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Funny: Veronica Mars
  • "A PONY?!?"
  • How about Keith's poster: "She's 18, it's legal - Re-elect Don Lamb"? And the fact that he had them prepared ''ahead of time''?
    • Earlier in that episode, when Keith goes to Cliff's hotel room (his note to Veronica: "Gone on puzzling errand"), only to find Cliff handcuffed to the bed.
    Keith: So, can I ask you a question?
    Cliff: She said her name was Daphne.
    Keith: Oh, no no. How did you call me?
    Cliff: Acrobatically. I might have pulled a hamstring.
  • Also, a particular stoner would like to inform you that he'd make a great bait! In fact, he'd be a "master bait"!
  • "They're probably up there making love. Or playing Dungeons & Dragons. Or both. At the same time."
  • "She's a hooker!"
  • This little gem.
  • Before the intro, Veronica in season one: "Yeah, we used to be friends. A long time ago." Cue: A LONG TIME AGO...WE USED TO BE FRIENDS.
  • "Annoy tiny blonde one! Annoy like the WIND!"
  • Dick in the first episode of season two:
    Dick (blurts out across the bus): Miss Dumbass!
    Miss Dumas: It's Du-mas...
  • Veronica goes to Sheriff Lamb accusing Thumper of murder.
    Lamb: But he's got such a cute nickname!
  • From "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough:"
    Dick: Am I drunk?
    Logan: No, dude, you're just special.
  • Veronica's EPIC BURN of Kendall Casablancas in "Look Who's Stalking".
    Kendall: Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.
    Veronica: Like, trouble? With a capital T, which rhymes with C, which stands for
    Keith: Veronica!
    Veronica: I was gonna say cute.
  • Logan gets a stab at Kendall too.
    Kendall: Doesn't this mean anything to you?
    Logan: It does. It means I'm getting laid. And I owe your village a goat.
  • Logan introducing Kendall to Trina:
    Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
  • In "The Girl Next Door", Veronica is trying to track down her missing neighbor Sarah, and she thinks Sarah's friend Adam, who manages a clothing store, knows something. When he refuses to talk, Veronica calls Weevil, and he and the rest of the PC Hers come to the store, generally making a mess of things. Then Veronica walks back in:
    Veronica: Guys! Remember, no white after Labor Day!
    PC Hers: (in mock disappointment) Aw!
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