Funny / Xenoblade Chronicles 1

General

Our legendary Heropon, ladies and gentlemen.

• Some of the end-of-battle quotes. In fact each of the 37 potential combinations (35 threes and two early-game duos) of characters has an amusing post-battle quote. Most of them are pretty good and they don't repeat often enough to become grating. Here are some of the most hilarious:
  Melia: Here Riki, Riki, Riki... May I stroke your fur please?
  Riki: Melly always welcome!
  Reyn: Me too! Me too!
  Riki: Reyn give one biscuit for every stroke!
  Reyn: Hey! Why am I the only one who has to give you stuff!?
  
  Reyn: You can't have a rainbow without Reyn, baby!
  Melia: Dunban, I think you need to have a talk with Reyn.
  Dunban: No, let's pretend it didn't happen.
  
  Riki: Riki wish Melly was real big sister!
  Melia: Aww. But what about Sharla?
  Riki: Sharla more like mama. One mama enough.
  Sharla: Now you wait just a minute!^note Ironically, both Riki and Melia are quite a bit older than Sharla, at least by Homs standards.
  
  Melia: He's [Riki] so cuddly I could almost cuddle him to death.
  Dunban: Riki may well be the softest of all Nopon.
  Riki: Riki suddenly feel afraid...^note It becomes Hilarious in Hindsight if you did the Heart-to-Heart 'A Mysterious Sanctuary' first, and got all possible hearts, where Riki says that Melia can "stroke [his] fur and cuddle [him] anytime!"
  
  Reyn: Just goes to show, brawn is better than brains.
  Sharla: Oh no, I can't let that one slip by.
  Melia: The head, shoot him in the head!
  Reyn: What, what did I say?
  
  Reyn: Sharla, did you see me?! Did you see what I did?
  Sharla: Oh, I wasn't really looking.
  Reyn: Oh come on! That ain't fair!
  Shulk: *laughs*
  
  Reyn: Like they say, when the going get going, the tough get tough!
  Riki: Haha! Even Riki know that not right!
  Dunban: Reyn, what are you babbling on about?
  
  Shulk: I wish I had a brother or sister. (referring to Fiora and Dunban) You guys are like a real family.
  Fiora: Well, you're basically like our baby brother.
  Shulk: What?! "Baby" brother?!
  Fiora: *laughs* Be careful what you wish for!
  
  Riki: Thanks to Riki's sidekicks, we win!
  Reyn: What?! Who are you calling 'sidekick'?
  Riki: No see anyone else... must be you!
  Reyn: Stupid furry volleyball... I'm gonna-
  Shulk: *laughs* Reyn, you're such an easy target!
  
  Shulk: (referring to Fiora and Melia) Wow, when did you two get so tough?
  Fiora: What?! Just because we're girls, we're supposed to be wimps?! How rude!
  Melia: Quite. I'm afraid you have much to learn about the fairer sex, Shulk.
  Shulk: Ugh... Why do I get the feeling that mastering the Monado is gonna be easier?
  (Fiora and Melia both laugh)
  
  Riki: Melly! Riki try very hard! You see it?
  Melia: Of course, you sweet thing. Who's a brave boy?
  Shulk: Um... Melia? Are you feeling okay?
  
  Sharla: Isn't it quiet without Reyn or Riki around?
  Dunban: Agreed. Let's continue with this team.
  Melia: *laughs* Hero of the Homs, you have a mean streak!

* If you have Riki in your active party but you're not playing as him, Riki may confirm orders given to AI party members with "Aye aye... nose, mouth!"

• Some of Riki's battle interactions with Dunban are worth a laugh.
  Dunban: I can feel my power returning to me!
  Riki: "Power" sound like "sour"! Sweet better!''
  
