Funny: Dwarf Fortress

When they say "Losing is Fun", they mean it.

  • The Consolidated Development page is rather ripe with these:
    • "Core59, LOVE AND ROMANCE, (Future): Though some of the dialog is likely to be an entertaining trainwreck, especially if coupled with a random poem generator (yes, that's a threat)"
    • "PowerGoal 90, BY THE POWER OF MOTHRA, (Future): You say a prayer to Mothra in the face of your enemies and are filled with great strength. You rip the heart from the chest of your adversary and eat it in front of his quailing comrades."
  • The Devlog chronicles Toady One's progress in programming the game, testing features, and fixing bugs, past and present. Besides odd snippets that are amusing on their own without context, quite a few of these entries tend to oscillate between Nightmare Fuel and Black Comedy, especially where injuries and violence are concerned.
    As I was watching, blood splattered on the walls and floor, and another dwarf ran over to diagnose the patient again, while the dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice.
  • This thread chronicles the adventures of SpiralDimentia and forum members managing to trick him into removing the cotton candy sword from a curious structure and experiencing spoilers. To his credit he took it with a great sense of humor and it turned into an epic thread of awesomeness.
    SpiralDimentia: Oh god, you guys are dicks, I think I just unleashed a horde of demons into my base.
    SpiralDimentia: Okay, so the migrants have managed to release the bronze colossus...
  • At one point during the thoroughly insane succession fortress Battle Failed, a forest titan wandered onto the map. The militia prepared to defend the fortress from the monstrosity... and then this happened.
  • Several of the wiki articles qualify, especially the ones "Rated D for Dwarf." See Batman, Unfortunate accident, Goblin Christmas, and Scamps for candidates.
  • Engravers, who tend to troll other dwarves (mostly the ones in a position of power) by covering every fifth tile they engrave with an image of the current position of power, surrounded by their most hated vermin (worms, bats, toads, insects, etc) and cowering. Not only are they engraving the fort with political satire, but the mental image is hilarious.
    • Quite a bit of the engraved material is worthy of a good chuckle.
  • As polished as the game is, sometimes the grammar is a bit off. Case in point? "His guts is broken."
    • You can also get a report that, "His guts is fractured."
    • And with cave-ins, "It [double space] the (dwarf) in the body part".
    • And the hilarious "Floating Guts guts".
  • This thread about a Bronze Colossus that was chasing after a kitten:
    "The Bronze Colossus punches The Stray Kitten in the head with its right hand, but the attack glances away!"
    Poster: It tried punching it in the head at least 12 or 13 times, but every time the attack glanced off. What the hell was that cat's head made out of, slade?
  • This thread has perhaps the most hilariously unexpected Killer Rabbit of all time: The giant sponge.
    • They have the [MOUNT_EXOTIC] tag. Draw your own conclusions.
      Without a nervous system...
      The only thing they can feel...
      IS ANGER.
  • Due to copious amounts of Noodle Incidents and unfortunate selection of topics and titles, the procedurally generated books can be quite funny. Some examples include vitriolic rants against a random town the necro never visited, and books about books about books about themselves, give or take a few layers.
  • A Note to Urist - wherein fortress Overseers express their frustration with their epically stupid dwarves.
  • On the Adventure Mode page on the wiki, one of the FAQ's is, "I managed to escape but all my limbs are gone. Now what?" It then goes on to talk about what you can do, depending on what limbs you are missing. If you have all your arms and legs gone, it talks about how you could wrestle people to the ground and kill them using only your teeth.
  • "I killed a bronze colossus, and you'll never guess how."
    • He killed it by knocking its head off with a cute fluffy critter.
  • My epic first dragon encounter.
  • Forum member GoombaGeek Badly draws your reports!
  • THE WAGON THREAD : now with were-wagons, wagon-loads of puns, Oregon Trail references, wagon adventurers, wagon epitaphs, and more absurdity that you can process!
  • DF Talk #19: Rainseeker, Capntastic and Toady One discuss ways to discourage nonsensical training methods like having the credit your adventurer gets for slaying a troll diminish as villagers come to see him as the dumbass who throws rocks and wrestlers badgers all day.
