Funny / TheOdd1sOut

Peeing Yourself

• The intro: "Did you come here to listen to me talk about juvenile topics and tell bad puns? Well, URINE luck! What?! You didn't? Aww, that really PISSES me off. You all read the title! You know what this video's gonna be about!"
• James said that he had a Potty Emergency while playing Pokémon GO and says, "Pikachu? More like piss-a-eh, never mind."
• "My first grade teacher was just a humongous bit---just a humongous person. Literally, she was pregnant."
  • Followed up by, "What a female dog! Not just that but a pregnant female dog!"
• The words "shut up and learn!" are on the blackboard.
• James thinks that the teacher telling him not to help his twin sister climb the stairs who was in a wheelchair should have been his first clue that, nope, adults don't know everything, and that the teacher's kid might be watching and not know how stupid their mom is.
  • "That's why I'm never getting pregnant."
• James wet his pants because he didn't know you could use the bathroom at recess and he claimed that he "was drinking water and the water rolled down [his] face and all congregated in [his] groin region!".
• James on bed wetting pants: "Your life hits a low point when you have to wear diapers for a second time.".
• When James said the title someone is seen in the background shouting, "James is running out of ideas!"

My Teachers

• When James's art teacher says, "We go for realism", she briefly turns live-action.
• On French:
  • The reason why he's no good at French is because his teacher only spoke French for all her teaching days save the first.
  • James counting to nine in French: ooo, doo, twa, cart, sank, seis, sept, weet, nerf. "Cart", "Sank", "Weet", and "Nerf" are accompanied by Visual Puns of a cart, a sink, some wheat, and a nerf gun, respectively.
  • James says "door" in French is "portal" and again, a Visual Pun with a door that has a Portal Gun portal on it.^note Which, for the record, is reasonably accurate: "Portal" used to mean "door" in both languages but over time its meaning changed in English but stayed the same in French.
• James remembers that he had a math teacher in community college who was an "old grandpa" and on the first day, he told the class that he never missed a day in 20 years, so when he did miss the next day, the students thought he'd died.
• The history teacher is illustrated saying, "Civil war jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny." He is also drawn the same way as the other teachers, but only as a joke.
• One of the teachers said that nobody can be funny in the essay because graders have No Sense of Humour... except James.

Tales of Donating Blood

• James says that if he was roommates with Dracula and Dracula offered food in exchange for James's blood every Friday, he would accept.
• James remembers a girl in his class saying that she had "O neg" blood and wonders if she was too lazy to say "—ative".

Academy Anecdotes (School Stories)

• The beginning parodies Everybody Hates Mathematics by showing two brothers named Frederick and Braxton having a conversation. Frederick is studying for a math test but Braxton is not.
  Braxton: "Well, you see, Frederick, due to my high levels of apathy, and the stress of knowing that I'll never be good at math, I've decided to completely give up on even trying to do good on the test."
  • Followed up by a math joke, which is "How many essays do you write for math class? eiPi+1 (zero)".
  • Someone replies a to a math joke with "I HATE MAT!" and James jokes that maybe what the guy really hates is spelling.
• James points out that some things you learn in school don't apply to the "real world", but they're still good anyway, especially because you can say that you can do them.
• James talks about how being able to pee standing up is amazing, then he goes on to say that he and all of his male classmates were very skilled at peeing (except for a few of them when they were asleep).
  • He even calls peeing standing up a superpower at one point.
• The Running Gag of James saying that he won't say the person's race/nationality, then saying it anyway.
• James and his classmate got detention, which the teachers called C.A.R.E. James is pretty sure it's an acronym, because if it wasn't, it'd be a weird name for detention.
  • He then adds that because it wasn't called detention and it was the only time he got detention, he has a "clean record".
• One "anecdote" involves James sneezing loudly in class, then somebody points out a boy with a bloody nose and James thinks it's him, but it turns out not to be.