  Dunban: Everyone! Feel the FLOW of battle!
  Riki: Riki only feel Dundun's scary voice...
• Sometimes you might have interactions overlap at juuuuust the right time...
  Dunban: Feel the FLOW of battle!
  Shulk: I'm really feeling it.
• Set Reyn as party lead and jump around for a while. One of his voice clips for jumping is "alley-oop!", which is just so unexpected compared to everyone else's that you can't help but laugh.
  • In Definitive Edition, your AI partners use voice clips for jumping, making it all the more likely to hear Reyn shout "Alley-oop!". Bonus points for when it happens in cramped quarters or otherwise quiet areas like towns, so you'll hear Reyn shout "Alley-oop!"
• The same also happens for other characters in Definitive Edition - sometimes their jumping noises sound like they got smacked in the gut or are about to throw-up (in Fiora's case). So sometimes out of nowhere you'll hear "UUH!" or "HYUUUH! ah!" as your allies try to jump over something like a table.
• Gem forging quotes in general. Shulk and Reyn repeatedly shout, 'To me! To you!' like the Chuckle Brothers.
• Melia's Starlight Kick. It's a useful art that can (finally) allow you to force topple on enemies should it be used after Spear Break. However, seeing tiny little Melia drop kick something three times her size so hard she knocks it to the ground is hilarious. The quiet "Ouch" she adds, falling onto her bottom after the attack makes it even funnier.
  Melia: "En Garde!"
  • In Definitive Edition one of Melia's new idle animations is her practicing the move. She braces herself and flaps her arms like a bird while trying.
• One achievement's name all but says that Riki loves to eat bugs. You earn the achievement by having Riki gift 30 bugs to other party members. How cute, he's feeding them!
• Dunban hates Ether Plums with a passion. This is represented in-game by a huge affinity drop towards a party member who gives him one. There's an achievement for doing this.
• It's possible for Riki to wield fish as weapons during battle. Comes in two varieties: the full fish, called the "Fish Biter" in-game, and an eaten fish (with its entire body save for its head being a skeleton) called the "Banquet Biter" in-game.
• One of Riki's heavy armor styles is completely covered with nasty-looking spines. Outfitting Riki in a full set of this makes him look less like a cuddly Nopon and more like a giant spiky steel ball... or a bouncing durian. Becomes even better in cutscenes where a character is cuddling Riki, or his introduction in New Game Plus.
• The player's taste in equipment can provide some unexpected laughs, because you can't help but crack a smile if Dunban is half-naked, Melia is looking astonishing in her heavy armor and reading glasses, and Riki is dancing with a silly Biter on his back when things are supposed to be completely serious.
• Some of the item descriptions are also pretty funny. For example:
  Rotten Meat: Best avoided. Sold with a certificate guaranteeing gastroenteritis.
• Seeing a vision of a really powerful enemy attack... missing. Or just doing one point of damage against a Monado Shield you already set up. Sometimes you don't want to change the future!
• While the cut-scenes in the game are nice, everything outside the camera's view is completely left un-animated. Using a free moving camera hack in a Wii emulator gives us some lovely imagery of what the camera doesn't see.
• A funny little piece of Gameplay and Story Segregation: if you have Shulk in your party but not actively controlling him, it is possible (and, considering his Monado Arts, more than likely) for you to warn him of an incoming vision of the future.
  Dunban: (Warning Shulk) "You saw a vision, yes?"
• Many of the unnamed NPC's have some genuinely hilarious dialogue, especially in Frontier Village. Some of the villagers you find on the outdoor balconies will talk about the Pterixes that fly overhead, and how falling Pterix poo is just a fact of life in the village. One of them even mentions how he hears that the Bionis itself "drops big poos on Colony 9", which really puts a different spin on the falling debris that Colony 9's AA cannons regularly take care of.
• There's a small section of Satorl Marsh filled with assorted Bunnits. Wander around there too much after the events at Mechonis Core, and you might just encounter one of the game's five superbosses.
• The simple fact that, in terms of levels, some tiny little spiders living in the extended Tephra Cave are vastly more powerful than the Final Boss, who is a literal god, not to mention the one responsible for creating all those creatures that are inexplicably more powerful than himself. He really wound up on the bad side of the whole "Can God create a rock so massive even He cannot move it" paradox, huh?
• Characters have a tendency to shout their excitement whenever they level up, which is perfectly fitting when completing a quest or defeating a powerful monster, but gets silly when you walk near a random area in a town and suddenly hear "I CAN FEEL THE POWER!"
• Riki's animation for taking fall damage? Landing on his face.
• The game will occasionally flashback to the past... and remembers what your characters had equipped. This can cause the scenes to be absolutely ruined because it can cut to characters with goofy outfits.
  • The Definitive Edition allows you to set the outfit your characters have - regardless of what their equipment is. Both a welcomed Anti-Frustration Feature for avoiding making characters wear hideous outfits... and to let you absolutely ruin the seriousness of scenes. Like an emotional scene with Jade Face being ruined by making Sharla & Reyn wear swimsuits.

