The Penultimate Supper, It took him hours, and turning kangaroos into disciples can't be easy.
THE BISHOP! "With 'R.F. Gromsby-Urquhart Wright' as the Voice of God"
We was too late!
Stig O'Tracy and Vince Snetterton-Lewis. Especially Graham Chapman's delivery of 'He says "I hear you've been a naughty boy Clement". And I say, "My name's not Clement"'.
The four Yorkshiremen skit (originally performed on At Last the 1948 Show with Cleese, Chapman, Tim Brooke-Taylor, and Marty Feldman). How ridiculous each story gets is hysterical. Especially this line:
Eric: I had to get up at 10 o clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed.
The "Deja Vu" sketch. On the subject of the animations, The Killer Cars.
The Argument Clinic, particularly Graham Chapman in the "Abuse Department" and the quite silly "Getting Hit on the Head lessons".
"And Oliver has run himself over!"..."Oliver is still dead, but he's not necessarily out of it!"
"My GOD, this is exciting!"
"The jump of a lifetime, if only his father could understand!"
The episodes with an actual story (three times, all in all) can be this. The Cycling Tour of North Cornwall and its recurring gag "The pump got caught in m'trouser leg" is an underappreciated highlight.
Then there's Mr. Gulliver's invention of a tomato which ejects itself just before a crash.
[tomato jumps out of Gulliver's glove box and through the car window]
Pither: Here!! That tomato's just ejected itself!
Gulliver: Really? It works! It works!![CRASH]
Non-Illegal Robbery. Hilarious all the way through, but the best part is this exchange:
Larry: We don't seem to be doin' anythin' illegal!
Boss: What d'you mean?
Larry: Well, we're payin' for the watch.
Boss: Yeah?
Larry: Well, why're we payin' for the watch?
Boss:(snorts) They wouldn't give it to us if we didn't pay for it, would they?
The Gumbies generally were made of this trope. "I THINK WE SHOULD PUT A TAX ON ALL PEOPLE WHO STAND IN WATER." *realizes that he's standing in water* "OH!"
Person #1 (inquiring how much time has elapsed): How long is it?
Person #2: That's rather personal, isn't it?
Number one - the Larch. The... Larch.
"Conjuring Today": Good evening. Last week we learned how to saw a lady in half. This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady in three bits and dispose of the body-WHOA! (gets chased off by police)
The Bicycle Repairman sketch:
Announcer: Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready! Ready to smash the communists, wipe them out, and shove them off the face of the earth!... voice rises hysterically Mash that dirty red scum, kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts! Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy bastard commies, I hate 'em! I hate 'em! AAAUUUUUUURRRRGH!
Announcer's Wife: Tea's ready!
Announcer: (calming down immediately) Coming, dear! (exits, followed by the knight with the rubber chicken)
Confuse-A-Cat. Particularly Graham Chapman's 'reassuringly professional' vet from the opening scene. "Your cat is suffering from... something we vets don't have a word for yet."
"What is your favourite color?" "Blue. No wait, yellowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..."
"Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left," says King Arthur, the entire Black Knight scene deserves this crown. "Right! I'll do you for that!".
"He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out..."
"...and his elbows broken, he was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways..."
"...and his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off and penis split-" (Granted, the last word was only in the subtitles for the singalong version in the Special Edition DVD, but it makes any guy cringe at the thought)
That scene about made-up vulgar names. Every repetition of "Biggus Dickus" from Pontius Pilate who fails to get the "joke" sends the guards and the audience deeper into hysterics. The mention of what Dickus' wife is named is what makes even the most desperately-trying-to-keep-a-straight-face members (of both groups) collapse into paroxyms of laughter. And then later on, we find out that Biggus Dickus actually exists!
Bwian's fathuh was a Woman centuwion named Naughtius Maximus.
"Now look, no one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle. Even... and I want to make this absolutely clear... even if they do say Jehovah!" *gets stoned*
"The Crimson Permanent Assurance" for MindScrewing the audience by playing right before the main feature, and then returning to attack the film itself halfway through.
"Did I... or did I not... mention... vaginal juices?"
The "liver removal" scene Crosses the Line Twice between shockingly gruesome and absolutely hilarious, especially with "The Galaxy Song" coming right afterwards. As does the Mr. Creosote scene. But the capper is the very long Steadicam shot where Eric Idle's waiter takes us for a little ride, then launches into a Cluster F-Bomb rant.
The Grim Reaper. "It was...THE SALMON MOUSSE!" And Michael Palin's contribution: "Hey! I didn't even *eat* the mousse!"
Other
"Radio Shop", from the newest CD edition of 'Matching Tie and Handkerchief'. Not only the unnecessarily verbose prose the customer constantly spews, or his attempts to get enough argument that he indeed bought his radio at the shop, or the seller's simple not-caring-that-much for him, but most of all the ending, which has to give this sketch one of Monty Python's coolest characters, especially combined with Chapman's portrayal. Part of why it is so hilarious is that it's been so put off, and so, spoiler tags!
Seller: Just who do you think you are?
Customer: Ah, you just read the name at the top of that receipt.
Seller: Mr...Armageddon.
Mr. Armageddon: Correct! And...
Seller: BOOM!
Mr. Armageddon: Better luck next incarnation. Mr. Fang, let us leave!
The Bishop on the landing sketch was especially hilarious when it was performed Live at the Hollywood Bowl due to a number of technical malfunctions and the performers (Jones especially) repeatedly cracking up.
