided into Betties (Kristen, Hannah) and Veronicas (Elisa, Greer).
- Big Applesauce: Primarily Brooklyn.
- Bittersweet Ending: Nate's doing well. Hannah appears to be doing well. But a part of Nate misses her.
- Books vs. Screens: Discussed. Nate and Hannah debate whether people who prefer classic novels to dumb TV shows are morally superior.
- Bourgeois Bohemian: Nate and his cohorts are all liberal and relatively financially secure.
- Brainless Beauty: Conversed. Jason argues that there's nothing wrong with men preferring attractive women who are less intelligent than them. Aurit cites Lydgate in Middlemarch as an example of that not working out so well.
- Double subverted with Brigita, a model Jason goes out with who he asserts also studied electrical engineering. But he finds out she's "a dud."
- A very downplayed version with Elisa. Although Nate is at first struck by how erudite and attractive she is, he comes to realize that she's not quite intelligent or eloquent enough to be the intellectual writer she aspires to be.
- Kara serves as another downplayed, specific version. She has degrees from Stanford and Johns Hopkins, but in person she comes off dull and unself-aware.
- Break the Cutie: Discussed. At the beginning of the novel, Hannah appears friendly, confident, and lively. As she tells Nate, the uncertainty in their relationship drains her.
- Break the Haughty: When Nate first meets Elisa, the world is her oyster and she refuses to accept not getting her way. Nate dumping her and some career bumps sink her spirit.
- Chocolate of Romance: Nate picks up a Hershey bar to bring to Hannah.
- Cleaning Up Romantic Loose Ends: In the final chapter, in which Nate and Greer are a couple, he/we learn that Juliet got engaged, Aurit's boyfriend Hans has decided to stay in New York with her, Elisa is dating a reporter at the newsmagazine she works for, and Hannah is allegedly seeing a documentary filmmaker. Justified in that the last chapter takes place over several months, so it's not like all of his previous partners immediately paired off with someone else.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: Greer does not care for Nate's friendship with Aurit or Elisa. She's also suspicious of Hannah.
- Commitment Issues: Nate's got 'em. He dreads the monotony of a relationship, and impingement on his freedom.
- Jason too is obsessed with a coworker but doesn't ask her out because he predicts he'd hate being in a relationship.
- Crying After Sex: Greer, after having sex with Nate on their first date.
- Deconfirmed Bachelor: Nate after getting to know Hannah. He discovers he prefers having a girlfriend to the single life. Although it doesn't work out with her, this revelation leads him to tolerate Greer's flaws when they get together.
- Double Date: Of the kind that leads to comparisons between couples. Nate and Hannah go on one with his friend Mark and Mark's new girlfriend Cara. Nate notes how Hannah is much more interesting and easy to get along with than Cara, but also how attractive Cara is.
- Endearingly Dorky: Greer cites Nate's haplessness as the reason she chose him.
- Everyone Loves Blondes: Nate's love interests (Amy, Kristen, Elisa, Emily Kovans) are often blonde.
- Fan Disservice: At one point there is a play-by-play description of Nate and Hannah having sex where Hannah is so clearly not enjoying herself that it makes it all rather awkward.
- Feminine Women Can Cook: Elisa cooks for Nate. Hannah cooks for Nate. The pleasure Greer gets from cooking for him is an extension of her "feminine virtues."
- The First Cut Is the Deepest: Invoked by Nate, who tries to get out of sleeping with Justine by fibbing that he's still hung up on Kristen.
- First Girl Wins: Averted. Nate doesn't end up with the first girl the reader encounters (Juliet) or the first one he goes out with in the book (Hannah) or the girls from his childhood (Amy/Michelle), but a woman who's mentioned in passing and grows in importance (Greer).
- Flexibility Equals Sex Ability: Nate runs into Greer, who he finds quite sexy, after her yoga class.
- Freudian Trio: Nate and his college friends Jason and Peter, in terms of their attitudes towards relationships. Jason, who's unabashedly superficial, is the id. Peter, the superego, is eager to find a girlfriend. Nate, the ego, is somewhere in between – he's not as shallow or as disrespectful to women as Jason, but he has hang-ups about commitment.
- Good Girls Avoid Abortion: Defied. Juliet chooses abortion over letting an unwanted pregnancy with Nate derail their lives.
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Subverted with Elisa, who is spoiled, entitled, and hypercritical.
- Hidden Depths: Nate and his friends treat Aurit like a Soapbox Sadie, but "New Year's" reveals her complex feelings about herself, feminism, and Nate.
- Hookers and Blow: Discussed. Jason imagines that if he enters a serious relationship with a nice woman, before long he'll feel suffocated and get an urge to "get the fuck to some dank club full of models and do some coke," even though he admits he doesn't even care for coke.
- Hysterical Woman: Greer qualifies. Deconstructed/Lampshaded by Hannah, who accuses Nate of acting like she's some "demanding, hysterical girlfriend," which in turn causes her to get angry and reactive.
- I'm a Man; I Can't Help It: Nate considers invoking these principles to justify cheating on Kristen, but decides that kind of reasoning is too sordid.
- Insecure Love Interest: Nate marvels that someone as vivacious as Greer would be interested in him.
- Insufferable Genius: Downplayed with Nate, who's generally well-liked, though Hannah admits when she first met him she found him "smarmy and self-satisfied."
- The Internet Is for Porn: Nate works at his local coffee shop to force himself not to look at porn.
