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Lets Play: The Heartless
"JUMP TO VICTORY!"

The Heartless, known on YouTube as 666theheartless666 and better known to his slices as Steve, is a British Let's Player of Survival Horror games. His claim to distinction is deliberately making himself a Chew Toy: nearly all his videos are blind Let's Plays of games famous for their scariness and/or frustration value, all in the name of creating maximum Angrish for his slices' viewing pleasure. It helps that he's a total scaredy cat and that he's absolutely terrible at puzzles. In his own words, "I make videos of me yelling at games until I go purple in the face."

Noted for his aversion to swearing, numerous Catch Phrases, and penchant for singing at unusual times, as well as some fanart drawn by Humon. Of late, he's also been noted for making LPs with his mother, who has rapidly become a fan favorite. He is also on good terms with fellow Survival Horror LPer Mangaminx, which explains why they share some mannerisms, and occasionally he name-drops his friend LittleKuriboh. deviantART member ChichiriCatSan draws his title cards and another deviantART member, Zeurel provides the animated intros.

He has a fan Youtube Channel called the Homeslice Portal, which makes highlight reels for his LPs.

Not to be confused with the monsters of the same name.
     Heartless's Lets Plays 

Heartless's LPs provide examples of:

  • And Now For Something Completely Different: His commentary-free LP of Postal 2's "Mission of the Petition".
    • His LP of Slender played with his Mum. Hilarity Ensues.
      • Every LP with Steve's mom features a lot more giggling than usual, both on their parts and on the fans'.
    • Cry of Fear Part 16. YouTube's copyright bots didn't like sound in the episode, so Steve put oddly epic background music over the whole thing to muffle whatever the bots were latching onto.
    • The "Christmas Special"... of Street Cleaning Simulator 2012.
  • Angrish: What he's best known for.
  • Big Word Shout
  • Catch Phrase:
    • "HELLEEEOOOWWWW."
    • "FOOF!"
    • "It's a GHOSTIE/HORRIBLE/MONTMER/VIHLE BEAHST/ETC.!"
    • "For Christ's SAKE!"
    • "Gonna put my fist through this X in a moment!"
    • "Me old china!"
    • "What do I have to DO?!" and "What IS this?!"
    • "Shoosh, gotta be quiet!" and "JUMP TO VICTORY!" are some of Steve's most recognizable catchphrases, though they're more or less exclusive to the Call of Cthulhu LP.
    • "My face" is also used in a number of contexts (ex. "Hello and welcome to Let's Play Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of My Face.").
    • His Resident Evil 6 LP generated "BACK FOR MORE?!"
  • Breakout LPer: The response to Steve's mom was so overwhelmingly positive that he's made several LPs with her since.
  • The Chew Toy: Steve's Let's Plays are less about Steve playing the game and more about Steve suffering.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Mostly evidenced by the singing.
  • Companion Cube: Rabbit in Amnesia and Genie in one of the custom stories.
  • Continuity Nod: In Posthistoric Survival, Steve picks up a cooked fish. His immediate response? "At least you can't smell it."
  • Contractual Genre Blindness: Steve understands that his hilariously frustrated reactions are what the slices come to see. As such, he deliberately avoids walkthroughs, spoilers, basic play tips, and even standard game descriptions in order to make himself as confused/surprised/frustrated as possible. Basically, he suffers on purpose for the sake of your entertainment. You Bastard.
  • Crowning Moment Of Awesome: Steve more or less considers his completion of Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth to be a huge personal achievement. invoked
  • Cunning Linguist: Steve knows Latin rather well, which came in handy to solve a puzzle in Amnesia: The Dark Descent
  • Die, Chair! Die!
  • First Name Basis/Only One Name: "The Heartless" is just Steve to his slices.
  • Fun with Subtitles: Whenever Steve yells something nonsensical in terror/frustration, he tries to transcribe whatever he said. Examples include "MESALUVVAJUDE" and "ILGIVYABISTABBINOO"
    • Sometimes he'll also caption whatever he's doing for added emphasis or ironic effect. Example:
      Steve: Jesus, it took like 40 hours—
      Subtitle: [1 Minute & 22 Seconds]
    • And then there's that intro to Let's Attempt Dark Souls: Part 7.
  • Genre Savvy: Steve does know virtually all the Survival Horror tricks and tropes. They just get him anyway.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Steve absolutely refuses to use most swear words in his LPs and bleeps himself out whenever he yells one accidentally. In addition, he tends to be hilariously scandalized by characters swearing in-game, though he doesn't bleep these.
    Steve: Stop saying the s-word! You have a vocabulary, Leon; use it!