Heart-to-Hearts

• One Heart-to-Heart involves Sharla and Reyn in the Refugee Camp on Bionis Leg. The options that net you the most hearts involves Sharla teasing Reyn.
• A Heart-to-Heart between Shulk and Riki involves Riki bathing within the Jakt Geyser of Valak Mountain while treating it as a hot spring. On the path that gives the most hearts Riki invites Shulk to try...
  Riki: Do not worry, Shulk! Shulk will like water same as Riki.
  The geyser erupts, launching Riki away.
  Shulk: Aaah! The geyser’s blown him away! Time for me to make a run for it! Sorry, Riki!
• An alternate dialogue route in the Heart to Heart "A Scene Revisited" between Reyn and Fiora reveals that Reyn once tried to use the Monado to cut vegetables. Reyn tried to use the only hope against the Mechon, an ancient reality-warping destiny-changing sword containing the soul of a god that created the universe to cut vegetables.
• The Heart-To-Heart moment "Fiora's Cooking" has Reyn and Fiora discuss Fiora's cooking (for Shulk). The choices that gives off the most hearts are both related to Reyn wanting to eat some of Fiora's food.
• The choices that give the most hearts within the Heart-To-Heart moment "Life's Hard for a Heropon" eventually culminates in Riki proposing to move him and his entire family into Dunban's house. The thing is, Riki has lots of children to take care of and Dunban's house is actually quite small. When Dunban calls him out of it, Riki then proposes to make it bigger. Dunban then teasingly ask if he's going to get a loan to help make it bigger. (Riki's backstory is that the only reason why he was "chosen" as the Heropon is because of the huge debt he has to the village).
• Choosing all the best answers for the Heart-to-Heart "The Forefathers", has Riki suggest an anti-Telethia plan involving baiting the telethia into a pit trap and and then burying them alive. At the end, Fiora thinks to herself, "If the Telethia were that stupid, nobody would be scared of them!"
• The Heart-To-Heart "The Legend of the Spider" reveals that Reyn got his phobia of spiders by Shulk putting one in his shoe as a prank. The Heart-To-Heart also reveals Shulk did that prank in response to Reyn's prank of putting a caterpillar in his sock drawer, with the implication that it gave Shulk a similar phobia towards caterpillars.

Main Story

• The casual way Fiora summarizes Shulk as being "delicate."
• It's entirely possible the player will swap Fiora's into blue bikini top and leave her in it until she leaves the party. And since the game accounts for player equipment during in-engine cutscenes, every flashback to her death will have her wearing that blue bikini top.
• After the Ether Mines, Shulk and Reyn stand near a cliff edge and commiserate over not finding Metal Face. Guess whose enormous form suddenly rises over the ridge?
  Metal Face: Hope I'm not interrupting...
• Melia's introduction starts with the wrong foot when a recently awoken Melia slaps Shulk clean in the face. Cue awkward apology.
  Melia: My apologies. I've never had the pleasure of coming into contact with a male Homs.
  Dunban: (laughing) "Coming into contact"?
  Reyn: Hey, Shulk; you're creeping this lady out! *Grin/thumbs up combo*
  Shulk: Shut up, Reyn!
  Melia: This large one is far worse.
  Reyn: Me!?
  *Shulk smiles and thumbs up back at Reyn, Sharla laughs*
  • Also, if you watch Dunban when Melia slaps Shulk, Dunban quietly laughs his ass off.
• Once Melia's in the party she ends up being pretty funny in general. See her post-battle Mortal Kombat reference:
  Melia: Flawless victory.
  • When Melia is accepting a quest and Sharla is in the party, Sharla can tell her to be more casual. Melia tries, but just ends up being Adorkable.
    Melia: G-gotcha...friendio! Leave it to us...m-mate!
• Riki's introduction, full stop. Words cannot do it justice.
• Dunban's sarcastic reaction to a bunch of assassins barging into the room the team is being held in.
  Dunban: Excuse me? We ordered room service an hour ago.
• When the party first enters the High Entia Tomb, Reyn presses a button out of sheer curiosity, inadvertantly activating a trap meant to prevent "uninvited guests" from visiting the tomb. Naturally, everyone chews him out for it. The face Riki made while he and the rest of the party fell down the hole after Reyn pushed said button is also funny.
• Near the end of the dungeon, Reyn complains about how long it's taking and Alvis snarks about how they could have gotten there faster if somebody didn't push the button, which is funny enough coming from Alvis as-is and becomes even funnier when you learn just what Alvis is.
• Even when Metal Face is in the middle of an invasion and being chased by tons of High Entia defense drones, he still finds time to crack a bad joke.
  Metal Face: This fly infestation is beginning to bug me! Ha ha!
  • He later refers to the Sky Rays as "ginormous... things".
• Certain Mechonis enemies drop equipment that leaves your characters in their underpants - leading to some potential hilarity in the Wham Episode to come.
• When the party falls onto the flying Junks, Dickson drops down to greet Shulk and Fiora with open arms...and Reyn with his feet. The uncomfortable expression on Shulk and Fiora's faces are priceless.
• A cutscene reveals how Colonel Vangarre survived Sword Valley being moved by the Mechonis. He's being held by a fellow Homs soldier who is, in turn, holding onto a Nopon aerial unit (which consists of a few Nopon soldiers riding a Pterix). What Drill Sergeant Nasty Vangarre yells in response to this is what makes it funny, threatening the soldier with doing sit-ups for the rest of his life if he were to drop him.
• The end cutscene has a few good gags, from the fishing antics between Reyn and Riki, to Shulk awkwardly pretending not to notice that Fiora got her old body back, changing the subject to her hairstyle of all things.

