Funny / Wambu

• Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion Specimens Ranked
  • Intro
    • The first line of the video
    Wambu: It's me, the psychological manifestation of countdown creator Wambu, projected from your own internal demons. (Beat as the music gets louder and louder before cutting out) Hewwo!
    • The last of the qualifications Wambu uses to ranked the specimens.
    Wambu: Do they have a nice place for chill hangs where I can sit down and eat one twizzler?
  • Goop
    • Describing the first encounter with the monster:
    Wambu: ...but someone left a big-ol' puddle of High-C Echo-Cooler on the floor, and I guess they didn't have a mop, or paper towels, or a dog.
    • Innards, ingest, inchoking-- My language is fucking... broking.
  • Siren
    • "...Cause Lord knows I have so much experience building a 1000 room mansion with a bunch of creatures designed to kill."
    • Discussing the Siren's tendency to eat whales from the inside.
    Wambu: Look, I wasn't super fond of Jabu Jabu's belly either, (Cut to the Siren using a chainsaw on the walls of the aforementioned location.) but that's just fucking excessive, bruh.
    • "Does the name Kaernk ring any bells? (Beat, Wambu gets annoyed) Does the name Water Monster ring any bells— (Bell sound effects start playing) of course".
    • "You thought you were gonna smooch a pretty mermaid, but gotcha, her teeth are actually piano keys!" (Kaede plays the lick on the Siren's teeth)
    • Every Siren picture on Google has nipples, I'm gonna sh!t
  • Subject 5
    • Wambu's opinion on the original version's 2D chasers.
    Wambu: Some people find the 2D images scarier. I'm not even gonna pretend to understand why. It makes me feel like I'm being chased by concept art.
    Wambu: (As an impression of a 2D chaser) You might think you're safe now, but just wait! Soon the rest of my body will align with the z-axis and then you'll be fucked!
  • Ringu
    • Wambu's struggles with reading the notes in a Blackout Basement level.
    • Describing her kill method.
    Wambu: There's this cool bit of animation where she opens her jaw more the closer she gets to you, which is fitting considering her method of killing IS FUCKING VOR-- is consumption. She eats you.
    • Transitioning to the next entry:
    Wambu: So no hate, my ass got ate, for a while it was great, hopefully you can relate, and now we move on to number NINE!
  • Food Demon
    • Wambu's twist on a classic SpongeBob SquarePants joke.
    Wambu: Do you think I'm gonna order:
    A: A sofa
    B: An expensive haircut
    or C: A DEMON! AN ACTUAL FUCKING DEMON!!! AHHHH!!!!!
    Wambu: I'd like one sofa, please. (Food Demon appears) Ah, never mind, service here fucking sucks.
    • If any of you make a joke about [9/11], I'm gonna fucking delete your comment.
  • Cardboard Cutouts
    • If things get... really quiet... and all of a sudden, there's a thing, with a noise (A clip from this video starts playing)
  • Ben The Merchant
    • Discussing the reference:
    Wambu: Those horror stories that get posted on the internet. A scary spaghetti.
    A picture of a plate of spaghetti decorated to look like a monsters face appears with Ben as a chef wearing an apron that reads "I'll feed all you fuckers" next to it.
    • Wambu describes Ben as the first specimen to "throw a wrench into the works", demonstrated by Ben throwing a wrench at the mansion and causing it to explode.
    • "Cause this guy isn't just a man, he's a Peanut."
    • Continuing the joke, the nutritional facts for an SCP-173 brand of peanut butter.
    173 calories!
    Not recommended for people with necks!
    • "I guess [Ben selling popular dolls and trinkets] flexed super hard on all the other business owners, so they threw his puppets in the river, causing Ben to jump in and never resurface." (Specimen 13 and her chainsaw pop up)
    • Tempting Fate
    Wambu: But let's be real, how was he ever gonna fool me, a guy who gets distracted by absolutely everything?
    Wambu talking over gameplay: Yo dawg, heard you drowned, never lucky bro, sucks to suck. Oh, god, is that completely unremarkable door?!
    Wambu: (After predictably getting caught) Yeah, this feels like karma.
  • The Taker
    • To emphasize how much of a spoiler this guy is (since he's the Final Boss), Wambu pulls out a stop sign... only for his flames to set it on fire. The next time we see him, he's using the burning sign to roast a pizza.
    • (Slurp) Nice.
    • "That's right, I'll joke about the numbering this time, sex number is funny." (as we see two Specimen 9s in a jar, one upside down)
    • Wambu shares a theory he had while playing the game that the cardboard cutouts would be the True Final Boss.
    • During the whole segment, the Taker just messing around whenever Wambu's on screen, drinking from a coffee-shaped Specimen 1, reading a Nickelodeon magazine, playing Jenga with a copy of himself (with the same Visual Pun as before), and telling Wambu about Unit 731.
  • Paranormal Structure
    • Wambu's trying to figure out hiding.
    Wambu: Run and h... Hit it with your axe!
    • "Number 13: Smelly old man"
    • The donut analogy
    • "I can smell you. (Beat) I'm so lonely."
    • While discussing how the location is only pretending to be a mansion:
    Wambu: I bet those aren't even real Pepsi bottles... (Overlayed with a picture of a sepia-toned Pepsiman with the quote "Drink Bepis")
  • Bab
    • Bab
    • "That's right, even when I'm talking about a different game, Silent Hill 2 still gets on the list!"
    • "It was either gonna be all love, or me screaming angrily for two minutes while I pounded it into the dirt. I thankfully ended up in the camp where I didn't do that.
  • Deer Lord
    • Poking fun at the monster's extremely slow speed.
    Deer Lord: Why do you run, child?
    Wambu: (...)Gee, I fucking wonder.
    Wambu, pretending to be the Deer Lord: I'm going to feed you to my children, little one... wait, where are you going? Do you not want to be eaten by deer?
    • "Whose submission is inevitable now?" "Yours." "Eh, fair enough"
  • Parasite
    • The fakeout opening for the old version of specimen 10.
    • The various ways The Thing is interpreted, including a dog with a goofy face... whose head gets put onto the "Thing" the specimen is based on.
    • Tiny Wambu riding the specimen's leech form.
    "That's right it becomes TINY!"
  • Wall Of Flesh
    • "Please insert your own confused onomatopoeia."
    • "My eyes wander to the point where they're not even on my face half the time"