Movies I Thought Were Weird

• James pretends to be the director of Charlotte's Web and one of the imaginary writers believes that it ended with a cliffhanger and nobody knows what happened to the spider (because apparently he never watched it).
  James: "The spider DIED, Ethan!"
• James reckons that Yu-Gi-Oh! and gaming channels are popular because people who suck at games must like watching other people play games.
• James deciding that people should take his opinions with a grain of salt because he thought the Star Wars prequels were good.
  • As he's saying this he does a perfect impression of Jar Jar Binks, complete with turning into him in the video.
• As a kid, James thought that the idea of ninja turtles was weird because turtles are slow and clumsy and that the ninja turtles needed "normal" names.
• James thinks he was a "sexist baby" because, as a kid, he thought that The Powerpuff Girls was for girls only.
• James used to think that the Kratt brothers were named the Crap brothers.
• "I know those Disney sequels were just an easy way for Hollywood to make money, but think about how much more money they could've made if they just made good sequels."

My Horibal Speling

• The beginning has James spelling "Wednesday" as "Wenzda" with a stressed "a".
• One of James's spelling words is "covfefe" (a nonsense word that Donald Trump is famous for tweeting).
• In the spelling test, James's classmates have to spell "Antidisestablishmentarianism" and he has to spell "cat". Which then leads to James being frustrated over not being sure how to spell it.
• He said he was the first one out, then notes it's almost his username.
• James's speech therapist, who he calls Mrs Kool-Aid, gave him a piece of paper with a bunch of raindrops on it and James has to say, "raindrop" for each raindrop to cure his Elmuh Fudd Syndwome. She leaves and he doesn't say any, but when she asks him about it, he tells the truth.
  Mrs. Kool Aid: "You stupid child."
  • He then states about how he's still angry about telling the truth to this day.
    James (in his Elmer Fudd Syndrome voice): That hurt my feelings.
• When James learnt to read, he read about how bees don't sting the wasp but rather they use their wings to heat the wasp to death. When asked how bees defend their hive from wasps, the other kids said, "They sting them", but James said, "No, you mowons! Didn't you wead this?!".
  James: "The words in this paper have meaning when placed in a certain order to convey information. Also, I never want to get hugged by a bee."
• In the end, James says that he didn't win the pizza, but it's OK. It then shows a live-action James surrounded by pizza boxes saying, "Someday, you'll be an adult and have all the pizza you want."

Growing Up Without Cable

• The rendition of the Dragon Tales theme song done once the show is brought up.
  • Pointing out that a character in Dragon Tales was in a wheelchair, later going off on a tangent saying that the easiest way to keep a dragon in a wheelchair from destroying anything is to not install wheelchair ramps anywhere.
• James explaining that in an average episode of Caillou, he's never reprimanded for his actions by his parents no matter what, which is unrealistic compared to what his mom would do (put him in time out), mainly because their version of Doris talks in a funny impression of a lady's voice.
  • Wanting a cross-over between Clifford the Big Red Dog and Clifford's Puppy Days, leading to this gem:
    At least I have fanfiction
    • He then proceeds to read a...very suggestive Clifford fanfiction, before getting uncomfortable and stopping.
  • The main reason he wants a crossover, according to him.
    James: So then his old friends can be like Whoa! What the fuck happened to you?!
• Clifford got so big because his owner, Emily Elizabeth, loved him so much. Therefore if you own a small or regular sized dog, you obviously don't love it enough, and it doesn't love you. Gets a callback later with James describing Clifford's Puppy Days as being set "before Emily Elizabeth loved [Clifford]", which is illustrated with a young Emily refusing to play with Clifford as a puppy.
• James explaining the plot of CyberChase.

  So now these three kids have to go on adventures using math principals to thwart the bad guys to save Mommyboard...

  • He then realizes that he said Motherboard wrong, but then just has some fun with it. The quiet mocking tone of his voice as he does this makes this doubly hilarious.

  (pretending to be the kids) Mom! Come back!! Mommy, NOOO!!

  We need to save Mommyboard!! AAAAAAAA!!!