Sidequests

• One sidequest has Shulk talking to Désirée, to help her decide her future. All you have to do to complete the quest is essentially talk to her for a while, so the quest tasks just say things such as "Try not to fall asleep while listening to Désirée's story."
  • Part of the way through, Shulk uses his quest completed dialogue, trying to finish it up early. Much to her annoyance.
• Many of the quests found within Frontier Village are written from the quest giver's point of view. Even the messages given once you've completed the quests are written from their point of view. Their reactions for you completing some of their quests are priceless due to simple-like personalities.
• One of the Frontier Village quests involves finding a hook a Nopon lost because he wanted to try and catch Deinos. Once you've completed the quest, it's revealed that he's too light to be able to anchor himself onto the ground once he manages to get one hooked.
• Kuriku the young Nopon's personality description states that he's a Spherical Nopon.
• The end of the Red Pollen Orb sidequest chain, where you confront Bana the Nopon. You promptly fight him as a Unique Monster to the tune of Tragic Decision. He's also at a higher level than Yaldabaoth, which is, according to Egil, the strongest Mechon ever constructed. Yes, this lone Nopon riding a pterodactyl is more dangerous than the most powerful Mechon ever.
• Some of the Mad Libs Dialogue that occurs when accepting quests can lead to unintentional hilarity.
  Nopon Researcher: Urgh...My tummy so empty. It so cold I gonna turn into ice. I wanna eat something warm.
  Melia: (in a thought bubble) I assume from their expression that this matter bothers them.

