Funny / ER

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The TV Series.

  • Several Romano-isms. Including, but not limited to:
    Romano: I'm beginning to think ER stands for Everyone's Retarded.
    Romano: They'll be looking for a sacrificial lamb and right now you're looking pretty wooly.
    Romano: This guy's about to lose a leg! I'd say chop chop but that would be in extremely poor taste.
    • Also let's not forget when he brings in his dog to have surgery.
      Corday: Robert, this is a dog.
      Romano: Correction Lizzie: This is my dog.
  • Abby giving her version of the ER tour to the new residents.
  • A throwaway gag has Greene walk over to a paramedic bringing in two guys with billiard balls in their mouths. He sighs and asks what happened.
    Paramedic: Tweedledee here (points at one guy) put it in his mouth as part of bet. We showed up and asked what happened, and Tweedledum (point at the other guy) showed us.
     Season 1 
  • A brief moment of levity in the first disaster episode, "Blizzard". A young black man walks into the ER. Doug examines his wounded hand, and finds his thumb missing. The guy nonchalantly holds up a plastic bag with his severed thumb in it. He gets a wheelchair ride straight to the OR.
  • In an early first season episode, a patient comes in with heroin withdrawal and keeps grunting the same note over and over, sounding like a car alarm, while Greene and Lewis work on their write-ups. They start mimicking him.
  • Carter is passed out grabbing a nap in an empty exam room. Greene and Lewis, being two of the more mature members of the staff, busy themselves with putting his leg in a cast. Then they have the receptionist page him, leading to Carter stumbling groggily into the hallway before losing his balance and falling on his face.
    • Later in the same episode, a scary-looking biker who had brought his wife into the ER proceeds to grab a saw and cut the cast off for Carter, much to Carter's dismay.
      • Not to forget about nurses recording the size of Carter's penis in his medical chart...
  • Carter is bringing a patient in while Benton grills him on various medical details of the patient before asking, in the same demanding tone of voice, for the patient's mother's maiden name. Carter frantically flips back and forth through the patient's chart before nurse Haleh informs him that the last bit was a joke.
    • Benton, in a bit of an OOC moment, chuckles as he walks off while Carter fumbles through the chart.
  • They receive a phone call from the 911 dispatcher about a pizza guy who has been shot during a robbery attempt, and that he is driving himself to the hospital. Cue the pizza guy's car smashing through the entrance to the hospital and ending up in the lobby. Tag (Carol's boyfriend) steps out of a nearby exam room and sees the chaos:
    Tag: Did someone order a pizza?!
    Doug: Jerry, call security. Someone's in my spot.
  • Jerry gets one in an early episode when he's asked to look after a small child while his mother is taken into the ER and delivers this icebreaker:
    Jerry: Hey, kid. You ever see a picture of a diseased gall bladder?
    • Becomes a Brick Joke later on when a patient who needs his gall bladder removed comes in and the kid diagnoses it as, "It must have been diseased."
  • Chen's first day as an intern, she and Carter drag a defibrillator in as a patient crashes. Greene calls for the paddles, Carter turns to grab them, just as Chen thrusts them hot onto his chest, shocking him and sending him onto the floor
    Greene: What was that set on?
    Nurse: Two hundred.
    Greene: Well he should be okay.
    • Earlier in the same episode, Carter foists a rectal exam onto Chen. The patient does not enjoy it.
    Carter: Deb, did you use lube?
    Chen: Was I supposed to?