My Thoughts on ASMR

• James points out that he was eighteen when he made his first video, which was legally old enough to... he then looks on a list of things you can do at eighteen and says, "Get married."
• When James wonders if he's drinking too much water, a photo is seen of a man in a business suit chugging from a water cooler.
• James found ASMR while searching for how to stop lip smacking, so he says that "apparently, there's a lot higher demand for people who smack their lips than people who don't."
• One of the previous names for ASMR was "attention-induced head orgasm", but people rejected that because it was too sexual... however, "meridian" (what the 'M' stands for) started off as a euphemism for orgasm. James then adds that ASMR is not generally sexual except for a category called ASMR-otica, which cracks him up.
• The Wikipedia page calls ASMR performers "actors".
  James: "Yeah, I don't think we can really use the word 'actor', Wikipedia."

The Spiders and the Bees

• The video opens on an anthropomorphic spider named Matthew (voiced by MatPat) asking his mother why humans hate spiders.
• James says that it's fine to hate spiders if they crawl up your leg in the shower "like a frickin' pervert."
• James says that getting bit by a spider is fine (unless you live in Australia) and if you're lucky, you might get superpowers.
• His character proceeds to grab a Hyperventilation Bag after showing the viewers a live-action clip of some bees attacking a man in order to justify how bees can be terrifying.
• When James says that a spider can eat 2,000 insects a year, a spider is seen at a Fancy Dinner with a gravestone reading "RIP 2000x [picture of insect]".

The Movie That Was Too Scary For Baby James

• James mimicking the Chamberlain's whine, with his character's eyes sliding off his face.
• James explaining two of the species in the film, that are both dying races.
  James: I'm no biologist but I think they're probably dying 'cause there's no women. That would wipe out a species pretty quick.
  • Later he refers back to this, when going on about how nobody actually explains why fixing the crystal would save the world.
  James: They could at least try to make something up, like "once the crystal is fixed, women will appear."
• The skeksis getting an eye exam. It Makes Sense in Context.
• "Somewhere, on Earth, there exists a baby, naked, Jen puppet. And I need to have it."
• The fact that a mere two weeks after this video was posted, Netflix announced the television series The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance. James even says in "The Netflix Series That Was Also Scary For Adult James" that ever since then, he's been getting a message at least once a day, asking him if he's heard about it.

Subway stories

• James tells a story about this one guy who wants onions on the side... and tells James hes' doing it wrong. James thinks maybe he wants it on half the sandwich, only for the guy to tell him "No, on the side." When he says "...on the side of what?" the customer screams "ONIONS!"

Adventures in Cub Scouts

• James explaining the mascots for the four ranks of cub scouts: a tiger for first grade, a wolf for second grade, a bear for third grade and finally, for the fourth grade...
  James: What animal is cooler than all three of those? I'll tell you. (beat) Nothing. And that was the mascot. There was no mascot.
• The name given to the fourth graders was 'Webelos,' which is supposed to stand for 'We be loyal scouts.'
  James: What kind of animal is that?!
• James's cartoon face when he begins his master revenge plan. It has dark circles due to James and TJ spending a whole (and implied to be sleepless) night in an axe-bombed tent.
  James: Was I tired? Maybe. But that's the sacrifice you have to make for vengeance.
• The picture of James dragging TJ down into the pit of bad ideas.

A Book I Made as a Kid

• James says that he's sure his classmates wrote about "normal" things, like their dogs or their friends, but he wrote a story titled I Do Not Like This Family. He wonders if the title made his teacher think he was abused, and clarifies that he wasn't abused— he just hated doing chores.
• The dialogue in the book is stilted, because the teacher banned the class from using the word "said". Sometimes, characters even "reply" when they're not replying to anything. James later subverts it for drama by having James say something, with "SAID" in capitals, as he's passing out.
• James describes the kids in the book as "talking like robots", and briefly draws Wesley as a robot.
• In the book, James's mother has to be on TV at midnight so the Rallisons have to clean the house. James notes that in the book, he never specified why his mother had to be on TV, but suspects that it could be for illegal reasons since she's making the family clean instead of going to a party.
• The book version of James runs away like Wesley suggests, but doesn't run to the birthday party— he just runs away at nighttime.
• Book-James claims he should be able to ride the bus on his own, since he's eleven. James points out that he was nine when he wrote it, and must have thought that being eleven meant you were big and tough. He illustrates this with a boy in a superhero costume with "11" on the front.
• The dad in the book somehow diagnoses James with kidney failure just by putting his hand on his face and James affirming that it hurts.
• James in the book, says, "What iiiiiiiiissssssss zzz", and the real James counts nine "I"s, eight "S"s, a space, and three "Z"s.
• The dad's declaration of "Kidney failure!" is followed up by four frowny-face emoticons in brackets.
• James wonders how his nine-year-old self knew what kidney failure was, illustrated with a brain wearing a "9" medal talking to a kidney with an F grade.
• With the line "His brother (the one who beat him up) liked him", a picture is drawn of a Facebook post marked "James— Brother likes this".