Future Connected

• Melia's frustrated Aside Glance and snarky comment at Shulk after seeing Teelan run off before they could stop him followed by Kino and Nene chiming in.
  Melia: What is it about science boffins always doing whatever they please?
  Shulk: Huh? Uh..
  Kino: He get told.
  Nene: He probably have it coming. (after shutting up Kino earlier for saying the same thing to Teelan because it was rude)
• Melia asks Nene how to get closer to her sister that isn't blood related and Nene, being an innocent child and not realizing the implications, suggests playing, sharing yummy snacks, and sleeping together in the same bed.
  Melia: [Suppressing a laugh] I'm not sure I can do that with Tyrea. It seems like a lot.
  • Later in the same scene, Melia gets extremely flustered as Nene tries to push her to go call Tyrea her sisterpon and to play right then and there.
    Nene: Ok, then now Miss Melia go and say, hey Sisterpon, come play!
    Melia: *Gasps* R-right now?! I need some time to compose myself!
• A Nopon demanding Melia repay Riki's debt with sweets, then eating a dessert twice the size of an Armu. The only person who doesn't see this as strange and physically impossible are the Nopon and the scatterbrained Homs chef, Thad, who then decides that making the same thing for Tyrea would be his best chance to woo her... emphasis on 'best'.
  • The way this quest starts is funny too. At first the party is confused by the Nopon calling Melia the Heropon's guarantor, before the Nopon demands dessert as payment and Melia just seems to accept that this is Riki they're talking about.
  • Thad's (the Homs chef who lived in Alcamoth) quest right before this is just as funny, as its clear from everything we know about Tyrea that his crush is likely hopeless, and that Tyrea can be a tad violent when angered. The quest complete screen even mentions that the party can only pray for his safety when he confesses to her. We never find out how she reacts, Thad remaining optimistic and cheerful in subsequent conversations. His reasoning as to why he and Tyrea could make a good couple is rather sweet as much as it is funny. He's aware that she's very different from him, but he admires her greatly and thinks his softness could complement her well.
• After Teelan's laboratory is destroyed and Melia is injured trying to recover some of the research, she's brought back to Gran Dell and Kino heals her the same way Sharla did in the base game. After she's recovered, Kino tries to fire a tranquilizer round in her face so she can rest, only for Nene to whack him so hard that he bounces around Gran Dell like a pinball for being too excessive with the treatments.
  • Pausing at the right time allows you to see the others' expressions of shock, which includes Shulk, Melia, and Tyrea. It's likely Teelan had the same expression, but he's behind Nene when it happens.
• Melia's first Quiet Moment with Nene is mostly her subtly complaining about a certain friend of hers being awful at girl talk due to being a glutton who is always thinking about food (she's referring to Fiora). Then Melia realizes Nene was only going along with the conversation because she thought the discussion about flowers was about food too.
  Melia: Before, when I spoke of them to a Homs friend, she said flowers are nice, but nothing beats a warm dinner. I got no understanding from her... Finally, fate sent someone I can communicate with.
• Kino's adorable response to Shulk's infamous line:
  Kino: Kino feeling it too!
• Nene telling Shulk that she plans to give the world a vicious spanking just like her mother gives her if Melia's peacemaking attempts are rejected, and she makes sure to remind Shulk that if that happens she'll spank him too.
• One unnamed NPC hand plowing a wheat field in Gran Dell is a High Entia who is comically hammy, overexcited, and joyous about his newfound life as a farmer. A few steps away from him is a Machina who is also plowing the field, out of breath and completely fed up with it wishing he could go back to the Hidden Village to make an automatic plowing machine. The Machina does eventually change his tone near the end of the game, but somehow the machine is still far more tired than the ever energetic High Entia man.
• Maxis' rather appropriately stunned response to witnessing just how powerful Melia is, that she is clearly no ordinary High Entia;
  Maxis: What the hell are you?
• Melia and Tyrea having a heated argument only to be defused by Nene, whose insistence that they hug and make up like sisters makes Tyrea explode (and be rather racist) towards Nene. Melia thinks its Actually Pretty Funny. After Tyrea pledges her life to Melia, Nene makes her angry again when she interprets it as an apology, because Riki gets on his hands and knees to apologize to Oka for pissing her off all the time. Tyrea's response to this:
  Tyrea: I'm too old for this. [Flies away]
  • Nene also acts like her and Kino's spankings from Oka for not getting along are like old battle scars, while assuming that Melia and Tyrea's mothers would have spanked them for not getting along in the same way, with the hilarious irony of Nene not knowing that Yumea tried to have Tyrea kill Melia. Again, Melia finds this amusing while Tyrea is livid.
• The Romancing the Widow love triangle in Gran Dell towards Winnie can be worth a few laughs with how oblivious all three parties are to not only each other's feelings but their own.
• This bit of post-battle dialogue proving that indeed, mastering the Monado WAS easier than understanding the fairer sex for Shulk.
  Shulk: That's because you're both sturdily built.
  Melia and Nene: HUH?!
  Shulk: Huh? What's with the cold stares?
  (Beat)
  Shulk: Wait? Is there an enemy behind me?!
• Absolutely everything out of the Chuunibyou Ponspector's mouth, especially when contrasted with their more straightforward thought bubbles.
• During battle, one of the new Union Strikes involves the Ponspectors tricking a gogol who looks suspiciously like our old pal Territorial Rotbart into beating your enemies up for you and inflicting Daze on them. Sure is nice when it's the other guys getting jumped by a level 80 gorilla for a change, huh?
  • The Union Strikes as a whole are both hilarious and awesome as they are Beware the Silly Ones in action as the Ponspectors dish out a boat load of damage or provide buffs/debuffs to the party/enemies respectively utilizing very cartoonish mechanics.
• Tyrea teasing Melia about her coronation knowing Melia hates formalities.
  Tyrea: It is the will of the people. Empress Melia.
  Melia: [Mildly offended] Don't mock me.
• Some funny events with cameos from the main game during the ending pictures:
  • Fiora being enraged that Shulk took off without her, turning her back to him while Reyn tries to calm her down. All while Shulk waves happily at her like a moron while Dunban and Sharla ignore her.
  • Juju, Teelan, Kino, and Nene operating a crane that Shulk is directly standing under while Riki watches with his wings up in horror.
  • The strange sight of Fiora, Sharla, and Vanea (even carrying a wooden hoe and a bucket) getting extremely pumped up for gardening. In the same shot, Dunban is hyper focused on pulling a weed with his one good arm.

