Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.
Despite the horror-thriller genre, there will be moments where laughter can be found.
- After Nightingale's resurrection and the Sheriff's disappearance, Deputies Mulligan and Thornton make a big, hammy reaction about how "magic ain't real" with one checking with the other to make sure that's true. Given that they are both part of the cult, and were once Torchbearers (or at least had a decent grasp of Bright Falls' strangeness) before joining the cult, it's really Bad "Bad Acting" in retrospect.
- You see campaign signs for Mayor Setter throughout Bright Falls and Watery, and even hear a radio ad from a competing candidate, making it seem like it's a serious election. And then you get to meet Mayor Setter in Suomi Hall — they're a dog.
- A subtle environmental one at the lodge the agents use as a safehouse. Namely, you can tell which of the rooms is Casey's by the enormous amount of coffee cups covering the furniture.
- One of the collectibles you can find around Watery are the Koskela brothers adverts for local stores, they're laughably terrible.
- Just how dull Jaakko is in these commercials, even when he's supposed to be attacked by a (cardboard) bear. He later admits he just does them because there's free beer.Jaakko: (while approached by a cardboard cutout) Oh no. A bear. (quietly "cowers" before the cutout as it continues "growling") Help.
- When meeting Ilmo and Jaakko for the first time in person, Ilmo praises the way his brother really comes alive when the camera is on him, implying he's normally even duller.
- The first ad, for their hiking tour service, has a simple response to increased security from the Federal Bureau of Control along Cauldron Lake: "Fuck the government!" (everyone, including the bear, flips the bird) "We have bolt cutters!" Notably, this is one of the only moments in which you can see actual enthusiasm from Jaakko.
- This line gets even funnier when Saga (a government agent, remember) actually obtains a pair of bolt cutters.
- The "Bright Falls Blend" advert has Ilmo listing the health benefits of coffee while a disclaimer says coffee has no effect on any of the above. It is also sourced locally... in Puerto Rico. Ilmo even scratches his nose to cover his mouth as he mumbles where the coffee is really from.
- The Ahma Beer ad opens thusly:Ilmo: Jaakko, we're going to a cool guy's house to drink some brewskis. Are you coming?
Jaakko: [wearing a turtleneck and holding a glass of wine] No, Ilmo. I'm very busy wearing a turtleneck and drinking wine... [with visible and audible disgust] like an asshole.- This is followed by Ilmo explaining that, as a traditional Finnish beer, Ahma is meant to be enjoyed the traditional Finnish way:note
- At the bar, while actively avoiding small talk with strangers!
- Getting blackout drunk on a boat during Midsummer and trying not to drown!note
- In the sauna, using your beer can to hide your "pippeli" from wandering eyes!
- This is accompanied by a shot of Ilmo covering himself with a regular can, followed by a shot of Jaakko covering himself with a tallboy and smirking at the camera.
- Partaking in the Finnish tradition of Kalsarikännit: drinking at home alone in your underwear with no intentions of going out!
- Jaakko: It's not sad if it's intentional.
- For their Kalevala Knights Motorcycle Club Deerfest floats ad, they boast that the previous year, they won the award for Best Deerfest Float Featuring an Animal that is Not a Deer.
- In addition to Deerfest floats, they also do floats of things they can’t show on television! Keep in mind, they previously used the word “fuck” and flipped the bird in an ad used on local television.
- “WE’LL BUILD ANYTHING. (Kalevala Knights Motorcycle Club reserves the right to refuse service if the customer’s proposal is impractical, boring, or we just don’t want to do it.)”
- The last one, in the Dark Place, is Ilmo giving a review of Return as part of a book club. The catch is, he's reviewing the physical book itself, not the story. He talks about the binding techniques, the quality and feel of the paper the pages are made of, the plot summary on the back, and even the book jacket the same way one would talk about the plot or characters. One can only assume he hasn't actually read the book (and probably isn't one for reading books in general), but Scratch is forcing him to make a commercial singing its praises anyway.
- Just how dull Jaakko is in these commercials, even when he's supposed to be attacked by a (cardboard) bear. He later admits he just does them because there's free beer.
- The Mood Whiplash induced by the "Herald of Darkness" sequence is so severe that it loops back around to hysterical. Clips include Alan in Cool Shades, Warlin Door hamming it up, Sam Lake among the guides just because, and the jazz interlude that leads into the final chorus.
- It also turns into an Overly Long Gag near the end, with Alan seemingly escaping to the backstage room of Mr. Door's talk show... only for the room to fall away, beginning the aforementioned jazz section.
