Tekken: the series with THE Big, Screwed-Up Family in all of Fighting Games. Also Tekken: some of the most gut-bustingly hilarious content this side of the FGC, intentionally or otherwise.
And this installment is no different in spite of its lacking content relative to other entries.
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Pre-Release & Trailers
- Miguel's Reveal Trailer
, which has him taking a bite out of an apple, just to make him look like even more of an asshole.- In The Stinger of the trailer, we cut to Miguel going "WOOHOO!", which is considerable Mood Whiplash to the no-nonsense badass he was in the rest of the trailer.
- Eliza can now fall asleep on the ground and in the trailer she use it to dodge an attack.
- When she encounters Lili at the end of her trailer. She falls asleep much to the latter's annoyance.
- This official recap trailer, which is done in a 16-bit style. It cuts the first 3 games into 5 minutes. Highlights include:
- Mishima Zaibatsu being noted for animal smuggling... as Kazuya stands in the middle of rare animals crawling around his evil looking office.
- Jun revealing she's pregnant, Kazuya responds "Gotta go" then leaves.
- Jin happily introducing himself as Heihachi's grandson when looking for training.
- Heihachi repeatedly attacking people.
- "Betrayal" being a sound effect.
- Part two! Featuring Lars' exchange with Azazel:
- NOCTIS being a DLC fighter is funny enough just for how bizarre it is (on top of the FFXV/Assassin's Creed crossover) But how is Noctis added to the fight? He just runs away from Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio by claiming he has to do a favor. They just look confused. The end of the trailer has Noctis fishing with a Tekken character. Yep. Apparently Tekken and 15 share a universe... because of fishing.
- There was a crossover event with The Idolmaster featuring their costumes for female characters to wear. The trailer first showed Paul Phoenix with the outfit... and then later said it wasn't included in the event.
- The 2018 Tekken World Tour ended with a Dark Horse Victory for Panda. When Tekken producer Katsuhiro Harada came out to congratulate the winners and reveal the new characters, he showed that he felt the same way as much of the audience:Harada: Eh... Panda. Panda. REALLY?!
- The Negan gameplay trailer from the 2018 Tekken World Tour ends with Bob doing his intro, complete with catchphrase "Speed and weight!" Negan just responds "Speed? You?! (laughs) You better be jokin'!" Bob starts crying and Negan turns away with a "Well, that just happened" expression on his face.
- The trailer announcing Negan's release date ends with the man threatening Harada himself, calling the man out for releasing characters one at a time. He also says Harada's catchphrase "Don't ask me for shit!" during the trailer itself.
- For the release of new DLC character Leroy Smith, Harada got himself invited to the proverbial cookout... to Harada's confusion. He admitted that he liked barbecue, but didn't know what it meant or what made it special. Cue a long discussion with Black Twitter about what that meant and entailed.
- At the end of Ganryu's reveal trailer, one of the things that he does at the end is imitate Julia's "Stream is over!" win pose. Julia's reaction? A mix of disgust and seething fury.
- This video just about sums up Tekken 7 Season 3 in a nutshell.
- And in case Leroy wasn't enough, allow us to bring in Fahkumram for good measure.
- And in case Leroy wasn't enough, allow us to bring in Fahkumram
Story
- In Story Mode, during the cutscene fight between Heihachi and Akuma, the two throw each other around the room before Akuma unleashes a Gouhadouken. When Heihachi sees it, all he can say is "What the hell?".
- When Akuma moves against Kazuya in the G. Corp Tower, he is greeted by several G. Corp Mooks pointing their guns at him. Considering what happened with Heihachi earlier, you'd expect this to result in Akuma inflicting a Mook Horror Show on the poor soldiers... only for Kazuya to chime in over the speakers, telling his men that Akuma is way beyond their capabilities, and to send him up on the elevator already so he can basically just get the fight over with.
- Paul's story fight. He's excited that for once he's not fighting Kuma again and looks forward to actually fighting a human opponent... only to find out he's fighting Panda. And when he wins and starts with his normal showboating, the crowd starts booing and shouting that they like Panda better than him, then start throwing things at him, including a broadsword that nearly hits him in a sensitive place.
- Asuka's story fight with Lili. She's happy she won and perhaps finally ended the stupid rivalry. Then Lili announces that she's just purchased Asuka's dojo and house and will be living with her from now on. Poor Asuka doesn't have the slightest idea what to make of it.
