Funny: Das Sporking

  • Pretty much every time Mervin has a meltdown over the Purple Prose in Twilight. One particularly bad passage led to her Pauling out and snarling "I hate everything!"
  • Many of the alternate titles for the sporked works.
  • Raxis's speculation that Fox News is secretly run by youma, after assisting with his first sporking in the Sailor Moon fandom.
  • The comm's collective headcanon that the Volturi are taking so long to exact justice is because they decided to take their entire coven on a fabulous American road-trip! Also, those costumes and choreography take time and practice.
    • In particular, Marcus preferring to stare at the World's Biggest Ball Of Twine rather than preside the "trial".
    • Not to mention Mrs. Hyde's running theory (which quite a few readers have taken up) that turning into a vampire in the Twilight 'verse automatically makes a character unbelievably stupid. Aro is the head of the vampire world simply because, while he's as dumb as the rest of them, he's at least aware of it.
  • Mervin decided to have Sam Winchester as a guest commenter for chapter 9 of Eclipse, but she didn't want to spend all the time fangirling over him. So, she decided that the best course of action would be to drug herself out of her own mind. The best part is when she interrupts the spork to "finish her statue".
    Mervin: It is of a koala bear riding a unicorn over a double rainbow. *points at nothing* Do you like it?
    Sam: *stares speechlessly*
  • Sitaspell and cheryl_bites point out the unintentional hilarity of "Save The Pearls" as they succinctly highlight the book's bizarre imagery of a minstrel show actress wanting to bump uglies with a Thundercat.
  • Two words: Catsuit Tuesday.
    GEHAYI: [...Christian Grey] hasn’t had an excuse to beat anyone for almost a whole week. Taylor is taller than he is, more muscular and ex-Army. I think there’s a limit to what he’ll tolerate, even on Catsuit Tuesday.
    KET: And Taylor wouldn’t cry. He’d just check his email on his phone or read a magazine.''
    GEHAYI: Oh, that would be priceless. “You’re supposed to cry!”
    KET: “I’m crying on the inside, sir.”
    GEHAYI: *laughs*
  • Sitaspell's call to come up with a more Significant Anagram for Edgler Foreman Vess was readily answered with alternate names like "SAVE DEMON SEMEN", "FEDERALS GOVERN ME", "FLAVORED GREEN MESS", and "SEVEN EMERALD FROGS" among other gems.
  • Harlequin Tentacle Porn brought to you by Gethsemane Butler. It's the perfect blend of ridiculous narm and nightmare fuel, both hilarious and horrible. It's hilarible!
  • Pointed out by Mervin from The Twilight Illustrated Guide: "ASTAROTH, whose name was actually George, THREW OFF HIS CLOAK."
  • Mrs Hyde's meltdown over the eight pointed snowflake in Breaking Dawn, Chapter 27 Part II. Crystallographer rage, indeed.
  • Sitaspell's rendition of the 'battle royale' from Hedging His Bets:
    *announcer’s voice*


    Bad-ass HAWGS of the HEDGE Katie and Blake Carlisle will face off in a bloody, no-holds-barred showdown in an alley on the mean streets of…badass-shifter-ville. In a grim competition to see who can be the worst possible friend and overall human being, Katie and Blake will go head to head as they claw and scratch their way across the asphalt that lines the alley. Katie, the Pretty and Skinny Baby-Got-Back-Singing Bartender and Blake, the Murderous Blonde-Stalking Ass-Kicker are locked and loaded to fight the battle of their lives. Will Katie’s poorly defined character achieve the inconsistency of Castiel’s after season five? Will Blake finally overcome his hedgie shame and succeed in driving his throbbing phallus into Honey’s love grotto?




    */announcer’s voice*
  • The Whittler, with all her photoshop prowess, brings us Jar of Heart's Viserystache.
  • Mervin's summary (in part 2 of the spork of Chapter 35 of Breaking Dawn) of how Stephenie Meyer tried to write the Cullen family as the epitome of Old Money, and instead wrote them as the crass, tasteless New Money stereotype.
    Meyer really, really wanted Edward to be Mr. Darcy. Instead, she wrote him as MC Hammer.
    • During the review of Twilight Correspondence #12, Mervin gets it in her head to ask Mrs. Hyde to recall every moment Edward Cullen was ever arrogant during the entire Twilight saga. The very next statement out of Meyer's mouth in that correspondence was that Edward wasn't arrogant. Mervin (and likely the reader) were laughing their asses off when Hyde Pauls out.
  • Some of the "scripts"note  Riyna_chan and Midoriri make during the sporks of the Suite Pretty Cure ♪ Meet the Dream Traveler offer moments like this; like Kanade lacing her cupcakes with friendship and aesops.
    • Also from the scripts, Aphrodite referring to herself as "motherfuckin' Queen of Major Land"note  has earned quite a few laughs.
  • Smile Pretty Cure! has the open crush Riyna and Midoriri bear for Reika.
  • It took six months for D_S to realize Midoriri and Riyna were dating, despite the two being fairly unsubtle about it in their sporks together and the two outright confirming it on the Characters page. The fic that made everyone realize it? A Danisha/Frollo smutfic.
  • Riffing Academy's zinger against a story that had the main characters equipped with a "vaccine" that gave them immortality, among other things:
    "It's a vaccine for this condition called "death". I call it the "Lazarus Vaccine!" The boys in the lab wanted to call it "Jesus Juice" but I had reservations about that."
  • This comment, on a line from The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner:
    Bree utters a line—“So we're walking disco balls”—that, were this any other author, would make me think was a nod and a wink to the audience, except I know this is Meyer, and I have a feeling it’s more of a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
  • This exchange between Zelda Queen and Midoriri from the second fic in the Sailor Rainbow series. After Serena declares it's time for "some moon and rainbow power..."
    ZELDA QUEEN: "That sounds kind of indecent."
    MIDORIRI: "Rainbow and Moon power. Sounds like what happens when an entire Pride Parade drops their briefs at once."
  • Bekah's intro to the spork of Draco Sinister points out the fuck-up in the title: 'sinister' is Latin for 'left', so in her words, "I give to y’all the adventures of the left-handed dragon. Enjoy."
  • Mervin's comment on Renesmee's 3"5 height in the Twilight Illustrated Guide - "Jacob loves it!" - and her immediate desperate begging for forgiveness.