- Just the idea that Door himself set this entire thing up mostly for kicks implies that either he's got a wicked and weird sense of humor, or he's incredibly bored being trapped in the Dark Place for an excess of time. The fact that the Dark Presence doesn't intervene or mess with it at all also implies it's getting bemusement off-screen at Alan's expense.
- Alan's unsettling meeting with Thomas Zane abruptly gives way to a Binge Montage, with Alan and Zane both getting completely wasted in Zane's hotel room and dancing wildly, all set to "The Happy Song".Alan: It's "Return", because... we return.
- Just the sheer absurdity of seeing Alan getting drunk and high with a doppelganger counts for this.
- The later revelation that Alan was most likely possessed by Scratch during this sequence makes things a funnier; despite being a crazed force of nature in this game, he also hasn’t quite let go of his party-hard nature.
- Most of the lunchboxes Saga can find have words of encouragement on the inside. One of them has the distributor apologize because some of their fanfiction got mixed in with the manuscript fragments, so could she not read them, please?
- Sure enough, you can actually find some pages of said fanfiction. Her Codename Was Mary Sue doesn't even begin to describe it.
- If you follow the clues, you'll eventually learn that the one placing the lunchboxes is Rose. Because of course she wrote self-insert fanfiction about her and Alan.
- Even better, one page implies that she's also fallen for Mr. Scratch of all people.
- The jukebox at the Oh Deer diner is out of order because someone played "Coconut" too many times. Considering it's his favorite song, this was almost certainly Odin Anderson's doing. Leave it to the crazy old rocker to completely wreck a jukebox.
- If you re-visit the diner later in the game, you'll find that the jukebox is actually working just fine. They probably just put that sign on it to keep Odin away from it.
- In the aftermath of Scratch's attack on the Sheriff's station, Saga asks Estevez if the FBC has any information on the Clicker. Estevez promptly turns full Motor Mouth to tell her that: good news, they do; bad news, it's classfied; good news, Saga is now officially deputized into the FBC, here's the key to where all the documents are, go nuts. Saga's only response is a shocked, "Uh... go, team?"
- Early on, Saga can meet Ilmo Koskela assisting an FBC engineer with repairing equipment at Cauldron Lake. A later manuscript page reveals that the Cult of the Tree, much to Ilmo's dismay, were the ones impeding FBC operations in the first place, meaning that Ilmo is capitalising on his own sabotage of their tech to make some extra money from them despite his deep annoyance at the whole situation. Guess he had to find silver linings where he could.
- The manuscript page Nightingale Enters the Lake has a Call-Back to Carl Stucky, it comes so out of left field it becomes hilarious.
- If Saga leaves Estevez before starting the final mission, one thing Saga can say is "Wish me luck!" Estevez immediately responds that the Luck and Probability Department has proved that doing that actually increases bad luck. Saga doesn't know how to respond to that.
- Casey and Estevez basically become instant BFFs off-camera through their Commonality Connection: complaining about their ex-wives. Saga teases him about it when she catches him referring to Estevez by her first name. Later, after the police station is saved from the Taken attack, we get this moment between the two:Estevez: My ex always hated missions like this. The kind that could kill me.
Casey: Heh, that's funny. The missions that could kill me were my ex's favourite. - If you hang around the last meeting with Zane, he will reveal himself to be "acting" him being shot in the head. He'll recite a poem, call cut, and congratulate everyone. Alan lets out a perfectly timed "What the fuck."
- While Saga details the plan on getting Alan out of Cauldron Lake using the Clicker with another work of art, Casey complains about paperwork.Casey: I'm not filling out the paperwork for this one. Wouldn't know where to start. But I'm sold.
- Saga calls Tor and Odin to come help with their plan to summon Alan from Cauldron Lake. They load up their tour bus (which is to say, the retirement home's bus) and drive over to help Saga. Specifically, Odin is the one driving. To say he Drives Like Crazy is an understatement.Tor: Kiddo! We're almost at the gig! And Odin's run over four minions of darkness! The bus is our hammer!
Odin: I'm driving with one hand!
Saga: I need you meet me at the shore. Is the song ready?
Tor: Almost! Odin's got a killer chorus! ... Bro, tree! Tree!
Odin: What tree? There's no tree in the song! [crashes into said tree] Who the fuck puts a tree in the middle of the road?!
Tor: We're not on a road!
Saga: Drive carefully, grandpa!
Tor: Pedal to the metal, bro!
Odin: Metal to the pedal!
Tor: Yeeaaah!
Odin: Woohoo!
Saga: Very rock and roll way to drive. - As Saga gets closer to the shores of Cauldron Lake, one can hear the Andersons tuning up their sound equipment and instruments, leading to a somewhat funny sequence.Tor: Testing, testing. Gonna need more reverb.