  • When being interviewed by Penn State's Society of Physics Students, one of them asks a question about future development with the density of magma, as at current Lava is Boiling Kool-Aid.
    Student: Well realistically if you drop a cow down a volcano it should just sit on top of the lava and burn to death instead of falling down into the magma sea and revealing all minerals on the map.
  • The titanic complexity of Adventurer Mode allows for a large number of unintentionally amusing Shout Outs. For example, in a single playthrough you can quite happily go around murdering people with a silver hammer, kill a giant with an antler, fight off your own severed hand, raise cash by selling otter's noses, jaguar's ears and badger's spleens, bite someone's legs off after losing all four of your own limbs, and find the exact value of a pair of dingo's kidneys.
  • Greatly entertaining is the ability for legendary warrior dwarves to dismember enemies so explosively that the combat logs read "...and the severed part goes flying off in an arc!"
  • This take on Edward Gorey's The Gashlycrumb Tinies.
    • Note that there are no "missing" letters. The letters used are the ones represented in the dwarven alphabet.
      • Add in the extra letter in the form of Th. The author decided that dwarves probably would have an unique letter for that sound.
  • Behold ! The elusive thermonuclear catsplosion !
    • !!xStray cat pancreasx!!
  • Vampire dwarfs do not drink wine... but they still get alcohol withdrawal.
  • Among the many unhappy thoughts that can be triggered by way of ghost attack...
    He has been attacked by a dead and still annoying acquaintance lately
  • Dwarf Fortress, a fantastic freeware civilization/roguelike game that advertises losing as being fun, has much of this at random. Particularly, you can allow a dwarf to tantrum and assault something or someone, causing another dwarf to tantrum and do the exact same thing to other dwarves, thereby setting up a Disaster Dominoes that eventually kills everybody and completely ruins your entire fortress—even if the cause was simply a dwarf not being able to eat at a table. Or, you can set a dwarf on fire and he will simply not notice enough to allow himself to grab a drink from the local stores of alcohol... which bursts into flames and causes everything in the vicinity to catch fire, including other dwarves, who still won't notice and will wander about the fortress causing every non-fire-safe material they touch to catch fire, eventually causing your entire fortress to burn down to the ground.
    • This game has a lot of Video Game Cruelty Potential. If you are able to harness a source of unlimited running liquid (be it water or magma), you can redirect them to create deathtraps that involves locking in the victims and slowly filling up the death chamber with liquid, the end result being that they either drown to death or they melt horribly in molten rock.
    • The best way to handle those annoying nobles? Set up suicide booths just for them — a standard suicide booth involves a switch and a trap that will result in a guaranteed death for anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room as the switch.
      • Fun traps include: floors that give out when the victims are standing on them, causing them to drop to their deaths; drawbridges that squash them flat when they are in range; deliberate cave-ins intended to crush the one who triggered it; locked chambers of ballista doom...
      • See the hilariously-titled wiki page Unfortunate Accident.
    • And, of course, there's the dwarf-eating carp. And the elephants. And the unicorn.
      • "I think I made the fish too hardcore."
    • See Boatmurdered for the right way to use magma, and the wrong way to do most of everything else.
    • There are also a few hilarious DF videos, such as this one.
  • "So I retired and unretired a fort, and all the fortress pets are now clothed. The yaks, the cats, the dogs, everything."
  • "I must leave."
  • A user had issues with dwarves climbing trees and getting injured when they inevitably fell out. Another user suggested building a meeting area so that the dwarves would stop wandering off.
    PK1312: Alright, so, I made a well and designated it a meeting area and now I have a new problem: Dwarves jumping to their deaths down the well.
  • One of DF2014 added the ability to geld animals in Fortress Mode, but it can also occur in combat during Adventure Mode. Ouch.
  • "Confronted by a dog." Or, the story of how the reign of a legendary necromancer adventurer overlord, who has had hundreds of kills under his name, comes to an unexpected end... by the hands of an ordinary dog and a bunch of farm animal. Said livestock later go on to engineer a successful rebellion against the humans living within the community.