    • Although he does yell things like "Jesus Christ!" and "For Christ's sake!" and clearly has no problem with "dammit" or "hell."
  • Ha Ha Ha No
  • Heroic BSOD
  • Hypocritical Humor: "GODDAMMIT! Stop SWEARING!"note 
  • Insane Equals Violent: Whenever Sanity Slippage starts to occur, expect Steve to start firing his gun/swinging his weapon at inanimate objects.
  • Insistent Terminology: Steve both deliberately and accidentally mispronounces things. Most of these mispronunciations then stick for the remainder of the LP. Of particular note is "montmers," which is used throughout multiple LPs.
  • Invisible Wall: Lampshaded in the Resident Evil 6 LP.
    Steve (as Leon): Something doesn't feel right. I just— I just can't seem to go this way. It's like... an immovable force...
  • Ladies and Germs: "This is it, ladies and gentleslices!"
  • Lovable Coward: Steve is easily terrified by things like Jump Scares. Ironically enough, he works in public protection.
  • Mondegreen: How "Endo Gladry" got that name in SCP 087-b.
  • The Nicknamer: Steve almost never remembers character names, preferring to invent his own. Examples include:
    • Jackobie for Jack Walters.
    • Amabel in Penumbra gets nicknamed "babycakes." The worm gets named "Gerard" (Gerod? Jerrod?).
    • Amy Smart for Grunts/Mr. Face and Britney Spears for Brutes/Mr. Tall in Amnesia: The Dark Descent.
      • Initially, he decides to call Daniel "Ronald" for no reason other than that he feels like it.
    • Gertrude for the player character in Slender.
      • Amabel also gets called this once or twice.
    • "Endo Gladry" (based on a Mondegreen on Steve's part) for the enemy in SCP 087-b.
    • In his Minecraft videos, he calls the zombies "Zombars", skeletons "Skelingtons" or "Skelly" and creepers "cactuses". He throws a Lampshade on it in the first video of his Hard difficulty playthrough.
  • Nightmare Fuel: Pretty much anything to do with the Mask of the Child from his Dark Souls let's play. Especially during the beginning of episode 25 (I SEE YOU) and the ending of episode 27. Poor Quinton...
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Steve nicknames the Brute/Mr. Tall "Britney Spears" (which is actually a South Park reference).
  • Noodle Incident: Steve has apparently fallen off of his roof. Evidently it didn't hurt that much, which is why he gets frustrated with falling damage in some of the games he plays.
  • Oh, Crap
  • OOC Is Serious Business: Steve adamantly insists that nobody spoil things, no matter how far off he is. If he gets frustrated enough to ask for advice, you know things've gotten really desperate.
    • Likewise, Steve tends to get very loud and vocal when he's scared and/or irritated (it's what the slices come to see, after all). If he goes silent, you know he's either on the verge of a heart attack or a Rage Quit.
  • Overly Long Gag: Steve's Running Gags and Catch Phrases get repeated so often that they become annoying, only to become funny again several repetitions later.
  • Precision F-Strike: When Steve is sufficiently scared, he'll forget about Gosh Dang It to Heck! and just blurt out the first (and often worst) swear word that comes to mind. Even though he bleeps it, it always has this effect.
  • Quicksand Box: Steve often becomes paralyzed by large levels and tends to get very, very lost.
  • Rage Quit: But he always comes back eventually.
  • Relax-o-Vision: After one Heroic BSOD, Steve begins screaming and firing all his ammo at nothing. It immediately cuts to a black screen playing upbeat piano music with the caption "Just wait a tick, I'm freaking out."
  • Running Gag: Many of which become Catch Phrases. Most notable is probably, "What IS this?!"
  • Sanity Slippage: Given the types of games he plays, this is sort of inevitable.
    • Of particular note is his LP of Dark Corners of the Earth, which is played over the course of several years. He goes from relatively enjoying the game to screaming while firing round after round of ammo at lamps to (infamously, thanks to Humon) singing "Cuban Pete" during the boss fight with Mother Hydra.
  • Shout-Out: Steve makes frequent references to South Park, among other things.
  • Spoonerism: Mispronunciations are pretty common with Steve. Many of these become Insistent Terminology.
  • Stock British Phrases: "Bloody hell!" and "Me old china!" come up a lot, among others.
  • Suddenly Shouting: A signature of his LPs - Steve can go from normal speaking voice to MAXIMUM VOLUME and back to normal all in the same breath.
  • That One Puzzle: Basically every puzzle is this to Steve.note 
    • In an inversion of sorts, Steve has such trouble with puzzles that when he got the circuit programming puzzle in Penumbra on the first try, it was cause for note.
    • In the fans' memories, this would probably be "tree, squiggle and a tree, squiggle AND A MAN!!!"

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