- It should be noted that while Lili's explaining all this (and casually mentioning her rival's familial ties to the Mishima clan), she is ballet dancing at the speed of sound while Asuka simply stands there, dumbstruck.
- And in Lili's story (where she FINALLY beats Asuka in a fight), when Asuka hastily admits Lili has defeated her, Lili slaps Asuka so hard she flies across the arena. When Asuka angrily demands what Lili did that for, Lili says it was for "No reason", except that "It was fun, and you deserved it for being so... YOU." As Lili struts out of the ring, Asuka yells that wasn't a reason, and chases after Lili, telling her to come back so she could kick her ass.
- It should be noted that while Lili's explaining all this (and casually mentioning her rival's familial ties to the Mishima clan), she is ballet dancing at the speed of sound while Asuka simply stands there, dumbstruck.
- Lucky Chloe's story fight against Eddy. After she beats him, she press-gangs him into being her backup dancer, kicking him whenever he gets a move wrong. Then she informs him that when they're actually performing, he'll have to wear a girly costume. Cue the Big "NO!"!
- Eddy's story fight against Lucky Chloe has him angrily demand where Kazuya is. Chloe gives him a note - and when he opens it, he sees it's a childish cartoon drawing of Chloe and the world, with the words "Here" pointing at the world. Eddy blurts out You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!, but when he looks at where Chloe was, she's gone - and when he looks up, he sees her running away in Undercrank speed, before turning around to mock Eddy and then running away again. Eddy, crushing the note in his fist screams "Damnit!", before tossing the note away.
- In Leo's ending, after defeating Yoshimitsu, she inspects him, before resuming her mission and calls him "Weird Octopus Guy".
- In Yoshitmitsu's ending however, after defeating Leo, he notices her androgynous appearance until he he notices she stopped beating and resuscitates her. When she wakes up, she freaks out and gives him a Groin Attack, and starts running, shouting "Help! A weird Octopus guy is after me!". The next scene shows the Mishima statue glaring at him.
- Jack 7's ending, which plays out like an ode to Chuck Jones. Having beaten King in the King of the Iron Fist tournament, Jack is standing on top of the G Corporation building. He reads over a typed letter from Kazuya, which states that he's now the "Chief Humanoid Weapon" (with a monthly allowance of $25.00 for personal expenses). Jack quakes in excitement, before breaking out into a few of his signature flexes to celebrate. While he's doing this, Lucky Chloe comes along and bumps into him, causing the paper to fly out of Jack's hands. The combat android then starts trying to catch it as it flutters through the air, with Chloe watching in confusion. Finally, he leaps out and snatches it between his hands. Then we look back through Chloe's perspective, as Jack hangs in the air over the edge of the building, before dropping like a stone. Chloe dismisses it all with a "whatever" and walks off, just as a pillar of smoke rises from the edge of the building.
- Eliza's ending, where she was revealed to be Lili's elder sister. Eliza tries to deny this, even calling Lili "millennia too young to be a sister", only to fall asleep mid-sentence. Lili constantly tries to wake her up, and Eliza continued denying the claim...only to fall asleep again. Lili finally comes up with a solution to her sleepiness: Less blood, more coffee.
- What makes it hilarious is when the music starts to get intense during Eliza's speech, it deepens and stops dramatically every time Eliza falls asleep, and goes back to normal when she wakes up, and stops again when she falls asleep again.
- While it veers straight into Black Comedy, the lead up to Heihachi and Kazuya's climactic showdown unexpectedly revolves around mutual mainstream media PR disasters. This includes Heihachi setting up Kazuya to be attacked by Akuma so he record Kazuya activating his devil powers, broadcasting the footage worldwide to ruin the public's trust in him, and blowing up Millennium Tower with a satellite laser cannon. Kazuya counters this by blowing up the satellite with his devil laser, resulting with the falling debris destroying a city, and the media blaming the Zaibatsu for downing their own satellite. Not only does trigger mass anti-Mishima protests, but also makes people forget about Kazuya transforming into a devil.
Gameplay
- Two Words: Bowling minigame. Yes, it's back from Tekken Tag Tournament and Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection.
- One of Julia's new victory animations in Tekken 7 has her do some graceful Baji Quan techniques that are befitting of her character... and then we get this (pictured above):Julia: Don't forget to subscribe!
Get smacked into orbit by the Master of the Salmon here.