My Girlfriend, My Best Friend and the Barfy Beach Date

• James begins by telling the audience that they shouldn't ship real people with one another and that they have their own lives. Cue James being all emotional for little reason.
• James' girlfriends face being the "Media Offline" screen. It goes to show how much he cares for his privacy.
• Floof in autotune. Enough said.

Stupid Things My Sister Believed as a Kid

• James was initially going to title the video "Stupid Things I Believed as a Kid", but the only thing he could think of was how he grew to dislike bananas from believing they'd turn him into a monkey. Faith, on the other hand, had many things she thought as a kid.
• James and Faith's older sister tricked Faith into believing that the computer could talk to them.
• One day, James and Faith's dad said quickly, "C'mon, kids, it's buy-one-get-one-free!". The kids thought that Buyonegetonefree was one word, and a place. In the car, Luke scares Faith by claiming there are walking skeletons.
• The Running Gag of Faith giving James a Death Glare from the corner, prompting him to remind the audience that she doesn't believe the stupid things anymore.

The First Comic I Ever Made

• The video begins with a stereotypical "man in black" type guy who tells James he's found the comic.
• James isn't too sure how old he was when he made the comic. He initially thinks he was nine, and one joke seems like it could have been inspired by The Incredibles which came out when he was eight, but the level of drawing skill seems more like his drawing skills at age six, and it's so bad he wants to say he was six months old.
• James describes the cake in the comic as "physically-impossible looking", and in the same panel, Jon is thinking, "Happy birthday" instead of saying it.
• "Fire" is misspelled as "fier". James thinks that's how it should be spelt, and that "fire" pronounced phonetically would be "fye-ree".
• To prevent any dirty jokes about the fire hose looking phallic, James says, "I was six, you perverts!".
• Both comics had graphics, as though they were Sunday ones, but the second one doesn't seem as "excited" because it has a lowercase "g".
• James saying, "tooth" as "teth" because that's what little James wrote.
• James being embarrassed because, despite being in honour classes, he still wrote, "They say you should use ta pee big toth past".
• James on the end of the comic:
  James: "There's two?! And one's green?! *confused babbling*"
• In the outro, James says that he was bashing the name Hunter, but one of his patrons was actually called that. He then gives him a shoutout, plus a voice saying, "shoutout to [indecipherable]" saying that it's for everyone who wants a shoutout.

Garfild Comic Explained

• "$3 is still on the table" is illustrated with three notes on a literal table.
• One commenter claims that the Garfield James drew is an Original Character named Garfild due to the misspelling.
• Due to James's comic on the graphic being less "excited" in the second comic, the redrawing of it has a serious face and the words "Not as excited".
• James has one read by a computer due to how it was written.
• One of the redrawn comics has Garfield mistaking a crack pipe for a toothbrush. James says that his toothbrush drawing actually does look like a crack brush.
• One redrawing of the comic involves Garfield with the power to control a green slime.

My Mom's Cruel and Unusual Punishments

• The video begins with a younger James in court... for colouring instead of tidying his room. He says, "I plead the fifth" with a childish speech impediment.
• Past James's friends talk about stuff their moms let them do that James's mom doesn't let him do. They start with minor things like wearing clothes with skulls, but end with playing with knives.
• One punishment was eating James's or Faith's M&M's when they misbehaved, which James thinks is why they're his favourite candy. He is then illustrated eating M&M's, crying, and repeating, "I'm a good boy!".
• Kind of sad, but there's a funny side to it— when James's mother was washing her hands, she'd sometimes flick water in his face and pretend to sneeze. Unfortunately, he doesn't tell her that he hates this, and when he finally can't take it anymore and cries, all he can say is:
  James: "Oh, you were flicking water in my face and achoo!" (Inelegant Blubbering)
• When one sibling insulted another, their mother would make them pay, leading to the kids being excited when one of their siblings insulted them. James once calls Faith an idiot and has to pay, but Faith feels guilty because he didn't mean it, so she tries to insult him back but can only come up with "You're an unpleasant person".
• James says that swear words cost $5, which is why he doesn't swear in the videos, but now he can afford it. He then breaks into a Cluster Bleep-Bomb.