- It's Not You, It's Me: Played with. Nate doesn't let on that Hannah did anything to cause their breakup, blaming his own problems with relationships. But because we've been in his head the whole book, we know which of her actions drove him away. But we've also witnessed moments where he gets irritated with her for doing nothing wrong, like offering to make him eggs for breakfast.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Jason is a shameless chauvinist, but he does correctly perceive that Hannah isn't quite right for Nate.
- Lets Wait Awhile: Hannah invites Nate to her apartment on their second date and lets him stay the night, but suggests it's too early to have sex.
- Lousy Lovers Are Losers: Played With with Elisa, who is snobby and self-centered and thus a total cold fish in the bedroom. But Nate recalls enjoying sex with her at first because he got some erotical sense of "conquest" over making such a haughty woman moan and squeal. But as he becomes more aware of her personality defects, sex loses its appeal.
- And Hannah caps off her last angry, accusatory email to Nate with "You're really bad in bed."
- Love Hurts: And dating's rough. Nate breaks a few hearts.
- Love Makes You Uncreative: Subverted with Nate, who is "even more productive than usual" during the heady days of his relationship with Hannah.
- Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Greer has shades of this. She's emotionally unpredictable, sexually adventurous, and brings excitement to Nate's life. Downplayed in that she has her own life, including her own literary career.
- Most Writers Are Male: Discussed. Hannah claims that Nate's success is due to his gender and the "arrogant sense of entitlement that comes with it." Nate agrees but privately speculates that Hannah would be further along in her career if she put in more effort.
- Most Writers Are Writers: A debut novel about a debut novelist.
- Mouthy Kid: Averted in Nate's own novel, which he originally plans to write from the perspective of a smart, pithily observant kid, before realizing such a character would be "insufferable."
- My Girl Is a Slut: Nate finds it hot that Hannah got around in high school.
- Nice Girl: Hannah has a reputation for being "nice and smart."
- Not Like Other Girls: Nate doesn't say it out loud, but he does view Hannah as smarter and more independent than other women he knows (and is privately surprised she's as smart as him).
- Not Wanting Kids Is Weird: Inverted. Motherhood isn't a priority for the female characters. Nate encounters a woman he briefly went out with who he found "a little too maternal."
- Of Corsets Sexy: Elisa wears a black-and-red striped corset for Nate. Downplayed in that Nate is starting to lose interest in her, so he's more "touched" by the gesture than aroused.
- One-Steve Limit: Subverted. Nate has dated two women named Emily, and had a small crush on a girl named Emily in high school.
- And discussed, by Nate and his friends, who talk over which universities have the most Lindsays.
- Uptight Loves Wild: Nate is cerebral and intellectual, Greer wears her heart on her sleeve and cares more about pop culture than highbrow culture. But Nate enjoys the contrast between them, and that she gives him something he doesn't get from work or his friends.
- Pity Sex: Discussed. Nate has sex with an insecure girl named Justine, but he recognizes eventually that "pity couldn't be transmuted into romantic feeling."
- Psycho Ex-Girlfriend: Downplayed/Justified. Elisa continues to fixate on her and Nate's relationship, but given that he seemed to really care about her at first, and he continued to sleep with her after dumping her, who could blame her? Hannah too sends a cringeworthy email to Nate after they break up, and then an angry one when she gets nothing but radio silence, but after what he put her through, again, who could blame her?
- Sex Equals Love: Nate assumes he and Greer are "a short-term thing," but they become serious and end up moving in together.
- Sexual Karma: Zig-zagged. Nate deliberately cheats on Kristen, described as a deeply good person, with a random, trashy girl at a party. The sex is so unpleasant that it makes him feel especially guilty, though he still entertains the thought of cheating on her again.
- Sex with the Ex: Nate indulges in this with Elisa.
- Shipper on Deck: Aurit likes Hannah and chastises Nate for being wishy-washy on her.
- A Side Order of Romance: Downplayed. Nate is attracted to the barista at his favorite coffee shop but never acts on it.
- Single Woman Seeks Good Man: Deconstructed. The women who are drawn to Nate are drawn to his Nice Jewish Boy persona, but since we see the inner-workings of his mind, we know he can be selfish, petty, and emotionally careless.
- Slice of Life: It's the story of a fairly ordinary relationship, made interesting through emotional exploration and character analysis.
- Sliding Scale of Beauty: Elisa and Cara are World Class Beauties, while Hannah is more of a Common Beauty or Cool/Special Average. Hannah, though, has a way better personality than either of these women, in defiance of Beauty Equals Goodness.
- Sliding Scale of Plot Versus Characters: On the character side. It's practically a character study.
- Smoking Is Glamorous: Zig-zagged. Early in their relationship, Nate finds Hannah sexy when she lights one up, but in the course of their relationship the smell irritates him.
- Stupid Sexy Friend: Aurit is embarrassed to find herself crushing on Nate in "New Year's."
- Unfocused During Intimacy: During a night of tepid sex with Hannah, Nate starts thinking about a porn actress who resembles Greer, and he can tell Hannah's mind is elsewhere as well.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Aurit gives Nate this when he neglects to call Hannah after their second date. And again when he doesn't reply to Hannah's post-breakup email.
- You Need to Get Laid: Nate needles Jason about his fussiness around women and sex by asking "When actually was the last time you got laid? Who was president? Did you have dial-up or broadband?"
