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Am I Just a Toy to You?
Twist: I'm not just here for one thing! Why can't you see me as a whole?
Brian: I do.
Twist: A whole, Brian, with a 'W'!
Spaced

A situation common in works that aren't bound by No Hugging, No Kissing standards. Alice is being flirted with by Bob in such a manner that it's unambiguously clear that he has an interest in her. This interest can range from playful teasing to kissing or even going all the way.

However, Bob has a reputation as The Casanova or Handsome Lech with a penchant for going through girlfriends faster than a box of tissues, which makes Alice believe that he only views her as another Girl of the Week. This depresses Alice because she really does like Bob, but dreads the inevitable day when he will grow tired of her and move on to a new conquest.

Eventually Alice will have to ask Bob the titular question. Inevitably, the answer is no; Bob's interest in Alice is more than sexual desire (which is implicitly shallow) and on a deeper emotional level.

Sometimes Bob will be so used to Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places that he doesn't realize his deeper feelings for Alice at first, and will have to learn that there is a difference between lust and love.

Note that if Alice instead believes wholeheartedly that she's "different" to Bob, Bob will almost always live up to his womanizing reputation and leave her heartbroken.

Also see Sex Equals Love which sometimes overlaps with this, though the focus here is on whether the sex or flirting is motivated by love or not.

Examples:

Anime and Manga
  • Early on in the Gravitation manga, Shuichi confronts Yuki on his sleeping around with women even after he's agreed to take Shuichi as his lover, demanding to know where he stands among all these women. Yuki replies that he's the first one... in stupidity, anyway. Later events prove that he really does care for Shuichi as more than a sex toy, though.
  • Berserk: Casca seems to imply this after she and Guts make love when he returns to aid the Hawks one year after he had left. He tells her his plans of leaving again after their leader Griffith is rescued, which leaves Casca thinking of Guts as a selfish bastard who is ready to forget about her. Then he tells her to come with him.

Film
  • In Iron Man, there are shades of this with Pepper and Tony's relationship. After they slow dance at a party, they go out on the balcony where Pepper has a minor freakout; partly because Tony's reputation as a Casanova makes her insecure about his intentions. Further complicated by the fact that she really is attracted to him.

Literature
  • A staple of romantic novels.
  • Loretta Chase's Mr. Impossible. Daphne thinks that Loveable Rogue Rupert's shameless come-ons to her are only his standard way of playing around with women. It isn't until near the end of the novel that Rupert realizes that love is the reason why his feelings for Daphne are more complex than wanting to get her naked, and is finally able to enter into an actual relationship with her.
  • In Heroes Adrift Lee finally gets sexually involved with her Urban Legend Love Life partner Taro. This scene is definitely likely to happen in the next book, seeing as she went into it expecting to get dumped when he finds other women to boink.
  • It's probably completely platonic, but something very similar to this trope happens in the Hand of Thrawn duology. Supreme Commander Pellaeon, hearing the rumors of his mentor and leader Grand Admiral Thrawn coming Back from the Dead, talks to a subordinate, trying to work out why Thrawn wouldn't have contacted him. He considers that maybe Thrawn just wants him where he is, out of the way.
    Subordinate: I don't believe he would do that to you, sir. Not after all you went through together.
    Pellaeon: You don't believe that any more than I do. Thrawn wasn't human, you know, no matter how human he might have looked. He was an alien, with alien thoughts and purposes and agendas. Perhaps I was never more to him than just one more tool he could use in reaching his goal.
  • In the Wheel of Time series, Mat gets used as a "doll" by Queen Tylin. He gets a bit of teasing for this, even before the rest of the cast knows what's actually going on, since he has a reputation as a womanizer.

Live-Action TV
  • In the Buffy episode "Hush," Anya complains that Xander doesn't have any strong feelings for her and believes the only thing he cares about is "lots of orgasms." She's proven wrong when Xander assaults Spike, believing him to be attacking her and drinking her blood.
  • In Cheers, Diane mulls over this subject often, regarding Sam's feelings towards her.
  • In Spaced Twist asks Brian that she wants him to see her as a whole. When he assures her he does, she stresses "A whole Brian, with a w."
  • In the My Name Is Earl Flashback episode "Guess Who's Coming Out of Joy," Joy has been cheating on Earl with Darnell. She suggests getting down in the freezer at the Crab Shack, which does not appeal to Darnell. He then asks her, "Why's it always gotta be just sex with us? I want to go to the movies, like a normal couple!" The two proceed to argue, and (temporarily) end their relationship.
  • In Gossip Girl, Blair wonders if the only reason Chuck has been pursuing her so tenaciously is because he can't stand losing. He confirms that it was all just a game to him. He's lying through his teeth.

Music
  • In the song "Paradise by the Dashboard Light", Phil Rizzuto's baseball play-by-play (which is also describing what's going on in the car between the two teens,) says
    safe at third! Holy cow, stolen base!
    He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost
    daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher
    glance over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted
    down the third base line, the suicide squeeze in on!
    Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close,
    here's the throw, there's the play at the plate,
    holy cow, I think he's gonna make it!
    • Which makes that a hell of a time to stop and have a relationship talk.
      • But one which makes him duly compliant in promising to love her 'til the end of time - and, in due course, praying for that very same end of time to be released from his promise.
  • The song "Starring Role" by Marina and the Diamonds is pretty much this trope. To quote the first verse :
    You're hard to hug, tough to talk to, and I never fall asleep
    When you're in my bed, all you give me is a heartbeat
    I've turned into a statue, and it makes me feel depressed
    'Cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed
    • But that's just the "best" part of it, more or less everything else reminds one of this trope.
  • The Drifters' "You're More Than a Number in My Little Red Book" is an attempt to console a lover who's been convinced otherwise by the rumour mill.

Video Games
  • One of the most annoying parts of Metal Gear Solid 2 is Rose whining about this. Ironically, the reverse is true. She seduced Raiden as part of the Patriots' plans for him before Becoming the Mask.
  • Surprisingly, Hanako's path in Katawa Shoujo inverts this. Hanako allows Hisao to have sex with her because she doesn't want him to keep seeing her as a child that needs to be protected.
    • Turns up in Emi Ibarazaki's path as well. Hisao thinks this may be the case, as she sleeps with Hisao multiple times, but doesn't want him to get closer to her emotionally. Thankfully, he realises her reasoning behind this and the pair eventually overcome their difficulties.

Web Comics

Web Original
  • After a date full of awkward small talk, The Nostalgia Critic screams this at The Nostalgia Chick, asking if she even cares about him before storming off. We find out later that he's one of the very few people who she does give a damn about.

Western Animation
All Women Are PrudesSex TropesAnatomically Impossible Sex
All Women Are PrudesAdministrivia/No Real Life Examples, Please!Asexuality

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