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Funny: Monty Python's Life of Brian
  • "I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me Loretta...It's my right as a man!...I want to have babies..."
    • "Where's the fetus gonna gestate, ya gonna keep it in a box?!"
  • What did the Romans ever do for us?
    • "Brought peace?" "Brought peace ... SHUT UP!"
  • "Domus? Nominative??"
    • "People called Romanes, they go the house?!"
  • That scene about made-up vulgar names. Every repetition of "Biggus Dickus" from Pontius Pilate who fails to get the "joke" sends the guards and the audience deeper into hysterics. The mention that Dickus's wife is "Incontinentia Buttocks" is what makes even the most desperately-trying-to-keep-a-straight-face members (of both groups) collapse into paroxyms of laughter. And then later on, we find out that Biggus Dickus actually exists!
    • In that scene, the guards were directed to keep a straight face throughout, and thus their ultimately futile attempts to suppress their laughter are real.
      • One of them, when Pilate is trying to provoke a reaction, makes the most hilarious little squeaking sound.
    • Gotta love how, even though it's Enforced Method Acting, both the remaining guards feebly shake their heads at the line "He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called?" One of the guards has a face that screams Oh, Crap, as seen here
      • Made worse by how the wife's name changed every take, so they never knew what was coming.
    • And when we finally meet him, Biggus Dickus is every bit the comic highlight that a Roman centurion with a name like that deserves to be.
    Let me come with you, Pontiuth. I may be of thome athithtanthe if there ith a thudden crithith! Translation: I may be of some assistance if there is a sudden crisis.
  • "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"
  • Bwian's fathuh was a Woman centuwion named Naughtius Maximus.
  • The stoning scene. "Now look, no one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle. Even... and I want to make this absolutely clear... even if they do say Jehovah!" *gets stoned*
  • "We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack! [stab] That showed 'em, huh?"
  • "Oh, it's the meek! 'Blessed are the meek!' Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something because they have a hell of a time."
    • "Yeah, well what Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is it's the meek who are the problem."
  • "Obviously it's not meant to be taken literally, it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products."
  • "I'm Brian and so's my wife!"
  • "Brian and his followers:
    Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
    Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
    Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
    Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
    Brian: Now, fuck off!
    Arthur: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?
  • The introduction of Eric Idle's "Not the messiah: He's a very naughty boy" featuring Mrs. Betty Palin.
  • The Mr. Big Nose scene at the beginning.
  • I'm surprised no one has mentioned the Three Wise Men going to see baby Brian by mistake.
    One of the Wise Men: We were led by a star.
    Brian's Mother: Led by a bottle, more like! Get out!
  • Spike Milligan's cameo in the scene when Brian's followers are schisming over whether the gourd or the shoe is more holy. Milligan stands in the middle, watching them with a bemused expression, until the whole crowd realises that Brian has gone and starts to belt after him. At which point Milligan's character decides to form a sect of his own:
    Spike: [raises hands dramatically] Stop! Stop! [declaiming] He cometh to us, like the seed from the grain...
    [He stops, realises that nobody's there, looks slightly embarrassed and walks off]
  • Judith trying to back up Brian (while in the nude) against his mother.
    Brian's Mother: ...Who's that?!
  • The Big Lipped Alligator Moment where Brian falls off the roof while escaping from the palace. The conclusion has to be seen to be believed. The absent-minded builder right before is quite hilarious as well.
    • "Oooh, you lucky bastard!"

Monty Python and the Holy GrailFunny/FilmMonty Python's The Meaning of Life

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