     Season 2 
  • In the season premiere, Susan and a team of nurses scramble to stabilize a patient in flatline, with no success. As they debib him, dust falls from the ceiling (earlier it had been established that maintenance workers were trying to fix the air conditioning). One of the nurses yells for the worker above them to get out of the ceiling ducts - which he does in the quickest way possible: by crashing through the ceiling, onto the patient.
    • Sending this into pure hilarity, landing on the patient is what gets his heart beating again.
      • Although he did break two of the patient's ribs and his own leg in the fall.
  • In a season two episode, Weaver has set up a camera in a trauma room in order to critique the way personnel handles cases. As she's reviewing the tape for the ER staff, she rewinds it to find an accidentally recorded conversation between Mark and Doug. Earlier in the day, Mark had pulled Doug into the room to confide in him that he was nervous about his upcoming date, the first since his divorce. Thanks to Kerry's fumbling, the entire ER staff gets to hear him confess to Doug that the only person he's ever had sex with is his ex-wife.
     Season 3 
     Season 4 
  • One early episode features husband & wife arms dealers coming in straight from a gun show where he got shot in the leg. The wife shows off the merchandise... That Came Out Wrong. The wife tries to sell guns in the reception area, letting people handle non-functional samples (legally they're not allowed to sell functional grenade launchers but they sell 'kits' that make them functional) . Jerry the Receptionist picks up a grenade launcher and speaks of using it on the neighbor's dog who keeps doing his business in Jerry's yard. He puts the grenade launcher to his shoulder and mimes tracking the dog. "Woof...Woof...Woof.." Then he pulls the trigger and fires a grenade into the parking lot, where it blows up an ambulance.
    Wife: Damn...I guess Earl used a kit on that one.
  • "Fathers and Sons": Doug has just told Mark that he's reconciled with Carol. Mark is stunned to hear this (Doug had cheated on her left and right the first time they dated).
    Mark: "Does she make you take a lie detector test every week or something?"
     Season 5 
  • In a late Season 5 episode, Greene and Corday are suturing up a patients head wounds and the talk gradually turns into That Came Out Wrong, which is even lampshaded by Corday herself... and the power then goes out.
     Season 6 
  • Malucci is complaining about the slow intake when Carter brings over a patient with a history of vomiting and diarrhoea. Malucci then proceeds to grill Carter about some other aspects of her history, diagnoses the patient with "Jamaican Vomiting Sickness" (an actual disease) with Carter in disbelief. What sells the scene is the absolute deadpan expressions of Weaver and Finch, who are watching the entire scene.
  • At the beginning of one episode, Dr. Corday walks into her apartment, where her visiting mother is making breakfast. Out of their bedroom, in his underwear, walks Mark Greene's father, who's been living with Mark, but has apparently taken a fancy on his son's girlfriend's mother.
  • Carol is in the middle of receiving an epidural when Dr. Coburn walks in. She takes one look at the situation and congratulates Mark for being the father. Cue epic "WTF" look on Mark's face.
  • This exchange between Luka and Carol:
    Luka: We even have these little hearts (starts reading off of them) "Be Mine."
    Carol: I don't recommend you eating them.
    Luka: "Dear One."
    Carol: I gotta get to Radiology.
    Luka: "Cut-tie pie?"
    Carol: That's "Cutie Pie."
     Season 7 
  • In the episode called "Homecoming", Dr. Corday had been having a bad rash all over her hands after a trip to the woods with Dr. Greene. When Dr. Romano asked about her getting exposed to poison ivy, she just looked back at him blankly (being British, she had no idea what it looked like). She asks if it will spread and Benton says that it will spread to other body parts that it has contact with. Elizabeth mutters, "Uh oh", and the next shot is Dr. Green scratching his crotch. But the joke just keeps on giving, Malucci sees him scratching in front of the new med studants and asks him if there's a "problem with the Australian boys? You keep scratching down under". Then while Elizabeth is giving him some cream and a shot for the rash, Haleh enters and can barely hold back laughter as she catches them.
    • Also from that episode, Cleo interrupts Peter while he's with a patient to remind him of his upcoming interview and advise him what suit to wear.
      Old Man: Is she your wife?
      Peter: Nope.
      (the two burst out laughing)
  • A season 7-ish episode involves prankster Dr. Malucci having been hit with a sedative after a prank gone wrong. He remained pretty much passed out the rest of the episode. Luka decides to have a little more fun with him by dermabonding his hand to his forehead.
  • Basically the first five minutes of "Sand and Water" with Mark and Elizabeth. Hell hath no fury like a scorned Elizabeth indeed.
    • Also from that episode, Mark's awkward proposal.
     Season 8 
  • "Orion in the Sky" has Mark deal with a mildly annoying patient.
    Mark: Alright. What's the problem?
    Old Lady: I have a hangnail, and it is very painful!
    Mark: I have a brain tumor, and it's inoperable. (Beat) I win.
  • "Secrets & Lies". Easily the funniest episode in the series.
     Season 10 
  • For those who like Black Comedy, the irony of Romano's death. He had to help send a patient up for a helicopter. But due to his fear associated with losing his arm to one, he got down to the ground as quick as possible. Cue the helicopter crashing down on top of him.
    • Kerry then takes Romano's large bequest to the hospital and uses it to open an LGBTQ health center.
     Season 12 
  • In a late Season 12 episode, a deaf guy and his girlfriend come into the ER after he got beat up by the cops and she OD'd on drugs. Luckily Ray and Jerry are able to sort the situation out before long. The cops come around to apologise with Jerry translating. The boy signs back "I have a special sign for you" and then proceeds to flip off the cops. Jerry sheepishly tells the guys that he doesn't need a translation for that one.
     Season 15 
  • When Carter steps in to County General in his first episode back, Gates initially confuses him with Doug Ross.
    Gates: Carter... Are you the one who got that nurse pregnant and moved to Seattle?
    Carter: No, that was somebody else.
    Gates: My mistake.
  • Benton's reaction when Carter shows him a picture of his wife Kem.
    "YOU married a sister?"
    • Even better, right before he hands the photo to Benton, Carter chuckles, knowing that Benton's going to bust his chops.
    • Not sure what Reese signed to Benton while he was speaking to Dr. Corday at the reception for the Carter Center, but he seemed to pick up on their past relationship given Benton's flustered reaction.