Odin: Crank it up to eleven!
Tor: I'm getting no bounce out here.
Odin: Hey! Where are my chimes?
Tor: I threw 'em out! Chimes are not rock and roll!
Odin: Yeah they are, if you know how to use them! - Just as Odin starts singing "Dark Ocean Summoning," he unfortunately coughs.Tor: You're making me look bad in front of Saga, bro.
Odin: (clears throat) Let's try that again. - As the song "Dark Ocean Summoning" starts up correctly, Estevez has both her more stoic agent moment and a "let's rock" moment.Estevez: A whole lot of paranatural crimes happening right now. But it's fucking awesome! I want a t-shirt!
- After capturing Scratch, Saga is whisked away to the Dark Place. That's not funny. The Old Gods driving into the Lake to rescue Saga despite how old they are and armed only with their instruments? Maybe a little funny. Alan explaining to Estevez the Old Gods will be alright, but not save Saga since "They performed in my musical" as Estevez decides she no longer wants to understand what happened? Definitely funny.
- To get Rose to work with her, Saga claims she's there on orders from Alan, and Rose will chatter about all the different ways Alan sends directions to her, such as through clouds or the newspaper. When Rose and Alan finally meet up, Alan has no clue what messages she's talking about.
- Alan crosses into the Dark Presence's version of Bright Falls to find a masquerade of the town happily celebrating Deerfest and the release of Return. Everyone has nothing but acclaim toward the book via all the townsfolk speaking in the trite language of vapid book reviews or the blurbs printed on back covers.
- One of the new elements in the Final Draft is TV messages left by Dr. Darling. In one of them, he meets Zane. Darling thinks Zane looks familiar, while Zane thinks Darling sounds familiar.
- After solving a math puzzle to open a cult stash in Watery, Saga sees this note taped to the lid:"Why do I have to take a fucking math test to open a stash? I can't do math in my head! I'm not Ada fucking Lovelace! I missed dinner getting this thing open! It was family pizza night!"
- In fact, a good few of the stashes contain messages from disgruntled cult members complaining about how much work they have to do in order to open them."Why can't we just have normal fucking keys?!"
- In fact, a good few of the stashes contain messages from disgruntled cult members complaining about how much work they have to do in order to open them.
- The fact that the cryptic backmasked line from "Take Control", which fans likely spent years trying to pick apart and decipher for hidden meaning... literally just describes Ilmo getting so drunk he started seeing double while reading some FBC documents he stole, noticing "Hey, if you overlap two of these pyramid logos in just the right way, it kinda looks like a tree," and coming up with the design for the Cult of the Tree's own logo based on that.
- Related, the fact that he stole said documents by posing as a coffee delivery guy to gain access to the FPC outpost, swiping them when no one was looking, and then just walking out without a hassle. Not even he could believe how hilariously lax the FBC's security is for it to have been that easy.
- The Watery Lighthouse contains plans to turn the lighthouse into a light-based Wave-Motion Gun to fight the Dark Presence, which contains such incredibly technical jargon as "it takes light from the light thing". Saga takes one glance at it and instantly knows it's one of Ilmo's crazy ideas.
- A random detail nigh-impossible to make out while playing normally exists in one of the small boats seen off the coast of Watery: it is inexplicably manned by a crew of bear and moose plushies, all enjoying beers in the cabin.
Meta:
- The patch notes contain a lot of gems, such as
- Fixed instances of Alex Casey t-posing menacingly
- Fixed the weather. It should not be raining indoors anymore
- A Manuscript page did not want to be found and has been taught a lesson
- After the Summoning boss fight, only Saga can pick up crossbow bolts (sorry, Alan)
- Fixed an issue with a mouse (with a big presence) blocking progress.
- Improved shadow quality inside the Valhalla Nursing Home to respect the elderly even more.
- Fixed broken materials on the garage building in downtown Bright Falls raising property value.
- Fixed (or ruined, depending on your view) the “chameleon chair” visible in front of the sauna. It’s not changing color anymore 🙁
- Removing the fun. It’s the beginning of the year. Explosions will no longer deal damage through doors.
- Fixed an issue where Fadeouts in the Poet’s Cinema Theater would sit in the air or inside of the theater seats. That was too spooky.
- Added audio for impacts when the Espresso Express hits the player. Don’t try it please. Coffee World is in enough trouble as it is.
- Fixed the vegetation not always reacting to explosions in a cool way.
- Fixed a, well, uh, issue with a rogue boot moving along the Cynthia boss fight arena.
