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Funny: Veronica Mars
  • "A PONY?!?"
  • How about Keith's poster: "She's 18, it's legal - Re-elect Don Lamb"? And the fact that he had them prepared ahead of time?
    • Earlier in that episode, when Keith goes to Cliff's hotel room (his note to Veronica: "Gone on puzzling errand"), only to find Cliff handcuffed to the bed.
    Keith: So, can I ask you a question?
    Cliff: She said her name was Daphne.
    Keith: Oh, no no. How did you call me?
    Cliff: Acrobatically. I might have pulled a hamstring.
  • Also, a particular stoner would like to inform you that he'd make a great bait! In fact, he'd be a "master bait"!
  • "They're probably up there making love. Or playing Dungeons & Dragons. Or both. At the same time."
  • "She's a hooker!"
  • This little gem.
  • Before the intro, Veronica in season one: "Yeah, we used to be friends. A long time ago." Cue: A LONG TIME AGO...WE USED TO BE FRIENDS.
  • "Annoy tiny blonde one! Annoy like the WIND!"
  • Dick in the first episode of season two:
    Dick (blurts out across the bus): Miss Dumbass!
    Miss Dumas: It's Du-mas...
  • Veronica goes to Sheriff Lamb accusing Thumper of murder.
    Lamb: But he's got such a cute nickname!
  • From "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough:"
    Dick: Am I drunk?
    Logan: No, dude, you're just special.
    • Jackie from the same episode:
    "Lurking? You mean standing while black?"
  • Veronica's EPIC BURN of Kendall Casablancas in "Look Who's Stalking".
    Kendall: Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.
    Veronica: Like, trouble? With a capital T, which rhymes with C, which stands for
    Keith: Veronica!
    Veronica: I was gonna say cute.
  • Logan gets a stab at Kendall too.
    Kendall: Doesn't this mean anything to you?
    Logan: It does. It means I'm getting laid. And I owe your village a goat.
  • Logan introducing Kendall to Trina:
    Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
    • For Buffy fans in the audience, it was added funny AND awesome, because Willow finally got the best of Cordelia.
  • In "The Girl Next Door", Veronica is trying to track down her missing neighbor Sarah, and she thinks Sarah's friend Adam, who manages a clothing store, knows something. When he refuses to talk, Veronica calls Weevil, and he and the rest of the PCHers come to the store, generally making a mess of things. Then Veronica walks back in:
    Veronica: Guys! Remember, no white after Labor Day!
    PCHers: (in mock disappointment) Aw!
  • Weevil finds Veronica in front of the trophy case. This isn't Getting Crap Past the Radar, this is "someone's dead at the switchboard."
    Weevil: If you're lookin' for my trophy, it's back by auto shop.
    Veronica: Lube job? Or...can you medal in stealing hubcaps?
    Weevil: Is this 1970? Rims, baby.
    Veronica: So you got a trophy for a rim job?
    Weevil: Forget it. Look, I got some information for you.
    Veronica: Finally, a Deep Throat to call my own.
  • "Say 'repressed homosexuality!'"
  • The Soundtrack Dissonance of Aaron beating up Trina's boyfriend to Dean Martin's "That's Amore."
  • Logan's smartass comments to Veronica when he's trying to get Veronica to help clear him of Felix's murder.
    "Pretend for a moment that your dog's life is at stake."
  • Keith wants to test whether the deputies are actually checking IDs at bars, so he sends Piz and Wallace in with fake IDs with pictures of Jon Bon Jovi and Biggie Smalls.
    "You know we don't all look alike, Mr. Mars?
  • Veronica trying to break into Keith's safe after he changed the combination, and lamenting that Keith is smart enough that there's no way to figure out the code (not a meaningful number, not written down anywhere). When she finally finds the code, hidden in the day planner, she excitedly opens up the safe and gets hit by an ink bomb. Made even funnier by Keith's enthusiasm at her falling for it.
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