Tabletop Games

• The opening. Just....the opening.
  James: I HATE YOOUU!!!
  Arianna: Oh, yeah?! Well, next time, don't steal my Monopoly!!
  Mom: Arianna, give James your two hundred dollars. You landed on his property.
  Arianna: No! He's in JAIL! I'm not gonna give money to a criminal!
  James: That's not how you PLAAAAYYY!!!!
  Sally: Mommy? Why is Brother screaming?
  Mom: SHUT THE *bleep* UP, SALLY! You don't get to talk after stealing my last railroad!
  James: I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!!!
  Mom: ME TOO! YOU THINK I WANTED THIS?!?!
  James: (screams like an angry pterodactyl)
• The relatability of this scene only adds to the hilarity.
• Also, this line:
  James: Whenever you beat a computer in a game of chess, it was going easy on you.

My Decaying Mind in Quarantine

• In the opening, James is watching a parody of Tiger King which is basically just the host bragging about what a disgusting human being he is, and some random narrator starts saying...
  Narrator: And just like that, by watching other garbage humans on his television, James felt ever so slightly at peace while the world crumbled around him. For the first time in months, James smiled.
• Later in the video, James is listing things for viewers to do in quarantine. Among other humorous things like watching parkour fails and learning to cook while yelling at himself to "stop eating SO MANY *bleep* BAGEL BITES", he then suggests watching competitive sports fishing so as to get pumped enough to work out again. And then starts screaming at the TV.
  James: Oh my gosh, how big is that fish?! Oh my gosh, it's a 1,200 pound bull shark! They need seven people to pull it on the boat and...OH MY GOSH, IS THAT BIG ED?!!
• Cue an image of Big Ed from 90 Day Fiance with a fish tail flailing on the shore like a suffocating fish with the doofiest look on his face.

I Read Fanfiction About Me

• When James describes the middle of the fan fiction as "eh", it's illustrated with a Canadian flag with "eh?" written on it.
• James and his stalker are both only twelve.
  James: "You do realise I'm almost twenty, right?!"
• The story describes James as having "white skin", as though his avatar is what the real James looks like.
• In the fan fiction, James wears Axe deodorant. The real James, however, doesn't like it.
• James's stalker in the story keeps calling him "senpai", which is basically Otaku slang for "older person who I have a crush on".
• The story switches from James and the stalker at camp, to them at school.
  James: "Like if you wanna write a semi-erotic fan fiction about stalking me, go right ahead, but at least make the story make sense!"
• The stalker claims to be driven "crazy with lust" every time James talks to a girl.
• The stalker "lurk[s] on top of the trees".
  James: "Wha?! What?! On top of the trees?!"

Reading More Fables (I Swear I'm Not a Furry)

