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Funny: Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
  • Pretty much the entirety of Deadpool's level, especially when he's talking about Pete's love life.
    • Ow, my uterus!
    • "Listen, Webby, I can't have you swinging around in your footy pajamas, destroying my cameras. You're going to have to tangle with my army! And by army, I mean production assistants, and by production assistants, I mean unpaid interns, and by unpaid interns, I mean fans. You're going to have to tangle with my fans!"
    Deadpool: Seriously, now? An entire issue about Aunt May? Come on! And I didn't cry at the last panel. I DIDN'T CRY!
  • 2099 Spidey goading on Doctor Octopus by responding to her scientific marvels with a simple "Meh" to the point where she breaks down into a furious rage is hysterical.
  • This from Vulture's stage:
    Thug #1: If Spider-Man shows up here, I'll fill 'im fulla daylight.
    Thug #2: Pfft. It's nighttime.
    Thug #1: The same principle applies!
    Thug #3: But it don't sound as good. "I'm gonna fill you full of nightlight?"
    Thug #2: See, this is why we're just goons. We stand around havin' stupid discussions like this.
  • During Electro's stage:
    Spider-Man: (after hearing Electro make suggestive comments as he absorbs energy) Uh, eww! Do you and your generator, like, need some time alone?
    • Also from Electro's Stage:
      Spider-Man: [imitating Electro's voice]: "WITHOUT PANTS!"
    • As well as "Ugh, dude, pants! No one wants to see your junk!"
    • When Electro's feeding off of more generators later in the level.
      Electro: Yes, yes, YES!
      Ultimate: No, no, no?
      Electro: MORE!
      Ultimate: Less!
      Electro: MORE!
      Ultimate: LESS!
  • This gem from 2099's third stage.
    Doc Ock: Computer, this lab has been compromised. Activate self-destruct sequence... ten seconds.
    Spider-Man 2099: Ten seconds? That's barely enough time to come up with a clever explosion related quip.
    Doc Ock: Ooh, that must really burn you up. So long, Spider-Man. It's been a blast.
    Spider-Man 2099: Oh, she's good.
    • Any interaction between 2099 and Doc Ock qualifies.
    Spider-Man 2099: Ooh, I'm really getting under your skin! If I keep this up, you'll have a meltdown.
    Doc Ock: I won't.
    Spider-Man 2099: You will!
    Doc Ock: Silence!
  • Within the first five minutes:
    Madame Web: And now, scale the wall with your unique adhesive ability.
    Amazing Spider-Man: I believe the technical term is "stick 'em powers".
    (A couple minutes later in the Ultimate universe)
    Madame Web: And you can run across narrow walkways such as this one without fear of falling, due to your natural agility and powers of adhesion.
    Ultimate Spider-Man: They're called "stick 'em powers"... did one of the other me's make that joke already?
    Madame Web: Yes, and it was no funnier then.
    • "This quest involves jumping?!"
  • One of Amazing's first observations is that he better get going, since this neighborhood isn't going to "Friendly" itself.
  • Amazing Spider-Man's reaction to seeing the many different Spider-Men scattered across reality:
    Amazing Spider-Man: Is that... a cartoon pig?
  • Amazing Spider-Man in the DS version: Conveyor belt? Am I in a video game now?
  • Amazing in the DS version before entering the final portal.
    Amazing Spider-Man: Game Over... No, not like that, keep playing.
  • The ending after Stan Lee's narration. What'd I miss?
  • The end-credit gags involving the various villains, including Kraven trying and failing to catch a bunny, Goblin working as a carnival barker, and Scorpion's inability to use scissors.
    • Doc Ock 2099 is shown as an Octomom to child versions of Hobgoblin and Scorpion.
  • Ultimate, after Electro flings his fifth and sixth trucks at him:
    Ultimate: You really have a thing for trucks, huh? Are you sure you want to be called Electro? How about Elec-truck? Truckodon? Truck Master! Truckleberry Finn! Trucktor Doom! Oh, I know! Professor Pickup! That is something else."
    Electro: Be quiet!
    Ultimate: I really drove that one into the ground!
    Electro: Maybe these will shut you up!!
    Ultimate: Or maybe it'll make me talk more! You never know...
  • Ultimate, fighting Carnage
    "I am not losing to a monster made of - of malevolent spaghetti! ...Did I just say that?"
  • In the opening of the Juggernaut's level.
    Spider-Man: Great! Now it's just him and me.
    Juggernaut: YOU!
    Spider-Man: Great, now it's just him and me!
    • His luck doesn't improve in the fight.
      Spider-Man: Okay, laughing boy, now hold still while I deliver the Coup de Grāce!
      Juggernaut: I hate French food!
      Spider-Man: Agh— no, Coup de Grāce, it means, like—
      Juggernaut: It means you're outta here! (chucks him through a building, causing him to land several blocks away)
      Spider-Man: (pained) Well, I guess that's one interpretation.
  • In the first Noir episode, some of the mook dialogue comes off as Seussian.
    Mook 1: Did you hear about Fancy Dan?
    Mook 2: Fancy Dan, the Ladies Man?
    Mook 1: They found him in a garbage can.
    Mook 2: Oh, man, Fancy Dan...
  • When Spider-Man asks Kraven how he got the tablet fragment.
    Kraven: I am not completely ignorant in the ways of modern man, my friend. I secured it on... the Internet!
    Spider-Man: You're joking.
    Kraven: No. I had the winning bid.
  • There's something strangely funny about Hobgoblin's gibbering as he bombs the place. Plus, when Spider-Man 2099 kicks them back.
    Hobgoblin: Pumpkin bombs, pumpkin bombs, PUMPKIN BOMBS FOR EVERYONE!
    Spidey: No, thanks, you can keep this.
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