The DVD Outtakes.

  • George Clooney appeared to have a tendency to prank his fellow colleagues while on set. Two incidents stand out:
    • The first involves Jerry pulling out a twinkie and delivering his line correctly, then afterwards going "it's a little lubey." (He'd covered the prop with lubricant)
    • The second time he proceeded to scare the crap out of Julianna Marguiles by rigging a drawer.
  • One memorable outtake has Paul McCrane (in a scene where Lucy bangs on Romano's door in the middle of the night to find him very pissed) somehow hide another (gigantic) actor, wearing nothing but a towel and carrying a pair of handcuffs and a bottle of wine, behind him. McCrane then proceeds to flirt with him, shoo him upstairs, and call him "honey" before asking Lucy to join them. Kellie Martin, the director, and the tech crew utterly lose it.
    • There's a similar outtake from the Season 4 set where Anthony Edwards is banging on the door of an apartment/set (in a scene where he's trying to catch up with Cynthia) only for the door to reveal an overweight, disheveled painter...painting the room. To make matters worse, we are greeted with plumbers crack.
  • Alex Kingston proceeds to start kissing Laura Innes out of absolutely nowhere. Anthony Edwards proceeds to react by turning to the camera, giving a grin and a thumbs up.
    • Paul McCrane returns the favour in the Season 5 outtakes shortly after a stony-faced Alex Kingston delivers her line "The offer you made, were you serious?" by proceeding to kiss and glomp her.
  • Scott Grimes delivering this line off-camera: "This marriage is clearly a marriage truly made in the ER, because if it was [Mercy or Northwestern originally] House or Grey's Anatomy there'd be better food and booze!" Everyone loses it.
    • Another attempt: "I'd just like to say...just like to say...that this is clearly not working." Maura cannot stop corpsing.
  • One scene has Dubenko explaining to Neela what a key party is. She walks off screen and clearly states "Makes my labia wet" in one of the most cheery monotones possible. Leland and the extra in that scene proceed to go off-camera and crack up.
  • John Stamos and Goran run through a scene correctly together, only for Goran to pause and state "I thought I fucked up but I didn't."
  • The cops are proceeding to walk Pratt outside and then Kerry jumps after them, attacking the guys begging them not to take her, only to utterly screw up that scene (I believe this was Laura Innes final episode)
  • "Tell them I'm pregnant, maybe they'll cut me some [slack originally] snack and...(trails off into laughter)" Doubly funny as Sherry Springfield really WAS pregnant at the time.
  • Sherry delivering a line to a patient, ending with "but in situations like these...". Someone off-camera yells "The memory goes first!" All she can do is swear.
  • La Salle's inability to pronounce "Megalomaniacal." (this apparently turned into "Maniacal sadist" in the end)
  • Paul McCrane absolutely ruining a take by finishing the scene perfectly, only to then turn to the camera and pull a face that is completely inappropriate to the scene.
  • A rare non-ER example: during one of the Season 9 outtakes, the monkey proceeds to escape out of the net shot at it.
  • Ming-Na Wen drops a lid off of a medicine bottle. She bends to pick it up and one of the crew yells out "Not going to this hospital, I'm telling you that." Everyone cracks up laughing.
  • Mekhi and Sharif proceeding to play-wrestle mid-scene.
  • Anthony Edwards encouraging Alex Kingston to moon the camera while singing the Hokey Pokey.
  • Malucci utterly screwing up his ""The Reason You Suck" Speech" mid-sentence.
  • One of the extras is unable to time his jumping to the defib paddles.
  • Anthony Edwards saying "Show me your tits." and Alex Kingston's startled "What?!"
  • Basically anytime Alex Kingston appears in a scene, her facial expressions are hilarious.