• In the last video, James jokingly claimed to be a furry, but a lot of people thought he was serious. So a Running Gag in this video is that, whenever he makes a joke, an airhorn sounds and the word "JOKE!" flashes in red.
• Blink and you'll miss it, but on the list of responses, you can see that James has written, "Calm down" in response to a user explaining to three separate users that James was only joking... and yet James also gave one of those explanations a "like". Also, one of the comments was "Drinking game: Take a shot every time a furry asks, 'ARE YOU A FURRY?!'".
• James jokes that Aesop was a furry for writing about talking animals. He then wonders if he's "making fun of a dead person". He also calls Aesop's Fables "fanfiction", even though they weren't based off another work.
  James: "If you want to see someone who is a furry, then look no FUR-ther than 600 BC. You'd have to look very far."
• James wonders how Aesop's name was pronounced and calls him "Aesoup", "ASAP", and "Aesooubway".
• James points out that fable characters are always unnamed, so instead of Michelangelo and Raphael, it's the tortoise and the other tortoise.
• The image of the fox changing book titles into Huckleberry Finn and the Fox, The Great Fox, Gone with the Fox, and The Fox and the Hound and the Fox.
• "The Fox and the Goat" is illustrated with Swiper and a goat.
• James points out the Broken Aesop of "The Fox and the Goat", since it's meant to be "Look Before You Leap", but the fox also didn't look, and he got away with lying.
• James summarising "The Fox and the Crab"'s moral as "Be content with your lot in life. Don't move, don't travel... or a fox might eat you."
• James wondering if foxes even like grapes, then adding, "Maybe they did in 600 BC".
• James concluding that the reason no one helped him get the grapes in "The Fox and the Grapes" is because the others hated him.
• James jokes that the reason for the fox's theft of the crow's cheese and killing of the kid and crab was to make a sandwich.
• When James turns "The Frog and the Scorpion" into "The Fox and the Scorpion", James has the fox call out the scorpion.
  Scorpion: "I'm a scorpion; it's in my nature."
  Fox: "Yeah, but you're a talking scorpion. I thought you'd have enough cognitive sense to know not to do that. You even said yourself that if you stunned me, then we'd both die.

The Netflix Series That Was Also Scary for Adult James

• James fanboying over the Hunter skeksis.
• The angry Lisa Henson puppet.
• James signing the non-disclosure agreement with the Emperor and Chamberlain skeksis.
• The titles of the bad movie reviews James browses. One says, "This terrible movie made me commit arson!"

Christmas Carols

• All the days between Halloween and Christmas are written on a calendar as "Not Christmas".
• James pointing out that "Silent Night" wouldn't work if Jesus was a normal baby, since with a normal baby, labour hurts and they interrupt parents' sleep.
• James wondering why Parson Brown asks two kids if they're married.
• James parodies the controversy regarding "Baby it's Cold Outside" ^note The song is often mistaken to be about Date Rape, when actually it was conceived as the woman wanting to stay with the man but feeling like she can't. by saying that the song was problematic... because why didn't the woman just put on a coat? He later says that he doesn't want a movie about it, since that would just be two hours or so of characters not putting on jackets.
• James points out that "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth", "All I Want for Christmas is You", and "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" have similar titles, but it'd be a very strange person to put those on a Christmas list.
• The boy from "I'm Getting Nuttin' for Christmas" is illustrated with a nut on his shirt.
• When James talks about how the grandma dies in "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer", but lives in the movie, the gravestone reads, "RIP Grandma from song".

My Random Thoughts (James Edition)

• One of the random thoughts is James wondering if we lived in a robot society, and robots had to prove they weren't human online?
• One thought is that a coat of paint technically decreases the size of a room.
• James wonders if there are in-jokes that only archaeologists understand. He Googles "jokes for archaeologists", but gets one about archery instead, that he doesn't even find that funny. He then goes on to say that the joke about Julius Caesar keeping his "armies up his sleevies" doesn't make sense since Julius Caesar wore a toga.
• In the scene of James forgetting what "a quarter to" means, he initially thinks a quarter is 25, since that's what it is in money terms. Upon getting -13, he realises that he's meant to be using "time numbers".
• James pointing out the ridiculousness of the phrase "Have a safe flight", since it's the pilot who's flying the plane, and the unsafest thing a passenger could do is maybe not watch the safety video.
• When James talks about American terminology, he draws the states talking.
  Georgia: "POP!"
  Arizona: "Soda!!"
  Wisconsin: "Washroom!!"
  Arizona: "Bathroom!"
  Rhode Island: "bubbler..."
• Upon learning that the phrase for a sunshower is "the Devil beating his wife" instead of "meeting" like he thought, he says, "I don't know who this 'Devil's Wife' is, but you need to find a new man, dude!". Upon learning that the French add "...and marrying his daughter", he says:
  James: "WHOA, France! I'd expect that kind of behaviour from Tennessee, but not you, France! Why do you have to be so dramatic to describe your weather? I don't even want to know what you call snowstorms!"