- That epic rumble between the five rival newscaster groups, followed by Ron and his friends casually discussing it over beer.
"I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava."
"I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said. (Winces) My stomach itches."
"I pooped a hammer."
"I pooped a tape recorder."
- Brick (at Brian's urging) inviting Veronica to "the pants party." Poor Brick clearly has no idea what's he's doing.
Veronica: Excuse me?
Brick: The... party. With pants. ...party with pants?
Veronica (as it dawns on her): Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
Brick (innocently): That's it!
Veronica: Hm. Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
Brick: No! ...yes, he did.
Veronica (gently): Okay. No, I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
Ian (quietly): ...no, Brick.
- Ron's conversation with Veronica on their date, about the founding of the city.
"They named it "Sahn Dee-ahgo", which, of course, is German for "a whale's vagina".
- "I love Scotch. Scotchy Scotch Scotch."
- "Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!"
- "Scotchy Scotch Scotch" is now the name of a Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor released to tie into the sequel (it's butterscotch with butterscotch swirl).
- The jazz flute solo. Particularly when it culminates in Ron shouting, "Hey, Aqualung!"
- At the start of the movie, Ron warms up by doing some tongue-twisters like "How now, brown cow" and "Unique New York." These grow increasingly silly, culminating in lines such as "The arsonist has oddly-shaped feet" and "The Human Torch is denied a bank loan."
- No love for the infamous Sex Panther (rowrr!)? It's quite pungent.
- It stings the nostrils ... I'm going to be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
- And 60% of the time, it works every time.
- "It smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food!"
"Desire smells like that to some people."
- It smells like Bigfoot's dick! [And is so strong that it sets off the fire alarm in any room it's in, requiring the user to be hosed down]
"This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier!"
- In one deleted scene, a passer-by at the zoo says "It smells like the inside of a fake leg." And from an outtake, that funny motorized box the Sex Panther is contained in malfunctions, and Brian says that it cost $13,000. Ron asks if he can return it, but Brian then says he got it black market.
- "Tickets to the gun show."
- "And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego."
- Ron being perfectly chipper afterwards, literally not having a clue what he just did.
- Garth Holliday's emotional response to it.
Ron: Garth, if I would give you some money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain?
Garth: I HATE YOU RON BURGUNDY! I HATE YOU! *storms off*
- Ron Burgundy: It's so *hot*! Milk was a bad choice.
- " NEWS TEAM... ASSEMBLE!"
- They're right next to him, offscreen, playing pool. Literally, you can see them in the background of the previous shots.
- The News Team fighting the bears.
- Brick talking about himself ("I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks") while spooning mayonnaise into a toaster.
- Champ: "Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off."
- "I'M IN A GLASS CAGE OF EMOTION!!"
- "I IMMEDIATELY REGRET THIS DECISION."
- In one scene Champ says the following to Ron:
Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team.
Ron Burgundy: That's a given.
Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much! I miss being with you. I miss being *near* you. I miss your laugh!
[laugh's playfully and pulls on Ron's sleeve]
Champ Kind: I miss your scent.
[Composes himself, becomes serious]
Champ Kind: I miss your musk... When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?
Ron Burgundy: Maybe sit the next couple plays out.
- In the bear pit:
Veronica: In case we die here today, there's something that you should know. That dirty trick with the Teleprompter, it wasn't-
Ron: Sweet Eli Whitney's nose! It wasn't you, was it? It was Wes Mantooth. Oh, I should have known.
Veronica: No, no. No, I did it.
Ron: YOU BITCH!
- During the credits, one of the deleted scenes has Ron asking Brick if he'll be holding another celebrity golf tournament. Brick declines, and nonchalantly explains because "too many people died last year", so he won't be doing it again.
- Then Steve Carell immediately breaks into laughter.
- "YOU ARE A SMELLY PIRATE HOOKER." "YOU LOOK LIKE A BLUEBERRY!" "WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND?!"
- Ed Harken constantly on the phone as his son's troubles become increasingly ridiculous ("My son was on something called 'acid' and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. You know how kids are!")
- "I have no idea where he could've gotten a hold of German pornography. But let's be reasonable... We're both adults, I'm sure we've both seen our fair share of pornographic material. (beat) Oh, you never have? Of course not, neither have I. I was just speaking in generalities."
- "Look Chris, just put the gun down and let the marching band go on. We'll write it off as a prank!"
- "I'm Ron Burgundy?"
"Dammit! Who typed a question mark on the teleprompter?!"
- A deleted scene while Ron is still depressed over losing his job. His phone rings, he picks it up, but no one answers. Ron becomes angry and tells the caller on the other line to either talk or leave him alone. We cut to the caller: the panda bear from the Pleasure Town sequence.
- The scene where Ron and Veronica insult each other right after the newscast, since their mics have been muted so the audience can't hear it. The stuff they say is hilarious - it gets even funnier in the outtakes when Will Ferrell makes Christina Applegate burst out laughing.
"I'm gonna shoot you in the back of the head with a BB gun when you're not looking, that's what I'm gonna do."
- Baxter's conversation with the bear, communicated in subtitles.
- The Cross Promotional campaign of Ron Burgundy promoting the 2014 Dodge Durango. Highlights include the commercials "It Comes Standard", "Gumball Machine" (both these two ads promote the glove box), "Ballroom Dancers", "Lie in Wait" (which continues from "Ballroom Dancers"), and "Do-dge".
- Veronica's response to being called "Tits McGee" by the announcer (who Ron had bribed). Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome because she holds her cool in the face of sexism.
"Good evening, I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation."
- In Wake Up Ron Burgundy, Amy Poehler plays a bank teller who gets held up by the Alarm Clock, and then proceeds to call them out over the incoherency of whatever message they're trying to send. Specifically, the fact that the masks they're hiding their faces with are Lincoln (Paul Hauser), Nixon (Helen) and a werewolf (Kanshasha X). When asked if the werewolf mask is supposed to signify that the Alarm Clock are bloodthirsty killers, Hauser replies that they're actually pacifists, and she points out that that's not a smart thing to say to someone you're trying to rob. She then points out that Malcolm Y isn't even wearing a mask, and Malcolm responds that he just doesn't give a shit. The teller then praises him for actually coming off as a little intimidating and agrees to give some money to him, but tells the other three to beat it.
- "You're not Ron..."
- The fact that Brick is perfectly static (to the point that some viewers usually think that something wrong with the DVD) as he says this.
- This line from the Pleasure Town sequence:
Ron: Look! The most glorious rainbow ever!
Veronica: Oh! Do me on it!