Meta

• New Game Plus keeps all your equipment from the last run, even in cutscenes. This can make some early-game cutscenes rather odd, with Dunban, Dickson, and Mumkhar talking about some random sword as if it were the Monado, Shulk relaxing in a valley while wearing titanic metal armor, or the aforementioned Riki introduction. Depending on what armor she was wearing, Fiora also might not quite fit right into Face Nemesis.
  • Also, Shulk lamenting how little he knows about the Monado with the Monado III on his back.
  • Mumkhar appears in the opening cutscene as a mechon several hours before he even becomes Metal Face or a faced mechon in the first place. Dickson is also fighting the Mechon in normal, casual clothing and the Monado's energy blade is coming out of Dunban's normal sword.
  • And then comes the entire clusterfuck of a cutscene that is when Shulk takes up the Monado for the first time. It must be seen to be believed.
  • Any scene involving a Faced Mechon before obtaining Monado II is pretty hilarious. The party is panicking about how the Monado can't hurt the Faced Mechon when Shulk could destroy them in a second. This also makes some of the sacrifices needed to defeat Xord and Metal Face, as well as Alvis' Big Damn Heroes moment, horrifically unnecessary.
  • And when Shulk does obtain the Monado II, if you're wielding the Monado III, the cutscene downgrades Shulk's weapon to the Monado II for no apparent reason.
  • Most of the cast have trouble fighting Mechon without Monado Enchant when by New Game+ they more than likely have anti-Mechon gear of some kind.
  • In Definitive Edition, Shulk's weapon appearance can be modified in New Game Plus. This can result in a rusty sword being the subject of Mumkhar's envy.
• The Streetpass Puzzle Swap picture depicting this game shows three Nopon in front of the Monado. You may just assume the animated picture's just depicting two random Nopon playing with each other... until the third Nopon lying by them gets up. Then you realize that the third Nopon happens to be Riki himself.
• The game uses voice actors from Britain that aren't often seen doing voice work for video games, rather appearing in local TV shows. This leads to a few things that are funny to think about and you probably wouldn't find in other games. If you take the opportunity to look into the actor's previous roles, you'll find:
  • Riki is voiced by Wayne Forester. Who did he voice in the past? Dad in Horrid Henry. It's funny to think that a hairy pineapple on sugar with a Falsetto voice shares his actor with a serious dad with a rather deep voice. Now imagine scenes from the show, but with all Dad's lines spoken with Riki's voice and Nopon dialect. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Wayne Forester also voiced the Big Bad Jacob Crow in Timesplitters: Future Perfect. Now imagine a Nopon as a Mad Scientist seeking immortality (whose goal isn't really that much different from Zanza).
  • Miqol is voiced by Richard Ridings, best known as none other than Daddy Pig. Now imagine Daddy Pig asking you to kill his son...
• The fact that this game series is forever associated with British voice acting, all because Nintendo of Europe were the ones to give the game a chance. Even when the February 2022 Nintendo Direct was showing the announcement trailer for the 3rd game, people immediately realized it was a Xenoblade game BECAUSE of the British voices.

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